when we all fall asleep where do we go

Michael Darling | 18 | Student

[littledarlingmichael]

youthfulncss‌:

“Freak out…?” She’s a bit irate at that comment but buries the thought under another smile. Like it’s another joke. As if this was two sided. It clearly wasn’t, but she could pretend. He’s making faces, she realizes, and it feels a bit funny. Until he looks steely and he goes into a direction she hadn’t realized. Oh, exciting. He’s steeling himself against her brand of needling. “Oh, and what… could you mean by that?” Her smile thins, a bit more empty, a bit less… entertained. “I’m not sure… what you’re talking about. Or what you mean. But Mr Darling, it’s a bit unsettling,” she says, her voice kind enough, but not kind at all. “What are you trying to say?”

Michael nodded as casually as he could. Freak out was the word he’d use. “Yeah, y’know. Get mad about it.” Madder than a teacher probably should be about something as easy for a teenager to do as fuck up a plant. He didn’t know a single person his age that could keep up with more than a cactus. And then he crossed his arms, book resting over his chest loosely. He still had to do his best to not give her ideas. “I mean it’s a good idea you can’t bring poison plants to school. Health hazard for everyone, I reckon.” And Michael raised an eyebrow. “I mean, I’ve heard about teachers over here gettin’ stuff put in their tea on the news, you can’t be too careful.” He doubted that any one of her students would actually poison her, but maybe so far she’d just freaked out nice kids like himself, who would only ever think about it.

[littledarlingmichael]

youthfulncss‌:

“Ah,” Emily said, eyes brightening at the interest in the subject, “history is a marvelous topic. Filled with so much… depth. Rich context for a variety of movements and ceremony. Tragedy too, unfortunately.” She doesn’t seem too perturbed by the word tragedy though. And all of those messy implications. “And plant thing?” She looks at him, quizzically. Like that look you give someone if you’re suspicious of them. She wasn’t. But she enjoyed the unsettling reaction it often elicited. “Oh, yes, well. The teaching of… plants. Biology, botany, agriculture… fascinating really. In fact, the field has… evolved… quite a bit lately. Especially in the realm of… plant poisons?” She gives him a searching look. It lasts… a bit too long, perhaps, before she looks surprised with herself and she says, quickly, “Or, pesticides..! Erm– pesticides I suppose the–uh–scientific term should be. Poisonous plants are also interesting though. Poisonous plants… much too dangerous to bring into class. Wouldn’t that have been interesting, though. If I were allowed, I might have brought in a wider variety of plant species to study. Though…” her voice slows from her excitable pace to a low hum. It’s slow, deliberate, though not menacing quite, “… I don’t quite know how Huey–your close friend, isn’t he?–would have done around poisonous plants. Could have been quite dangerous…” She smiles innocently, like a friendly joke, “… since he would roughhouse in the greenhouse, I mean. How is he, anyways? You two are still close, aren’t you?”

“Right...” Michael mumbled, clapping his hand onto the cover of his book to hear the thump, feeling fairly awkward. Mostly, Michael liked history because it was just...interesting, and he’d never really thought in depth about it. Normally, the look she shot him about the plants would set him off, but he just shrugged this time. He knew she liked plants, so ‘plant thing’ would do it. “Yeah, knew you liked ‘em enough to freak out on some people for messing with them,” he said casually. And maybe it wasn’t a ‘freak out’, but he knew it didn’t go well with Huey, and maybe he felt a little protective of his first...real friend. Michael did end up squinting a bit when she lingered on poisons, and he really had to hope she never visited the poison gardens back home. And then she basically threatened Huey, or it was an implication, and Michael felt a shot of bravery go through him, making him stand up straight and frown a bit. “Well, you know teenagers. You brought ‘em in and pissed someone right off, they might’ve put some in one of your drinks.” Had that been a counter threat? Had he gone there? Maybe he had. Shit. “It’s America, after all, I hear that kind of thing happens.” And when she asked about Huey, how he was, Michael shrugged. “He’s fine, I reckon.”

