Limitless-Wonderland

-I am a trans mtf woman named Hailey. On this blog i post what i feel like. In and out of depression and into lots of things. My personal page to express myself. <3 <3 18+ blog.

[aestum]

(by Jan Kopřiva)

[limitless-wonderland]

Why is it that everyone I know and love abuses me in some way or just doesn't care... Would anyone really notice if I was gone... I try and try and nothing changes... 

[yancore-angel-deactivated202408]

youre cute,

just SO FUCKING cute

i love watching you,

do you look at me too?

senmu on pixiv

[0nly-an-illusi0n]

[verpasstzuleben]

[beautifuldarkmind]

I’m jealous of those who can function like a normal human being. They don’t have anxiety holding them back from everything, they don’t struggle to get out of bed or have to put on an act that everything is fine when its not. They don’t struggle to hold friendships and relationships… they don’t feel sad for no fucking reason everyday. Those that can hold jobs and work towards their dreams, the ones who have self esteem and see the beauty in themselves. Those that know what its like to feel safe and secure, not insecure and fearful of it all. 

[1000drawings]

[draculasdaughter]

Illustrations from The Black Cat magazine, vol. 16 (1910-1911).

[sa-dnesss]

“My plan was always to kill myself before I turned 18.. now I am 22 and just existing, without a plan for the future.”

— I wish I had the courage to kill myself

[limitless-wonderland]

Not 22 but whatever…

[sad-empty-lost]

I don’t get mad anymore, I just get really quiet. Why keep talking when nobody is really listening to you?

[wishing-for-deathx]

Things no one tells you about when you’ve been mentally ill for years and it won’t get better

— everyone will give up on you. Some will say it upfront, some will have indirect ways of showing it (you’re a lucky mf if you still have someone )

— your symptoms/ breakdowns/ panic attacks are cute for a few months. Everyone wants to help. Later on people find them annoying and inconvenient

— you will be blamed for not getting better. Doesn’t matter if you’re doing therapy, taking meds, exercising, eating well and sleeping. You can do all of it, some of it or none of it. They will find fault in your efforts.

— desensitization to your pain. This one isn’t their fault, it’s human nature. But it happens and yes it hurts cuz you would wish you were desensitized to your own pain but you have to feel it no matter what. Doesn’t matter if it’s the millionth time. It demands to be felt.

— people move on. But you can’t. You see people cope and get over things while you simply can’t. And it’s so much worse if you’ve been mentally ill for years. Even the smallest things break you and trigger you.

— you slowly realize this world isn’t made for mentally ill people in any way

— you’re tired / fatigued all the time. You have been for years now. You simply exist but you aren’t capable of living anymore. Your illnesses have taken everything that made you feel alive. You’re nothing but a shell. A body.

[sadandsmilling]

One of the worst parts of self harm and suicidal ideation is when you’re sitting next to someone you love so much and all you can think about is how badly you want things to end.

[ihat3ev3rything]

No one notices your sadness until it turns into anger. Then you're a bad person.

[idkhowifeel]

[ikwt]

[imjustascaredlilgirl]

[justapeiceofshit]