summary: you move in with your brother after a bad break up, trying to relieve the ache in your chest. you didn't expect to stay up at night dreaming about his teammate, trying to make your paths cross at any given occasion
warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, swayman!reader, reader’s ex cheating
wc: 5k
note: sooo what happened was i took a request for more olivia inspired fics and mixed it with a beautiful idea that @cheerymints shared with me about minty x goalie!sister and i lowkey love the result so much. hope you guys feel the same <3
the blue hues of new york city passed you by through the car window, your ears filled with the static sound of whatever radio station was playing in the background. you weren’t paying attention in the slightest.
there was a lot going on in your mind; you hoped that sinking into the passenger seat of your brother’s car as he drove you two hundred miles up north would ease it all, and it did for the first hour while you stood with your face pressed against the cold window at your right side.
you grabbed your phone and checked your unread messages as the man behind the wheel cursed under his breath at an old man driving ridiculously slow, or so he seemed to have said. you scrolled mindlessly through the hundreds of messages that had built up in your friends’ group chat: goodbye texts directed at you, pictures of them smoking blunts in the bathroom of your saturday brunch designated restaurant, addresses of new spots to go try like you'd be back after the weekend.
knowing you wouldn't, at least for a while, was nearly your breaking point. it was so mundane, but that had been your entire life for the past couple of years. you weren’t entirely sure you were doing the right thing by fleeing the scene, but you couldn’t bear to walk through the streets you once walked through with your ex boyfriend, not after he’d betrayed you and thrown every little piece of your heart in the garbage.
jeremy’s low, warm voice distracted you from your thoughts, mostly revolving around the man you swore you never wanted to see again.
“i know it’s hard,” he mumbled, voice a little rough from not speaking for a while. “but you got this. you’re smart, you’re funny, it’ll take no time for you to get new friends.”
“i don’t want new friends, i just want him to disappear off the face of the earth.”
he chuckled quietly, head shaking as his gaze stayed fixated on the road ahead. he didn’t need to ask who ‘him’ was referring to, he knew. he’d known it since you’d found out about the cheating, about the lies, about everything that had gone wrong with your relationship.
the first number you’d dialled, before your parents’ or your friends’ or anyone else’s, had been jeremy’s. the same jeremy that had been calling you daily ever since he moved away from home, the same jeremy that nearly threw hands at you middle school’s principal when you told him a teacher was making your life miserable, the same jeremy that always took your side when you argued with your parents, even when you were in the wrong.
“do you remember shay?”
your ears perked up at the mention of his ex girlfriend’s name, the one you hadn’t heard of in at least ten years. you nodded slowly, brows furrowed in confusion.
“we broke up because she cheated on me.”
“what?!” you nearly gasped, shifting in your seat to take a look at his face. “why didn’t you tell me?”
“well, first of all you were ten years old,” he started off, finally bringing the first smile of the day onto your face. “and then i just didn’t want to think about it anymore. talking about it would’ve brought back all the bad feelings.”
“i’m not sure that’s a very healthy coping mechanism, jer.”
“that’s not the point. you come talk to me about whatever you want whenever you want,” he turned his head for a second, just enough to catch a glimpse of you. “i’m just saying i think it’ll be good for you to stay away from the city, see new faces, a new place and everything.”
“if you say so.” you shrugged defeatedly, falling back against the seat.
“i sure do. you’ll come to me one day and say ‘mighty and wise jeremy, you were right as per usual’. you just wait and see.”
you called him ridiculous among giggles, but he couldn’t bring himself to care: the only thing jeremy wanted was to make you laugh, and you finally gave him your best wholehearted, sincere laughter, much like the ones he elicited out of you when he bursted into your room after he came home from school and started his usual tickle wars, or when he rolled you around into the snow during wintertime when you were little.
you would never admit it to him, maybe not even to yourself, but a small part of you was genuinely happy to be moving to boston, at least for a little. you’d enjoyed the city whenever you’d visited your brother, and knowing his soothingly calm presence would be there by your side was a breath of fresh air.
