Life Weavings

A journey of discovering the relationships of humanity, actively and passionately committed to truth within a deep love for life.

[lifeweavings]

45: Removing the Link Between Diagnosis and Behavior

Diagnoses are a frame of reference for looking at behavior, and therefore often limit us to understanding one another and ourselves.  When it comes to gun control, the focus on mental health by both sides is accurate, but not for the reason either thinks.

If we want to effect change, then we need to step away from limiting stories about our behavior, and into how we expand a person’s flexibility in the face of interpersonal difficulty.

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44: Interview with Jeff Fullington

Discussed nature of mental health work, autism, seeing people as wholes rather than parts, and learning to experience life through different understandings of social influence.

  Links for Jeff: Twitter: @primalhex

Email: [email protected]

  Links for show:

Twitter: @lifeweavings

Humanity's Values

Life Weavings, LLC

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43: Interview with Juan Lee

Juan Lee is an author and teacher on the powerful principle of love. Raised within the Christian church, Juan has turned to teachings about love over the years to find strength, understanding and hope.

  As a child, Juan was the youngest of four children raised by a single father. Juan struggled with an undiagnosed learning disability that made school difficult. He joined the US Air Force out of high school in hopes just to survive.

    Juan Lee | the Author (juanleetheauthor.com)

  Juan Lee, Author | Facebook

  Love Made Simple: A Guide to Inner Peace, Contentment, and Success

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  For more information, please check out the website for Humanity's Values, and you can check out the website and Facebook page for Life Weavings, LLC for blogs and other resources.

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42 - 3 Things to Know Before Entering Therapy

Interview with Bryan Nixon, a therapist at and founder of Mindful Counseling GR in Grand Rapids, MI. Here we discuss therapeutic modality and the relationship with the client. Things to consider:

1. Philosophy of the therapist

2. Therapist idea of therapeutic relationship with client

3. Therapist dedication to continued education and self-inquiry

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Why in the World Podcast

  Why in the World IG

  Relationally Focused Psychodynamic Therapy (RFPT) - A postgrad continuing ed program for therapists to deepen their work with clients

  Mindful Counseling GR

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  For more information, please check out the website for Humanity's Values, and you can check out the website and Facebook page for Life Weavings, LLC for blogs and other resources.

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41 - How We Can Deepen Intimacy and Why It's Important

We've been exploring habits and steps for building and maintaining healthy relationships. Here we continue that journey by looking at intimacy and its connection to authenticity. We can learn to express different parts of ourselves in different situations and through different relationships, by building the space for honestly reflecting on whether the person you're showing up as is the person you want to explore becoming. The answer might surprise you.

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  For more information, please check out the website for Humanity's Values, and you can check out the website and Facebook page for Life Weavings, LLC for blogs and other resources.

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40 - Healthy Communication: 4 Steps to a Strong Relationship

Exploring the work of John and Julie Gottman on the "4 Horsemen" of relationship communication errors and working through steps to build healthy connections for personal and relationship growth. We work through four steps beginning with identifying what you Value and finishing with applying grace often. Relationships, in all levels of intimacy, are fruitful spaces for expanding meaning and finding out new ways of being the best version of yourself you know to be.

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  For more information, please check out the website for Humanity's Values, and you can check out the website and Facebook page for Life Weavings, LLC for blogs and other resources.

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39 - 3 Ways to Define Love and Why They Matter

We all know love when we feel it, yet often it's the emotion most connected to confusion and heartache. The confusion and uncertainty, hurt and life search, is largely because while we think we know what love is, we rarely take a hard-stop to ask ourselves what we really mean by it.

  Looking at 3 metaphors about love: "You Complete Me," "Two Become One," and "Being on the Same Journey." Explore the assumptions that come with each, problems that arise, and how each can be supportive of our unmet attachment needs.

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  For more information, please check out the website for Humanity's Values, and you can check out the website and Facebook page for Life Weavings, LLC for blogs and other resources.

Check out this episode!

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38: How to Win: Life is Not a Battle Between Good and Evil

Exploration of the third untruth in Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt in their book "The Coddling of the American Mind." That untruth, "Life is a battle between good people and evil people" will be explained and an alternative truth given, of "Life is a lived experience through many perspectives."  We can encourage dialogue, explore our differences, and grow together through expanding our awareness beyond the limitations our identity labels give us. 

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37: Question Your Feelings, but Don't Dismiss Them

Looking at the "untruth" of "Always trust your feelings" from the book "The Coddling of the American Mind" by Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt. In response, I offer an alternative principle to live by, one that is grounded in science and provides a path of resiliency to develop. We look at the difference between "affect" and "feelings" and how the theory of allostasis can help us better understand our emotional lives. 

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Consequences are Inevitable, Learn From Them

As noted by Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt in their book "The Coddling of the American Mind," there is an untruth of "what doesn't kill you makes you weaker." To that, we will instead embrace a deeper appreciation for how our brain/body system works within experience to prepare us for an uncertain future. Ultimately we can learn to accept and even desire to build a capacity for seeing errors and mistakes and consequences as spaces for growth. 

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Why Hate Feels So Good and What to Do About It

An exploration of hatred within an understanding of our very human need to shape reality to suit our vision of what we believe it to be or should be, and seeing then how anything that gets in the way of that vision invokes our passions. 

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Election Thoughts 2020

Democracy is a Value-based interpersonal construct for guiding human behavior. As such, democracy exists at the intersection of humanity's greatest potential and all our foibles. We can aspire to be the best versions of ourselves that we know to be, but it requires an active engagement, both on the ground through action and also through mindful reflection. Here we explore voting through the Relational-ACT lens of Values, Narratives, and Behavior to see why there's so much emotional weight to this time in history.

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Self-Care Instead of Self-Harm

Working through the stories that bring us down, that make it difficult to cope with adversity. Exploring three basic truths concerning how we deal with consequences, create meaning/purpose and learn to accept our feelings without having them be the only truth that matters. 

References "Coddling of the American Mind" by Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt.

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Accepting and Rebounding from Failure

Looking at failure, it's inevitability in our lives and how you can accept, learn from and not define the whole of who you are by it. Will tie the nature of failure to last episode's discussion of behavior and go over six steps to working through the difficulty of failing. 

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Finding Values in Every Behavior

Ever wondered what behavior was all about? Here we explore Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) through the relational structure of Values - Narrative - Behavior. We'll be challenging the usual understanding of behavior for one that takes into consideration the nature of our predictive brains and our deep need to construct a reality that works for us and makes sense. 

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Pathologizing Human Behavior

Our desire for simple answers is funneled through the intrinsic psychology of having the stories of our lives be consistent. This consistency is always self-serving, in the sense of providing a feeling of 'being right,' of having perception prove the truth of our judgments. This whole process finds a troubling outlet in the medicalization of our inner worlds and the pathologizing of human behavior.

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You Are Not the Sum of Your Parts

You Are Not the Sum of Your Parts. Perspective matters because it allows us to move from stuck-ness to growth.

When I was a kid there was a toy I loved, a kaleidoscope of sorts, where you looked in one end and by turning the other end, sifted grains of multi-colored sand to make different patterns. You couldn’t add any new grains, you couldn’t change the colors. The only thing you could do was change the speed with which you turned the one end. We have a tendency, as human beings, to attempt isolating one…

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