I would love to see a Maekar fic where he reveals his insecurities about not being good enough, and feeling ignored by his parents.
Guarded Heart
Maekar Targaryen x f!Reader
Summary: A trip to King’s Landing exposes parts of your husband’s past he’d rather keep hidden.
AN: Okay I read this and loved it and then for some reason it was like so hard to write lol like I wanted him to seem desperate and sad but still in character? The challenge was so fun though love making him suffer. Hopefully I did it justice I hope you enjoy!!! <3
Warnings: Smut, angst, weepy man, insecurity
3.3k Words
“I guess some men are meant to rule, and others meant to follow orders.”
It was certainly meant to be harmless. A jest delivered by a drunken lord who didn’t know any better. You felt Maekar tense at your side, shoulders drawing up and a puff of air leaving his nose. His voice rang out across the table, quieter than you’d expected but no less deadly.
“What the fuck did you just say?”
You’d arrived in King’s Landing that afternoon, tired and sore from the long journey from Summerhall. Maekar had extended you his hand as you stepped from the carriage, a sheen of sweat on his brow and a look in his eye that did not mask his irritation. Baelor had invited the two of you to court for a much needed break from a household of children. You loved each of them as your own, despite their challenges, but there was no doubt the six of them had worn you out.
It was a welcome request- at first. What you’d hoped would be a relaxing visit, sharing some much-needed alone time with your husband, became hours spent entertaining guests, listening to lords vie for royal favor, and dining with members of the court. Baelor insisted it would only be temporary, that you’d be able to whisk the Anvil away once the thrill of another Prince present wore off. So far you’d had no such luck, and it seemed like the conversation was taking a grim turn.
Lord Rosby continued, undisturbed by your husband’s tone:
“I speak on behalf of the Realm, I think, that we are thankful our good Prince Baelor will someday rule, and not the bloodied soldier.”
You grabbed Maekar’s leg under the table, desperate to keep him in check before he said- or did- something his father would later have to apologize for. By now Baelor had heard his name, turning from his seat to listen wearily to the lord.
“The Hammer swings hard, and the Anvil takes the hit, aye?”
Maekar made to stand, but his older brother was already there, hand on his shoulder pressing him back into his seat. The heir had a way of speaking that eased tensions, but you were not sure if even Baelor could calm the storm brewing.
“My brother, the Prince, has seen more battles than most, certainly more than you,” He started, “I fear you may be out of your depth in talks of war, Lord Rosby. See to it that you educate yourself on the Targaryen dynasty, before attempting to critique those who truly rule.”
His intonation was that of a King, but you’d now known Prince Baelor long enough to know that he did not take kindly to false claims thrown at his little brother.
“Of course, my Prince.” The man stuttered out, “There's no question of Prince Maekar’s particular skill at brutality, I only meant-”
“You meant that my brother’s ferocity makes him unfit to lead.”
Baelor walked around the table, stopping before his guest.
“Do not forget how the Targaryen’s gained their seat in this Realm.”
He nodded to the door, and Lord Rosby stood quickly, awkwardly bowing to the table before leaving. You threaded your fingers around Maekar’s, his hash brow set as he looked up at his brother.
Baelor addressed the table.
“Please, pardon my interruptions. Return to your conversations, please.”
His command of the room was decisive. Quiet chatter began again, though most guests were still stealing looks at your end of the table.
You turned to your husband, who was now quietly seething.
“Darling, you can relax your jaw now.” You tried to joke, stroking his arm. Maekar grunted, keeping his face pointedly at his plate.
It was going to be a long evening.
*****
Maekar slammed the door to your chambers hard enough to rattle the flames in their candles. Your eyes widened, turning to watch as he angrily tugged at his sword belt. The buckle was caught, and he growled as he struggled with the clasp.
“Would you like some help, darling?” You softly questioned, stepping closer.
Your husband rolled his eyes, scoffing.
“Do you think me some kind of imbecile? Don’t waste your time nagging, woman.” He grumbled out, hands still fixed to his belt.
