hello !!! if you’re here and know me from *wink wink* my main blog… this is my blog for fics n stuff !!! if you don’t know me from my main, welcome !!! i’m sarah (she/her), and i love interacting with fandoms online !! i’m writing a fic right now and maybe i’ll share some previews !
i’m pretty busy most of the time so don’t expect anything huge to pop up soon, i’ll have more time to write in the summer though ! <3
feel free to send me requests too !
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my ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rented_ravio
i think i’ve been trying so hard to hit a made-up deadline for this fic lol, i’m trying to write in smaller bits instead of burnt-out hours late at night.
in other news, i’ve started compiling songs/lyrics i want to use as chapter titles !! small things like that motivate me, so here’s what i’ve got:
lovesong - the cure (very tempted to make it the title…)
last night on earth - green day
lillian - +44
suzie chapstick - green day
i’ll probably mix fall out boy in there… somewhere… i can’t deny myself a good fob song in a fanfic !! i’ll be picking out lyrics from these, but i’m saving that for when i release each chapter
lil update: every night i stay up until 1 or 2 am writing this fic… tell me how im at SIX THOUSAND words??? i started this on the 18th, like 2 WEEKS HAVE PASSED BY THIS FAST???
i swear i’m not at all trying to milk this, i’m a huge perfectionist and i want it to be the best it can be, reread the older parts, and piece together breaks between chapters before i start uploading. this is the first time i’ve ever written (let alone uploaded) a multi-chapter fanfic !! i’m so excited to share it when it comes out, format it and make it look pretty, and make y’all happy :-)
this is the x reader fic wip from JUST today. always believe in yourself is the lesson 🙏 it’s midnight for me rn so i should probably stop…
this is only two of my story beats, by the way. we’re in the past-tense “tragic” backstory buildup coming from a galaxy far, far away… (hint hint) stay tuned for more updates…
feel free to give me inspo for the title, it’s exes to lovers yearning and my only idea is lovesong by the cure :P
this is the x reader fic wip from JUST today. always believe in yourself is the lesson 🙏 it’s midnight for me rn so i should probably stop…
this is only two of my story beats, by the way. we’re in the past-tense “tragic” backstory buildup coming from a galaxy far, far away… (hint hint) stay tuned for more updates…
feel free to give me inspo for the title, it’s exes to lovers yearning and my only idea is lovesong by the cure :P
working on another oneshot currently and it will definitely be a curveball compared to the rest of the stuff on here… a lot of research, wiki tabs, reading other fics, and analyzing character traits is going into this one… the plot will take place over years and will be for people who like exes to lovers 🙏
if you ever doubt that your ao3 comments matter or mean something: i have been struggling with my writing for 6 months straight, crying myself to sleep afraid that i will never be able to write again, that the thing i love most in the world has left me, that my writing is just gone
this morning i got this comment:
and after i stopped blubbering over it, i picked up my writing notebook, and re-read all my fic research, and opened up my document again for the first time in weeks without being afraid of it
you have no idea how much writers treasure every single comment we get. you have no idea how big an impact you can have. sometimes, just sometimes, your one "insignificant" comment changes everything
im still working on fics btw !!! i haven’t forgotten about this account (i swear) im trying to multitask and get a pilot chapter out for a large genshin fic and maybe a lil headcanon/oneshot post for mystic messenger
again i will 100% have more time this summer, im so slumped with work rn
ayyyyy i lied when i posted this lol i definitely want to get SOMETHING out for genshin but i’m slumped for ideas rn… i’ve been in a rough patch and am mentally emotionally fanfictionally blocked
Hi! Are you still open for requests? If so, may I please ask for fluffy Kaveh headcanons where he's Reader's husband? I hope you have a good day!
a/n: hii!! yess I am always open for requests!! I don’t know much about Kaveh so I hope it’s not too ooc but i tried my best to dive deeper into his character and lore!! I hope you have a good day too!! <3 (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)
♡ Husband! Kaveh headcanons! ♡
Husband! Kaveh would definitely help you with your hair or nails!! I feel like he’d paint your nails or give them a spa day every once in a while!! He loves pampering you.
SO! MANY! COMPLIMENTS!!! This man would never stop complimenting your outfits or your makeup because he just sees you as pure art! How can he not?! youre his muse!
Would also 100% rant about annoying clients to you but then feels slightly bad if he was talking too much- he just cant help it! you make him feel safe to yap!
I feel like whenever he’d be alone or while he’s working he’d doodle his SO. He has so many sketches of you that he made while he couldn’t focus or was distracted!
He loves doing domestic things with you! Drawing, cooking, doing laundry, cleaning, etc. He feels so safe and content and like he’s finally found someone who he can just let his guard down around. Youre special to him!
