Inside the mind of social media addiction

An Analysis of Suicide, Watch by Nafissa Thompson-Spires

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“What did she have to show for her life, other than the near perfections of her appearance?” : The Need for Validation

Social media is becoming an increasingly addictive source of validation for young people. It offers a form of instant gratification that, as it’s becoming clear now, is extremely harmful to those whose brains are still developing. These apps are even more detrimental to those with addictive personalities and pre-existing mental conditions. The effects of social media on mental health are something that is becoming more and more worrying every day. This fear is best shown in the short story Suicide, Watch, by Nafissa Thompson-Spires. The purpose of this blog is to show how the story Suicide, Watch explores ideas of identity and isolation through the lens of social media. While on the surface, it seems like the main character, Jilly, is just a lonely, attention-seeking person with a bad social media habit, in Suicide, Watch, Nafissa Thompson-Spires explores this character’s mental illness and the true dangers of social media addiction. Using style references, and a transparent perspective of the main character, Thompson-Spires shows how oblivious Jilly is, and the very ironic ending reflects the inevitable effects of social media.

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What is Suicide, Watch?

     Suicide, Watch is a short story written by Nafissa Thompson-Spires and was published, alongside 11 other stories, in her book Heads of Colored People. This story follows Jilly, an appearances obsessed young black woman, who has just posted her suicide note online as a Facebook status. Thompson-Spires explores Jilly’s mind through her justification of her suicide, her relationships (or lack thereof), her deeply shallow perspective of the world, and her final decision not to kill herself. The story concludes with her unintentionally offing herself in a way that is directly connected to her addiction. This is a well-written, thought-provoking story, one that has much to say on the dangers of social media addiction. A big point of exploration with this story is specifically how social media addiction affects an already mentally ill mind.

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“You aren’t depressed, just narcissistic”: Tone and perspective.

     Thompson-Spires uses a dry, almost cynical tone throughout this story, giving the events a more comical, lighthearted feeling than they should have. This feeling highlights how truly shallow the main character is. This perspective provides the audience with all of Jilly’s thoughts and feelings, which makes it clear that almost all of them come back to her need for attention. At one point Jilly remarks that, “Nothing was more fulfilling, it occurred to her, than giving back to others and letting people know about it,” (Thompson-Spires 117). Even when contemplating volunteering again, she still only thinks about how it can benefit her. Because of her narcissistic nature, nothing Jilly does can ever be done in private, and social media has given her an unhealthy outlet for the need. Even if the audience wasn’t directly told Jilly was a narcissist, it would still become clear because of Thompson-Spires’ narration. In this story, Jilly considers many different methods for killing herself, thinking mostly about what would be the prettiest and most aesthetic way to go. She spends much of her time thinking about “the best place to be found with slit wrists,” (Thompson-Spires 109) and figures that if an overdose attempt fails and, “she had to get her stomach pumped, she would lose at least ten pounds,” (Thompson-Spires 110). She doesn’t even care if her plans work or not; she only cares about how it might make her look. Once again, nothing Jilly does can be done in private; everything has to be posted online. The knowledge Thompson-Spires gives the reader about Jilly’s brain is fundamental to this story. The audience gets to see how shallow she is and how, through all these thoughts, she never gives any emotional reason to end her life. Jilly has been pushed to the furthest point of social media addiction and does not seem to care about any of the consequences of her actions. Her superficial nature represents how, on the whole, social media has ruined many people’s perspective of the world, and how some people only see things in terms of likes and comments. It’s truly troubling to be in the mind of someone so short-sighted, and to read about these awful events in such a cynical and sometimes humorous tone. It leaves a lingering feel of disgust for sites like Facebook, and truly helps the message get across about the dangers of social media addiction. It is especially clear that social media is made even more dangerous for Jilly because of her naturally attention-seeking mind.