[littledarlingmichael]

hubertxduckington‌:

Huey smiled a bit. “Yeah. It was fun. It was nice to have something to like, work towards and like, that was just my own thing, you know? Like I love my brothers and I love doing things with them, but it’s nice to have at least one thing that’s all your own.” Huey rambled for a bit. “But, hey, if you ever wanted a scouting experience, we could do like, a makeshift scout camp thing, just you and me. Give you that experience and stuff?” He looked at Michael, not sure if there was a self-deprecating comment in there or what. “Trust me, I’m plenty useless at a lot of other things. Like pre-calc? No thanks. Honestly, it’s a miracle I graduated.” He chuckled a bit, giving Michael a smile. Huey nodded, looking down briefly. “Yeah, holidays get wild. But, now I don’t have much going on ever, so I’m free pretty much all the time.” Did that sound desperate? He sure hoped it didn’t. Huey gently clapped his fingertips together as Michael got on the board. “Oh, I’m totally going to be waiting with bated breath. My hopes are through the roof right now, man,” he jested a bit, a lopsided grin stretching across his face. “Seriously, though, just do your best; it doesn’t matter if it’s perfect as long as you’re doing all that you can.”

“Oh, for sure!” Michael knew all about trying not to be like your siblings, but the pressure for that must have been worse when you all looked alike. At least for Wendy, she was a girl, and for John...well, Michael wasn’t always the chillest person ever, but he wasn’t his brother there. “For real? I’d love that, I’ve never been properly camping!” Of course, he’d built forts in the park before, but he’d never...camped. In England, most camping meant you had to have a caravan, and as far as he could tell, American camping was way more fun. “Oh, I can’t do pre-calc either...But nah, I meant like...knowing first-aid’s really useful for emergencies. Like...All I know to do is stick a plaster on and call someone who could help.” He had an element of help, but it wasn’t first-aid. “Free all the time? That makes both of us, I didn’t sign up for anything this semester. Mum let me have a gap.” And was that partially because he had possibly had a bit of an education-related breakdown over the holidays? Yes. “Alright, alright, here’s your ollie, mate.” Laughing quietly to himself, Michael pushed off, went a distance, popped up over a stick some kid had left around, and turned back. “See? If I could do a kickflip, then we’d have it.”

[littledarlingmichael]

youthfulncss‌:

Gertrude regards the book with a curious smile. “Ah. Perfectly haunting, if I do say so myself. Well, then. It is a good… contemporary read.” She smiles a half smirking smile at him, though it is not malicious so much as teasing. Or so it appears. She couldn’t expect anyone to really want to call Johnny Got His Gun contemporary, exactly. Well, aside from her. She’d been alive during the book release. Fun times, fun times. Anyhow… “A fan of historical novels, are you, Mr Darling?” She asks, and the question might be posed… why is she still here? Gertrude may answer that internally on her own. She enjoyed the tension. Thrived on that uncertainty. “I’m quite interested in history myself. I think if I shouldn’t have gone the path of… botany and biology, I may have fancied myself an… observer of sorts… in historical matters. All… through extensive study of course. Who am I to claim any sort of… historical expertise?”

Every time he thought Miss Mutter couldn’t say anything more witchy than she already did, Michael heard her call things like Johnny Got His Gun ‘contemporary’. Nobody called it contemporary, it was older than most of the old books that kids in the US had to read for their English classes. Either way, he decided it would be safe to ignore that and sort of answer her question. “Yeah, history’s my favorite,” he told her, just a little bit shy of shortly. That much was true, and gave him a bit of wiggle room to work with in case she said anything else weird. Which, of course she did, with the observer comment. Michael wished it wasn’t rude to ask adults how old they were. “Well, I figure your whole plant thing’s working for you, yeah?” he returned, the main image he had in his mind being her in some dungeon, using whatever weird plants witches ended up using in their potions to keep themselves young. “Besides, you can figure out plant stuff easy, I bet. Lot of history just got messed up.”

