lilies of our valley

taya mdni (18+)

[liliesofourvalley]

cigarette smoke | jjk | series masterlist

synopsis | clandestine meetings came with the life he chose.

"you know smoking is bad for you?"

pairing | idol!jungkook x oc

genre | exes(?) to lovers; mature language(18+); yearning; groveling; angst; celebrity life; second chance

one: right where you left me wc: 1.0k

two: seigfried wc: 1.04k

three: normal wc: 1.8k

four: coming soon...

to be continued...

[liliesofourvalley]

OMG i really like eunseo she seems so cute and adorable and i think she has this light feminin energy to her that complement jk's pretty well can i ask her age and what her face claim you have for her in your head if you don't mind ?

i love your initial impression of eunseo! i definitely didn't think she would've been perceived as cute, i just thought she was a silly gal! she is in her undergrad years so i would say she is in her early twenties! given her name, eunseo is korean, but i did want to leave what she looks like to readers' imagination.

[liliesofourvalley]

When is the next update please

the wait is over!!! i hope i don't disappoint

ch. 3

[liliesofourvalley]

cigarette smoke | jjk | three

synopsis | clandestine meetings came with the life he chose.

"you know smoking is bad for you?"

pairing | idol!jungkook x oc

genre | exes(?) to lovers; mature language(18+); yearning; groveling; angst; celebrity life; second chance

wc: 1.8k

previous chapter | series masterlist | next chapter

normal-bts

2022

the atmosphere was loud.

it was a scene that he regularly found himself in. the mingling smell of sweat and alcohol had long since become familiar. more women sat at tables waiting for men to approach them, than on the actual dance floor. men stood across the bar with a practiced indifference, acting like they were too good to be here, despite refusing to leave.

bars were different in korea that the ones he had visited in the west.

over there, people went out to drink and enjoy the company of friends. here it felt like everyone arrived with the same objective—to find someone to leave with before the night was over. jungkook still can't understand when bars became less about having fun and more about finding a one-night stand.

jungkook considered of himself to be a confident man. he never felt the need to impress or chase a women. even so, he wasn't blind. he knew people looked at him. eyes followed him because he simply existed.

he knew he was attractive.

the confidence wasn't arrogance; just a mere acknowledgement of reality.

which is why he finds himself outside the bar with his friends instead.

the cool air was a relief after spending hours inside the suffocating building.

living as a celebrity, while actively trying to experience 'normalcy' was exhausting. every decision came with various precautions inside his head.

don't do anything stupid.

yet here he was, halfway through his second cigarette, exhaling a stream of smoke into the air, shifting his gaze across the street.

a camera.

he was used to cameras.

growing up in front of cameras made it hard for the public to accept he was an adult. having a girlfriend, smoking a cigarette, or having tattoos—any reminder that he lived like a grown man sends the public into a frenzy.

cameras don't wait catch his success. they wait catch his mistakes.

something to document.

something people can judge.

"should you even show off that?" his friends asks." what if someone sees?"

jungkook lowers his gaze to his hand that was holding the cigarette.

"someone already has." jungkook looks back to the camera. exhaling another puff of the cigarette

the person behind the camera seems to be taken aback by jungkook's blunt acknowledgement, and proceeds to leave.

they still got what they wanted.

"must be annoying."

"used to be. i learned to ignore it."

despite ignoring it. it was hard to be dispassionate. especially when he passionately feels. when he has strong emotions. impulsive decisions were the ones that were hard to ignore.

"maybe we should head home. who knows if that person would keep their mouths shut."

jungkook appreciated his friend for looking out for him. his suggestion held truth. the paparazzi knew how to stir up buzz. he was upset that it cut his night out short. he definitely wasn't the type to turn in early for the night.

"did you want a ride?" his friend offers.

"im alright, need a walk anyway."

knowing it's the safest option for him jungkook still declines. he wasn't planning on going home, but he for sure couldn't stay here.

he bids a goodbye to his friends and watches them take off.

he looks at the cigarette he was smoking and noticed it was no longer lit.

he sighs, throws the butt of the ground and crushes it with his foot. he begins to walk away from the bar, slipping his hand into his pocket to reach for his cigarette box.

jungkook tries to understand why the world is deluded into thinking he couldn't a social like, and living like a normal person.

he was so tied down to his career—one that was so big—that no matter how he tried to show he wasn't any different from others, he only got smaller.

just as he slipped out a third cigarette for the night, a voice haulted his actions.

