btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here
Summary: you have been beating yourself up because your asshole of a mate doesn’t want you anymore. You suspect it is because of how old you are. Then you get invited to a hunting trip and don’t need your mate anymore.
Warnings: cheating, smut, fingering, eating out, p in v, reader has female body, self hatred(?)
author‘s note: I am a virgin. You can probably tell by the bullshit I wrote.
How did you even find yourself in this situation. Well, that is a lie. You know exactly why and how you are in those situation. And sadly, you should know better! After all, you are older!
You had been thirty-five cycles when Hometree fell, when you fought against the sky people and when Jake Suli became Toruk Makto and united the nearby clans. He led you all to victory, and was eventually accepted into the clan as Olo’eyktan.
Your mate, Nimuk, used to be full of love. Ever since Hometree fell, he changed too. He became distant, did not come home as soon as possible anymore and eventually he completely avoided you. You blamed the war, blamed yourself, anyone but him. You became older, surely it was because you’re not exciting to him anymore.
Until you found him at the fire one evening, laughing with a girl of twenty-two cycles. Then it became clear to you, that he simply did not find you beautiful anymore. You began to hate how you look, tried to hide your body and wrinkles and everything that made you look normal.
Your change was not visible to Nimuk, but to the Tsakarem and Olo‘eyktan.
When Neytiri was still a child and Sylwanin was still alive and everything was okay, you used to be her teacher for weaving. Mo‘at would have done it herself but she was simply busy.
You used to sit hours with Neytiri, showing how to properly make a basket with never ending patience. Neytiri used to love you. You were her very first love, though when asked by her sister she would always say she had none.
Once, she swore that she would make you her mate as soon as she is an adult. You laughed then, mistaking it as childish innocence and jokes. You never knew Neytiri meant it and interpreted your laughter as rejection.
When Neytiri was fourteen, you mated with Nimuk. You looked so in love with him that Neytiri backed off. There was no future for you anyway, she was betrothed to Tsu‘tey anyway.
Then came Jake Suli of the Jarhead Clan. You had eyed him with curiosity, laughing when he slipped up at the simplest thing a child could do with no problem.
Jake decided he liked you from the very first moment you laughed softly at one of his stupid jokes. He can’t even remember what it was about, just that you looked wonderful while laughing. He wants to make you laugh every single day from that day on, that’s what he thought.
But when he saw Nimuk take his natural space next to you, he backed off to. Even after he mated with Neytiri and went against everything Mo‘at-and Grace-told him of, he could not forget you.
How could he?
You with your bright eyes, blending smile and graceful stature? You with your wonderful laughter and love towards Eywa? You with simply everything you are! He loves you!
Jake felt incredibly guilty. He loves Neytiri, he truly does. He gave up his entire species for her! Fought against his own species too! But still, he could not forget you.
So one evening, he could not take it anymore. He and Neytiri had been sitting together, her carrying Neteyam and him holding Kiri.
„I love her, Neytiri.“ the words left him hollow because of how guilty he felt. He felt greedy because he wants two people loving him, wants a horde of kids with one and the other.
„You love who?“ Neytiri felt momentarily panic rising. Na‘vi bonds can not be broken. He can not simply fall in love with another person. Eywa can not do this to her! She-
„[Name]. I can’t stop it and I feel so fucking guilty about it. Please Neytiri you must believe me that I love you. Oel ngati kameie, baby. Please believe me.“
Jake was sure he never felt so terrible. Not when Neytiri was mad at him for betraying the clan, not when Tommy died, not when he watched friend after friend die.
Neytiri stilled. Neteyam looked up at his mother in wonder, still too small to understand what is going on.
[Name]? Her [Name]? He, the one man she loves more than life itself, loves you just like she does? Loves every part of you and would spend hours worshipping you?
Oh, the Great Mother must have blessed her!
„It is okay, Jake. I, too, share affection for [Name]. It is not something you must feel guilty about. The People show no fear of who they love. Sometimes, mated pairs take a third or even fourth mate.“
Jake stopped his administration, looking at Neytiri with even bigger eyes than usual. The people take more than one mate? On earth, that was considered a crime. Oh how he loves Eywa‘eveng.
„So…what now? Are we just gonna…tell her or something?“ excitement entered his voice and even he himself could hear it. Maybe he is a little desperate, so what? It’s been two years and he beat himself up so often because of his feelings just to find out they are valid.