[youthfulncss]

( @littledarlingmichael​ ). || she thought about it. killing him, that is. of course, not in… earnest. not actually. he may be obnoxious. but he… was never enough of a nuisance for gertrude to seriously–seriously–consider harming him. but she was restless. and she could only assume he was as well because every now and again she would spot him and what on earth would he ever want to do anywhere she was. (especially since… she was there.) she still laughs privately, with a sort of twisted edge in the humour, about his conviction that she was a witch. he wasn’t entirely wrong, per se. but it was inaccurate of a technical sense. that was probably why she didn’t like him, now that she thought of it. She peeks around a bookcase in the bookstore, wondering if he’d noticed her. (or if that was why he was here?) she shouldn’t be so conceded. but she also can’t help it. she’s behind him at the border of a comfortable distance, the closer to unsettling side as she leans over to check his book, and with no amount of subtly asks, “what’s that you’re reading then, Mr Darling?” 

[littledarlingmichael]

Michael was off, mind anywhere but where he actually was standing, turning a randomly picked historical fiction book over in his hands, fingers flipping pages to have something to do. He needed something to read, something to distract him that wouldn’t end up with him being in pain, but he couldn’t tell if he was going to be able to focus on this book or not. He’d read longer stuff, but...it was always hard to tell where he was going to be. Of course, in his head, he didn’t notice the presence of Ms. Mutter until she spoke, and then he jumped, pretty dramatically. Could witches teleport? “Uh. H-hi,” he managed to mumble, before holding up the book so she could read the title. “It’s Johnny Got His Gun.”

[littledarlingmichael]

hubertxduckington‌:

Huey laughed a bit, looking down for a moment, trying to hide his own little blush at Michael’s grin. “I’m sure you’re better at more than just crashing,” he said. “Well, that’s good that you’ve got them covered, um… so they don’t get infected or anything,” that was a weird thing to say, and he knew it was. Huey laughed at his own awkwardness. “I, um, I’ve gotten a lot of first aid badges and taken lots of those classes for, um, for Scouts. So, like… I probably know too much about that kinda stuff.” He felt like his skin was crawling; like he was trying to escape his own body. He didn’t want to feel awkward around Michael. Huey shrugged. “It was just different, I guess. I, um… We should definitely hang out more again.” Huey looked at Michael with a bit of a smile. “I’m sure you’re better than me,” he chuckled. “And maybe I will. But not until you show me your ollie,” he said with a grin.

Michael shrugged, doing his absolute best to not be terribly awkward. “Not much, but I guess I’ll get there,” he replied, and hoped that sounded positive enough. “Yeah, I’m trying to not have anything drop off before I die,” he joked, and it was a little bit true. He never had wanted to go slowly. “Aw, really? That’s cool, I never got in on Scouts. Read the book.” But then, being a city boy, he’d gone and done other things. “First-aid’s cool stuff, though, y’know? Means you’ll never be useless.” Ducking his head down a bit, just out of habit, Michael let his board rest on the ground, before he grinned up at Huey, even though he was sort of nervous about fucking up so grandly again. “Yeah, we should. I was gonna ask earlier, but I figured holidays were busy.” For other people, they usually were, and...well, Michael had been thinking a lot of things. “And I’ll show you the ollie but you’ve gotta know it’s gonna be rubbish, so don’t get your hopes up,” he chuckled, planting his foot onto his board.

[littledarlingmichael]

hubertxduckington‌:

Huey just nodded. He thought he could be cooler than he was being. More casual and laid back, like this was a normal interaction. But he was really struggling. “Okay, cool, cool,” he said with another nod. “Oh, cool. I haven’t had one since I was like, twelve and broke it. Was never really that good either,” he said with a bit of a laugh. “I mean, can’t even tell it’s been that long for you. You crashed into me quite gracefully,” he grinned. “Well… fine is better than bad. Mine were alright. Kinda weird with my uncle not really talking to his girlfriend. I, um… It’s good to see you again. I missed hanging out.” Which was true. The last few times had been awkward and they had been so long ago he wasn’t sure if that meant something bad. He hoped not. “So… you still know any tricks on that thing?” 

Well, it wasn’t like Michael was going to continue on his impressive streak of making things awkward. At least not on purpose. So he just grinned and ignored the fact that he was probably blushing a little bit. He’d just chalk it up to...the sun or something. “Well, it’s the crashing that I’ve gotten good at. I know you can’t see through these jeans but I am covered in bandaids.” A good chunk of the box of the Pokemon ones he’d found at the store, but he didn’t have to mention that. “Aw, that sounds like it sucked...but I missed hanging out, too.” And not only because he would take any excuse not to be home. “Uh...I can sorta ollie, it’s not great though. You wanna try it?”