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“Peep this foos”: style and authenticity 

     In this story, Thompson-Spires uses references to style, music, and pop culture to show the effects of a self-imposed “digital panopticon.” The idea of a digital panopticon is one created by Joel Wong in his article The Digital Panopticon: How Social Media Mirrors Bentham’s Watchtower. He describes it as the online phenomenon of always acting in a superficial way online, even while not being actively observed. This causes a form of self-surveillance in ourselves, so that we perform for an audience that isn't even there. This paradox can be perfectly seen in Jilly, who is always performing for an audience that doesn't seem to care about her. She does this especially with how she uses pop culture references online. Jilly uses style and music as a way to get more attention, even if it is not authentic to herself. Jilly remarked that if she were to “run a content analysis of the style and type of posts that got the most responses, it would emerge that faux ebonics always ranked right,” (Thompson-Spires 114). She also reflects on her most popular post, which is a selfie of her in a bandeau top and short skirt doing an exaggerated duck-lips expression. Not long after thinking this, Jilly starts preparing lunch and takes out a porcelain bowl printed with kawaii lollipops and matching utensils. While the style/faux AAVE she uses online and kawaii dishware are definitely not mutually exclusive, we get the feeling that, with her attention-seeking nature, she might use a different style online than what she uses in real life. Presenting a different style and set of interests online than what one might actually enjoy is not uncommon, but it is just one part of the larger picture of how social media is damaging. It causes someone to change themselves, to change their own identity. Thompson-Spires doesn’t tell the audience much about Jilly in terms of an identity. There isn’t really anything known about her interests or hobbies. Online, Jilly makes posts about Shonda Rhimes shows and cute cat videos, but it is unclear if these are things she actually likes or if it’s what she knows will get the most engagement. Thompson-Spires uses these little allusions to media and style to show how Jilly has tried to take from things in pop culture to make up her identity. The way Jilly lives her life is by finding whatever is most popular and using that to gain attention. Like in the digital panopticon, Jilly is constantly performing, changing herself, and posting for an audience that doesn’t seem to actually care about her. This performance has gone so far that Jilly doesn’t have much of an identity outside of it.

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“She was not going to kill herself”: a dark and ironic ending.

     The ending of Suicide, Watch is what brings everything full circle. It is comically sad and ironic, showing us how self-destructive a social media addiction can be. Jilly’s terrible fate is set up earlier in the story when she puts her phone in the microwave because “the act of having to retrieve the phone was supposed to be such a bother that she’d get tired of doing it,” (Thompson-Spires 109). Jilly knows she has issues and is trying in some way to curb them; however, this doesn’t really work because she opens Facebook on her laptop a few minutes later. It’s kind of sad, seeing that Jilly knows she has a problem, but does not take the proper steps to fix it. Similar to how most people who use social media are aware of the negative effects of it, but still use it anyway. No amount of self-awareness seems to be able to protect from the harm of social media addiction. Especially not for Jilly. Towards the end of her story, Jilly decides she’s not going to kill herself because, “what good was a funeral if she couldn’t […] witness the mourners and see how much they loved her,” (Thompson-Spires 116). Even though she has decided to live another day, her addiction to social media still manages to take her life. It’s Jilly placing her phone in the microwave that ends up killing her. She forgets it’s there when decides to make herself some instant ramen. It’s an ironic end for Jilly, seeing as her phone, is what ends up offing her. Especially so when she had decided moments before that she wouldn’t kill herself. This ending represents how self-destructive addiction can be; even if you are attempting to get better, it might be too late. This ending is ironic in every sense of the word. The audience still remembers where Jilly put her phone, but she doesn’t. Even though throughout the entire story Jilly was telling us that, essentially, she was going to off herself because of her social media addiction, the ending still comes as a shock to us. The irony of this moment just goes to show the dangers of social media, representing that it can hurt us in ways we didn’t realize.

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“It came in four red pops, like notifications, like friend requests.”: conclusion

     Suicide, Watch is a masterclass in storytelling, using a sardonic tone, shocking ending, and popular culture to show the harmful effects of social media addiction and how it can shape an identity through self-destructive means. Thompson-Spires' characteristically self-aware and dry form of narration gives us a glimpse into Jilly's mind, showing us how truly shallow she is, and she expresses that through social media. Jilly is not only shallow but inauthentic, acting in “faux ebonics” to get more likes, even if that betrays her own personal style. Her ending is so fitting for her character that, while sad, one can’t help but appreciate it. Jilly got exactly what she wanted in the end. Nafissa Thompson-Spires has shown social media in its darkest and most dangerous form, naturally, only being able to conclude with the destruction of a person with whom it is consumed.

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Works Cited

Thompson-Spires, Nafissa. “Suicide, Watch.” Heads of the Colored People, Atria/37 Ink, 201, pp. 73-79

Wong, Joel. “The Digital Panopticon: How Social Media Mirrors Bentham’s Watchtower.” Medium, 10 Oct. 2024, medium.com/@joel_wong/the-digital-panopticon-how-social-media-mirrors-benthams-watchtower-1c05df2b26b8.