Definitely makes coffee and/or breakfast for you both in the morning!! He loves nothing more than to just be together in the morning as you both eat together.
He’s so happy to be your husband that he cant help but remind people that youre married ALL the time!! He’ll be talking to someone and say “My partner said that too!” or “My partner went there as well!”
After a long day of working and tolerating insufferable clients, the thing he yearns for the most is to just melt into your arms. He absolutely LOVES hugs and just being held mends his heart so much. Really, please hug him.
Husband! Kaveh sometimes has nightmares about his parents, and when they happen he needs you to hold him. Tell him he’s okay and he’s safe. please dont leave this man, he loves you so much!!
All in all he’d try so so so hard to be a good husband for you. You mean the world to him!! so expect to be treated with so much love!
I hope this wasn’t too long or ooc!! I had so much fun writing this, Kaveh is such an underrated character ♡⸜(˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)⸝♡
Hiraeth — It is a Welsh word that describes a deep sense of nostalgia, homesickness, or a melancholic longing for a home, place, or time that no longer exists.
TW: reader is a bit too self-aware, derealization, daydreaming. (please, let me know if I forgot anything !!!)
A/N: it's my first time writing for Genshin and tbh im quite anxious I've been anxiously writing this since morning and couldn't wait to post it.I hope you like it, I'll probably do a masterlist for it later !
English is not my first language, so please excuse my poor grammar and dialect
A week, or perhaps even more, since you arrived here. Suddenly, without warning or anything precious you were attached to. It was like being ripped from your mother's womb all over again.
Not that you remember this, but the analogy still stands on.
All you could see was white, a white so deep that if it weren't for the sky and the few trees around, you would think you were in one of those white hospital rooms. But it didn't matter that much, at least not more than the fact that you couldn't move or even open your eyes. It was like that feeling of falling asleep on the bus and being awake, but at the same time still sleeping.
Strange no?
It was like seeing from your own eyes like a spectator, like in a movie scene or anything like that.
In any way, there wasn't much you could do other than just watch. Watching as the sky changed, as winter turned in spring, spring into summer, and summer in autumn, and it kept going. It was strange, because time was moving so fast and yet, you felt like just a few minutes or hours passed.
It was like playing The Sims 4 all over again, and staying in your room making characters, and then ...
You really couldn't remember much more now that you stopped and thought about it.
Who were you? You remember being an adult, having finished high-school, you couldn't remember if you have been to a university, or if you had a job, or anything at all. It was like your memories had all broken into little tiny pieces and just some were big enough to be seen.
You remember playing Genshin Impact when you arrived from school, maybe playing with a friend or two, maybe more. You can remember almost everything about that game, but you can't remember much about your life.
Around the sixth day you stopped thinking about it, it was making your head hurt all over again.
You remembered your name at least, and that was more than enough.
Really, seeing the world just going to its cycle of day and night was becoming quite boring, it was impressive to watch at first, but everything in excess lost its appeal.
Around the seventh day you felt like your conscience was being pulled, like waking up from a deep sleep you didn't know you needed. And when your eyes opened, you saw the sky full of dark clouds, where snowflakes kept falling.
Your eyes continued to stare at the clouds, blinking slightly as if still waking up, until a snowflake fell right in your nose and made you sneeze. And slowly, it was like you remembered that you now had a body, a body that was laying on top of a very comfortable bunch of snow.
It was like the cold didn't affect your body, or maybe you were just so out of it and already with hypothermia and dying. Something that wouldn't make you very happy, having just woken up. And now that you have stopped to really think about it, you didn't even know where you were since you've spent all the time reflecting about who you were.
What a shame really, but there wasn't much you could do to change that now, so you just tried to get up. Surprise filling you up when your body succeeds and doesn't dramatically fail like in those fanfics you used to read.
The thought made you stop and blink slowly.
Oh, that's right. You used to read, books, manhwa, fanfiction, everything that would fulfill that need of belonging somewhere that you always had. It made you wonder if somehow you managed to get in one of those 'I was reborn as the villainess' manhwa's, or anything like that.
Well, you would never know if you stayed here sitting in the snow, so you started to gather your surroundings while getting up. But you still couldn't see much more than snow and dead trees. And now that you finally stopped to try to look around you noticed that your body wasn't bare, you were using clothes, warm ones. With a stylized red coat that you couldn't really understand anything in it.
It seemed full of unnecessary details that would probably draw attention, but it's not like you'd refuse the heat source that kept you safe from freezing in that eternal cold. Looking around, you noticed that the clothes were the only thing with you. No bag, no ID, no spare clothes, no money, nothing.