„Kehe! We can not! [Name] is happy with Nimuk. I will not destroy such a happy bond.“ her tail lashed once, twice. Her heart clenched but she kept stroking Neteyam‘s back. You were happy, why would she destroy that happiness?
Then, Jake agreed with Neytiri. You were so in love with your mate, why would you ever leave him for them?
Now, fifteen years have passed. Now, you are fifty-two cycles. Not as old as the elders are, but certainly old enough for you to hide yourself behind shawls and cloaks. Nimuk has long left you. Not literally, but physically and emotionally.
If anyone asks why, you would tell them that you do not know why or you say that you and Nimuk are going through a rough time.
That rough time has been going on for years now. Your mate avoids you, distances himself from you every single moment of day and night. The clan has noticed-of course it did. But what are they going to do about it? Nothing.
Jake and Neytiri noticed too. Well, the children noticed it and then proceeded to tell them. And yes, it is obvious.
Fifteen years did not smother their feelings, fifteen years did not erase anything. Your laughter still lives in their hearts, your eyes still shine brighter than any star in the sky.
But your smiles are rare these days. Your laughter does not come easily these days anymore. Neytiri is convinced that it is because of Nimuk, Jake thinks it is because you hide yourself behind your thick cloaks.
Once, he came back from a council meeting when he found the weaving circles. In the biggest sat you, gently weaving what probably is a new cloak. Your back was turned to him and you did not wear a shawl or anything like that.
God, what would he do to get a piece of that ass! Even when he was new in his avatar body, you had that amazing body. Totally different from Neytiri‘s body but still amazing.
You still have that amazing body, just a few more scars he wishes he could adore. He would adore you, worship you, fuck you till you are crying out on his cock!
When an elder woman greeted him, his eyes went back to the weavings. But the picture of your ass is still in his mind, probably melted into it.
When the children were asleep in their nivi, he told Neytiri of what he saw, and what he imagined. He had his hand over Neytiri‘s mouth while he fingered his wife and retold his imagination of what he could do to you.
Neytiri came hard on his fingers at the simple imagination of you being theirs to ravish and love and do unimaginable things to you.
Everyone knows how unhappy you are in your bond. And while they do not want to be homewreckers, Jake explained the term to Neytiri once, there is nothing left to wreck.
In everyone‘s eyes but Eywa‘s, you are a free woman.
Neytiri asked you to meet her on a small hunting path that you two once discovered by accident. You agreed, why would you not?
The moss under your feet crunched as you walked, bow in hand and ready for a hunt. Your mind was running because you saw Nimuk flirting with a young girl once more.
But who are you to judge? You are just an old woman.
„[Name]!“ Neytiri is already waiting for you, but there is no bow in sight. Instead, she pulls you into her arms. You melt slightly.
How long has it been since you received a hug from anyone?
„[Name].“ you twitch at the low voice. The Olo’eyktan, Jake Suli. You quickly pull out of Neytiri‘s arms to perform the official sign of greeting towards your leader.
Jake smiles at your formality. You always were so respectful, but he wants to see what hides behind that cloak, or that calm behavior.
„Neytiri,“ you start cautiously, weary of their shared smiles. „Did you not say you want to go hunting with me? Where is your bow?“ your voice sounds small. Why must your confidence leave you now?
Neytiri smiles, nails scrapping against your arms. She chuckles at your confusion, and at the slight purple flush in your cheeks. Oh she can not wait for you to cry out her name!
You notice that both Neytiri and Jake are a little sweaty and out of breath. You sniff the air slightly, and all you smell is sex. Did they have sex before you came here?
„Come, [Name], sit down.“ Neytiri grabs your hand and pulls you down to sit in front of her. You would turn your head to see Jake Suli, but the grip Neytiri has on your hands keeps your head forward.
„Neytiri…what am I doing here? You have no bow or whatsoever for a hunt.“ your tilt your head down, hiding your face in shame. Your bow lies abandoned somewhere behind you.
You only felt a chill when Jake kneeled behind you. His legs prevent you from leaving, his hands are heavy on your shoulders. He rubs circles on your tense skin, trying to relax you a little.
„What are you doing, Olo‘eyktan?“ your breathing quickened. Are they…trying to seduce you? They definitely had intercourse before you came here. Why though? Surely not…no.