for the first few days of your stay, you cradled yourself in whatever remaining feelings of heartbreak the recent events had caused. afterall, everyone always said to just let yourself feel things and not push them away and pretend nothing had happened, not like your brother had done.
that was all it took for you to find a brand new light, something that despite being surrounded by friends and in an allegedly happy relationship, you never seemed to have in new york. whether it was because you finally got to live close to a family member for the first time in years after moving away from anchorage, or because jeremy wasted no time before getting you into the bruins circle, you didn’t know.
it felt nice to be introduced to people that played such a big role in your brother’s life, and you managed to meet all of them within the first couple of days, or so you thought.
one week into your bostonian vacation, the encounter came casually. alessandra, your soon-to-be sister-in-law, sent you off to deliver to jeremy the lunch he’d forgotten at home in the morning, when he left hurriedly for practice. you were walking across the arena with the tupperware in your hands when your steps came to a halt in front of the brown door that said ‘locker room’.
you weren’t overly familiar with hockey etiquette, but a big part of you was fairly sure barging into a locker room filled with potentially naked men wasn’t the wisest decision. so, that left you with one plausible option.
“jay!” you called out at the top of your lungs, praying nobody would pass by.
you balanced yourself on the balls of your feet, hands fidgeting with the glass container as you debated whether or not phoning your brother instead would work better than yelling his name in the hallway.
“i don’t think i’m jay, but maybe i can go call him for you?”
the sudden, unknown masculine voice startled you at first. he appeared like a spark in the dark and you were too distracted to realize someone had even made his way to you. you looked up with inquisitive eyes, and was met with the same expression painted over greyish irises and a clean, polite face.
“you must be sway’s sister.” the man in front of you spoke up, eyes lighting up with the sudden realization.
he looked rather disheveled: hair messy and sticking up in odd directions, a couple of sweat droplets trickling down his forehead, cheeks rosy. yet, being in front of him still sent a wave of self-consciousness your way. your brain short-circuited for a moment, and you hoped he wouldn’t notice your dumbfounded expression.
“hope it’s not the nose that gave it away.”
he smiled wide, showing off the cutest dimple under his right eye. you might’ve said the first thing to come to mind without even thinking, but at least you got to bask in the sight of him laughing.
“if that can help, yours and his don’t really look alike.” he shook his head, still beaming, before extending his hand towards you. “i’m fraser.”
fraser.
the name rolled around in your head like there was nothing else in there, occupying your thoughts throughout the entire day. or, days. you felt totally insane.
the way you'd felt when your eyes had first met his engulfed you completely, and you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t exciting to feel your body tingle whenever he was around, for your heart to skip a beat whenever he flashed that dreamy smile at you. but it did feel wrong. you probably shouldn’t have been able to move on so quickly from a breakup that had nearly consumed you.
you kept to yourself for the following days, hiding the light in your eyes whenever jeremy threw his name around at home, talking about his latest chirp that had the whole team laughing or the prank charlie and nikita had played on him in the locker room.
it felt like it was working; instead of thinking about him all day everyday, his face only appeared into your mind sporadically.
that new arrangement, obviously, was short-lived. it lasted until a friday night that had started like any other, when mason reached out to invite you over to his house, where he was hosting an event that was somewhat of a small party with some teammates and their partners, and some people outside of their hockey world. there was no point in staying at home, you could’ve used the distraction.
yet, despite all the intriguing, fascinating people that stood in the redhead’s living room and that you would’ve liked to talk to, all you could focus on was fraser. you were mid-sentence, talking to this stunning blonde girl about your college careers, when he walked in. he showed up with an unbuttoned shirt over his graphic t-shirt, his hair still partially damp. he’d completely stolen your attention.
you looked at the girl in front of you, at how nonchalant she was, at how she was not drooling over a guy in the corner of the room, and you felt a slight hint of envy.
all you could do afterwards was sit awkwardly on the couch and steal glances at him, mind racing with the thought of him coming closer, calling your name, talking to you about anything at all. it was ridiculous, and you knew you had to stop yourself before you got in too deep.