With a deep sigh leaving your lips, you turned around and looked to the sky, a trail of smoke was coming from somewhere nearby. And it could only mean that there was a fire nearby, and a fire meant a shelter.
Probably.
So, with an objective in mind, you started to move towards whatever was your destiny now.
im still working on fics btw !!! i haven’t forgotten about this account (i swear) im trying to multitask and get a pilot chapter out for a large genshin fic and maybe a lil headcanon/oneshot post for mystic messenger
again i will 100% have more time this summer, im so slumped with work rn
2:56 am - alhaitham
in which, in a moment of grief and mourning, alhaitham shows up at your doorstep when you need it most
content hurt/comfort, gn!reader, grief, mentions of illness, death and a deceased body (just one tho), established relationship, bits and pieces of alhaitham's backstory, unedited
you've cried hard enough for your temples to throb.
the insides of your eyelids were dry, seered with the aftermath of hours upon hours of crying, tracing the sceleras with an aggressive shade of pink. they had an adamant refusal to remain open, fluttering shut with their own insistence—yet sleep was impossible to pursue with violent headache settling in your skull.
over persistent sniffling, you heard your front door unlock, followed by a voice, deep in both tone and concern.
"y/n? are you awake?"
all you could muster was an incoherent sob, and alhaitham's footsteps echoed across the floor, stopping in front of your couch, where you wept.
he held out a large plastic bag. "i brought food. and i used the spare key." alhaitham's adam's apple bobbed, apprehensive and stressed. "would you like company?"
you knew better not to bother him. especially at 3 am on a weekday.
yet you nod, a slow, pleading motion.
alhaitham placed the bag down, unbothered by the used tissues littering your coffee table as he treaded closer to you, while you were wrapped in a thin blanket.
he crouched in front of you, picking up a stray tissue and wiping a tear off. "im sorry for your loss. truly."
loss. the reason for your abrupt departure from school, what drove you to sprint to the hospital. the death of your dear grandmother.
an attempt to say thank you deteriorates into a choked sob.
"just rest, alright?" he picked up the tissues, without a flinch nor batting an eye, tossing them into the bin. "you don't have to tell me anything."
the tip of your nose itches and burns, with every tissue you've blown into it. you can't see it, but it's probably just as red as your eyes.
"i wish i visited more."
"hm?" turquoise irises glance at you.
"even before she stopped being able to talk." you choke on another sniffle. "i feel like i never got to know her, beyond being my grandmother."
now that you've mentioned it, it'd been long enough for you to forget her voice, from her lectures to keep studying to the way she'd wish you good night—all that came to mind were her last few hours, gasping for air and relief, whilst being attached to a number of medical contraptions you didn't know the name of.
"i miss her." you choked again, chasing after air. "before she got sick. i should've spent more time with her."
a trembling hand fumbled with your tissue box. alhaitham's pries it from you, pulling out a tissue.
"i lived with my grandmother. from before i could remember my parents, up until i was fourteen." alhaitham sat beside you, readjusting your blanket. "i felt the same as you."
his ring clad hand wrapped around you, as he planted a kiss onto your temple. "you've done nothing wrong. no amount of time feels sufficient when your love is infinite. your regrets are simply a sign you care."
you thank him. or at least try to. it drowns in your sobbing.
seeking comfort in him, you leaned in closer resting your head on his shoulder. his chin settled on top of your head, as he let you weep.
you have no idea how much time passes, when alhaitham speaks over your crying.
"my favourite thing my grandma made for me was quiche."
you blew your nose again and looked up at him.
"it's actually her original recipe." he cleared his throat. "i complained about sabz meat stew being too messy as a kid. the mess was probably my own fault."
you snorted at the thought of him being so indignant and stubborn and young, when he was now a man well-versed in accountability.
"but she still came up with a new. she cooked it in a pan so i could read and eat at the same time. i suppose it's not the exact same as a quiche. still my favourite nonetheless. i have the recipe, but no one could make it as well as her."
he felt your head rest against his chest again. lithe fingers stroked it, a soothing pace and warmth.
"what about you? tell me all about your grandmother."
alhaitham awaited a response, but was met with nothing. only snoring from your stuffy nose, and the slow rising and sinking of your chest.
he closed his eyes.
you awoke to a terrible headache, or moreso the one from last night never left you.
alhaitham wasn't there besides you. you were sprawled across the couch, under your blanket and a pillow you didn't remember bringing to the living room.
a patient glass of water waited for you on the coffee table, which was supposed to be covered in tissues and grief.