You must stop thinking like this. If anything, they are looking to get a rise out of you. They want to see if you will falter at the simplest attention. You can not falter.
„Call me Jake.“ you grew more tense. Calling the Olo’eyktan by his name? But if that is what he wishes, then you will do it. You can not refuse the Olo’eyktan.
„What are you doing, Jake?“ it feels wrong, but you can not see the grin Jake makes behind your head. But what you can see is Neytiri‘s bright smile. She is smiling so brightly you think you go blind!
„Nothing, nothing. Just admiring you, baby.“ he winks but you do not see that. Neytiri does and so she leans forward slightly. So much forward that your noses are millimeters away from the other nose.
„We know you are unhappy in your bond with Nimuk, everybody can see how he betrays your bond by enjoying other‘s affection.“ Neytiri‘s hands roam over your arms while Jake‘s hands undo the cloak around your shoulders.
You let out a nervous laugh. How come they have noticed? Why have they noticed? Could they not simply…leave you alone? But then again, you enjoy their hands on your body.
„No, you must be mistaken. I am very happy.“ your voice does not sound confidant enough for your own ears. How are you so pathetic?
While you are lost in thought, Jake finishes undoing the laces of your cloak. In a quick motion, he rips it off you without ripping it itself. His eyes go wide and his dick comes back to life.
Neytiri milked him only a few minutes ago and yet it feels like he never came before. He suddenly has the desire to paint your womb white with his cum. Your beaded top, though it serves more as a necklace than a covering, looks beautiful. It must be new, for that he knows what kinds of tops you’re usually wearing.
Neytiri licks her lips when she sees your chest. Despite the age difference, you never changed. At least not to her. Eywa, she wishes she could just take you here and now. But no, she needs to do this slowly.
„Do not lie to yourself, or to us. Just feel what you could have. Because you could have us.“ with that, the pair attacks your neck. Neytiri takes to the left, Jake to the right. Now that there is no cloak covering you, they intend to make the most of it.
Neytiri presses kisses to your skin, sometimes gnawing at it. Despite the wrinkles on your skin, you would never become anything such as ugly to her.
Jake gnaws, then licks and then kisses each piece of skin before moving on to the next. He can not believe it that he finally gets to do this. His hands sneak under your arms, hands covering your breasts, not yet groping but not letting you forget his presence.
„ Neytiri, Jake!“ you shriek, freezing in place. You can not help the sigh that escapes you as they leave kisses on your skin.
This can not be. They-the strongest warrior of the Omatikaya and the Olo’eyktan-can not feel like this for you.
You, an ugly, old and wrinkled person who had your best years and only wait till death now.
„You can not be serious! Me? What do you want from me?“ you gasp as Neytiri sucks on your pulse point. One sharp tug on your right nipple and you are suddenly reminded of Jake‘s presence behind you.
„We want you, [Name]. You without your heavy cloaks. Please baby, indulge in us. You want it too, right? Otherwise you wouldn’t be gasping like this.“ Jake barely got the last word out before he is attacking your neck once more.
And he is right, you do want this. You want to feel Neytiri‘s mouth on yours, you want Jake to fuck you into oblivion.
You want them to feel good, too. You can think of hundreds of ways of making them feel good, you do have the experience. Even if it is a little rusty.
So for once in your life, you take what you want. Your hands, which have been holding you up for a while now, finally reach for Neytiri‘s shoulders. You press your lips against Neytiri‘s, and you can feel Jake grinning.
Neytiri‘s tail is thumping against the dirt, her hands are gripping your shoulders to press herself more against you. Oh how long has she waited for this? How often did she long for you, her beautiful former mentor? How long did she want to kiss you breathless?
She and Jake have indulged in their fantasies for the past fifteen years, ever since they admitted to each other how much they love you.
When you break away for air, you feel dizzy. But you are suddenly reminded of Jake when he basically tears off you chest covering.
Heated skin meets the cool air, and you lean against Jake for support. You do not see the way Neytiri hungrily takes in what you have hidden for so long. You are too focused on the incredible feeling of being wanted.
„God, baby, you’ve hidden this from us all these years? You should be punished.“ Jake growls basically into your ear. He does not want to hide you from his wife‘s eyes, so he settles his hands on your thighs.