“so, you already know what you’re going to wear next month?”
the sudden voice brought you back to earth. you looked around yourself to try and spot the source of the sound. then, your eyes fell on kiley, charlie’s wife, standing in front of you with a warm smile.
“where are we going next month?”
“girl,” she sighed, chuckling at your naivety. “the team gala. don’t tell me you forgot.”
“well... uh, i don’t think i’ll be there. i don’t want to third wheel jer and al all night long, i already do that all the time.”
the woman looked at you like you’d suddenly grown three heads, much to your own confusion. then, she took a seat next to you on the couch and shifted slightly to face you.
“you don’t have anyone to come with you?” she asked, and you shook your head. “you could always ask fraser.”
you nearly choked on your saliva, heart fluttering in your chest as you coughed. the sole mention of his name was enough to have your hands feel tingly, like a thousand ants were walking across them.
“what? why him?”
“i don’t know, you guys are about the same age, no?” she shrugged, fortunately not scrutinizing your behaviour. “and he’s also a good kid, he’d definitely do you the favour.”
part of you wanted to scream that you didn’t want it to be a favour, you wanted it to be real. you wanted fraser to want you even half as much as you wanted him, to feel the need to be close to you at any possible moment. instead, you swallowed those feelings back before their fight grew too strong, nodding slowly towards kiley.
“yeah, i might.”
but you didn’t, not that night. you couldn’t bring yourself to find enough courage to bring it up, even when him and mason approached you to ask for your opinion on the last text the homeowner had sent to his romantic conquest of the moment, and whether or not it could’ve been the reason why she’d ghosted him for two days.
“fraser said you’re a girl and you should know.”
fraser’s eyes rolled, an exasperated breath left his lips. “i didn’t say that. i said she might be able to help you better than i can.”
then, he turned towards you, still jokingly annoyed at the man next to him. “it’s not because you’re a girl, it’s because you’re much more emotionally intelligent than him and i put together.”
“you are putting a lot of faith in someone who’s straight up ignoring the fact that her boyfriend of two years just cheated on her.”
“good riddance!” mason yelled, raising his beer bottle in a cheering manner.
“he’s drunk,” fraser whispered, leaning closer to you and nearly making you faint. “but he’s right, it is good riddance. even a day spent thinking about that idiot would be too much.”
mason's smile widened, his gaze met yours as he pointed at him with his thumb. "he's shooting his shot at you."
"did i already say he's drunk? he's rambling on."
you knew, of course you did, but you wished he wasn't. you wished his words were honest, you wished fraser would just wake up one day and confess his undying love for you. you swallowed the gigantic lump that had formed in your throat, forced a smile on your lips and mindlessly nodded. your delusion would have had to wait until the end of the night.
like clockwork, the moment you laid on your bed, the ceiling started shifting and changing colours, until all you could see was the brown-haired, charming and soft-spoken boy you'd known for a handful of weeks, yet was infesting your thoughts like the most stubborn vine clinging to your walls.
from then on, you spent nearly every single night sleepless, tossing and turning. your thoughts kept flying to the gala that was closer and closer everyday, and the missing partner that was supposed to be fraser. what if he said no? what if he had a girlfriend he'd already invited? what if he wanted nothing to do with you?
on one particular occasion, you woke up earlier than usual and feeling under the weather, restless after spending the night caught up in that vortex of fraser and your ex and the ghost of your life in new york. you tiptoed your way out of the house, to avoid waking someone up. you needed some fresh air.
you had no idea where you were headed, but you let your feet wander around in the early lights of day, painting boston in bright yellow and soft orange.
you roamed the dimly lit streets unhurriedly, basking in the chilly air that reminded you of home and childhood and times when your greatest concern was a fifth grade science test. while you distracted yourself with all kinds of memories, you passed by a college campus filled with guys that slurred their words after having one too many and girls who stumbled around and muffled their laughter.
there were times where that used to be your life, light-hearted and carefree. each day that passed, you felt yourself shift closer into that older version of you. your time in boston was helping you infinitely in that sense, but putting you through the tough challenge of having a middle school-like crush after years of not having to worry about unspoken feelings and stolen glances.
your steps came to a stop when, as you entered your favourite park in the area, a voice that had grown way too familiar reached your ears like the sweetest melody known to man.
