I'm Ugly and I'm Proud @lightsandshining - Tumblr Blog

Asexual

is the superior gender

When your 12 year old brother gets in trouble for falcon kicking your stepdad

Pretty sure the coffee tastes the same no matter what cup it’s in, but that’s just a theory

Thanksgiving is pretty much the middle child of holidays

Band teacher: I got Fallout 4 in the mail. I guess it’s time to say goodbye to my girlfriend for a couple of days.

Me: *is talking to six year old brother* What are you going to do when you are too big for me to carry?

Brother: *Thinks for a moment* Then I’ll carry you!

Me: I’m going to the gas station to get a pop

Me: *comes back with Reese’s Pieces, chocolate chip cookies, and a latte*

BURN ALL THE BABIES!

Me: It’s okay, Stupid.

Friend: Don’t call me stupid. It hurts my feelings.

Me: What feelings?

Friend: Fair point.

I hope that the next time you eat cereal, the milk dribbles down your chin

I was thinking about asking my cousin/senior picture photographer to photoshop one of my pictures so that I’ll have super powers

Mom: I lived in the country for the first 36 years of my life. I raised chickens, skunks, pigs-

Me: Yeah. And we all turned out pretty well.

I went all day today thinking it was Tuesday and I was like “Oh good I’m off work tomorrow” but nope

Kill Jack. Kill Jack, kill Jack, kill Jack, kill Jack, kill Jack.

A poem by Tiny Tina

Me: Weren’t you Mario for Halloween once?

Older brother: I still am on the inside... *looks towards window dramatically*

I tried to explain my anxiety to someone tonight, but I just ended up nauseous so I left

I'm Ugly and I'm Proud