Yeah, No

Description

[gotylocks]

Happy 10th birthday to the best tweet of all time.

[notmusa]

PPL WHO FLY IN THEIR DREAMS

THIS IS VERY INMPORTANT

do u have to flap ur arms? when i fly in my dreams i havef to flap my arms or flying doesnt work. please tell me im nmot the only one

p;ls tell me im not the only one who hast to flap their arms in order to fly in their dreams

[p1ss]

[ejacutastic]

I DIDN’T LEARN ABOUT THIS IN DRIVING SCHOOL

[biszumletzten]

Stop says the red light, go says the green

Wait says the yellow light, twinkling in between. 

KNEEL, SAYS THE DEMON LIGHT WITH ITS EYE OF COAL  SAURON KNOWS YOUR LICENSE PLATE  AND STARES INTO YOUR SOUL

[demonsnakes-deactivated20160829]

THIS IS ALWAYS FUNNY

[brightlotusmoon]

@irritatedlifeguard I agree with your tags.

[tardisman14]

Reblog if, no matter the size of the role, you would agree to work with the Muppets if offered the chance to do so, no questions asked

[byz-was-here]

THEY WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO FINISH THE PITCH BEFORE I TELL EM I’M IN

[mothnem]

Recruiter: Hello, I'm with the Muppets and...

Me: Where do I sign?

[cosmonautroger]

[jerichomere]

Additionally,

[lissagail74]

I'm a librarian. I haven't turned a library book in on time in over a decade.

[sleepycatmama]

One should always have at least 2 craft projects going. That way, when one of them is messed up and misbehaving, you can switch to another, and let the first one sit there and think about what it's done.

[capricorn-0mnikorn]

Sometimes (oftentimes), when a creative project is "misbehaving," it's because it is tired, and overstimulated, and just needs a time out to rest -- like toddlers often need.

And sometimes, you should give your creative projects time to talk to each other, as well as to you.

[nydescynt]

Instructions unclear; my 17 ongoing craft projects have unionized against me.

[handern]

Murderbot, a construct that was built and used to do extreme violence it's entire existence : I hate talking to people but I will try to resolve this situation peacefully if I can, threats only make people panic and then they take irrational decisions. Extreme violence is sometimes unavoidable but last resort.

ART, a peaceful research transportation : I love talking to people because I can threaten them with extreme violence right off the bat and it makes them do what I want (ads more totally-not-weapons to it's research equipment)

[handern]

@lichtenbug you're so right

[browsethestacks]

Still Can...

[werewolf-transgenderism]

hey don't cry. 7,401 species of frog in the world, ok?

[werewolf-transgenderism]

IMPORTANT UPDATE: 7,532 species of frog in the world, ok?!

[werewolf-transgenderism]

great news! 7,556 species of frog in the world, ok?!

[werewolf-transgenderism]

hey don't cry, now there are 7,576 species of frog in the world, ok?!

[werewolf-transgenderism]

excellent news! 7,591 species of frog in the world, peace and love on planet earth

[werewolf-transgenderism]

guess what! 7,624 species of frog on planet earth, ok?

[werewolf-transgenderism]

hey don't cry, 7,645 species of frog on planet earth, ok? peace and love on planet autism

[werewolf-transgenderism]

great news! 7,653 species of frog on planet earth, ok?

[werewolf-transgenderism]

hey don't cry. 7,670 species of frog on planet earth, ok?

[werewolf-transgenderism]

new year new frogs! 7,678 species of frog on planet earth, ok?

[werewolf-transgenderism]

hey don't cry. 7,683 species of frog in the world, ok? ❤️

[werewolf-transgenderism]

hey don't cry. 7,698 species of frog in the world, peace and love on planet earth

[werewolf-transgenderism]

hey don’t cry. 7,701 species of frog in the world, ok?

[wandering-aloneo-o]

@markscherz how many of these do we get to thank you for again?

[markscherz]

95 at present, more on the way :)

[werewolf-transgenderism]

hey don't cry. 95 species of frog discovered by tumblr's own frog scientist dr. mark scherz, ok?

[werewolf-transgenderism]

hey don't cry. 7,758 species of frog in the world, yippee!

[werewolf-transgenderism]

hey don't cry. 7,806 species of frog in the world, ok?

[alliswyattonthewesternfront]

i have such a low threshold for bullshit now that i'm seconds from telling this woman on the crochet subreddit to leave her husband, even though i know it won't end well for me.

she made him a wool hat and stressed repeatedly to him that it couldn't be machine washed. he washed it anyway, destroying her work. she's trying to play it off like a funny anecdote, how it was sweet how sorry and sad he was in the aftermath, but then let it slip this kind of thing has happened multiple times/continues to happen in their relationship, because he refuses to accept her knowledge as a textile artist and constantly ruins the nice things she makes or buys for either of them. i think he should be killed.

