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@linstead-stillus
Still Us 💛
They weren’t supposed to survive this.
Not the distance.
Not the silence.
Not everything in between.
But somehow…
they keep choosing each other.
📖 Ongoing Linstead story
Angst. Fluff. Long distance. Healing.
🔗 Read on AO3
🔗 Read on FF.net
🔗 Read on Wattpad
CHICAGO PD 1.01
“So basically…
you’re upset
because you think he’s upset
because he thinks he upset you?” 💛💛💛
Almost.
Jay hasn’t heard Erin’s voice in two days. The nightmares are back. The hunger for her touch is louder than the heat, the missions, the noise.
So when the CO throws a barbecue and a soccer game to “boost morale,” Jay forces himself to go. Burgers. Dust. Laughter. Mateo’s haunted eyes. And for a moment, under the sun, he almost forgets. Until he twists his ankle. Until the medic’s hand slides too far. Until temptation whispers: She’d never know.
But Jay would. And that’s enough.
💬 Soldiers, burgers and soccer under a brutal sun 💬 A kid carrying a deadly mistake 💬 A medic who crosses a line 💬 Jay choosing Erin... even when no one’s watching
It’s not pretty. It’s not fixed. But it’s a choice. Every damn time.
📖 Read Chapter 44 now:
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Sophia Bush as Erin Lindsay in Chicago Fire 2x13 “Tonight's the Night”
Jesse Lee Soffer avatar 320x200
Sophia Bush as Erin Lindsay in Chicago Fire 2x13 “Tonight's the Night”
Jesse Lee Soffer as Jay Halsted Chicago PD
Soldier boy! 🪖
It might not be December, but it's Christmas! Some gifts don’t come in boxes. They come as hope. As a key. As a star in the sky.
Erin tried to pretend Christmas was just another day. But memories don’t let you pretend. Not when they involve Bunny’s cruelty. Camille’s warmth. Hank’s softening. And Jay’s hand in hers... years ago, at a dinner table that felt like home.
Now? She’s alone again. And he’s miles away, lost in heat, missions, and silence. But not today. Today, he calls. And stays. And for a few precious hours… it feels like they’re in the same room.
💬 Flirty teasing from the bed to the kitchen. 💬 Shared stories, burnt marshmallows, and painful childhood memories. 💬 Longing glances, lace peeks, and hot chocolate steam. 💬 And then—one unexpected package.
📦 🔑 📷 ⭐ And now Jay can always find his way back. Even in the dark. 💛 “We’re still us, right?” 💛 “Always us.”
💬 Did Erin’s letter break you gently or all at once? 💬 Did Jay threading that key onto his dog tags wreck you too? 💬 And be honest—did you scan the coordinates to see where their star lives? Because, yes, it's real.
📖 Read Chapter 43 now: 🔗 Read on AO3 🔗 Read on FF.net 🔗 Read on Wattpad
He’s not fixed. But he’s breathing. And for the first time in weeks, he’s smiling.
After a nightmare that shattered them both, Jay finally slept. Because Erin stayed. Whispered him calm. Held him without touching. Loved him through the dark.
Erin’s still shaken but Cass reminds her: you don’t need a PhD to be exactly what he needs.
💛 “You slowed his breathing. Dropped his heart rate. You made him feel safe.” 💛 “You held space for his pain. That’s the kind of anchor he’s never had.” 💛 “You’re not just helping him sleep. You’re helping him live again.”
Then comes the gossip.
💬 “Mouse and Amanda!? I shipped them the second I met her.” 💬 “She’s Mouse with a skirt!” 💬 “Prince Charming and tears!? …Oh. Yeah. That…”
Between co-regulation and Christmas plans, dream kids and FBI techies falling in love,one thing’s clear:
They’re still hurting. But they’re not hiding. Not anymore.
💬 Did you MELT at the “think about my hand on your chest” line!? 💬 Were you SCREAMING when Amanda Tate entered the chat? 💬 And honestly, do you think they’ll keep this promise not to push each other away again?
📖 Read Chapter 42 now: 🔗 Read on AO3 🔗 Read on FF.net 🔗 Read on Wattpad
SOPHIA BUSH as ERIN LINDSAY CHICAGO PD — 4.22, Army of One
He woke up screaming. Again. But this time, he didn’t have to scream alone.
The nightmare shattered him. Blood. A woman. A baby. And then... Erin.
Jay couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t speak. But she answered. She always does.
📱 “Close your eyes, baby…” 📱 “Breathe with me.” 📱 “Let it calm your heart.”
Through the screen, Erin traced every inch of him with her voice. Soothed every tremble with her breath. Held him, even when she couldn’t touch him. Because love doesn’t need proximity. It just needs presence.
And when he finally let the truth spill... The guilt. The blood. The woman. The baby.
She didn’t flinch.
💛 “You don’t have to carry this alone.” 💛 “Let me hold some of it.” 💛 “Lean on me.”
Jay fell asleep in her voice. Safe. Held. Loved.
💬 Did this chapter wreck you slowly, softly, completely? 💬 Do you think he’ll finally believe he doesn’t have to be strong all the time?
