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@littlefoxsub
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Reblog if you're on team "don't touch me without my permission but if you have my permission please never stop touching me"
Somebody I like: *says something degrading* example āOh my god look how pathetic you are. How do you even survive, you stupid lil thingā
Me: āUmmm how dare you? Iām a warrior and a geniusā
My Pussy: Okay but theyāre perfect. You didnāt need these pants dry anyway, right?
I was a 24/7 Dominant for a decent part of my life, and now am in a relationship that is bedroom only with little steps towards 24/7. My submissive does not enjoy intense pain, it is her one hard limit. Last scene we had, I was so full of lust & driven by her willingness to submit to me, that I almost broke her limit. It took every ounce of strength I had to not hurt her, because I knew in the moment that she would have let me. I don't want to not be able to control myself later. Advice?
Listen, because youāre here asking, I feel like you know exactly what Iām going to advise. Bottom line you CANāT get that close to line. The Top MUST BE IN CONTROL especially in control of themselves.
You say that your D/s is strictly bedroom. I feel this may be part of of your problem, having been 24/7 for most of your life. Itās hard to seperate the D/s from the sex when itās ONLY a bedroom activity but thatās what Iām going to recommend. Maybe move the sex to the aftercare portion of your scene. Keep the spanks and bondage for scene only for a while so you can practice applying sensation play without fueling it with lust. This should allow you to approach the BDSM with a cool head. You should also start scripting you scenes until you have yourself under better control. Sit down before a scene and talk about what is going to happen step by step āblow by blowā How many strokes with what implement. What kind of verbal stimulation. How long each part will likely take. DETAIL DETAIL DETAIL. And then⦠stick to the script.
Hereās the hard truth if you canāt, you need to stop all together. If her hard limits are not compatible with your must haves then you need to STOP the D/s or part ways altogether. If you canāt color with-in the lines she has drawn then donāt even pick up the crayon.
Regards,
ā ļø1SLā¤ļø
That last paragraph. āļøāļø Someone asked me once, āSubs are allowed to let go and just go with it. Donāt Doms ever get to?ā No, we donāt. As Master Yoda said: āControl, control, you must learn CONTROL!!!ā Having to always keep a few steps back from that intoxicating red line is the price we pay for our submissive placing their body, their soul, their safety, and their LIFE in our hands. We must alwaysā ALWAYSā be mindful of that. As I have often said, this isnāt a fucking game.
@1-sadistic-lover and @instructor144 , well said, both of you.
Iām very primal by nature, and my sex drive is very connected to that. When I get really, really into it, I can feel conscious thought slipping away. I know better than most how important it is to stay in control.
What helps, for me, is to keep my desire for kink play compartmentalized away, in my brain, from my primal desire to claim and fuck. Kinky scenes arenāt about sexual pleasure for me. They are about how cool, measured, and level-headed I can be. They are about making my partner(s) wild with lust and helping them achieve subspace at the same time. Though I do tend to incorporate both pleasure and pain into scenes, I keep the parts when I am actually fucking @belovedsangi and/or @danipup relatively brief during kink play itself, to make sure I donāt get so into it that I go fully primal until after the impact/pain portion of the scene is done. I do that because if I were to try to be in both headspaces at once, someone would end up getting hurt.
You have to know yourself. You have to dom yourself before you can dom anyone else. And, like 1SL and 144 both pointed out, if your partnerās hard limits are your āmust-havesā, you arenāt compatible, at least not in the kink/sexual sense. And thatās going to lead to frustration at best, or someone getting seriously hurt at worst.
Sometimes, the best and most responsible thing you can do is to walk away. Thatās fucking hard, I know. But itās also necessary to understand. Iām not necessarily saying that this is one of those situations, but it is certainly something you need to think about. If you are honestly comfortable with never being able to do any sort of pain play with your partner, fine. But if you are either afraid that you wonāt always be able to stay within her limits, or if you are continuing the relationship hoping that her limits will change down the road, youāre not in a healthy situation for either one of you.
-LMS
The two Doms I respect most here on Tumblrville have added their thoughts to mine. I am honored. Read and learn my friends.
ā ļø1SLā¤ļø
@wearedragonrider
Animals in Film: Porgs in Star Wars: The Last JediĀ (2017) dir. Rian Johnson, played by the puffins of Skellig Michael
I know I'm a handful but thats what you got two hands for
Pt1.Hi, I'm a sub in a ddlg relationship, I just wanted to ask and get some opinions from people more experienced than me. I had a very rough childhood and that meant I had to learn to feed and look after myself entirely, as such I have a very strong and independent personality and have always been like this. I'm sure you can see the problem with this š at work it's helped me get very far for my age, but I find I have to literally fight my own head to submit to Daddy and go against my instinct
Pt2. I wondered if any of the team had had this issue before or if any of your followers have had it? I want to be the best sub I can and I donāt want to fight myself to submit, it isnāt a lack of trust or faith in my Daddy, I think Im just trying to fight every instinct I haveā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢ā¢Hey there!Guess what??? Weāre twins, thatās what! @1-sadistic-lover and i actually JUST talked about this the other day, so I hope to be able to share our revelations in a way that may help with your own.
I had the exact same base for my own life - the type of forced independence way too young that makes one take on the world like a predator, not out of desire or enjoyment, but as a means of survival. Taking charge, when on your own, means fighting your way to the top, protecting yourself from anyone or anything else that could be a threat, and ABOVE ALL, to value and trust in making your decisions for yourself.
But goodness, a lifetime of that energy expenditure and hyper vigilance can really be exhausting. Particularly if you know that at your core, all youāve ever wanted is for that burden to be lifted. Being cared for, and having somebody else provide safety and structure sounds like heaven āuntil the realization comes that it means LETTING GO.
Terrifying. When every part of your survival in the past has been completely self-driven and dependent on taking charge, gritting your teeth and following somebody else feels like certain death.
Hereās what advice I can give you, and Iām sorry that itās such hard advice to follow: Do it. Let go.Fight those instincts down, because this person, this Dominant, is one whom youāve decided that your logical and emotional brain trusts and wishes to follow. You wouldnāt have entered this dynamic if it wasnāt a good move.
What I can promise when this advice is followed: You will feel safer.You will feel stronger.The parts of you that have been starving since childhood for protection and love and support will finally heal.When that primal, knee jerk, fighting reaction surfaces, face it with logic. Donāt let it encourage you to walk in the direction you have picked - hold his hand as he leads you down a new path.You have chosen to submit to this person.You WANT to submit to this person.They are a resource, not an obstacle or an enemy.
I wish you all the best, and I really hope I was able to help a bitš Kittenš
āFingers in her mouth, Hand between her legs, Whisper into her ear, That if she wants more, she can beg.ā
ā The Book Of Lilith - litandlethargy (via litandlethargy)
Me: I donāt have the energy for this
Someone: For what?
Me: *gestures vaguely*
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This princess needs routine and structure, but also wants to stay in bed all day
āWhat are you into?ā Is such a broad question, Like do I reply with a tv series or chokingā¦.