"you know smoking is bad for you?"

the voice was soft.

the comment had seemed to be genuine.

it was obviously a woman.

he turned to where the voice and sees a young women sitting on a bench, staring at the ground. she wore a long skit with a gingham babydoll blouse. her hair was just a couple inches past her shoulders.

she looked like a college student.

it caught him by surprise how someone could be so straightfoward with a stranger. like it was easy.

it somewhat annoyed him.

here's yet another person trying to dictate what he should and shouldn't be doing.

she lifts her head.

her eyes widened as jungkook makes eye contact with her, seemingly because she realized who she was talking to.

his eyes widened too as he saw panic growing across her face.

"oh my gosh, i'm so sorry. i didn't mean—" she begins to ramble.

jungkook remained stunned by her.

"it's just i smelled it and—"

it startles him. he was beginning to understand that this girl had no idea who she was talking to when she gave unsolicited advice.

granted how can one know who they're talking to when their looking down.

a glimmer of warmth travel through his body from the concern of a stranger.

"it's—um, it's alright. no need to freak out." realizing the cigarette box was still in his hand, he shoves it back in his pocket.

"you're jeon jungkook." she murmurs with soft shock, as eyes glued to the ground once more.

"i'm aware."

a chuckle escapes him.

"i should get going." she grabs her bag, and frantically stands up.

"wait, um, why the rush?" he asks. "you're the one that started the conversation."

jungkook gained his composure back after it had wavered the moment he laid eyes on her.

"i thought celebrities don't like it when stangers talk to them." she breathes out. still refusing to look at him.

that confused him.

when did he give the impression that he didn't like talking to people? all he tried to do for years was to get people to see him as a person.

"well, i don't mind, believe it or not." he pauses for a moment. "why don't you tell me why you think smoking is bad?"

standing in front of her, he sees her grimace, and can conclude that was probably directed to herself.

his hands begin to sweat, the reason unbeknownst to him.

taking a seat next on the bench she had just stood up from—relieved this bus stop was slightly secluded, he looks up at her, anticipating an answer.

she swallows, hands tightly wrapped around the straps of her tote bag.

"um. well." jungkook looks at her, endeared by her struggling to speak. "doesn't it, like, kill your lungs or something?"

she finally looks at him. with a confused expression, catching jungkook off guard.

"also, aren't you a singer? don't singers have to take care of their voices?" it almost sounds like she was asking herself those questions.

"thats true." he nods. "it's fun though."

"i don't mean to be rude, but how exactly is it fun? it smells and all you're doing is inhaling smoke."

jungkook is amused. she isn't telling him these thing because she believes he shouldn't be allowed to smoke. it seems more that she simply disagree with the concept of cigarettes.

"you can die, too. oh my goodness, who would want to die just for a little smoke."

her hands flew to her head, as she grabs her hair.

"this is stressing me out."

a simple answer to jungkook's question has turns into a rant entirely directed to herself.

"you seem very passionate about this." jungkook comments.

she freezes once more.

she looks embarrassed about the said passion that had taken over the conversation.

jungkook stands up. straightening out his shirt.

"what's your name?"

usually the interactions he had with stangers were very brief, but this girl had made jungkook forget how upset he was that he had to stop his night early.

"yoon eunseo."

"well, eunseo, nice to meet you. i'm jungkook"

jungkook sticks out his hand for a handshake.

she accepts it.

"i'm aware."

her eyes still wide.

he can only asume now it's from disbelief that the current situation is real.

jungkook laughs.

"it—um—feels like we're going in circles now."

jungkook looks around unsure what to do.

"i usually don't do this, for reasons i assume are obvious, but would you like to hang out some time?"

her face twitches in confusion.

jungkook looks at her processing what he had just asked.

"why would i do that?"

the confused expression remains on her face.

jungkook is baffled yet amused at her response.

he had no words.

call him shallow, but he assumed, given he was a public figure, she would say yes right away.

"i'm sorry?" it was all he could manage to respond. he looks at her with a bemused smile.

"well, i don't know you. i mean, i do. but i don't know you know you." she begins to ramble again. her hand moving as she talks. "why would i hang out with a stranger?"

his fondness for her begins to grow.

she was so animated.

he wonders if she realizes that. it felt weird to be referred to as a stranger. those who do approach him act like they've his friend for years.

