Creating Oneself

Hi there, I bet you're lost. Well, you're lucky to find yourself here. This place is a safe space for you to share anything you want, free your thoughts, share your imagination, with a goal to find and create yourself. Welcome to Creating Oneself, I'm Mari and I'm glad to see you here.

[likeaflowerinsun]

Listen to yourself

Here’s a daily reminder to take a pause and listen to what your thoughts are trying to say. Maybe you’re tired, sad, frustrated, or even happy at the moment. The important part is, you’re listening and aware of what you are feeling. It’s not wrong to recognize these emotions, even the overwhelming ones, what matter is that you are not neglecting yourself. Give the self-attention you deserve to focus on your health, what your heart, body, mind, and soul is trying to say to you.

[likeaflowerinsun]

I AM NOT A WHORE. I AM A WOMAN.

Don’t tell me what to do.

Don’t tell me when to do it.

I am my own body, my own soul, my own heart.

I have my own MIND.

I have my own goals, dreams, and life I treasure.

I am made of passion—

 I use it as my fashion and wear it with pride.

Women wants to be a Doctor, a Lawyer, a Pilot, a Teacher, a Police, a LEADER—

Not only a mother. 

We are independent beings just like men.

We are passionate too like men.

We are strong, and can be stronger, like men.

And yes, we are more emotional than men,

That is our natural gift as women— 

To feel, to empathize, and to Love.

I am my own property.

I am not someone’s prized possession.

I am me.

I am smart. 

I am beautiful the way I am.

I am talented.

I am extraordinary.

I AM NOT A WHORE— don’t call me that.

We are not a slave in this society made by men,

And is made for the men.

We are already terrified, unsafe, and terrorized in this shit hole.

Stop pushing women to do what they don’t want to.

You don’t know our basic rights better than we do.

So don’t tell me what to do.

Because I am not a whore—

I am a human too, like you.

[likeaflowerinsun]

Happy 365th Day of the Year!

Hello! Happy New Year~ I still cannot believe that 2021 is almost over. And it’s crazy to recall and think in retrospect of everything that happened to us within the whole 365 days of our lives. We’ve made it! We’re still here, standing on the last step of the year 2021.

To some, this year must be rough and heavy on the shoulders. Perhaps some of you have been sick or even lost a loved one, had the worst break up, and fall over. But I want to let you know that you deserve a happy new year. A brand new beginning, and new story to write.

Pat yourself on the back, a thousand times. Say, “You’ve done so much.” Kiss yourself, reflection, on the mirror. Remind yourself that, “I’ve been so strong to conquer my fears, this year.” And wrap your warm arms around yourself, a tight hug.. Then say, “This is a wrap for 2021, because I finished another year with love and hope.”

You’re still alive, moving and breathing. Be proud of yourself, you deserve a huge applause for everything you’ve done this year. I am proud of you, keep going!

And before this year ends, let’s reflect for a minute.

What was the most unexpected thing you did this year? And what was the best decision you made?

What new important lesson have you learned this year?

And lastly, Did 2021 make you genuinely smile?

Still the most unexpected thing I did this year was to follow my passion in writing. I started this blog and also I just finished writing my first novel this year. And the best decision I made was trusting myself in every aspect. Trust my intuition, trust the process, and trust my creativity. It was an amazing experience that I will always keep in my heart.

Everyone starts with small steps, and even with small steps, it’ll take you closer to your dream. So keep going, my love!

New important lesson I have learned is that, Self-trust will never betray you (just like practice). It has been a huge challenge for me, because I overthink a lot. I always let my anxious thoughts control me, and let my fears hold me back. But if you start trusting yourself, those fears will vanish like bubbles. It is a powerful weapon to harness, because if you start trusting yourself, everything will follow— confidence and love will blossom, and even success will chase you.

And lastly, 2021 not only made me smile— it made me fall in love and beam. I am talking for myself, because I had a lot of fun and adventures this year. And it made me realize that living in the present is so beautiful, because every single day is memorable and unforgettable.

So ask yourself these few questions, share them with the world, and let the world recognize you. Most importantly, let yourself recognize you before this chapter closes.

Let’s celebrate each other’s triumphs, even from the small ones to the biggest achievement. We all deserve praise and love. I love you guys, and I wish everyone a happy new year!

-Love, Mari.

[likeaflowerinsun]

This is your sign to DRESS UP!

My favorite youtuber once said, “Dress up, Show up and Never give up!” I always put it inside my mind because whenever I feel down, I never give any care of myself. I don’t clean my face, I don’t change my clothes, or even take a shower. I just stay on the same spot- which is my bed- and never move. 