📖 Read Chapter 41 now: 🔗 Read on AO3 🔗 Read on FF.net 🔗 Read on Wattpad
He’s doing it again. And this time, she won’t let him.
Jay came back broken. Now he’s trying to push her away... again. But Erin remembers what it felt like last time. She remembers the silence. The suitcase. The goodbye kiss that ripped her heart in half.
So when he tries to run again… She stands her ground.
💥 “You said you were going to fight for me. So I won’t let you give up.” 💥 “You walked away once. I’m not letting you do it again.” 💥 “Just let me love you.”
And for the first time in forever… He lets her.
📞 A call to Mouse. 🫂 A truth spilled in broken sobs. 💔 A woman Jay couldn’t save… and a woman still trying to save him.
He’s not okay. But he’s not alone. And maybe... he’s finally choosing to stay.
💬 Did you scream at your screen like it was 4x17 all over again? 💬 Did Mouse say what we’ve all been yelling for 5 years? 💬 Can Jay finally stop running or is this just the calm before another storm?
📖 Read Chapter 40 now:
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Some truths hit like a bullet. Even if you never pulled the trigger.
Jay is spiraling. Erin can feel it in every silence. Every tear. Every time he says I don’t deserve you.
Cass is flying to Seattle. And Erin is unraveling... alone.
💔 “He said he loved me like he was saying goodbye…” 💔 “He’s slipping away, and I don’t know how to bring him back.” 💔 “I feel like I only make it worse.”
She’s trying everything. Soft jokes. Flirty teases. Tender dreams of freckles and toddlers. But nothing gets through. And now he’s gone again... another mission. Another radio silence. Another please stay alive.
So Erin reaches out. To the one person who might still understand Jay’s darkness: Mouse. And what he says? Breaks her completely.
💥 The truth about Chicago. 💥 The little girl. 💥 The guilt Jay never shared.
And now Erin is left staring at her empty glass, whispering the one question that might destroy her:
“What have I done?”
💬 Did you cry with Erin on that rooftop? 💬 Can Mouse really help Jay find his way back? 💬 And is it too late for either of them to come up for air?
📖 Read Chapter 39 now: 🔗 Read on AO3 🔗 Read on FF.net 🔗 Read on Wattpad
Some losses don’t fade. They carve you open and leave you bleeding in silence.
Jay was already unraveling. Then a mission went wrong. And now there’s blood on his boots, ghosts in his chest, and a woman’s final breath etched into his memory.
She wasn’t a threat. She was someone’s everything.
And now, her husband’s cry “Mi amor” won’t stop echoing in his ears.
💔 “I can’t have that, Erin. I don’t deserve any of it.” 💔 “Someone’s wife. Someone’s love. Someone’s—” 💔 “Can you just… stay with me?”
Erin doesn’t know the details. But she knows pain when she sees it. And even across a screen, she stays. She holds him. Quietly. Completely. Until the Wi-Fi cuts out. Until she’s staring at silence again.
💬 Do you think Jay can survive this mission mentally? 💬 Did Erin’s quiet presence feel like a lifeline to you too? 💬 And how loud did your heart scream when the call dropped at the end?
📖 Read Chapter 38 now:
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Sometimes the words you’ve been aching to hear… come wrapped in bandages and bruises. But God, they still mean everything.
Erin wakes in the middle of the night to a message. Not just any message... his. Short. Soft. Hopeful. But when she calls, what she sees? 🩹 “It’s just a scratch.”
Then comes the other call. Not from Jay. Not from Cass. From him. The man who raised her. Who used to fight for her. Who now defends Hailey.
And suddenly, Erin’s whole world tilts.
💬 “You broke him.” 💬 “She’s one of the best I’ve had.” 💬 “He still thinks he loves you…”
And the worst part? No one says it. Not his name. Not hers. As if she’s been erased from the story entirely.
Until Jay calls again. And this time, he says it. All of it.
Do you think Jay’s words finally healed the damage? Was Hank fair or completely blind to what they had? And be honest did you smile at the baby talk at the end? 😭🧡
📖 Read Chapter 10 now:
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Ice cream and heartbreak don’t fix everything. But they sure help soften the guilt.
Erin wasn’t supposed to spiral again. But one accidental call with her turned everything upside down. Now she can’t stop second-guessing every word, every silence, every delay.
She needed comfort. She needed clarity. She needed Cass.
And Cass? She delivered... with spoons, sass, and not-sessions that hit too close to the truth.
💔 “Every time you say you love me, I wonder if you say the same to her.” 💔 “You’re not a horrible person… you’re just human. And hurting.” 💔 “So not professional, Dr. Beckman.”
Meanwhile, in Bolivia, Jay’s got blood in his lashes, guilt in his chest, and too many ghosts for company. He's trying to fix everything, except the one thing that matters most. And Erin is running out of patience… and faith.
💬 Can Cass keep Erin grounded? 💬 Is Jay ever going to find the courage to do what’s right? 💬 Don't we all just love Cass?
📖 Read Chapter 36 now: 🔗 Read on AO3 🔗 Read on FF.net 🔗 Read on Wattpad