[littledarlingmichael]

hubertxduckington‌:

He didn’t expect to run into Michael, and definitely not this literally. “It’s all good,” he said, brushing himself off as he got up. He looked himself over and he was fine. Huey looked up to Michael. He was standing close, wasn’t he? Fuck. He should probably step back, shouldn’t he? In his panic of realizing he was close and this awkward, he straightened Michael’s jacket, which he didn’t really need to do, he just felt like he needed to do something if he was still standing close enough that he was practically on the skateboard. “That was weird of me, I am so sorry,” Huey said, finally stepping back. He chuckled a little awkwardly. “Cool board, was it a gift? How um, how’d the holiday’s go?” Huey honestly wished he could be normal for like, five minutes sometimes. It’d just been a bit since he’d seen Michael, and part of him felt like maybe it was his own fault.

Michael didn’t let the worried sort of cringe drop off his face until he got an ‘all good’, and then it was replaced by his eyebrows going up because Huey had fixed his jacket. Okay, well, that wasn’t anything bad, just unexpected, that was cool. Steadying the board with one foot, Michael grinned. “No, ‘s fine,” he replied, truthfully enough. Part of him had been expecting something...weirder, since...well, everything. Even if they had made up in a way, he just sort of thought he’d feel extra awkward all the time. “Yeah, I finally talked mum into it. Haven’t had one for four years.” Was that justified? Possibly, considering he’d screwed up his shoulder pretty badly the last time. Either way, if Huey decided to go after that story instead of the holidays, it would be easier to talk about. “They went uh...Fine. Yours?”

[littledarlingmichael]

Michael was thoroughly overwhelmed by the level of New Year’s celebrations. He hadn’t done much for it, mostly holed up in his room because his parents had people over to show off the house and just be...well, fake at. The day after was even more surreal. There had been people in his favorite park, left over from the night before, and parents out with their kids, so Michael was just thankful he’d gotten a new skateboard for the holidays so he didn’t look too weird.

At least, not until he nearly ran into Huey. Literally. Go figure. “Aw, shit, sorry, man. This thing isn’t broken in yet...You good?” He was a bit surprised to see Huey, really. December had been a lot...and Michael was awkward.

@hubertxduckington​

[hubertxduckington-archive]

He was so happy things were better between him and Michael. Huey didn’t know what he would do if that halloween thing had ruined things between them, even if it just ruined their friendship and not… well, whatever. They had made plans to do something else and Huey honestly couldn’t be happier. This time it was at Michael’s place which honestly was better. He didn’t want to think his brothers were eavesdropping like he knew they sort of were last time. Or at least one of them had been. Whatever. This was a new day, a new… well, he wasn’t going to call it a date. Not yet. He didn’t want to jinx anything. Huey knocked on the door. “Hey,” he said with a grin when the door opened. “How’re you today? You ready for a movie marathon?”

@littledarlingmichael​

[littledarlingmichael]

Michael had, at the very least, gotten his timing right. Huey had shown up not long after his parents had left, and that meant they were the only ones. Which...was a little terrifying, but at least Huey didn’t have to meet Mr. Darling yet. And yeah, Michael had spent the time in between pacing in front of the door because he was a disaster, but it was better than not being able to hear anything from his room. “Hi,” and to his own ears even that sounded a little nervous, so he made himself calm down a bit. “I’m good. Definitely ready for movies, but I had a question about snacks first.”

[littledarlingmichael]

hubertxduckington‌:

“Yeah, it’s a good thing you haven’t. He was a dick. And you won’t meet him,” he said softly. “He’s dead.” the whole dead parents’ thing wasn’t the best conversation, so he usually didn’t have it. He figured whatever people could come up with for why he and his brothers lived with their uncle was probably better than what had actually happened. “Thanks for that, though. I’m, um… I’m glad you’re here.”