"you know, that's why people hang out. " he smiles "to get to know one another."

her face cringes seemingly because she becomes aware of how silly she sounds. jungkook continues, "are you in college or something?"

"yeah, i'm in my third year."

"did you just leave that bar?" jungkook points to the bar he left not too long ago.

"yes, actually, one of the seniors in my major wanted to celebrate his graduation, so he invited us for drinks."

"sounds fun. you never really answered my question."

jungkook watches eunseo's body jerks at his comment. he reaches into his pocket for his phone and extending it to her.

"if you don't mind? i would like to be friends."

was an odd situation he finds himself in. it wasn't everyday he wanted to become a random person's friend.

"okay. sure." she replies softly. reaching for the phone. entering her number. as if it were perfectly timed. the bus arrives as she returns his phone.

"do you have instagram?" he asked before she walks away.

"yeah, but i rarely use it."

"will you let me follow you?"

"sure, i'll let you when you text me." she smiles softly as she begins to walk away.

"talk to you soon." he says watching her enter the bus.

jungkook lets out a breath he didn't realize he was holding.

he just did something risky.

he doesn"t know why he gravitated to her, but, just like that, jungkook made a normal friend.

[liliesofourvalley]

a sneak peak.

[ggukivrse]

THE ART OF PRETENDING ⭑ JJK

summary ༄.° when you and jungkook show up to your much anticipated graduation trip and realise neither of you had the guts to tell your friends about your recent break up, there’s only one thing you can do to keep the trip from falling apart: pretend. but somewhere between fake kisses and real feelings, you start to wonder if letting go was ever the right choice at all.

pairing… jeon jungkook x f!reader

genre/warnings… exes to lovers, fake dating, idiots to lovers, mutual pining, a LOT of angst, fluff, (eventual) explicit sexual content, swearing, alcohol consumption, ft. seokjin, namjoon, hoseok, jimin, taehyung, yoongi + four female ocs, other chapter specific tags

total word count… 48.4k

status… COMPLETED

⌗ masterlist. ⌗ playlist. ⌗ visualiser. ⌗ taglist.

CHAPTERS

00 — teaser ( 1.0k )

01 — the way things go ( 4.9k )

“we dated for four years. what’s one more week gonna do?”

02 — broken cd ( 4.9k )

“yeah. you gave up your right to guess what matters to me.”

03 — ivy ( 5.5k )

“c’mon. i kept you from passing out on the kitchen floor. that’s at least worth a bite.”

04 — halley’s comet ( 5.2k )

“you don’t just— touch me like that anymore.”

05 — anything ( 8.1k )

“i don’t want you to regret anything.” “then make sure i don’t.”

06 — tv ( 4.6k )

“i’m sorry it didn’t mean anything, okay?”

07 — zombie girl ( 7.7k )

“you’re a fucking idiot.”

08 — lover, you should’ve come over ( 7.7k )

“i wasn’t planning to call.”

epilogue — butterfly ( 2.5k )

"i love you more."

written by GGUKIVRSE | ⌗ divider credits.

[liliesofourvalley]

i haven't truly been over this since it ended. tugs at the heart strings in all the ways

[liliesofourvalley]

cigarette smoke | jjk | two

synopsis | clandestine meetings came with the life he chose.

"you know smoking is bad for you?"

pairing | idol!jungkook x oc

genre | exes(?) to lovers; mature language(18+); yearning; groveling; angst; celebrity life; second chance

wc: 1.04k

previous chapter | series masterlist | next chapter

seigfried - frank ocean

vulnerability was something jungkook tried to not make a regular occurrence with fans, which is why right now it was beyond terrifying for him. his brother being beside him as he pressed the live button was somewhat comforting.

the alcohol they had shared left jungkook feeling relaxed. it made turning on the live easier than it would've been if he were sober.

"do you think i should talk about smoking and cigarettes?" jungkook turning to his brother as the comments flooded.

"i don't see why not. it's not like you smoke anymore."

jungkook had a small smile, pulling the lollipop out of his mouth.

"i just don't understand why it's such an issue." he look back to the camera. "i'm almost 30. i want to live the way i want."

he went quiet for a moment, absentmindedly fidgeting with the lollipop stick.

"...i just don't want to miss the things that are precious to me."

he said it as if it was a casual thought he had, yet it carried more weight than a stranger could catch.

the alcohol had loosened him up. and without realizing he began to ramble.