„He is right. But we can do that another time. Now, we worship you like you deserve it, [Name].“ Neytiri does not want to spend another second watching and not tasting. She starts to kiss down your neck till she reaches one of your nipples and starts to tease you by sucking on it.
Her one hand is tugging at the other, and you wonder how she knows how to make someone feel so special?
Is this what you have been missing all these years while spending your tears on Nimuk? You could have been feeling like this?
„She’s such a good sucker, isn’t she? She knows how to suck cocks, tits and I bet she is good at sucking clits. You wanna try that, sweetheart?“ Jake likes how purple you are, likes how your tail is twitching against him.
You nod feverishly, pressing yourself against Neytiri. How long has it been since you felt like this? Your one hand grips Jake‘s on your thigh, the other grips Neytiri‘s head to press her against your breast.
„Please…please..“ you stammer. Why are you stammering? Get a grip on yourself, for Eywa‘s sake! But no, you keep acting like a mate in heat.
„Gladly, ma yawne. I will taste you.“ This is what Neytiti has been waiting for this. She kisses her way downwards, pressing kisses here and there.
She stops at your loincloth, looking up one last time for your consent. You nod, bucking your hips into her awaiting mouth.
Neytiri peels away your loincloth, smiling at your glistening pussy. You are already wet, that is good. It means you want them and they are not just imagining this.
Just like that, she dives into your cunt. You moan loudly, arching off Jake‘s chest. He keeps your thighs open, eyes taking in your genitalia. His cock is straining against his loincloth and it is already stained with precum.
Neytiri almost passes out from the taste of your cunt. You smell divine and you taste otherworldly. Why did she never tried to approach you before? Well, now she can make up for lost time.
„Look at you, our pretty lady. Will you moan for me just like that, too?“ Jake asks and he sounds entirely too smug. He swallows your next moans by kissing you hard. He hums at your taste, and can not imagine himself not eating you out for hours.
You nod, promising him. He will hold you to that later. For now, he will focus on how good his wife eats you out.
When they are not drawn out by your moans, the slurping sounds are outright vulgar. You did not know you are capable of making such lewd sounds. But neither Jake nor Neytiri seem to mind. In fact, they seem to enjoy it so much that neither of them even want to make you cum because it will waste your energy.
But they can see that you feel the coil in your stomach tighten with each lick Neytiri gives your clit. So Jake moves one hand to your clit and starts rubbing in tiny circles to make you cum faster.
Because making you cum faster means you can and hopefully will take his cock easier.
When you cum, it is loud and unashamed. Neytiri is soaked in your juices and she would not have it any other way. And oh, you taste so good she feels like she is going to die if she does not taste you soon enough again.
„She taste good, baby?“ Jake asks from behind you before he stuffs his two fingers into his mouth, tasting your essence. He almost moans at your taste, you do taste as good as you look.
While you are still in your blissful state of mind, you do not even notice that they changed positions. Jake is hovering over you and once you realize that, you flinch. That bastard starts to grin at your reaction.
„Hi baby.“ his voice is almost too husky for you to hear. What you do hear, however is Neytiri‘s small laughter.
In all her years, she has never seen you so happy, you are grinning like a fool after all. She wonders, when was the last time Nimuk made you feel good? And then she remembers it does not matter, because you came apart on her tongue.
Your eyes widen when you see Jake undoing his loincloth with practiced ease. And then you see his cock and wonder for a brief moment if you are seeing this right.
That monster surely will not fit inside you, right?
Jake has just two things in mind right now: making you feel good and fucking you into oblivion.
After looking into your eyes for one last time, waiting for consent(that you eagerly give) he pushes inside. Slowly, very slowly to make it as comfortable as possible for you.
You moan loud enough that you are sure the entire clan hears it. But right now, you do not care. You feel young again, feel like the past fifteen years have not happened. Like you were not mated to a man who does not respect or love you.
For a brief moment, you think about what you are doing. The Olo‘eyktan and former Tsakarem are doing this willingly. Is this what the sky people call infidelity? Betraying the one you are actually mated to?
Your thought-train stops when Jake grunts above you. He is completely in! And you did not even notice. Well, you surely will next time.
„Oh fuck! Neytiri, they are so tight. It’s a fucking miracle my dick fits inside of them.“ Jake curses under his breath, words that you do not understand. You look up briefly at Neytiri, then decide to sneak a hand under her loincloth.