However, if you think of that phase... nothing changes. And if you think that nothing changes, it will even make you feel worse, right? 

Even if you feel terrible, please choose to dress up. Show up on the front of the mirror. Tell yourself to never give up. I guarantee that your spirit will be revived and suddenly, your heart will feel happy. 

Don’t be afraid to show yourself. Don’t stop to express your heart. Don’t let your mind take you down to the wrong idea of the world. 

I hope you find the strength that is within you, fly high my friend. 

Again, “Dress up, Show up and Never give up!” -Alivia D’Andrea

(Photo not mine. Credits to the rightful owner.)

[likeaflowerinsun]

30 days Self-reflective Question Challenge: Complete!

Hello everyone! I am so happy and grateful to be able to finish this challenge. It was an amazing experience for me to share my own stories and to also listen to your stories as well.

I created this challenge because I genuinely enjoy journaling in which I write my own story every day. And I remember how fun it is to also listen to someone else's story. So I decided to create questions where we could feel our emotions; dive deep into our hearts and open our mind to wide imaginations; questions that lead ourselves back to our passion and identity.

It's like visiting yourself in the mirror and observing every detail we have in our body.

I want to thank everyone for inspiring me to push forward. And I am grateful for the love and support that my blog received. It is an honor to listen to everyone's wonderful stories and inspire each other in life.

I also want to thank you @vintageantiqueowl for inspiring me. ❤

My heart is so happy and I can't stop smiling.

I hope everyone enjoys this challenge as I enjoyed it myself, and I hope it helps everyone to know themselves more. I love you guys!

Let's all be healthy and happy! Happy weekends! (♡˙︶˙♡)

[likeaflowerinsun]

30 days Self-reflective Questions Challenge: Day 30

What is the best dream/goal in life you ever had?

Hello friends! We finally reached the final question in this challenge. And I am so happy to achieve this amazing journey with you guys. Thank you so much, but before I give my gratitude, let's focus first on the final question of this challenge.

I decided to put this question at the end, which is the 30th day, because I believe that we mostly remember the last thing that happened to us. Well, it's the first and last we do that usually matters. Hence, we remember it for a much longer period of time.

At the beginning, I asked you, "Who inspires you the most?" for us to be reminded of who or what fuels us to continue our journey. Someone who we admire the most or something that gives us hope.

For this last time, I am asking you about the best dream in life that you ever had. To remind you about your passion, your happiness, and what you want to do with your own life, as a wonderful, talented and unique human being.

Everything is possible, if you believe in what you do and trust the process.

I think for me, the best dream I ever had and I still wish for it to come true in the future, was to be a mother.

A mother, not only for my future-biological child, but someone who is capable of nurturing children in a comfortable home.

I decided to build an orphanage someday. Because I believe that every child deserves a home and family that will take care of them, teach them and make them feel the unconditional love that every parent has for their child.

I want to be there to protect their innocence and give them a life of what a child's experience should be. Not make them feel like an outcast at a very young age. But to treasure and nurture children as they prepare themselves for the world.

I think it's beautiful to see every child enjoy their own life for even a short moment of time. Childhood is short yet it's where life starts.

How about you? What is the best dream you ever had?

[likeaflowerinsun]

30 days Self-reflective Questions Challenge: Day 29

Who is someone you are grateful for?

We're almost over my friends! Only 1 more question to go, and our 30 days will be complete. I am so happy to finish it with you guys. Thank you so much!

Today's question is a very exciting one. While I was making the questions, I could help to think of this one person who made me feel so special. And in some way, I want to write about this person hence, having this challenge where I can include her in my entries.

Our question for today is for someone who made us feel special or simply grateful to be part of our journey.

To my precious friend, Jhenryl, who is silently supporting me in this project, Thank you.

Her gentleness, honesty and motherly-figure, which made me feel at home, is the most precious thing in this world that I ever want to treasure.

Sometimes, I want to cry whenever I remember myself breaking, and she was there for me to get fixed. She is always there to listen to my stories and I admire her patience towards my weird ass. She isn't aggressive but gentle. She doesn't like to be loud but silent— and yet she creates a great impact in the lives of people that surround her.

I hope she realizes it herself— of how beautiful, kind, deserving of love and success— my friend, Jhen.

I never got to express how grateful I am to be her friend. But I am so blessed to have her. Jhenryl is my friend, our second mother and sister. And She is a woman of integrity and love, and I respect her for all of that.

How about you? Who is someone you are grateful for?

[likeaflowerinsun]

30 days Self-reflective Questions Challenge: Day 28

Is there something you want to apologize for?