“hey, baby sway.”
your eyes buzzed at the sound. ‘baby’. you rotated on your feet, eyes falling onto the easily recognizable figure. fraser was standing a few inches from you, water bottle in his hand and running attire on. he’d just called you ‘baby’, and there wasn’t a single part of you that was acting normal about it.
the shirt you were wearing suddenly turned into lava, burning every inch of your skin and becoming unbearable. you weren’t too sure it was a standard thing to feel at the sight of someone, especially when said someone was your own brother’s teammate.
“well, boston isn’t so big afterall.”
“your brother did recommend this neighborhood when i was looking for a place, so…”
so, it wasn’t fate that had decided to make your paths cross on a fine tuesday morning. it was actually none other than jeremy, clearly. the need to get your head out of the clouds was more urgent than ever, but you knew every attempt would be useless.
“hey, listen,” you started, hands playing frantically with the edges of your phone as you tried to find the right words to not sound like a complete fool. “i need to ask you a favor. you don’t have to do it, of course, i just figured i’d try.”
“that sounds serious, go on.”
“i was talking with jer the other day and he mentioned the gala, and i… uh-“
“you need a partner?” he interrupted you like he was reading your mind, lips barely quirking upwards.
“i don’t need one, but it would be nice.”
“i’m honoured you thought of me first.”
“i actually asked mason, marat and andrew before, but they were all taken, so…”
“oh, is that how it is?” he laughed it off, shaking his head with fake disappointment. he then looked at you with a sincere smile, one that showed off his dimples perfectly. “of course i’ll come with you.”
any type of restrain you'd given yourself so far, for futile reasons and still anchored to your past, was fully gone. you couldn't rationalize something so sudden and forceful like your feelings for fraser, and you were sick of trying. you were going to head into it like a car with no brakes, whatever the outcome might've been.
the clacking sound of your high heels on the marble floors was the only thing keeping your head from floating away. your arm was carefully draped over fraser's, and you walked side by side like a well-polished couple of actors from old hollywood.
you'd cracked a joke about how he put in minimal effort and obtained maximum gain with his "boring black suit". what you'd left out was that said suit fit him like a glove, and the way his hair curled at the ends and looked slightly less tousled than usual wouldn't allow you to look away and at the lavish crystal chandeliers or the tasteful floral arrangements, eyes too fixated on the man by your side.
nearly the entire night was a whirlwind of introductions, conversations completely out of your area of expertise and forced smiles. none of it mattered when you glanced around the room, somehow always meeting fraser's eyes. they carried something different, something deeper than the usual 'please come save me' silent request, but you didn't want to get too ahead of yourself with your wishful thinking.
after your social battery had run out, you'd found a secluded area in a different room, with a hard wooden loveseat and a bunch of old, dusty matching armchairs scattered across the space. your heels were disregarded somewhere on the floor, you were scrolling on your phone when the sound of the heavy door opening shot you on your feet.
then, your vision focused and you recognized your companion for the night, who had not only noticed your absence from the main hall, but had gone out of his way to come find you.
"you look like you're waiting for someone to throw you a lifeline." fraser mumbled as he stepped closer, and you couldn't help the muffled giggle that escaped your lips. "you also look gorgeous."
"i know, it was the first thing you said when we met earlier."
"that's how you know i mean it."