Neytiri appreciates your eagerness, but for now, you are the main focus. She grips your wrist and pulls it away, even though she aches from not having you touch her.
„Not today, sìltsan. Another time perhaps, but right now, you are the main focus.“ to help Jake making you cum, she reaches over to rub your clit agonizingly slow.
Your body twitches and your hands grip at the grass beneath you. And just like that, the very familiar coil starts to tighten again. You do not ask if you can cum, you just have to.
You scream with anything but dignity when you feel like you are letting everything out. Only seconds later, Jake cums inside you. Your clenching took him by surprise. Still, he rams into you with vigor and tries to ride out his own orgasm.
You are breathing hard and Neytiri puts a strand of loose hair behind your ear. You are utterly exhausted and can not think straight anymore. The only thing on your mind is them, and them everywhere.
Jake and Neytiri do not care for the age gap, they do not care if you are supposedly mated to another man who does not respect you. They have wanted you for years, and now they finally had you. They can see in your eyes that you do not want Nimuk, you want them!
And right now, there is nothing better than to drift off to sleep between them while Neytiri and Jake coo at you.
Summary: Jake and Neytiri neglected and forgot you, their wife. Only when the kids finally say something, they notice too.
Author’s note: Hii! I‘m new on Tumblr and this is my very first post so please don’t be so harsh. My first language is not English(don’t expect this to be a masterpiece because of that please) and I do not use AI. Ao3 comments have often told me that my stories are from AI but they’re not, I just have a bland and boring writing style.
The lazy afternoon sun is shining through the tiny gaps of the kelku(house/home). Everybody is exhausted from the very long day, despite the children not really doing anything.
Kiri is braiding beads into Tuk‘s hair, Neteyam and Lo‘ak are sharpening their knives while arguing about who’s fault it was for the hexapede running away before they could catch it. Neytiri and Jake are tangled in their nivi(hammock), tails intertwined and resting in each other‘s embrace. Only you aren’t there.
„Dad! When is sa‘nu(mommy/mom) coming back?“ Tuk whines from Kiri‘s lap. You promised her that you would be there for the evening meal, and that you would tell her a story when it is time to go to sleep.
Jake does not move his head to look at his youngest daughter, nor does he stop rubbing circles on Neytiri‘s waist. „Your mother will be back soon. She’s…Neytiri what is she doing again?“ It sounds weird to his own ears that he can not recall what you are doing right now.
„She‘s visiting a friend in the healing tents. I saw her carrying a basket full of herbs and some other shit.“ Lo‘ak says it as if it is normal for everyone to know where you are. Neytiri can see their other children nodding their heads.
Why did they know about your whereabouts and they did not?
„You know, sa‘nu looks sad often these past weeks. And she doesn’t sit with us at dinner anymore.“ Tuk states it like it is obvious. And to the children, it is. You have not been smiling a lot, nor were you there for any meals these past weeks. Tuk thought her sa‘nok and sempul(Mother and father) would notice and eventually ask you about it. But that did not happen.
„Ma‘ite(daughter), that is not true. Your sa‘nu has been here for meals. And she is not sad! Right, Ma Jake?“ Neytiri is unconvinced of her own words. She is clearly rummaging through her own memories, trying to find you anywhere. But she can not find any.
Jake‘s heart is pounding in his ears. He can not recall any time where you were with them. Not when hunting, not when flying for date night, and not for any meal in weeks. But why did they not notice sooner?
„Mom is actually super sad. You don’t take her hunting anymore, you don’t sit with her at cooking fires. You either spend your time with each other or with us or duties. But not with mom!“ Lo‘ak was the first to notice your distance but kept his mouth shut. He thought it will pass but it did not.
Then again, he did not say anything because he simply thought it will be over soon. So he just let it happen, they all let it happen. Avoidance is always the best way to cover things up.
Neytiri sits up and stumbles out of the nivi, crashing down onto the ground with a loud sound. She is panicking, trying to find evidence that they did not forget you, that they did not neglect you.
But her son is right. Your weaving projects are not next to hers anymore. Your bow is not proudly displayed next to hers anymore. You even moved your hunting gear from theirs!
Kiri, who has stayed silent for so long, sighs. Whenever she asked, you would deflect her questions or tell her it is not anything serious. But seeing her sa‘nok panicking, she knows it is most definitely something serious.