"i want my feelings to be conveyed properly." he laughed sheepishly. "i'm not good with my words like namjoon-hyung though."

after attempting to explain himself further—a feeling that was more complex than one could put into words—he switched to discussing about how great the comeback was coming along. the live dissolved into a karaoke session with his brother. again staying up until sunrise.

it was a good distraction.

when the camera eventually was turned off, his thoughts found her again. there was a time where he desperately searched for anything to stop him from thinking of her. a distraction can only last so long, though.

"what made you decide to let that all out?" his brother asked, sitting next to him on the sofa, cracking open a beer and handing it over to him.

"who knows?" jungkook sighs. "lately it's been harder to keep it all inside." he takes a gulp of the beer.

"keep what in?"

"everything, i guess."

his brother waited.

"i just think..." jungkook swallows. "that since i'm an adult, i should be able to express my emotion without any consequences."

him and his brother sit in silence for a couple of minutes.

"what happened before you enlisted?" his brother asks.

"what are you talking about?" jungkook looks at him.

"it's just—i mean—" his brother was stumbling over his words. " i don't know, this whole 'being open about my feelings' is strange to me. that was really never an approach you took with anyone."

"hyung, i want to be able to hold on to things that seem impossible to keep." jungkook stares at his beer can.

"what are you referring to?"

"the things i say now contradict with the way i treated precious people in the past." jungkook slurs his words, maybe now the alcohol was starting to settle into his blood.

his brother continued to listen to jungkook spewing out his emotions.

"i hurt people that i love."

the confession lingered in the room.

for the first time in the night, neither of them knew what to say.

jungkook woke up with a horrible hangover. he—unfortunately—remembers everything that he admitted to his brother, who was clueless to what it was even about. he wasn't embarrassed, he learned not to be. there was a hope within him—if the opportunity were to arise—that if he were to ever see her again, and make amends, that he could tell a story to his friends and family that was all sunshine and rainbows. that was unrealistic.

it was selfish to want to forget that he chose to walk away. even so, the urge to reach out, or to show up at her door began to grows day by day. it was within reach, one call away. he resistance to the urge coincided with his decision to stick to his words, thats what he deserves.

his brother had left before he fell asleep. jungkook noticed the clock say '5:32', he then realized he slept through the day. sitting up from his bed, he runs his hands over his face.

deciding that he didn't have to energy to cook dinner, and headed out instead. he washes up to help the grogginess subside a little. in the shower, he reflects on the conversation he had with his brother. he blames the alcohol of causing him to be so raw that easily. he had never shared something like that with anyone. of course, jungkook didn't entirely close himself off to the people he was close to, but this topic was one he couldn't share just yet.

by the time jungkook was heading out the door, the sun had began to set.

whenever he needed time to think, jungkook found himself gravitating towards restaurants tucked away in seoul's quieter neighborhoods. he didn't mind being recognized, but sometimes he wanted nothing more but to disappear into crowds.

the restaurant wasn't as busy as he expected.

it was small and unassuming—nothing fancy, just how he liked.

he chose a table facing a wall, with his back towards the entrance and ordered hangover soup without needing to glance at the menu.

it was quiet in the restaurant, the muffled clatter of the dished in the kitchen, while the local evening news played softly from the small television mounted in the corner

the bell above the entrance chimes.

he didn't look up.

someone settles in a table behind him.

"hi sweetheart," the elderly owner greets. "what can i get you?"

"um, can i just get some naengmyeon, please?"

jungkook froze

his chopsticks halfway in his mouth

his heart stumbles.

slowly, against his will, he turns.

her.

her hair longer now, falling down to her waist. she wore exaclty what jungkook would imagine she'd wear—a loose t-shirt tucked into a flowing maxi skirt. resting beside her was her violin and book bag.

she looked real.

for years, she only existed in his memory, yet she was right there. ordering dinner. only a few feet away.

all the time he had spent convincing himself that it was impossible to see her again. she was right there.

and unconsciously—

"eunseo."

[liliesofourvalley]

cigarette smoke | jjk | one

synopsis | clandestine meetings came with the life he chose.

