[lighterthanairs-blog]

About my future dog

I'm shit scared I'm going to train him wrong. What if he ends up a compleat mess you can't walk. What.if he eats everything I own. I'm so scared and excited to get a dog. I've never had one. I've trained my rabbits to be very well behaved pets, they even listen to me when I tell them to stop doing something. My rabbits would be good dogs but there is so much more to training an actual dog. They are way smarter and figure out complex pattens. They have strong emotions compared to rabbits, not that I think rabbits are dumb or emotionless, they are anything but. I'm also scared of five am walks with a puppy that doesn't yet know how to walk on leash. I would have to be patient and up in my game at five am to train my puppy in freezing cold.

These are some things I am worried of. But I really do want a dog. I just hope I wont be a shit owner.

[lighterthanairs-blog]

You know what's fucked up?

I study to become a chef. My life will spin around making food for others, hell it already does. I know about proper nutrition more than on basic level. And while I write down about how important it is to eat properly my own hands shake and I'm freezing because I haven't eaten in last 20 hours and I've been staying alive on basically just coffee for a week now.

[lighterthanairs-blog]

Today was the first time my body stopped me from overeating. I ate a salad and a bread that I left half of. We had cake and thought I should have some so I took a piece. I could only take few spoonfuls before I felt nauseous and had to throw rest away.

Next time I eat something is around 7pm. I could maybe step around it by staying out of home and saying I ate so much at school I couldn't bare another bite. If I have to eat I'll just have tea and a rice cake. I ate maybe around 300 - 400 calories. Salad was small but had seeds and sauce on it. Same with the bred.

I feel like I could throw up. My stomach is upset from the food.

[lighterthanairs-blog]

Cooooomeee on fifty five. 55kg.

Maybe tomorrow.

[lighterthanairs-blog]

I want the number on the scale to go down and never come back up.

[lighterthanairs-blog]

Fuck drugs, alcohol and cigarettes. Starvation is my high.

[lighterthanairs-blog]

At the cafeteria everyone sitting there eating their food and what do I do? Sit there eating tuna straight from the can with a bottle of water. But I feel greatful that I got invited into their group even tough I don't talk or eat. Blessed to have nice class mates! I've had my fair share of shitheads in my years of studying.

I'm doing extremely restricted 3 days since I ate a shit ton this weekend. I crave to be cold and shaking from hunger, get dizzy from smoking a cigarette and feel the hunger burning again. Today I had no breakfast, only coffee. Then this can of tuna I didn't finish with a piece of brown bread with seeds on it.

I stopped counting calories a week ago because it stresses me out. I just keep my portions small and try to eat maximum of 3 times a day. If I counted I would only trigger myself to eat more because I feel like shit for eating over 600 calories a day. I lost 1kg last week after all doing what I do now and I'm much more satisfied.

[lighterthanairs-blog]

Me after a binge

[oneskinnybitch]

Reblog if you’ve actually weighed yourself after peeing.

[sincerely--al]

why is it that so many “why u should recover” posts say “u will lose ur tits!!” like isn’t that just encouraging trans men with eds???

[fxkngdisaster-blog]

or girls who hate their chest

[lighterthanairs-blog]

Trans me with ed: It is.

[lighterthanairs-blog]

The pictures will not do this justice.

I'm really proud of myself. I've kept on track and restricted successfully for nearly a week without a "real meal" or a binge. I've lost 1,5kg so far. A real change has happened. I wore a pair of my older boxers and they kept slipping down my hips and being over all uncomfortable. Then I looked myself in the mirror and I could see my ribs being more prominent than before. I still have ways to go but I'm loving these small victories!

[lighterthanairs-blog]

Stand when ever possible.

Like no. Let me sit when ever possible. I'm tired of standing.

[lighterthanairs-blog]

I've changed my goal weights. My first goal is to get to 52kg (I am now 57kg so five kg to drop - I used to be 63kg) next goal and my ugw for now is 47kg. I would be considered slightly underweight but not sickly underweight and that's where I want to get.