You huffed.
“Fine, do it yourself then.”
He didn’t acknowledge when you turned, skirts swishing around your legs as you stomped off toward the balcony. You gripped the rail, looking out across the tumultuous waters of Blackwater Bay; your mind swirling like the waves crashing on the rocky shore.
How were you to help your husband if he wouldn’t let you?
Tears pricked in the corners of your eyes as you hung your head. So rarely did Maekar take such a tone with you. You’d feared him when you first met, so severe, so hardened, but months of marriage had taught you to look past his exterior. He’d been nothing but devoted to you, duty transforming into the tender love you shared.
It didn’t make him any less complicated.
You knew some, about his family, his past, but Maekar was not the kind of man to so readily share his sentiments, even with you. Several times, you’d tried to pry, asking him of his life as a child of the King, but often you were met with short answers and nonsense. You could tell he was avoiding the subject; so often he would move on quickly, complimenting your hair or asking after your family.
Had the words said in jest at dinner really hit him so hard?
They hadn’t been particularly funny, sure, but they were certainly not meant to hurt. How clear it was, how much Baelor loved his little brother, and would never think him some spare, but maybe Maekar felt differently.
You stiffened when you heard him step out onto the balcony, hastily whipping your eyes. Maekar sighed.
“I am sorry, my lady, for upsetting you.”
Your husband only called you that when he knew he’d done something wrong. He came up beside you, close enough that you could feel his body heat. His lavender eyes pierced you, but you did not give him the satisfaction of contact.
“I only wanted to help.” You bit out, a waver evident in your voice. Maekar stepped closer, coming up behind you and resting his hands on your waist. You wanted so desperately to turn into him, to let him bring you into his arms, but you kept your hands planted on the cool metal rail as he rested his forehead against your hair.
“Why do you even care what some stupid lord says?”
Maekar was silent for a moment, chest rising and falling against your back before he responded:
“It- it is complicated.”
You finally turned to look him in the eye.
“Then help me to understand! It hurts my heart to see you this way.”
His large hands squeezed your hips, before turning you back around, tugging you solidly against him. Strong arms encircled you, keeping you firmly pointed to the sea. Here he was confusing you; where Maekar was usually so confrontational, so combative, now he could not even gaze upon your face. It dawned on you, then, that perhaps he did not want you to see him so vulnerable. You’d learned, over the months of proximity, to read his expressions. The tight clench between his brows when he was perturbed, the set of his jaw when he meant to silence himself, the unrelenting stare he gave you when he needed your touch.
You softened your voice:
“My dear husband, there is nothing you could say that I would upbraid you for. I would have no problem finding Lord Rosby now, let him hear what the Anvil’s wife has to say about him.”
Maekar snorted against the top of your head.
“Do not get yourself into trouble over me, wife, I assure you it is not worth the concern.”
Gently, you gripped his arm that banded across your shoulders.
“It is to me.”
“You are probably the only one who feels that way.”
You leaned farther back into him, tilting your head back in an attempt to read his expression. He was so often cranky, rude, stormy, but his voice now sounded almost insecure. It was not a pleasant noise.
“Surely not! Just tonight, Baelor stood in front of the court and defended you.”
He took a moment to respond.
“My brother could not let our family name be tarnished, nothing more. I do not need him defending me.”
“Do you truly think no one cares for you?”
Maekar’s silence answered your question. Slowly, you wiggled from his grasp, moving to look up at him while staying close. He squeezed his eyes shut at the pain written on your face.
“I have never doubted your affections, sweet girl, but those of my family, I cannot say.”
You waited for him to continue, taking his larger hands in yours. He sighed again, looking out over your head at the water.
“I have struggled-” He gritted his teeth, “To find these words my whole life.”
Your thumb stroked over his knuckles, urging him on.
“It has been difficult living in Baelor’s shadow.”
There it was.