"maybe that's how i know you're a good actor."
all of a sudden you realized just how quickly the distance between the two of you had reduced to a couple of inches. you took him in, staring intensely at all the details you'd never noticed from afar, like the barely visible scar under his eye or the mole on his temple. his cheeks had a light pink tint, probably from the champagne glass you'd seen him holding earlier.
you hoped he wouldn't feel the weight of your look, but that hope vanished as his lips quirked upwards.
"what's up with you?"
"nothing, what's up with you?"
he jokingly scoffed, head shaking. "oh, then i'm the actor?"
"allegedly."
he hummed quietly, feet barely moving as he took one more step closer to you. you could feel his hot breath fanning against the tip of your nose. your heart was pounding so hard you could feel it vibrate in your ears. there was no reasonable explanation for such closeness, at least not according to your overly-conscious self.
fraser's hand moved slowly, almost uncertainly, inching closer to your face until his large, warm palm rested softly over your cheek. his gaze dipped down to your lips for a second, redirecting far too quickly for your liking.
"i can assure you i'm not acting."
"mhm, if you say so."
"what, you'd rather i showed you?"
your throat dried up before you could profess another word. you moved almost mechanically, hand coming up to grab the collar of his shirt. you wanted him closer. needed him, even. each breath meant inhaling the scent of his cologne, and you were certain it was messing with every single part of your nervous system.
his face leaned closer, making the air around you thick and heavy with desire. this time you were completely sure, there was no reason for him to be getting so close to you, if not to fulfill your dream and finally press his lips to yours.
the tension was palpable as you let yourself lean closer as well. your eyes fluttered shut, anticipation creeping up inside of you so much you could already feel the softness of his lips on yours and the slightly bitter and fruity taste of his champagne.
then, that very same old wooden door that had led fraser to you opened with a heavy sound.
"shit!" you and fraser whispered simultaneously.
both of you jumped away from each other like you’d just been electrocuted, breath hitching in your throats as you leaned forward to try and take a look at whoever the intruder was. you were about to ask, when the overly familiar and unmistakable head of auburn hair came into view.
mason stopped abruptly in his tracks when he saw you two stand awkwardly next to each other, you staring down at your nails and fraser tugging on the wrists of his shirt.
"am i... interrupting something?"
"no!" the two of you spoke up at once yet again, far too quickly to be reliable.
the older boy shrugged, eyebrow arching with doubt. then, he cleared his throat. "we're all about to head home, i'm pretty sure sway was looking for you."
you and fraser nodded quietly, stealing one more glance of each other. you slipped back into your shoes, grabbed your purse and followed them back into the main hall you'd escaped earlier, finding it already half empty.
you were barely there during the ride home, zoning out in your brother's backseat while him and his fiancée discussed salmon tarts and someone's gender reveal party. you felt like you'd been thrown back in time to the car ride that took you to boston in the first place, except you weren't holding back tears because of a boy, your mind kept going back to the almost-kiss with another one instead.
when you did get home, the mental fatigue was so strong you couldn’t bring yourself to get out of your clothes, throwing yourself on your bed and drifting off immediately. your thoughts lulled you to sleep, filled with scenarios that involved you and fraser finally managing to kiss and, god, so much more than that. you felt your skin heating up even in your half-conscious state.
you woke up to the vibration of your phone, mindlessly and carelessly resting on the mattress instead of the bedside table. after all, you were laying there in a gown and high heels, the phone had been the least of your concerns.
yet, the text that lit up the screen was under a name that suddenly erased every ounce of sleep still in your system. you sat up almost immediately, hands running through your hair as you gathered enough courage to actually open the notification from fraser.