They say that the past is past, it will never come back. And that, you have to forget and move on from it. There is no such thing as past and future, only the present exists. I've come to realize that it was true. No one is living in the past nor the future, we are all in the present.

But to be honest, I am still haunted by my past. Because I think only those who forget the past are people who already choose to forgive or forget. Deep in the night, I still think of my past self for being immature and insecure of myself.

I was too young and naive to think that I was someone special but I am not. I was an immature girl who created drama in the lives of people I've encountered.

I was so insecure of myself, I lacked so much self-esteem and confidence. I am so frustrated that's why I end up giving up on myself and instead release too much negativity to people.

I was that kind of person before. And I want to apologize for it. I am not ashamed of that past and I choose to share it because I've learned so much from this experience. I was too naive and immature to take on the world. And I hurt a lot of people. I've broken a lot of trust and friendships because I thought I was not worthy enough to be someone's friend. I kept pushing people away from my life and it became harmful to both parties.

To be honest, I was a very negative person before that it became a poison to myself.

I just realize now who I was before. And I want to apologize for the people I've hurt in the past. Those who were affected by my hurtful actions in the past.

I've learned that self-sabotage doesn't only affect you but also the people around you. And you will not realize that you have hurt someone until you stop doing it. When you step out from yourself for a minute, you will also see what's happening outside yourself that is so painful and scary.

I choose to let go of my past and forgive myself for what I've done. It was nobody's fault but a choice that I didn't know I was making. I am now letting go and choosing to move on from that burden I've kept inside me.

How about you? Is there something you want to apologize for?

[likeaflowerinsun]

30 days Self-reflective Questions Challenge Day 27

Encourage yourself today.

I feel like we all been through a lot this week, perhaps it drained our energy. There were a lot of silent battles that had happened, challenges that we wanted to face and to win.

If you see this post, I want you to take a pause, a moment to feel yourself and reflect on what you want to happen. I want you to encourage yourself today, this moment, right now.

Let's do it.

[likeaflowerinsun]

30 days Self-reflective Questions Challenge: Day 26

What is your favorite Self-care routine?

Only 4 days left before we complete the whole challenge. I still cannot believe that we are almost done with the whole 30 days. Isn't this exciting? For me, it will be my huge achievement of the year. I am glad to do it with you guys!

Today, we have a very simple question. I hope everyone has their own self-care routine. It doesn't need to be so fancy, even just brushing your teeth or eating breakfast in the morning is a self-care routine.

Remember how good it feels when you wash your hair? When you hydrate yourself? When you go outside to feel the sunlight touch your skin and let the wind take you away? For me, those are beautiful ways to relax yourself and feel alive for a moment.

Everyday I write in my journal. And it is embarrassing to confess but I have an addiction to notebooks. I have a lot of notebooks each with a different purpose. Well, actually I don't write every day, but I have two special ones to write about everyday.

It is of course my favorite self-care routine along with stretching my body every morning and before I go to bed. Before I write, I stretch my whole body first and then I proceed to write, in the morning and at night.

I love how stretching makes me calm. I put a lot of attention on feeling my limbs being stretched while listening to my bones cracking. It's sometimes weird but I feel so good. It makes me centered to myself while you feel true heaven (you're not going to die from stretching I promise).

Meanwhile, writing always makes me feel free even without moving from a place. It's liberating and there is nothing that will hold you back from giving yourself all-out. Even from the simplest thought you have, like "I wonder how it feels to be a rock?" to the craziest and unbelievable. There's someone who will listen to you non-stop— and it's your notebook. It will not judge you but only listen and comfort you.

Remember, Self-care routine doesn't need to be fancy to make yourself care. What matters is how it makes you feel when you do it. Does it make you clean, happy, loved, relaxed or excited? A routine that you do where you can find yourself being you.

Happy Sunday, Everyone~ Let me know about your favorite self-routine!

[likeaflowerinsun]

30 days Self-reflective Questions Challenge: Day 25

What can you give to someone without expecting a return?

Before I go to sleep, sometimes I think of what happened throughout the day, which I think is pretty normal to some. And like I mentioned, I never let a day pass by without learning something or simply just knowing better than before.

I asked myself one night, while holding the last piece of my attention before letting my mind rest, "What is something I could do for someone willingly?" "Can I provide something in this world without people wondering if I was being genuine or not?" Since then, my own question never left my mind.

To be honest, I think that I was a selfish person. Because I built a wall around me, where I could be away from the people, from the world. I hid myself away and I didn't realize that at some point, I was being selfish. Not because I choose to protect myself. But the truth is that I was just scared from being hurt.