A few words, and an explanation for every tense capital visit, every trip to Dragonstone, every event evolving the dragon house. The gruff armor he wore, defenses up against anyone who dared get too close. Maekar continued:
“It is no secret he is the favorite, and I could not resent anyone for believing so. He is the best of us; I would die to protect him. It does not make it any easier.”
“Make what easier, darling?”
“Everything- everything comes so effortlessly to him. Cleverness, swordsmanship, chivalry, the kind words our mother favors so,” He grimaced, “All things I have had to work tirelessly for. To attain half of what he has, and it is still not enough.”
He leaned forward, pressing his forehead to yours. It was strange, to see him speak so openly of jealousy, of raw emotion he kept so tightly concealed.
“I will never be able to work hard enough to have what the gods gave him so freely.”
“What is it that you desire that you do not have? Are you not happy?”
You took his cheeks in your hands, holding his head against yours.
“Do not doubt what you have done to me; I have not known such happiness in so long. Often, you are the only thing keeping me from running my sword through someone.”
You huffed out a laugh, brushing your fingers through the silver of his beard.
“I am not good with words, wife. I only meant that I fought, tooth and nail, all my youth for the care my mother and father put into him. It has made me forbidible in battle, sure, but only distanced me further. My only wish as a child was for someone to acknowledge my efforts.”
“No one would deny your strength or skill, my love. You have proven to the realm time and time again that you are priceless to our safety. It is thankless, sure, but you have not bent or broken for any hardship.” You answered.
Maekar bent forward, tucking his head against your neck. You slid a hand into his hair, the other finding purchase between your shoulderblades. He wrapped his arms around your middle, clutching you to his body like you might disappear if he loosened his grip.
“In my old age I have understood why I was ignored in favor of him. Baelor is the heir, it is only appropriate to dedicate time to him and his achievements. He is a better man than I will ever be, this I know.”
“You obviously do not know, husband. What do you know of how safe I feel in your arms? How, even when you are strict, our children can be certain that you care for them? Baelor is a good man, sure, but he is not you.”
Maekar released a noise against your throat that you’d never heard from him before.
It almost sounded like a sob.
“I will never stop trying to deserve you, my lovely wife. Even now, so unbecoming of a Prince, and you still treat me with such kindness.”
You pressed a kiss to the side of his head.
“You do not have to be a Prince here, you can simply be mine.”
At your words, Maekar bent, sliding an arm under your knees to pull you up against him. Your arms came around his neck as he brought you back inside.
“Maekar, what are you doing? I am trying to comfort you.” You giggled out, as he laid you on the bed.
“Trust me, dear girl, you have given me more than you know. Let me show you how thankful I am for you.”
Gone was the misty-eyed man from outside; now he gently took your hem in hand, sliding it up your legs to tug the material of your gown over your head. You noticed that he avoided meeting your eye, but you did not mention it. He’d already shone you so much of himself already, you did not want to hurt him more by pressing further. You let him undress you until you were bare, underneath him and covered by his body.
“Will you not kiss me first?”
Your Prince was not one to deny you your pleasure, and leaned down to press his lips to yours. One arm came under your back, pulling you up to meet his mouth. The other hand gripped your face. You whimpered at the intrusion of his tongue, gently lapping against yours as he explored a place he knew so well. Entirely at his mercy, you gripped his shoulders as he pressed his hard thigh against your heat. You rubbed yourself against him, grinding down on his leg as he moved it to meet you.
“It is my job to take care of you, my love,” He mumbled against your lips, “That extends to our marriage bed.”
Maekar kissed across your cheek before sliding his mouth down your neck. He nipped the skin there, sucking what you knew would be a mark tomorrow. You let him continue, secretly enjoying the idea of him claiming you in front of the court. All too soon, he continued to move, pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses down your sternum. He paused, kissing the side of your breast before gently biting the soft flesh.
You whined, and he continued his onslaught of kisses until he was met with the warmth between your legs. Slowly, so slowly, he licked a stripe up your cunt, pressing a kiss to your clit when you arched your back.