„Did you know she has her own nivi?“ Kiri‘s voice is deadly calm. Like a weapon made to hurt her parents and only her parents. Tuk looked up at her sister, then at her parents.
„Her own nivi? No, she doesn’t have her own nivi! That’s bullshit!“ Jake tries to reason, but he can not tell if you slept beside them. You would always come to sleep next to them at the end of the day. Because you love them and you know they love you too, right?
„Is it?“ Neteyam usually did not speak against his father, but this time he can not bring himself to stay silent. They have been watching you suffer in loneliness and did not say a word. He is so ashamed of himself that he can not even bear to be angry at his parents.
Neytiri lets out a sob. How has she not noticed her own mate suffering? How has she not noticed you were not there when they were always together?
Jake immediately wraps an arm around his wife. But the realization and shame burns in his face. Neither of them noticed anything, and you did not say a word either.
But he can not fault you for that right now. He needs to have a clear head and with the children staring at them with accusative attitude, he definitely does not have one.
„Kids, listen. I need you to stay at your grandma‘s tonight. Your mothers and I will get you in the morning.“ even though they are not on patrol or on a hunting trip, he barks orders at his children.
They reluctantly start to pack up, though Tuk is loudly protesting. „Sa‘nu promised me to tell me a story before bed! Dad you can’t make me leave!“ she whines even as Neteyam picks her up and carries her out of the kelku.
Immediately it is silent. Silent except for the sobs Neytiri is letting out. The kelku is suddenly too big for them, and they can vividly remember a time when that was different. When you filled out the space that is now empty and big and silent.
„Baby, Baby listen to me.“ Jake puts his hands on Neytiri‘s shoulders and finally gets her to look at him through tear stained eyes. „When she comes home tonight, we need to show her that we still very much love and need her. No accusations and no shouting. Okay?“
Neytiri nods because she can not bring herself to speak. Her eyes go over the kelku again, suddenly finding space where your things once were. Just for how long have you been distancing yourself from them?
The empty basket in your hands does not keep your mind from thinking. You have a weird feeling in your chest and it will not stop no matter what you do. You only hope that nothing has happened while you were gone.
Your friend is fine. With the herbs you just delivered, she will be back to normal in no time! But you already had a weird feeling when you kneeled next to her.
There is your kelku, the home you have been living in for years. But the negative feeling comes from there. Should you go in? Maybe you will just see something what makes your heart break a little more.
You sigh and push the flap aside, hoping to find your family eating dinner.
But no, there are no children. There are just Jake and Neytiri, sitting on the ground. The atmosphere is tense around the three of you.
„Jake…Neytiri.“ you greet softly and put the basket on the ground. Out of instinct, you pull the woven shawl tighter around you. Maybe because you hope it can protect you from whatever conversation will be happening. „Where are the children?“
“Why did you not tell me how you were feeling? Why did you not tell us how we have been treating you?“ Neytiri never liked to beat around the bush. No, she would rather talk directly about the fact that they have been neglecting their mate and said mate did not say anything about it.
„I do now understand, Neytiri. Answer me please, where are the children?“ Oh, you know exactly what they are talking about. And they can see it in your face, you just do not want to answer the question.
„They’re at Mo‘at‘s. Now answer us.“ Jake‘s voice is grave and filled with anger. Not anger towards you, never you, but at himself. How could he let it get this far?
„Again, I do not know what you want to hear.“ you try to sound confident but it comes out rather as if you are trying to run from their questions.
„Ma yawne do not lie to us! We have neglected you, have acted as if you are nothing more than a friend or a guest in your own home! We did not even know about your separate nivi!“ Neytiri‘s voice raises in sadness. The words are bitter on her tongue but they are truthful. The truth is always bitter.
„How do you know about that?“ that got your attention. And based on Jake and Neytiri‘s expressions, they do not know for long. Who told them? Was it Tuk?
„Doesn’t matter. What matters is that you didn’t say a word! You have been suffering in silence for Eywa knows how long and didn’t say a word. And hell, we didn’t notice either. Tuk made us see it!“ Jake is pacing while shouting and you know you can not escape this conversation or situation.
Instead of saying anything, you lower your head and look down at the ground in front of you. Then you sigh and decide that apologizing might be the easiest way out of this.