In my opinion, It's okay to protect yourself and choose yourself. Give yourself time to heal and wonder along the walls you build. Find yourself and start building yourself again from the bottom. However, do not shut down yourself from the world. Never forget that there is still goodness and adventure beyond the walls. Because the real challenge doesn’t start unless you jump outside your comfort zone.

Open and reconnect.

It was hard to open up again and reconnect yourself to the world because you're afraid. It was hard to give something with an open heart when you're afraid— afraid of not being enough. But remember, You are always enough. And realizing that you can give something is already enough to prove your worth.

From the bottom of my heart, I found my answer to my own question. I believe that wisdom is one of the magnificent treasures in this world because it is found from our own experiences. And our experiences may be the same but the wisdom from each person is different.

It must be simple but, I can share my own wisdom without expecting any return.

How about you? What can you share with someone?

[likeaflowerinsun]

30 days Self-reflective Questions Challenge: Day 24

WHO IS SOMEONE YOU REALLY ADMIRE? WHAT TRAITS OF THEM YOU WANT TO HAVE?

I’m sure that you have a person that you really admire. Not only because of their physical appearance but because of their heart and passion. And someday, you want to be just like them, that is how wonderful that person is. 

My father always tells me stories about her, and how she died without justice. Whenever he shares stories about her, I can see how he admires her yet the pain in my father’s eyes are present. He told me that the whole world was devastated when they heard the news that she passed away.

 At first, I didn’t know her but I always admire how beautiful her name is. Upon researching and knowing her story, I then figure out how her name suits her so much. Because she was a brave and strong woman- a protector. 

Rest in peace, Lady Diana Spencer, Princess of Wales. 

An icon, a humanitarian, a mother, a lady who deserves more.

Someday, I want to be like her. I want to have the same bravery Princess Diana has. Despite all the challenges she faced, the princess held her chin up and showed the world her true self. She was not afraid of anyone. She was clever enough to play through someone’s game and definitely knows how to come back.

Princess Diana opened her heart to the people and showed empathy and comfort that the world needs. Indeed, she deserves to be admired by everyone. I respect her integrity and passion towards the people. She is my role model and I am glad to know Lady Diana Spencer has a heart of gold.  

How about you? Who do you admire? 

[likeaflowerinsun]

30 days Self-reflective Questions Challenge: Day 23

Give advice that you want people to know.

I want everyone to be reminded that wherever you go and what situation you encounter... Always and never forget to have empathy towards the people you meet. Stories are not only one-sided, it has two or more that you need to hear first. 

Try to put yourself in someone’s shoes before making a judgement. Because you don’t know what he/she might be going through. Share your empathy to people who need support and comfort. 

I hope this helps you, my friend. :) 

How about you? What advice do you want to share? Let’s help each other out.

[likeaflowerinsun]

30 days Self-reflective Questions Challenge: Day 22

What new skill do you want to learn?

I always enjoy learning new hobbies or skills. In fact, I have a lot of hobbies and sometimes it's awkward when someone asks me about my hobbies. Well, I don't know how to answer it because I have a lot— it all includes writing, drawing, sewing, playing instruments, cleaning/organizing photography, making videos or designing and more. But the crazy part of having a lot of hobbies is that I am not an expert in any of them.

I just enjoy learning something new because it excites me when I get to learn new knowledge. I don't know a lot of things in this world and learning something gives value to my life. That's why I always tell myself that I shouldn't let any day pass by without learning something. And everyday I write a lesson that I've learned from someone or from any situation that occured.

There is one skill that I really hope I learn but it's too hard when you do it alone. And It is to learn a new language. I think it's amazing to learn a new language, to be able to speak and write, to be able to communicate with people from different cultures. It's wonderful to do those.

I am grateful to know something from the English language. Because when I was young, I grew up watching cartoons and Hollywood movies. It helped me a lot when it came to improving my english. And as I grow, I enjoy reading english novels because not only it helps my imagination but it expands my vocabulary too.

I do hope I could pursue this skill because it would be an amazing achievement for me.

How about you? What new skill do you want to learn?

[likeaflowerinsun]

30 days Self-reflective Questions Challenge: Day 21

What will make you truly happy

Hello friends! How was everyone's weekend? I just realized that June will end soon, we're finally getting to July. I cannot believe how time flies so fast, one day we'll be all surprised that it's already a new year. Wow, I think I'm overreacting haha but that's just how time is, right?

I'm thinking about these past months that brought me different challenges and it left me with a bunch of lessons where I had to plant deeply in my heart and my mind.

