gold plated

[animentality]

[coldgoldlazarus]

[foldingfittedsheets]

I had this truly awful lady I worked with many years ago. She was rude, callous, and generally pretty unpleasant. She was exceptionally homophobic to my face. She told me incredibly upsetting stories about animal abuse.

But even with all that negative karma I don’t think anyone deserves to have their boyfriend literally die on them while having sex.

Which is what happened to her.

He orgasmed and apparently that ruptured a blood vessel somewhere important can’t remember if it was brain but I think so and he died with his dick still inside her which I’m pretty sure is the kind of thing that should guarantee you free therapy for the rest of your life.

But the craziest part was that she performed CPR and actually managed to restart his bodily function which is absolutely mind boggling. Can you imagine going from mid coitus to life saving procedure? The presence of mind she must have had. It’s bonkers.

Ultimately, he didn’t live. While she’d gotten his body going his brain never resumed function and he passed a few hours later.

But because she’d kept his heart beating he was at the hospital when he died and he was an organ donor. They were able to harvest his organs under ideal conditions. Even though she didn’t save him she did save three or four other people by resuscitating him.

[rbsqp]

[harpieisthecarpie]

i couldn't decide on one reaction image but uh

[foldingfittedsheets]

DO YOU THINK I’M JUST GOING TO LET YOU GET AWAY WITH BEING FUNNIER THAN ME?! Right in front of my salad?!?!?

[kaylmao]

just blocked someone for not liking purple. do not fuck with me

[okthatsgreat]

why are scissors packaged the way they are it’s like they’re taunting us. Oh wow this is such a difficult awful packaging to get through that seems to cause physical damage to your hands as some sort of sick self defense mechanic, if only i had something to help get through it, something sharp perhaps

[okthatsgreat]

what sort of sick twisted game is it trying to play here

[okthatsgreat]

LEAVE ME ALONE

[theswisscheeserag]

“I hate school I’m sorry Malala”- Funny yet poignant. Acknowledges both the difficulty of the task and the fact that doing that task is a privilege. Gives credit to the people who fought for that privilege with a tongue in cheek acknowledgement of the irony of the initial statement

“I’m just a girl I should be home baking bread not doing calculus” - at best historically uninformed at worst leaps decades back in time. Refusal to acknowledge the charged history of education and slights the centuries of women’s labor it took to reach this point

[tim-official]

quick update. I've decided to also blockade the strait of Hormuz. so when you talk about the status of the strait please say that it is blockaded by Iran, the USA, and Timothy. Thanks

[hangingfromchandeliers]

ladies if youre a kpoppie, please occasionally take the time to remind yourself that you are a fan of just some guy

[hiveswap]

ladies if youre into mcyt, please occasionally take the time to remind yourself that you are a fan of just some guy

[hangingfromchandeliers]

ladies?

[hangingfromchandeliers]

minecraft youtubers.

[rabidvampdude]

No one ever expects the spanish ministry of science and technology

[monidoll]

the united states of america is the most repugnant country in the world

[imwritesometimes]

impeachment isn't enough I think we the people should be allowed to vote a president out too. survivor style. like sorry bud you're behated by all. and then they banish them to a desert island.

[bewbin]

dude honestly shout out to my guards i told them to seize this guy and before i could even finish my sentence they soze him. My goats

[sudaca-swag]

USA patriotism must hit so good when you're stupid

[sudaca-swag]

MY moon, MY Amazon jungle, MY Atlantic ocean, MY Ozone Layer MY grasslands, you're nothing more than a parasitic colonial warmongering village hurting everything and everyone

[zoesupreme]

[diaryoflethargy]

[manuciruja]

ojalá les caiga una bomba encima yanquis de mierda

[datura-inoxia]

Los Yankis ahora le dicen "bot" a toda persona que no esté de acuerdo con ellos. Es increíble como su primera reacción ante todo es deshumanizar al que piensa diferente.

[manuciruja]

when in doubt acusalos de ser un bot ☝️ nunca falla

[catstratfords]

is beacon hills literally just a high school, a hospital, and abandoned buildings???

[ivy-afterglow]

they went bowling that one time

[aconitemare]

via @iconuk01

[zaxxongallaxian]

and a video rental store. How else is Lydia supposed to watch the Notebook?

[curlymcclain]

mary magdalene:

[oplishin]

okay but chess terminology is like. you pinned your opponent's hung knight and now you can mate? oh im sure

[oplishin]

OH I'M SURE

[messygoku]

"i can't believe I survived a pandemic and a world War during my lifetime", "my generation is doing tik toks in the middle of a world War 😂😂"

[thebrightestwitchofherage]

Reblogging this as I exist my bomb shelter for the 193849483 time today hits different 🫠

[messygoku]

damn that's crazy. that's what you get for living in occupied palestine lol

[thebrightestwitchofherage]

Oh no! A person who’s actually affected by the issue you made a meme about commented! Imagine posting this and then getting mad when Israelis appear .

Ps- Jews living in their homeland aren’t occupiers, hope this helps. Do you think random nerdy Israelis on tumblr go around and kick Palestinians or something?

[messygoku]

[advanced-passenger-train]

Yes, they literally do that all the time. It's actually their favorite thing.

[ebrithilbowser]

I actually don't think blaming regular people in Israel for the crimes of their government without even knowing if the person in question even voted for this regime is going to help Palestinians or Iranians very much.

[messygoku]

i do. if you are israeli and live in occupied Palestine you deserve to blow up and die

[ebrithilbowser]

That's the same as blaming every white American for the genocide of the natives. People don't chose where they are born.

[messygoku]

im guessing you are not gonna want to hear what I have to say about yanks either lol

[ebrithilbowser]

Nothing constructive I guess

[messygoku]

OH YEAH BABY HELLA CONSTRUCTIVEEEEEEEEE😋😋😋😋😋😋😋😋