My girlfriend was actually 48 kg at one point and she is the same height as I am. Saddest thing is that I use her as some sick kind of thinspo. Since she started living with me I think she has gained at leats a little bit witch makes me happy~

[lighterthanairs-blog]

I have these work pants that used to not fit me. They were like way too small, at least by one size. You know those pants? We all have a pair of some pants that do not fit.

Well... i've dropped 10lbs going on 11-12 now and they fit like a dream. Little too short but at least my fat things and massive but now fit in!

[brynwrites]

Writing Relationships: Hate to Love.

These types of relationships can be some of the most interesting and enjoyable, both to read and write, because they show us many sides of the same characters and the growth from a hatred to mixed feelings and finally to genuine love and acceptance is often heartwarming to experience. But relationships like also require finesse to portray in a believable, healthy manner.

Before we begin, some ground rules: 

1. Stay away from abuse.

A hate to love relationship is not an “abuse to love” relationship, and none of these tips are aimed toward writing such a thing. Check this list for things to keep out of your healthy end-game relationships.

2. These characters need to be ‘ship-able’ already!

If your character would not naturally end up in the end-game relationship, you’ve got a problem. The character’s ability to be friends – shared interests, enjoyment of each other’s company, comparability in communication – is crucial for the transition from hate to love.

Now then, how do we set up this hate to love relationship? 

1. Examine why the characters hate each other.

There’s a slew of different reasons two characters might start out hating each other, including (but certainly not limited to):

They come from opposing sides of a war, feud, or have some other group-oriented dislike.

They have very bad first impressions of each other.

They already hold distasteful misconceptions about each other based on what trusted companions have told them.

One (or both) of them are acting or believing something the other has good reason to hate. 

In order to pull off the first part of the relationship – the hate – you have to both have a reason for the characters to hate each other and convince the reader that the reason is a good reason. 

Unless you’re writing in omnipresent, you’re telling the story through your character’s eyes. No matter how good their current ‘enemy’ may be on the inside, the pov character won’t be looking for that goodness. They’ll see all the flaws and turn offs they anticipate the character to have, and this will likely (hopefully) effect them on an emotional level the reader can connect with.

2. What needs to change for this hate to be repealed?

Keep reading

[lighterthanairs-blog]

Hundred and twenty six pounds! Woop I dropped another! I was sure I'm going to gain from all the chocolate I've been eating but evidently I've hardly eaten anything else. Lets count this still as a success.

Also! One of my favourite fursuitmakers accepted my commission! This is a good day.

[brynwrites]

Writing Romantic Relationships

(Even when you have little experience to go off of.)

@dominiquefourie asked:

So I’m writing a story (as I’m sure most of us are) and while it’s not a romance story there is a strong relationship thread that’s needed to pull the story forward, only thing is, I’ve never strictly been in a relationship - tv/books have shown me what relationships looks like, but how can I write about one without knowing what it feels like?? Thanks

Hey, Dominique! I have to admit upfront, I’ve never ‘strictly’ been in a relationship either. But neither have I fought in a war, or raised a kid, or held clandestine negotiations with rebels, or built a brace for a paralyzed merperson, or ridden a dragon, or experienced the death of a best friend. 

Lucky for us, the same techniques which help us understand and write a variety of things we’ve never experienced before will generally work for romance as well:

Research. A good old internet search can be a great substitute for experience, especially if you’re dedicated to finding good sources.

Relate. Think of similar actions, emotions, and situations which you have experienced, and draw from those. Even if it’s not the exact circumstance you’re writing, there is always overlap.

Pseudo-Experience. Your imagination, combined with the human capacity for empathy, can give a lot more insight then you might think. It’s still not the real thing, but after you’ve done the research, the final step is to put yourself in the person’s shoes, at least in your mind. 

You should certainly do your own digging into romance and relationships, but here are a few pointers to start with…

Five tips on writing romantic couples:

Keep reading