Makeup wearing | Angst + Comfort
Taglist: @pastel-princess-please @kiki-woo @fishsquishh
It felt like the two of you had been waiting for this event for longer than you’d been together. That wasn’t the case of course, but there was nothing more important to Jihoon. More than his career and his relationship with you, than the critical decision to finally go public with you. The announcement of your attendance to the biggest awards show in the Korean entertainment industry had been released to the public just a month before and each day since had passed incredibly slow, anticipation flipping back and forth from excitement to nauseating anxiety and back again. He’d shield your eyes and ears from those spreading hate so you would only be surrounded with the rosy glow of all his fans and friends who supported the two of you wholeheartedly. Anything to lessen the pressure.
It had helped, he had helped. But with the day finally upon you, honestly it hadn’t felt real. A good morning kiss from Jihoon and another before he left for work as usual. But it wasn’t as usual, you both had a big day ahead of you. The pressure still monumental.
“Today’s the day. Still sleepy, baby?” He’d shared a thoughtful smile with you when he stopped by for his final goodbye kiss for the day, your eyes still closed, not quite awake yet.
He’d let you sleep in a little longer, knowing you had a million alarms and the two of you had planned everything down to your eye makeup for this event. It would be okay… everything would be fine. As he collected the rest of his things, closing the door quietly so he wouldn’t wake you, Jihoon’s mind wandered, thinking unwillingly, dolefully of all the support they’d lost. It was worth it, without a doubt. But still, he hadn’t taken even a second to mourn, looking away, scrolling past, putting down his phone as to not expose you or make you any more anxious than you already were. So you’d never have to worry that he might regret his choice for a single second. Jihoon wanted this, to share his world with you, and you with the world. It was time.
Waking up without him was more common than you liked but at the same time, both you and Jihoon liked your ‘You time’. You took your time getting up, stretching and basking in the sun a moment as you open the curtains in your room on your way to the bathroom. Then onto the most important meal of the day, you chopped fruit for your cereal and took your place in front of the television and put on your latest favorite show.
When you finally opened your eyes for the morning, the curtains were shut, leaving the rooms comfortable, dim darkness. Perfect for sleeping until noon, you learned as you picked up your phone, rolling over to find the bedside next to you, made up neatly as usual. Jihoon was a little too good at sneaking out without waking you. But you appreciated it. Sleeping in when you could wasn’t rare, but it was always a treat.
Taking your time, a little before noon you finally rolled out of bed, opening your curtains and standing in the warmth of the rising sun just a little longer before starting your morning routine; brushing your teeth, breakfast, getting dressed for the day. You skipped the last part, settling for a bowl of cereal in front of the television, comfortable in your pajamas.
A few hours later you realized you overestimated how long you would be able to sit in front of the tv and do nothing, finding yourself pulling your hair back and scanning your apartment. Seeing your abandoned bowl on the counter you got to washing dishes first, moving around your kitchen, wiping counters until light clutter here and there lead you through each of the rooms in your home. All tucker out, you crashed again on the sofa, still in your pjs and only an hour and a half burned, 3 to go. A ding from your phone caught your attention.
‘Good morning, beautiful. Did you eat yet?? I’m getting lunch with some of the guys now’ - 🍚 my rice boy 🍚
Smiling to yourself you pushed down the urge to reply snarkily that it was in fact; no longer morning.
‘I had breakfast a few hours ago! Just got done cleaning the entire house 🙈😝 send help I’m actually bored out of my mind’
Pushing send you glanced around again, maybe you’d missed something, but apparently your mind was hellbent not to relax during your only downtime. Not long after, your phone dinged again.
‘Maybe watch a few episodes of that show you’ve been trying to get to? I’ll see you later 🫰’ - 🍚 my rice boy 🍚
You found yourself smiling again at his sign off. Jihoon had come far from his dry texting days, with your help of course. To others it didn’t seem like much but they weren’t there to see the frequent ‘👍’ and ‘yes/no’ to questions that definitely needed elaboration. He always insisted he was more of a phone call type of guy. Somehow this same man was writing and producing award winning albums for an internationally famous KPOP group.
Setting your phone down on the glass coffee table, you swapped it out for the remote again, and began scrolling through Netflix. If you watched the new drama you’d been wanting to finish, you wouldn’t be able to relax or pull yourself away. You mumbled mindlessly to yourself, settling on a show you’d watched more than a couple times now, possibly more than you could count on two hands. It was comforting and while it wasn’t around when you were growing up, it gave you the same nostalgic feeling. While the intro played, you stood to fetch yourself a drink, grabbing your favorite plush before you headed back to the living room to plop on the sofa, baby blue mug in hand just in time for the intro to end.
Curling around your plush, you found yourself stretching out, resting your head on a throw pillow as the second and third episodes rolled around. It was too late when you became conscious of your heavy eyelids and tired body, your eyes already fluttering shut.
Some time later a warm hand shifted on your tummy, big, strong arms squeezing you slightly, just enough to pull you to his body, a safe cocoon around you. When your eyes blinked open, your vision, the room - no - the world was hazy. When had you moved to your bed? And when had Jihoon come home. Thoughts didn’t stick in your mind long, brushed away by the fuzzy, warm feelings surrounding you, coating every touch, sound, even his smell.
“You think too much.” He muttered, lips against your ear, still half asleep. He always seemed to know when you were awake, even if you were completely still.
Your cheeks tingled, your lips stretching into a sleepy smile as you shimmied and twisted to face him.