"you know smoking is bad for you?"

pairing | idol!jungkook x oc

genre | exes(?) to lovers; mature language(18+); yearning; groveling; angst; celebrity life; second chance

wc | 1k

series masterlist | next chapter

right where you left me - taylor swift

the echos of his slippers surround his house. his sleep deprived eyes sting as the morning light seeps through the curtains. this was daily, his struggle to sleep—in spite of his work schedule—started to seem like something that was permanent.

he wanted to believe that military life made him steadier, but his nocturnal behavior made him feel adolescent. he would like to believe he was happy. he finished his military obligation, he was back making music with his brothers, and he was now about to start touring, somehow, it wasn't enough.

he sighs, the weight of exhaustion hanging on his neck and shoulders. he looks at the time on the microwave display, he's early—very early. not surprising for someone who stayed awake all night. he had many interviews scheduled for recording today, and here he was sporting eye bags. he decided to ditch the breakfast that was in front of him, and shower to wake him up.

He throws his shirt off as he enters his bathroom turning to look at himself in the mirror. he scans his body, the tattoos covering his right arm and shoulder and the thin chain hanging down his sternum. hanging from was a red gemstone lollipop, nothing loud or extravagant, it's simple yet so beautiful. maybe he thinks so because of the sentiment it holds, after all these years he refuses to take it off and shamelessly lets the world see. its selfish of him. to display something that has consumed him, yet when he had it, he chose to keep it hidden, and refused to admit he wanted it.

it was easy—well, now that he's older, he can recognize that it was easy. he lets every 'i should have' and every 'what if' linger where sleep can't. can he really blame it on his naivety back then? it's not like he was really a kid. he just didn't like the idea of staying in one place.

he brings his hand to the pendant, and his fingers caress it. his head is hurting from the lack of sleep, thinking about his omissions made it more unbearable. his hands reach behind his neck and unhook the chain, he sets it on the counter, he refuses to shower with it and have it be another keepsake that has been tarnished

they're asked the same questions every interview for their american press tours. though excited he's returned to making music, it's boring for him. nothing to get him stay engaged in these schedules, even more now that his is running on no sleep. thankfully, this is a photoshoot for a magazine article. from his experience, the questions tend to be more thought provoking that the podcast interviews they indulge in.

"this question is open to everyone, but i specifically am curious to hear what jungkook has to say" the interviewer snaps him from his spacing out. "what decision would you say altered your life the most?"

the question could be easily answered 'my decision to audition for bighit.' yet that seemed too media trained for his liking. the question was so simple, also different. he could take it in so many directions. there was a brief silence as he thought about his answer.

"thinking that settling meant restricting myself."

it was a vague answer, he knew that. he was also expecting the interviewer to ask him for an elaboration. there was a hope he could avoid it. his members knew exactly what he was doing choosing the word 'settling', its not like they were oblivious to what he was implying.

he feels the way some of his members are looking at him. he sees how namjoon's leg begins to bounce and how jimin was picking at his fingers.

"how so?"

"i tend to want things whether it be career wise, or just life wise yet in doing so, i let myself believe those choices can prevent me from other opportunities in the long run."

jungkook let his media training take the wheel. he wanted those who read the article to interpret what he's implying. and hopefully the right person interprets it the way he intended for his answer to be.

finishing a day of work never felt better, it was certainly because jungkook needed a nap. they enter the room to change out of their endorsed clothing. at the moment jungkook wasn't in the best mood, yet still tried to be an active participant in conversations occurring throughout the room.

"jungkook, do you have an extra shirt?" taehyung asks.

"uh, i think i have one in my backpack. not too sure, though." jungkook was zipping up his sweater.

jungkook was the one the others would go to when they need a basic necessity, considering he carried a somewhat obnoxiously large backpack on the daily.

"hey man, why do you have a bunch of lollipops lying around on the bottom of you bag?" taehyung asks rummaging through the bag.

"i though it was known that i quit smoking, lollipops are supposed to be a good substitute." jungkook's response comes of bored, withdrawn. to his hyungs, it sounded like he didn't want to engage.

"really? says who?" namjoon asks. jungkook sits on the couch in the room, trying to keep consciousness.

"an old friend." jungkook sighs and rests he head on the back of the couch and closes his eyes.

an old friend? jungkook knows very well it wasn't just 'an old friend' and he also knows his hyungs aren't blind to that either. even with that, his brothers choose not to pry more.

being transparent was never for him. despite his public image where his fans can say he wears his heart on his sleeve, it was truly hard for him too. yet here he was being an open book for his hyungs to read.

they know it. without knowing who she was or what even happened. they just know it.

taehyung found the extra shirt beneath a pool of strawberry lollipops. jungkook never remembered buying that many.