He nodded. “You can talk to me about stuff if you ever want to,” he said softly. His fingers flexed absentmindedly. Part of him knew better than to try to reach for Michael, to either hold his hand or give him like, a pat on the shoulder or something reassuring. Huey smiled a bit. “Cool, yeah. That sounds good. I know you’ve got some classes and stuff, but, um. I’m free pretty much whenever. So just… whenever you wanna hang out, we can.” Huey looked down at his hands, then over to Michael. He was hesitant to bring more up and talk about more that had happened. He felt like things might be getting better and he wanted it to stay that way.

Michael nodded. He’d known Huey lived with his uncle, and had figured something might have happened with his parents, but it still sort of sucked that there was a death involved. He had sort of guessed it had been that, but had been hoping it was something else, not specific. “Well, I wish you wouldn’t ever have a chance of meeting my dad,” he ended up joking. “Sadly, you might have to.” And George Darling was....George. Michael shook his head.

Tentatively, Michael bumped his shoulder on Huey’s, hoping it counted as reassuring and not him being a prick or something. “It’s alright, I’ve got...other stuff.” Therapy. That wasn’t helping very much, but it was fine. He’d get over it or die trying. “Well, if we’re planning, I think that mum and dad have some sort of dinner to go to Saturday, and that’s Nana’s day off so she won’t be back until late...” Just for avoidance of embarrassment’s sake. “Wanna watch another scary movie, or should we move on to bad Christmas movies?”

[littledarlingmichael]

prezjohnnythethird‌:

Johnny’s brow furrowed at the boy’s question. Was he fucking with him now? He honestly couldn’t tell. “Well, yeah. Wouldn’t be a party without solo cups. Duh.” Johnny rolled his eyes. “And I happen to be an excellent football player.”

Michael heard himself laugh before he could stop himself. Not a real laugh, but more of an astonished huff. “Well, then, that settles that.” He shook his head a little, just to really process what was happening. Incredible. “I think I’d rather see how good it is from a distance before I try and get in. Don’t know how weird you Americans get with fraternities, but if it’s like back home I might not be up for it.”

[littledarlingmichael]

hubertxduckington‌:

Huey nodded. He was glad to hear him say he was fine. He could’ve just been lying but it was better than him saying something else. He shook his head a bit. “I was mad, like then. I’m less mad now. I’m more… worried and scared now,” he sighed a bit. His leg was bouncing. “I was worried about getting mad. I… I don’t like getting mad because it reminds me too much of my dad,” Huey’s voice is soft. “And I don’t want to– I can’t– be like him. So I was getting a little mad but I really didn’t want to be mad. And I was scared afterward because I didn’t want to lose you.” He shrugged. “You reacted probably as well as anyone would’ve. You don’t need to be scared for any reason. Not… I don’t want you to have to feel scared like that when you’re with me. And it’s okay. You didn’t… it’s fine. We can always watch another movie some other time,” he looked over to Michael. “That is if we’re good? At least as friends, and maybe if you want we can, um, we can try that again?”

Michael nodded as he listened. It mad sense, being mad. Michael was mad at himself just about all the time. He was mad at himself right now, even, for making everything get this way when he hadn’t wanted to. And he got how it was, not wanting to be your dad. “Getting mad’s okay,” he said gently. “I’ve never met you’re dad, but you’re not him, you’re Huey.” Just like how Huey wasn’t his brothers. And that probably didn’t help much, but Michael figured he could pull out his best therapist impression. He’d seen enough. “You’re Huey and I’m here.”

Absently, Michael freed his hands, fiddling with his sleeves, and he figured he should...well, say something else. Just to make sure. “I wasn’t scared because of you, y’know. You being mad didn’t scare me. Nothing you did made me scared. It was all my own stuff, so it’s sort of...hard.” Because really, it hadn’t been Huey’s fault. Michael’s mind always jumped and got scared and just...wasn’t good any more. And he wouldn’t give details, because Huey wasn’t his therapist, but he was sort of glad it was out there, if it hadn’t been obvious. “Another movie sounds really nice, though. We can even try and do it at mine, if you’d like. Mum and dad are always going to something.” Maybe he was just trying to get it as different as possible so it would go okay.

[littledarlingmichael]

prezjohnnythethird‌:

“I like to change it up. Bottom line, buddy, Roar Omega Roar is the frat house to join once you get to college. We’re best of the best. Full of rich history and opportunities,” Johnny said. “We throw some raging parties too so that’s always an upside to things. You definitely should consider it at the least.”