„I apologize. I thought you would notice and eventually stop but you did not and then it just became…habit. Again, forgive me for not saying anything.“ your voice is calm but your mind definitely is not. You are so exhausted.
„Why are you apologizing?! Baby please listen instead of apologizing!“ the nickname feels strange on Jake‘s tongue. How long has it been since he called you anything but your name?
You sigh and look up, and let out a startled gasp because suddenly, he is in front of you. Before you can react, he has already taken your hands into his. Jake‘s hands are warm, yours are cold. They always are cold.
„Baby let me apologize. I‘ve been a terrible husband. God, neglecting your wife is the worst thing you can do in a marriage! I’ve spent so much time with the children and duties that I was glad to have some alone time with Neytiri and I completely forgot about you! I’m so sorry baby please forgive me!“ the emotion in his voice makes you tremble. Jake has always been emotional with you and Neytiri, just never in front of the kids.
„Jake stop-“ you get stopped by a hand on your arm. It is Neytiri who is looking at you with so much sorrow and so much sadness in her big yellow eyes. You used to spend hours looking into those eyes, but not anymore.
„No, ma yawne. We promised you forever and told you we can not live without at our side, and we have done so anyway. Without us even noticing..“ Neytiri breaks into a sob. She is suddenly reminded how she misses you at her side during flying, hunting, weaving. Those are all things you two have done together, and now you do it alone.
All three of you can vividly remember the night Jake and Neytiri asked you to meet them in their kelku. For no particular reason, you wore your favorite loincloth and your prettiest necklace acting as a chest garment. You even rebraided your hair twice because you were so nervous.
They confessed rather clumsily. First Neytiri, then Jake. But both of them wanted you at their side forever. They promised you you would never be alone anymore.
Believing them, you held your kuru to each of theirs and made tsaheylu. You felt everything in that moment, and from that moment on you were their wife.
How could things have ended up like this?
„Say something baby. Please..“ Jake is desperate not to lose you. A mating bond is forever, but that does not mean he is willing to lose you emotionally.
Now that you look at them like that, they seem equally desperate to make you happy again. With a sigh, you take a deep breath.
„You have both hurt me immensely. You stopped reaching out to me, stopped asking me to come with you. And whenever I asked one of you to come with me, you would brush me off.“ you make a pause and take in their expressions. Neytiri is losing hope and is probably praying to the Great Mother that she is not losing you tonight. Jake looks as if he is about to throw up from the truth in your words.
„But I still love you both so much. I could not bring myself to leave you, emotionally or physically. I forgive you both for all the things you have done. But you must promise me that it will never happen again. Promise me..“ your voice cracks. Tears are running down your cheeks and you can not wipe them because Jake is holding your hands too tightly.
Suddenly, you do not need to wipe your tears anymore because Jake is cupping your face and already did it for you. He leans down and gives you a kiss on the forehead.
„We will never do that again, you hear me? Never in my entire damn life will I forget you again.“ Jake is determined not to let it happen again. Because if it does, he will haul himself off a cliff and drop dead. You do not deserve to be treated like an afterthought.
Neytiri is smiling for the first time since she had the realization that they are terrible mates to you. She takes your palm and presses kisses to it while mumbling praise and thanks to Eywa, and to you.
While you are distracted, you are picked up by Jake. You shriek. „Jake! What are you doing?“ you obviously try to push against him but he is simply stronger than you. So you protest without success.
„Making my wife feel loved again.“ he carries you to the giant nivi. There could be easily fit four people in. First he lays you inside, then he climbs inside himself.
He rests his back against the nivi, with you on his chest listening to his heartbeat. Your exhaustion and sleepiness seems to make itself known.
Neytiri climbs in from the other side, was to curl against your back. Her hand is rubbing circles on your waist, calming you instantly. „Oel ngati kameie(I See You).“ she whispers into your ear and you can not help but smile. How long has your heart longed to hear those words again?
„Oel ngati kameie.“ you respond sleepily. Before you drift off to sleep, you can faintly hear Jake telling you that he loves you but you are already asleep instead is responding.
Jake and Neytiri stay awake a little longer, staring at your sleeping form. They are silently vowing to themselves to never neglect you again, may Eywa strike them down if they ever did again.
But with some time passed, they too fall asleep. And it’s the best sleep you all three have had since you began sleeping in an extra nivi.
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