I've found my happiness— an achievement that I did not think I would unlock so soon. Perhaps, I just ignored it before. Because I was so scared to challenge myself. But pushing through scary storms would lead to a calm sea where you could take a deep breath and enjoy the genuine moment.

Everyone has their own source of happiness. And I believe that sometimes we get the happiness we want from something we lack. And there are times where we get happiness from sweet moments that we genuinely appreciate.

But what would make you truly happy? What would be your solid source of happiness that cannot be taken from you?

For me, it's simply just being myself— following your passion and fashion. Knowing that people do not care about what you do with your life. It's somewhat comforting to go follow your dreams. Because I've learned that doing things the way you like will never let you down. Explore new things, reconnect to yourself, create new art— everything done by yourself without thinking about people's judgement.

While you have the time to walk upon this earth, make every single step count with love and gratitude; authenticity and confidence, and enjoy everything before it lasts.

It's easier said than done, but you don't have to be scared to try. Because if you're too scared to try then you won't even know how it feels to be free.

Remember, Life is short and the world is wide. Make some memories. (That's a quote from Mamma Mia 2: Here we go again btw. Haha)

So how about you? What will make you truly happy?

[likeaflowerinsun]

30 days Self-reflective Questions Challenge: Day 20

Do you love yourself?

It took me years to figure out my own answer for this question, not only this day I’ve asked myself but for a long time. And I have to go through a lot of phases before I truly understand the concept of self-love. Why is it so hard to love ourselves? And why do we have to cry all night just thinking that we are such hopeless people? 

To be honest, I struggle a lot when it comes to loving myself. When I was a child all I knew about life was all sugar, spice and everything nice because those cartoons made me believe. I did not think that life would open doors that would lead me to a lot of paths with different challenges. Hence, leading me to a path where I could see the reflection of me. So this was reality. 

This path made me realize that I was nothing but a little girl. And so I harshly judge myself. I realize now that back then, I was living in a small space where all I could hear was nothing but myself talking so negatively, that even a deaf could hear it. 

I destroyed myself. 

But there are moments where we stand and build a castle. Yet, we don’t know until when that castle will stand on its own without us counting the seconds, minutes and days. Not us expecting its own downfall. It’s painful to see what we established was falling apart.

We ourselves are soldiers that need to protect the queen, but we cannot do anything when the enemy is already inside. 

I don’t know a lot of things in this world. But I do know some things that I can share, hopefully will help to make you realize that you are more than what you think you are. This was my only weapon that I’ve built myself and it truly made me understand more than I could ever imagine myself.

Believe that We are HUMANS.

I’m a human. You’re a human. And a Human is someone who is not perfect but capable enough to see the wonder in this world. It is someone with a heart and brain, bones and skin, it is fragile and sensitive. A human can’t do everything simultaneously yet it can move to do something creative and beautiful.

I’ve learned that a human has emotions. They cry when they feel pain and anger. They laugh when there’s something that makes them happy and smile when there’s hope- Humans feel things.

Humans don’t know everything and it takes a lot of practice and awareness before they could do something professionally. That’s why, it’s okay to fail and make mistakes. It’s okay to start over and over again, there is no race.

And I do not have to compare myself to other people, because they do not even care. Humans are only focused on themselves and a spare of 10 minutes of attention from them will not even register to their own brain. So why should I care? 

I’ve been through a lot. You’ve been through a lot. Yet, we are still standing here strong, while carrying scars from the battles we’ve fought. Because I remember that Humans do not give up easily. Isn’t it a beautiful reason to appreciate ourselves? To realize that we are fearless and indestructible? Powerful enough to control our own life.

I love myself now that I’ve realized that I am just a little human girl. I found my value in the power of simplicity and to let that sink in me, I realize that I was wonderfully made, and that I should love myself because no one could ever make me feel this love but myself only. 

How about you? Do you love yourself?

[likeaflowerinsun]

Hi, I found your blog a few weeks ago in the awae tag. Ever since then when one of your posts pop up, I stop and think about my answer. It gives me a moment to recenter myself and take a breath, especially when I’m too lost in my thoughts.

You are doing so good and you’ve touched my life, so just know that people do see you and appreciate all the dedication and love you’ve put into this blog. And even if you feel like you haven’t changed the world, you’ve changed mine <3

Hi, Thank you very much! You made my day, I was literally crying when I read your message. You made me so happy today, I am truly grateful.

I will continue to write, and open my heart so I could reach more people and hopefully touch their heart too. You are the reason why I love sharing stories and why I continue to write. Thank you very much! Let's continue explore this world and know ourselves in this journey together. *hugs* :)