"it's not eleven yet. did i wake you?"
you blinked. "no. my head hurts."
alhaitham gestured to the glass. "drink. it's because you're dehydrated."
you followed, gulping down the glass. you don't remember the last time you drank water.
"sorry about last night." you murmured. bringing food over at 3am was inconvenient enough, let alone staying the whole night.
he cocked a brow. "about?"
"well y'know. crying all night."
it started with a simple text message, alhaitham asking why you had to cancel your date and if everything was alright. it descended into a phone call in the middle of the night, announcing your grandmother's departure in forced composure.
"that's a good thing. it means your grandmother is very loved."
"that's not the point. exams are right around the corner and you came over at 3 am. it's not exactly...convenient."
"loss isn't convenient. i don't think grief should be, either." he calmly retorted, glancing towards the kitchen, then his watch. "i never thought of it as a bad thing. i didn't shed a tear when my grandmother passed away. i think you're doing a lot better than me."
you furrowed your brows, picking up on the vague tune of whistling from somewhere in the kitchen. "you—you can't say that. everyone experiences it differently."
a knowing smirk curls in his lip, one of affection rather than condescension. "there you go. you understand that principle perfectly fine. disagree now, and you'd be calling me callous and yourself considerate."
you opened your mouth to protest, but nothing came to mind. you accepted your loss and sunk back into the couch. your eyes still burnt and your head screamed for help, but at least the initial shock had worn off. your grandmother has passed, and wherever she may be now, she'll be okay—is what you'll tell yourself.
there's a cold dread that claws up your chest when you think of her lifeless form. but you screw your eyes shut, watching your boyfriend move from your kitchen to you. you were sore from waiting in the hospital for so long, your feet complained as they creaked against wooden floorboards.
he brought another glass of water. "keep drinking water, you need to rehydrate. you should sleep more too."
you shook your head, after gulping down the glass (which, alhaitham immediately pried from your hand for another refill). "i was already behind on a lot of work. i don't want to do anything, but i can't be bothered to contact uni and get extensions."
it's stupid really. not wanting to do the latter but being too drained for the former. all that's in your mind is sleeping and the funeral.
alhaitham shrugged. "then don't. i have notes for your upcoming mandatory readings, and the content you missed in class yesterday. take the day off, too."
"you're, not in that course?"
he shrugged again. "cyno is. i borrowed his textbook so i could make notes for the next week or so."
a weak chuckle tumbled out. "you're unbelievable."
the composed, serious glint in his eyes melted into something soft, warm—something that only you were privileged to witness. "i had to." he lifts the lid off the pot on your stove, soon closing it again. "i know how it feels. no one wants to do anything after someone passes."
you picked at your nails. "well yeah. but i know how important uni is to you, especially right now. and you've got honours and stuff to worry about, i mean i do too—but for you it means everything and i'm not in the right headspace right now and—"
alhaitham sighed, leaning into you and wrapping his arm around you. a hand found its way behind your head and the other snaked around your waist. his chin found refuge on your shoulder.
"you're important. both you and your feelings. my studies can wait if yours have to too. we both know i'm capable enough regardless." he pulled back to look you in the eye. "i hated how the world kept spinning when it felt like mine froze. so for you, i'll bring mine to a halt while yours is."
his thumb wiped the residue of tears under your eyes, the callused skin even warmer than the tears that you've spilt. "no, it won't be an issue, please, just let me do this for you. if there's one day you'll let me pamper you without worry, let it be today."
all the solemnity in his face had relaxed into a fearful concern. his eyes pleaded--then darted to the pot, who was angrily fuming, but it was enough for you to relent, and accept.
as alhaitham examined the contents you wrapped your arms around his waist from behind. "what are you making?"
"soup. it was meant to be ready by eleven."
"why eleven?"
"you called at approximately 2:30 am. by the time i got here and you fell asleep it was sometime past 3 am. i wanted you to get a full eight hours and wake up to warm, fresh soup." he shot an oddly judgemental look at the pot. "you might have to settle with just the food i brought though, at this rate."
you yawned, eyes watering. "i see. i don't mind either way."
while studying the recipe on his phone, he spoke to you softly; a tone with contradicted the irritated squint he gave the screen and his tightly knit brows. "do you want to sleep in your room? i'll wait until you fall asleep."
your arms released him, rubbing your eyes. "i think i'll stay. i want to spend time with you." he's convinced you to relax entirely, and quite frankly, you definitely needed it—both physically and mentally.
a succinct nod and he pocketed his phone. "i'll brew you a cup of tea and we can put on a movie. is that alright?"
"yeah." you murmured. through your fatigue and anguish, you were grateful to have him. "...i love you."
"i love you too, always." a brief kiss to the lips, and he began to prepare the kettle.
