[ID: Multiple screenshots from the same post on r/relationship_advice
Transcript: I (28M) cosplayed and LARPed as Naruto to prove a point, now girlfriend (25 F) is pissed. Can this be saved?
My girlfriend (25F) and I (28M) have been together for five years now. She has always been highly into Dungeons and Dragons, Lord of the Rings, and high fantasy content in general. I am into it somewhat and enjoy indulging her hobbies, but am mostly an anime fan. On the other hand, she has no interest in indulging in my hobbies. While I play D&D with her, partake in a yearly LoTR movie marathon with her, and go to the renaissance festival three times a year with her, she has no interest in even trying to watch anime with me, going to conventions, etc. She honestly just thinks anime is pretty cringy and would rather just let me partake in it by myself.
That’s fine, whatever. Our relationship is good in most aspects. The issue is that starting around the beginning of the year, she has been going out in public dressed as her elf persona. She will wear elaborate medieval gowns, wear fake elf ears, and speak in a fake Irish accent. This will happen multiple times a week when we go shopping, visit friends, and more. She even showed up to dinner with my family dressed as an elf. She will talk about nature spirits and the “Mother Goddess”and basically randomly LARP as an elf.
While I want to be supportive of her, it can frankly get pretty embarrassing. My tipping point was when I got on a Zoom call with the family so we could spend time with my cousin who is undergoing Chemo and can’t see people face to face due to the pandemic. My girlfriend joined the Zoom call from her own room, fully dressed as an elf. She was doing the accent. My whole family was very confused but polite. At one point, my girlfriend said something like “I will send my wishes to the lunar goddess and ask for her blessing of recovery to cast upon you. Her magic will help cleanse the illness from your body.“ I was honestly mortified and the call ended very soon after.
I ended up taking her aside and spoke with her very politely and gently, saying something like this. “Hey, I want to support you and I will always love you. I know dressing up as your character and fantasy stuff in general means a lot to you. But I would really like it if you could lighten up on the cosplaying and LARPing randomly in everyday life. I would be happy to put aside one day a month and we can go out together like this. But it can be a little embarrassing, and with the comment to my cousin, a little inappropriate at times.”
She blew a gasket and started snapping and yelling at me. Going on about how I am trying to repress her. How I should never be embarrassed at my girlfriend expressing her true self, etc, etc. She said she was humiliated by what I said and was just adding salt to the wound when I suggested doing it once a month with me.
She didn’t want to talk about it after that so I just apologized for upsetting her and let her know it wasn’t my intention to upset her. Well, she basically acted as nothing happened and continued to be an elf. Nothing had changed at all. I should mention I also suggested she bring her habit up with her therapist, but this offended her because I was implying she had a mental issue.
I decided that enough was enough. I couldn’t stop her from being an elf, but I could still retaliate. She was meeting up with three friends and wanted to meet up with them. (Yeah, yeah, pandemic. There are virtually no cases where we are and have no lockdown). I decided to dig up my old Naruto cosplay and then drove to meet them at the park. I was in full getup and waved over to my girlfriend. She looked at me like I just shot her dog.
I put my arms behind my back and Naruto ran as fast as I could down to meet them and said “A true ninja is always on time, believe it!” And made some hand signs randomly with my hands. Her friends seemed horribly confused and had no idea what to do. After we walked and talked a bit, my girlfriend took me aside more privately and started yelling at me, saying that I was humiliating on her. That I was just being petty and trying to get revenge on her and bully her because she likes to cosplay. /end id]
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