“Aah, no.”, he complained, eyebrows creasing as he closed his eyes even tighter, feeling quite noncompliant to your decision to wake up, “I can’t even cuddle you??”
“Ehehe.. You can…”, you giggled when he allowed you, even welcomed you rubbing your nose against his, “But you’re gonna be mad..”
Jihoon opened his eyes, looking at you quizzically. His silly expression only making you laugh more.
“I gotta pee!!” you squealed, squirming out of his hold.
Still groggy, he grasped what he could of you, your warmth quickly leaving the moment you shifted from his chest. A series of desperate, complaining ‘no’s repeating as he fought with you and the blankets to keep you in his arms a little longer.
The front door slammed as Jihoon strode urgently through your apartment, not stopping to remove his shoes as he threw his bag to the floor. His mind hardly registered you rousing from your sleep on the sofa as he passed you to tear through your room, his clothes, and anything in his way so uncharacteristically. Each harsh clatter of clothes hangers or thud of a shoe made your heart jump a little as you rubbed the sleepy from your eyes, anxious and confused. Your hands tightened almost painfully around the soft fabric of your blanket, squeezing and pulling it to your chest as you listened. You still hadn’t collect your thoughts, only anxiously wondering what could have made him so mad.
Not long later he was trudge back to the living room, his stylists could take care of the rest. Just when he thought he couldn’t lose his head anymore, you were still sitting on the sofa, your hair a mess, in your Saturday pajamas.
“Y/n-“, he held his head, turning away from you to take a breath but a quick glance at his watch and he was boiling.
“Why are you..?” Your words wouldn’t come out, your voice trapped in your lungs as your eyes flittered over his composure, nearly trembling with an anger that frightened you, silenced you.
“What do you mean why am I-“, how you could ask that was baffling to him, “Where is your head? We don’t have time.”
Your eyes stung with tears as he stepped toward you, and you could only try not to cry pathetically as he picked you up and carried you to the bathroom. He wasn’t angry. He wasn’t. He repeated that over and over in his head. There was just no time. Small and insignificant couldn’t begin to describe the feeling you were drowning in, the ache of fear in your heart of the one person who always made you feel safe. You watched him speed around, fetching your clothes, fixing your hair and makeup. Looking right through you.
“Y/n, we cannot do this right now. PLEASE.” He did look at you this time, right into your eyes. But you didn’t recognize this man. And that was all it took.
The makeup he applied streaked down your cheek, one tear, two, and soon your face was a streaky mess. Worse off, he took a step back when he realized his first thought was regret that he hadn’t chosen a waterproof mascara.
“SHIT!” He cursed, not sure at what. Not at you. But all you heard was your Appa yelling and cursing at you.
“I don’t wanna!!” Sobbing, you squirmed out of your dress, plopped onto the bathroom floor and just wailed.
He was on the verge of pulling out his hair, his mind whirring, messy, but the sound of your cry rang clear. None of this mattered at all without you.
“Baby-“ he sighed, softening. But maybe too stubborn or just plain distraught you continued to sob and fret.
“Baby, look at me.”, Jihoon grabbed your face in his hands, he needed you to focus even knowing it would be so hard at a time like this, “Appa is not mad.”
Blinking, tears still dripping from your eyelashes, how could you believe him? He only held your face like this when you got into trouble or when you had serious talks.
“I made Appa late…” your voice shook as you worked your little mind around the situation, each word threatening to turn into a cry and then a wail.
“No, baby.”, he did his best to fruitlessly catch your tears with his thumbs, “Appa made Appa late.”
Your sobs stopped in confusion. Eyes still blurry, you blinked away your tears until you could see him clearly. The confusion only grew seeing a soft smile, a sad look still in his eyes while he looked over your puffy, teary features.
“I got caught up in the studio. Same old story, right? I was thinking about you, about us. This is a big night for us, isn’t it?”
A handful of words could only do so much couldn’t they? But these words were pure and potent, a spell strong enough to calm your mind. They were true, he should have been home with more than enough time to wake you and get ready alongside you tonight. Jihoon continued, slowly working at your hair as he spoke.
“I was writing a song I want you to hear someday. Words and melodies that make me think of you. Once I started recording, I guess time got away from me.” Finished with your hair, he used a cotton pad soaked in makeup remover to clean up your eye makeup.
“That wasn’t fair of Appa, huh? This isn’t your fault, kiddo”, he gave you a kiss before tapping some pink gloss on your pouting lips. To his surprise, you took his hand in both of yours with the sweetest expression, your watery eyes big when you spoke.
“It’s okay, Appa. It’ll be okay.”
He could help but laugh and kiss your head. His lips pressed firmly against the top of your head, eyebrows scrunched together, he hoped you could feel every ounce of love he had for you.
“Okay, baby-”, he held your face between his hands again, serious time had returned, this time much less scary now that you’d calmed down, “Can you be big for Appa, tonight?”
Nodding as he squished your cheeks, you sat up straight speedily, letting him help you get ready for your big evening. The stylist would have to forgive him for being late this time. Everything would be okay as long as he had you.
🧸Endnote: was it worth it being so late? 🙈 I’ve been working on this fic since before Woozi day 💔 I really love it though he always hitting me with the feels 💘 I really wanted to take my time with this as well since it’s such a sensitive area, I wanted to make sure I portrayed how I view our Hoonie the very best I could ㅠ ㅠ somehow it feels a little silly but I wanted to express it in a way that shows him as a caregiver needing you as much as you need him AKA nellie is just a simp 😭💖 ~ 🐶🐰🍓
