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At the top of the world, the Inuit culture has developed a sophisticated way to sculpt kids' behavior without yelling or scolding. Could discipline actually be playful?
Back in the 1960s, a Harvard graduate student made a landmark discovery about the nature of human anger.
At age 34, Jean Briggs traveled above the Arctic Circle and lived out on the tundra for 17 months. There were no roads, no heating systems, no grocery stores. Winter temperatures could easily dip below minus 40 degrees Fahrenheit.
Briggs persuaded an Inuit family to “adopt” her and “try to keep her alive,” as the anthropologist wrote in 1970.
At the time, many Inuit families lived similar to the way their ancestors had for thousands of years. They built igloos in the winter and tents in the summer. “And we ate only what the animals provided, such as fish, seal and caribou,” says Myna Ishulutak, a film producer and language teacher who lived a similar lifestyle as a young girl.
Briggs quickly realized something remarkable was going on in these families: The adults had an extraordinary ability to control their anger.
“They never acted in anger toward me, although they were angry with me an awful lot,” Briggs told the Canadian Broadcasting Corp. in an interview.
Continue Reading.
Across the board, all the moms mention one golden rule: Don’t shout or yell at small children.
Traditional Inuit parenting is incredibly nurturing and tender. If you took all the parenting styles around the world and ranked them by their gentleness, the Inuit approach would likely rank near the top. (They even have a special kiss for babies, where you put your nose against the cheek and sniff the skin.)
The culture views scolding — or even speaking to children in an angry voice — as inappropriate, says Lisa Ipeelie, a radio producer and mom who grew up with 12 siblings. “When they’re little, it doesn’t help to raise your voice,” she says. “It will just make your own heart rate go up.”
Even if the child hits you or bites you, there’s no raising your voice?
“No,” Ipeelie says with a giggle that seems to emphasize how silly my question is. “With little kids, you often think they’re pushing your buttons, but that’s not what’s going on. They’re upset about something, and you have to figure out what it is.”
Traditionally, the Inuit saw yelling at a small child as demeaning. It’s as if the adult is having a tantrum; it’s basically stooping to the level of the child, Briggs documented.
Elders I spoke with say intense colonization over the past century is damaging these traditions. And, so, the community is working hard to keep the parenting approach intact.
“Traditionally, the Inuit saw yelling at a small child as demeaning. It’s as if the adult is having a tantrum; it’s basically stooping to the level of the child, Briggs documented.”
Trying to explain this concept to white men over the age of 40 Is frighteningly difficult lol
There’s a little girl in my head & she screams “unloved! unloved! unloved!” every moment of my life
There’s a woman in my head now & she holds the little girl and says “I will take care of you and we will be alright” when the little girl screams and together they are learning how to trust each other
Learning how to self-parent is one of the hardest things to do in your mental health journey, and boy howdy does it take a lot of work because the adult you needs care too
The prettiest latte I've ever gotten for myself 😍 #birthdaycake #latte #homecafe (at Home Cafe)
I just want the simple things, I just want you. 😌❤ #loveyou #throwback #tbt #latepost (at Oracle Arena)
Happy birthday to my sister! Not only did you spend the entire day studying, you also got me boba when I was stressed out from work. I'm always surprised how fast you've grown every year, yet you're still the same height as me :P. I appreciate all the times you were there to support me and all the times we goof off!! Hope you take the time to relax once in awhile and lay off on the coffee! Love you!! #sisters #happy #birthday #family #loveyou
😎😸😼 📷: @dj_darryl93 #google #android #siliconvalley #tgif #friday #adventure (at Google HQ, Mountain View, CA)
My first real taste of winter left me with a cold 😂❄⛄ #sweaterweather #winter #eastcoast #Baltimore #snow #cold #af (at Hunt Valley Inn, a Wyndham Grand)
I'm so blessed to have you in my life. 😊 I can't thank you enough for being my rock & my anchor. Your constant positivity and laughter always puts a smile on my face, even when I'm having a bad day. I love you, babe 😊! Thanks for being you! 😁 I can't wait to see you once I'm back from the east coast 😘💖💕 #valentinesday #obligatorypost #babe #bae #love #missyou #seeyousoon
Best friends are the people you can do anything and nothing with and still have the best time 😊💞 #besties #selfie #missyou #comeback #tb
Bacon-crusted salmon with potato pureé 😋😍 #finedining #family #lunch #bacon #salmon #nom (at Sutro's (Cliff House))
Take me back 😭😭🙆#missingnora #hardsummer #squad #summer #roadtrip #takemeback #throwback #repost #tbt #thatemojitho (at Orange County, California)
When you know you can't make it on your own, I will be your soldier. 💑💕 #dreamstate #sf #trance #rave #insomniac #loveyou #bestpic #latepost (at Bill Graham Civic Auditorium)
Let the moment be a sanctuary ❤ #dreamstate #sf #trance #insomniac #loveyouguys #teamnosleep #latepost (at Bill Graham Civic Auditorium)
Nothing beats an awesome game of bowling with my girls 😂! (missing Cassie 😭) #lostmyvoice #reunited #mygirls #besties #loveyouguys (at Classic Bowling Center)
All I want for Christmas is to cuddle with the guy next to me ❤ 📷: @suenific #cuddleseason #happyholidays #coldaf #citylife (at Union Square, San Francisco)
I'm always craving hot pot ❤ #hotpot #Mongolian #dinner #datenight #noms (at Little Sheep Mongolian Hot Pot, San Mateo 小肥羊)