“Hush, girl, I will not tease you tonight.”
Then, he devoured you.
Maekar slid his tongue between your folds, lapping at your juices. You groaned and ground your pelvis down against his face when his nose nuzzled your clit.
“Thats it, you’ve been so sweet to me tonight.” He mumbled against you, drawing another whimper from your mouth. His long fingers found your opening, dipping into the warm wetness with a firm thrust. He curled the two digits into you, letting you ride his hand to chase your high. The pads of his fingers found the rough, spongy spot deep inside you that made your toes curl and your head spin, and he latched his mouth firmly to your clit as your thighs began to shake.
“Go on, take it from me.” The vibrations from his deep voice pushed you over the edge. The orgasam crashed through you, shakily moaning his name.
Maekar slowed his movements, removing his fingers but continuing to make out with your pussy. He pressed soft kisses across your inner thighs, licking and nipping the flesh and pausing to suck a mark close to the apex. You attempted to push his head away halfheartedly.
“What happened to no teasing tonight?” You could hear how trembling your voice was.
“I cannot help it, dearest, you have made a beast of me.”
You smiled, gently tugging his hair in an attempt to pull him back up to you. Maekar complied, crawling up your body and pressing a kiss to your lips. So rarely was he this tender, and although he was not smiling, you could see the relief plainly on his face. You could also feel how affected he was by you, throbbing against your inner thigh.
Maekar let out a grunt when you tried to shove at his shoulders.
“I am trying to take care of my bride, you are interrupting.”
You pushed again, smile growing across your face.
“I’m not done comforting you tonight, husband. Lay back and let your wife love you.”
You’d find no complaints from him there. He pushed himself up, arms flexing as he laid beside you, propped up against the soft pillows of your bed. You followed, swinging a leg over his thighs and sandwiching his hard cock between your bodies. He groaned, gripping the fat at your hips and attempting to tug you closer. A hand on his chest stopped him.
“You will let me care for you tonight, my love, as you always care for me.”
Slickness coated the base of his cock and down his balls as you leaned close, kissing across his jaw, down his nose, over his scarred cheeks. As you lavished him in affections, you lifted your hips, leaving one hand on his shoulder and using the other to notch the head of his length at your entrance.
The two of you both let out a groan as you sunk down onto him, sheathing Maekar fully inside. You began rolling your hips, languidly grinding his tip against your cervix. His cock stretched you so beautifully, a delicious tightness only he could give you.
“Maekar, my dearest, you mean so much to me.” You whispered. The Prince pressed his face to your chest, mouth open against your skin as you rode him. Your hands found his silvery locks as his tongue flicked your hardened nipple. He took the bud into his mouth, sucking as he palmed your other breast.
“That’s it, darling. Let me have all of you.”
Your hips stuttered against him, the white thatch of hair on his pelvis rubbing against your clit. You could feel him twitching, his hands hot at your back and his mouth hot on your chest.
“Let go, Maekar, you do not have to prove yourself to me.”
The Anvil came, warmth coating your insides. He held you so tightly, grinding you down onto him to fill you. His thumb rubbed softly at your clit to bring you with him, and you followed him over your own crest. Your body shuddered against him, falling against his chest with your arms around his shoulders.
“My lovely little wife, how good you are to your man.”
“Mmm yes, you are my man.” You kissed his brow, and then his lips. Maekar took your head in his hands as you licked into his mouth. Leisurely, you kissed him a moment longer before tucking your face into his neck. You made no move to remove him from your cunt, allowing the ultimate connection between you for a little longer.
“You will tell me, next time you feel like you cannot keep up, instead of snapping at me, husband.”
Maekar hummed, stroking your back.
“I am sorry, my heart. That was certainly unprincely of me, and when you have been so kind.”
You kissed below his ear, and he shivered.
“You must not mistake my kindness for pity, surely you see how much I love you.”
Maekar took your face in his hands, pulling it back enough to see you.
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