[beyondthisdarkhouse]

#Some people think they can evade the sweater curse by slapping their hands over their ears and yelling over it #But that curse sure is working to discover what a wretch your man is (by @grison-in-space )

That’s when you go “I basically spent 100 hours straight thinking about this bastard while making something amazing for him, and I have no evidence that he ever spent 10 hours of his life thinking about me.” - @elodieunderglass (source)

[elodieunderglass]

Oh the sweater curse post!

[homunculus-argument]

Just because your sister genuinely would hide teeth in your food doesn’t mean anyone else’s would

Lol

Would your older sibling hide teeth in your food just to fuck with you?

No/not anymore

Yes/they would have as a kid

I am an older sibling and I would never do that to my siblings

I am an older sibling and I would have done that as a child, fuck them kids

Voting ended onJan 2, 2025

[kaijutegu]

I'm an older sibling and I've... done that.

Granted the teeth were 3D printed, but that's definitely something I've done and will probably do again.

[lissagail74]

I am 50 years old and now I want to know where to get 3d printed teeth so I can do that to my little sister.

[arrowheadedbitch]

I just accidentally made un-tea?????

I made green tea, but I forgot there was an old bag of chai in the kettle, so I mixed chai water with decaf green tea, then I mixed in like a half table spoon or something of that honey from the dollar store that they aren't legally allowed to call honey because there's too much corn syrup in it and some almond milk and a single drop of coffee creamer because we ran out and???? It tastes like??? Nothing????

It has LESS flavor than my tap water! HOW do you EVEN-

I think I made a flavor that's only perceptible to shrimp, that's the only explanation

[arrowheadedbitch]

It tried to make it again and I somehow made milk???? I used almond milk but it tastes like whole milk???? Like straight from the fucking tit what the fuck, HOW DID I MAKE LACTOSE FREE MILK WTF WTF HOWWW

[fwoosheye]

Pretty sure OP are on their way to become a modern alchemist

[arrowheadedbitch]

Halp

[doublemyheight]

New tumblr recipe dropped gang inform strange aeons

[arrowheadedbitch]

Oh dear

[the-tired-ish-rat]

don't worry arrow I believe in you, you can make your tea. wait what's this cup- aaaææÆGHHH

[arrowheadedbitch]

Please stop trying to curse me

[arrowheadedbitch]

I made more untea, god help me

[arrowheadedbitch]

I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU GUYS TO *STOP* TRYING TO CURSE ME

[arrowheadedbitch]

YOU

[arrowheadedbitch]

Okay, my most popular post is a 20k Tim Drake post, you can't get this to a 100k that's actually ridiculous. Good luck doing the impossible, babes

[talesfromtreatment]

"This is my cattle dog"

Did you mean your rat terrier or fox terrier mix?

"This is my German shepherd"

Did you mean your brindle bully breed mix?

"This is my maine coon"

Did you mean your morbidly obese long haired tabby?

Wonder what else we're going to get...

[talesfromtreatment]

Great way to truly irritate those people is to call their silver lab a weimaraner mix XD "it's pure lab!!!!" Not with that head shape, and enormous pendulous ears it isn't

Honorable mentions go to describing himalayans as "colorpoint persians" and exotic shorthairs as "short-haired persians"... even though it's also absolutely true.

[lissagail74]

Last time I had to take my poorly bred doxie to emergency vet, I didn't start off with "this is my dachshund" it was "this is my problem child. She is sooo stupid"

All the folks at the eVet agreed that she was very stupid and very cute, and that's way more important than designer breeds or whatever.

[xhartbigx]

Reblog if you’re over 20 and still read/write fan fiction.

I’m curious!

[lissagail74]

Bitch I am 50 and still reading.

[dailyflicks]

Ah. I know. You’re wondering… what is a place like me doing in a girl like this?

The Mummy (1999) dir. Stephen Sommers

[dduane]

Will always reblog. :)

[club-cryptid-by-sarah]

[technofeudalism]

Police cruiser crashes into south St. Louis City bar overnight

A St. Louis police cruiser crashed into a south St. Louis bar overnight, and that’s just the beginning of the story.

you almost can’t make this shit up.

the police drive their SUV into a gay couples place of business and then proceeds to arrest one of them for refusing to show identification. allegedly they were swerving to avoid a dog which totally exists

what kind of shit is this.

[technofeudalism]

sorry i drove through your bar but uhhhhh can i see some identification please

[technofeudalism]

hey this gets worse

apparently one of the owners of the bar are still in police custody and had been moved 3 different times overnight before being finally booked in to central booking at 9am this morning.

yes, one of the owners who had their bar destroyed.

[technofeudalism]

another article that isn’t copaganda

St. Louis Police Crash Into LGBTQ Bar, Arrest Its Owner

James Pence says police handcuffed both him and co-owner Chad Wick — and then arrested Wick

[technofeudalism]

apparently one of the transfers was to the hospital because three cops jumped this man after driving through his business. can anyone explain why someone would go from south district, then to the hospital, then the to north district and then central booking?

[lissagail74]

To make it harder to get a lawyer to him in a timely manner.