helen of troy does countertop dancing

[cyborgsmanifesto]

dealing with the worst case scenario

your condom breaks

you feel a lump on your breast

your friends are ignoring you

you’re stranded on an island 

you got rejected by a crush

you get into a car accident

you got stung by a bee/wasp

you got fired from your job

you’re in an earthquake

your tattoo gets infected

your house is on fire

you’re lost in the woods

you get arrested abroad

you get robbed

your partner cheated on you

you’re on a ship that’s sinking

you fall into ice

you’re stuck in an elevator

you hit a deer with your car

you have food poisoning

your pet passed away

you fall off of a horse

you or your friend has alcohol poisoning

you have toxic shock syndrome

your house has a gas leak

[4velitta4]

I feel like this could be useful in my future

[astrologypixies-deactivated2016]

REBLOG THIS. I CANNOT STRESS HOW IMPORTANT THIS GUIDES ARE, BOOST THIS SHIT

[sciencescribbler]

THIS IS SUCH A USEFUL LIST OMFG

[noctomania]

Ill be sure to look this up when im on a ship that is sinking. Because ill have time.

[livefromphilly]

[thewordy]

Love Letter From A Mathematician

Kolmogorov’s axioms of probability suggest that the probability of  a coin landing on either heads or tails is 1, but that the possibility of it landing on neither heads nor tails, is 0. Either I would have met you, or I would never have met you. If I met you, I would have loved you. If I did not meet you, I would not have loved you. I find myself, contrary to all reasonableness, wishing for an outcome in which neither of these events occurred or did not occur. I postulate that the probability that I would be able to heal our relationship is unfeasibly small.  In the event that I could heal our relationship, the probability that I would be able to reverse the inexorable progression of time is 0. And yet, I imagine myself defying logic, forever watching, suspended in time, your hair lit by the bar lamps until it appeared to me like a corona. I imagine Probability, against all the rules of probability, as a little demon, one whose life I extinguished long ago so that we could be together in every iteration of the world, every what-if, every universe in which every possible event that occurred was only me loving you.

[urbnite]

[memewhore]

[havegotthatglitteronmyeyes]

[motherlegba]

[igxbaddies]

[gifsboom]

Kiss cam

[thisiscitylab]

When Sesame Street returns on Saturday, expect to hear a lot of G-words. The gang all got new digs, and goodness gracious, they’re gorgeous. Growth is great! But gosh, these guys are going gonzo. For this season, the first following the show’s move to HBO, Sesame Street is being brought to you buy the letter “G”—G as in gentrification.

Elmo, for example, has moved on up to 123 Sesame Street, the brownstone at the corner of their particular intersection in New York City. (Leading theories place Sesame Street in Queens, East Harlem, and at 64th and Broadway.) This historic brownstone would seem to be a great spot, adjacent to an (impossible)A, B, 1, and 2 stop and lots of retail.

How did Elmo afford it? Sure, he’s got a high-profile Times Square job and all. But I’d peg Elmo as a high-earner-not-rich-yet renter. Maybe Bert and Ernie finally bought the building together and have split it into rental units. If Elmo’s smart and he did buy—if he could afford the down payment, unlike so many Millennials—then he bought while interest rates were still at all-time lows.

Oscar the Grouch Lives in a Recycling Bin Now

[Photo: Sesame Workshop]

[20aliens-deactivated20200625]

I have a beard. It doesn't change the fact that women with hairy armpits are fucking gross. Men don't like that shit.

[antiteen]

im crying

[emmalouthan]

[marxvx-deactivated20170329]

sucks how many people i hear be like “i’m a communist but i don’t like to talk about it because i don’t know enough about it” like if you work for a living you already have like so much more of a right to call yourself a socialist than whatever philosophy grad student is condescending you for not having read Hegel’s complete works

[intoasylum]

drag him dj

[princefaery]

no offence but fuck everyone thats ever hurt you, youre precious and didnt deserve that

[logija-deactivated20160411]

You’re the only proper noun I need

by Hattie Kotz [x]