'got a minute? i'm walking around the block and i wanted to see you'
that was it. he was going to tell you that what nearly happened the previous night was a mistake. maybe he'd been drunker than you thought, maybe it had just been the heat of the moment. every apocalyptic scenario forcefully materialized in your brain.
you were quick on your feet, shooting a text back and sprinting towards the bathroom to change into regular clothes. you caught your reflection in the mirror as you approached the front door to leave, taking in your frizzy hair and the overbearing dark circles surrounding your eyes.
hoping fraser wouldn't notice and you wouldn't have to admit that you were restless because you'd been thinking about him way too much, you left the house and squinted at the bright daylight attacking you.
fraser was right there, sitting on the steps of the apartment building with his phone still in his hands, screen showing your recent messages. hearing your footsteps from behind him, he turned around and your eyes locked. his lips moved immediately into a grin.
"good morning. rough night?"
you rolled your eyes whilst his laughter filled your ears. "so now you're making fun of me?"
"i would never, i'm simply concerned about your sleep schedule."
"told you, you're such an actor."
he stood up slowly, giving you just enough time to take the sight in: the sun made his eyes look an even lighter, icy shade, his muscular legs peeked out from his shorts and it was way too early for you to be thinking rationally.
"so, since you brought it up..."
he was most likely waiting for you to chime in with some silly remark, but the words never came out of you. you felt nervous, your palms were sweating with something between anticipation and pure fear, because you had no clue what route he was going to go down. the silence felt so thick you were sure a knife could cut through it.
he cleared his throat and beckoned for you to follow him, and you did. you weren't sure how that was helping the situation, but you two strolled along the sidewalk side by side, arms occasionally brushing and turning your stomach upside down.
"about last night, i-"
"we don't have to talk about it."
"i wish mase didn't interrupt us." he spoke up at the same time as you, cheeks heating up slighty.
suddenly, you felt like the dumbest person on the planet and hoped the earth would open up and swallow you whole. your panicked words caused his face to tense up: the shift was small but you watched clearly as it happened. your lips parted and you spoke again before your brain could process it.
"what would've happened?"
his expression seemed to soften and even his steps slowed down as the two of you reached the very same park you'd met at before, crossing the threshold through the open gate.
"come on, you know." he nervously chuckled, looking at your amused demeanor. "you're going to make me spell it out?"
"i'd rather you showed me." you quoted his words from the previous night, wide smile that mirrored his own.
"gladly."
he wasted no more time, he felt like the two of you had already wasted too much. one of his hands hovered your waist for a second, unsure of what to do, before finally settling on your body and using it to pull you closer. his other hand found its spot back on your cheek, feeling already familiar, like that was its rightful place.
he leaned in, you leaned in. every breath you took mixed with his own. then, after what seemed like a lifetime of waiting and yearning and longing, you closed your eyes and finally felt the softness of his lips slot perfectly against yours.
the kiss was messy, with bumping noses and restless hands all over your backs, but you wouldn't have wanted it any other way. you only managed to pull back once you both were breathless, heaving and foolishly smiling at each other.
"so, was this what you were about to do last night?"
he took his bottom lip between his teeth, uselessly trying to suppress a grin threatening to come through. his hand moved swiftly across your face, taking ahold of a stray strand of hair and carefully tucking it behind your ear.
"pretty much, yeah."
"and was it up to expectations?"
his arms circled your waist and he pulled you closer into him, pressing a quick kiss on the corner of your lips.
"i'd say it exceeded all expectations."
"you're infl-"
a car drove by with all the windows rolled down, the radio blasting the chorus of 'i want you back' by nsync abruptly interrupted your words. romantic lyrics about wanting someone echoed around you with peak comic timing.
"seems fitting." fraser chuckled at your irritated expression, which softened right after.
you shook your head, beaming while your arms wrapped around his neck. you stood there, ridicoulously close to each other and surrounded by chirping birds and shining rays of sun kissing your skin.
"trust me, i want you more than any stupid song could ever say."
Laila saying she hopes Will and Mack buy a mansion so she can live in their basement unprompted and then immediately talking about Will baking, saying she’s gonna ask him to make her something and going “Yeah, I want it on my doorstep as soon as I move in,” pausing and then clarifying: “To their place. I don’t know how to break it to them.”
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