Michael was sure his eyes glazed over a bit, both from the obvious promotion and because of the confidence. He had met a few people who were almost an exact copy of a frat boy from films, but never one this close. “Okay, first I have to ask. Are there red cups at these parties and do you play American football at all?” If this guy did, Michael might lose it. A perfect stereotype.

[prezjohnnythethird]

“I’m kind of like Columbia royalty, you know. My parents went there and my grandparents. I’m a third generation student and president of my fraternity. So, yeah, I’m kind of a big deal.” Johnny stretched his arms out and rocked back and forth on his heels. “And my parents work for the White House as I plan to one day as well. So, if you need connections I got ‘em.”

[littledarlingmichael]

To be super honest, most of that had gone in one ear and out the other for Michael. Yeah, it was...possibly an impressive list, but all he could think of was that this guy probably had friends that had thrown Michael around back in high school. Weird. “Is this your...usual pitch to get freshmen in your fraternity, then?” he had to ask, with a raise of an eyebrow. He wasn’t about to show up for hazing because someone’s parents worked in American politics, of all things.

[littledarlingmichael]

hubertxduckington‌:

He didn’t know what else to do. He could’ve texted him but that felt impersonal and he didn’t want Michael to just leave him on read. He couldn’t handle that. And it could be so easy for him to ignore Huey. But this felt stupid. Going around places where he knew Michael might be. That was… that was creepy, right? Like he was a stalker or something. 

But it worked. There was Michael. Huey sat on one of the steps up the equipment. He gave a half-hearted grin. “Hey,” he said with a bit of a wave. He scooted over, giving Michael a place to sit. Huey looked down at his hands in his lap. “I um, I didn’t really think this far ahead,” he chuckled nervously. “I’m okay,” he said finally with a bit of a nod. “I… Are you okay?” he looked up to him. And dammit, he hated that he did. “I’m not mad at you, but you can be mad at me,” he rushed, having too many things he wanted to say and he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to say them all. “I mean, I was a little mad, but I was also mad at myself. I should’ve just. I dunno, I wish I could’ve answered better. I’m… I’m sorry.” He paused again. “In my head, I had a million better ways to say all of that to you but I didn’t know how to actually put any of it into words. I just didn’t want you to think I was mad at you anymore because I don’t think I was ever really mad.” He was just rambling and repeating himself. But he worried if he stopped, he cry again which he didn’t want to do at all. He hated crying in front of people.

Michael wished he had something for his hands to do, but since he hadn’t thought that he’d be seeing Huey today he hadn’t bothered. Instead, as he sat down, he tugged his sleeves into his palms, just for a bit of a guard, before clamping his hands between his knees. He didn’t need more marks on his hands. At least...At least Huey apparently didn’t know what he was doing, either, and was okay. “Good. That you’re good,” he replied, with his own half nod, an awkward head movement more than anything. “I’m...fine.” It was a decent save, saying ‘fine’ instead of ‘me’, but there was eye contact and Michael found himself not wanting to immediately look away this time. Even with his throat tightening on him. “You aren’t? I’m not mad at you.” The fact that Huey wasn’t mad at him was what really surprised him, and Michael had felt his eyebrows go up, because that hadn’t made much sense. Michael, after all, had started it, hadn’t he?

Michael waited quietly until Huey was done, or at least paused, listening and thinking and coming up with answers and just...things to say. He hadn’t known what he was going to say. He’d thought Huey would say not to talk to him again. “It’s okay, Huey. I would’ve been pretty pissed off if I were you,” he admitted with a shrug, and he spoke slowly because, well, if he didn’t he’d fuck it up again, probably. “I’m sorry I made you...well, I didn’t handle it any better.” He’d handled it worse. “I got...scared. For very stupid reasons. And got weird about it. And you don’t have to be sorry, ‘cause I don’t think you did anything wrong, really.” He hadn’t made Michael cry...at least, not where Michael could be seen. “I’m sorry, though. I shouldn’t have done all that. Should’ve watched the movie.” Should’ve held his hand.

[runawaysbish]

#relatable