MY CUTIES :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( I HAVE A THOUSAND SAD FACES. i can’t bELIEB I LOVE YOU GUYS ALL SO MUCH AND MY LITTLE BEANS LOVES YOU TOO THROUGH ME AND EVERYTHING OKAY. I’M SENDING A BILLION ETHAN CUDDLES EVERYONES WAY HERE HAVE SOME LOVE PLEASE AND DON’T BE SAD BABIES EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. PLEASE KEEP IN CONTACT WITH ME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE MY KIK IS @FAKENSTEIN IF YOU WANT ANYTHING ELSE JUST FEEL FREE TO ASK PLEASE I LOVE YOU GUYS ALL SO MUCH LITERALLY. I DONT KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I CAN SAY THIS BUT I REALLY CAN;T BELIEVE IT LIKE WHAT. ID ONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY ANYMORE. I FEEL LIKE IM SORT OF JUST BLABBERING NOW AND I SHOULD PROBABLY STOP BUT I CAN’T BC I DONT WANNA LET GO. ETHAN AND PARRISH’S ACCOUNTS ARE GOING TO STAY HERE JUST AS THEY ARE AND I WILL ALWAYS CHECK THEM IF ANYONE NEEDS ANYTHING. I LOVE YOU GUYS I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY :(((((((
A grasshopper? Ethan…Fine, I’ll come over with my full arsenal. I’ll be fully loaded though so it’ll probably be best if I go in first. Y’know, I know how to handle the weaponry.
I think. I’m not sure! It wasn’t making any noise or anything. I just saw it’s like..head before I dropped the shoe. So I don’t know. Okay..Yeah..I think that’ll be best then. I’ll just..wait outside then. Until your done..Yeah.
Is it too much to say that I totally threw the pair out? I mean, I went out and got a replica. But the thought of bug guts anywhere near me was a incredibly disturbing thought. I don’t like bugs.. I definitely don’t want them growing in my shoe. Now I’m definitely glad that I got rid of it.
No it isn’t actually. I’m pretty sure I’m going to get rid of these. Maybe if I can find the bug I’ll try to kill it with these before I throw them out. That way I have even more reason to. Were your shoes expensive though? That must’ve sucked a little bit. That’s my thought process too. I hate bugs. I mean I understand that they do some good for us sometimes, but they’re just so..gross.
Aha, you’re funny. I see what you’re saying though. Although there should be some kind of spray that can kill those, right? Who could ever resist a pair of new shoes though.
I think so. That’s where it gets complicated though..because if you spray it in your shoe then it might get on you and I don’t think people are supposed to spray that kind of bug spray on themselves. See. Exactly. It’s a win-win..kind of.
But I really don’t see how anyone can please everyone but themselves; we’re all different and even though we might not be happy, doesn’t mean we’ve made the whole world happy, ‘cause everyone will want and need different things and I think it’d just cause havoc. Still, though, it’s a nice thought… I’m sure a lot of people in the world deserve their three wishes.
Well wouldn’t that already be implied with the wish though? I mean, yes. Everyone has a different things that make them happy. It’s really sort of..general, but everyone thinks of one specific thing. So like..generally saying you’d wish to make everyone happy can maybe just bring them their happiness it all of its forms or something like that. It’s like telling everyone to pick a crayon, but not all the crayons are the same color. They’d still pick one though..I dunno. A lot of people do yeah..Everyone should have that sort of chance. What would you use your wishes on though?
So … you’re a cookie dealer? Is that it? That’s the impression I’m receiving from this whole interaction. It’s okay, Ethan. At this point, I’ve had worse happen to me.
I...I mean I guess I am now. It has to stay on the down low though now. Y’know if you want the best cookies. Oh..Well..I mean I’m still sorry..Like..I had them, but I didn’t really mean for people to like...get to them I guess..I mean..I don’t know.
Humpty Dumpty is supposed to be like part two of Bad Romance. So it was supposed to be posted a long time ago. Alright okay. Good bYE. I’m going to hide on my cop now.
I love you all. Let us plot.
alsoo: why the fuck is thiS PLAYLIST THING SO HARD IM TRYING TO DRAFT SONGS OUT FOR ETHAN AND I ALREADY HAVE LIKE FRICKING 20 AND 97% OF THEM ARE RELATED TO MAX LIKE CHILD CHILL GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER
“Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall; All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty together again.”
To say the past two weeks had been rough was an understatement. Ethan couldn’t tell what it was anymore. There had been so much going on and he kept trying to just make it all stop. He had wanted a little freedom from everything. A few reckless nights only brought him more trouble. They made him sure that he wasn’t going to be taking anymore big risks. He wasn’t that kind of person. He wasn’t cut out for it. He couldn’t handle stuff like that. It only brought him more and more stress.
Ethan hadn’t wanted to see anyone. Especially not Max. He had to now though. It wasn’t like he had a choice in the matter. He was his boyfriend again. Ethan never really had a choice in anything when it came to Max to begin with. Almost everything in his life was directed by other people. He thought with other people in mind over himself. He let other people take control of the situations or boss him around. He let them hurt him. Ethan was tired of it, but he didn’t think there was anything else he could do. He was weak. He just had to tough it out.
Right now he was accompanying Max at the grocery store. Max who had been so nice to him lately for some reason. He was an absolute doll which meant something wicked was due. Max was like a ray of sunshine that day. Ethan on the other hand had been feeling sick all morning. Such a shame for a beautiful day. It was warm out, but he wore a black hoodie. Zipped all the way up with the hood pulled so it almost covered his eyes along with his messy locks of brown curly hair. He just felt cold. He thought he was getting sick or something. It would make sense giving his actions from the past week. Luck never seemed to be on his side either. Ethan had decided to take control of the shopping cart. He could at least slouch over it and use it as support as Max walked along beside him gathering goods. He was being so nice and Ethan had no idea why. Something was happening. Something was going to happen. Or maybe it wasn’t. But it felt like it was. Something was happening. He couldn’t tell what. He didn’t know. It bothered him. It bothered him so much. Something was going to happen. He couldn’t get those thoughts out of his head.
Max was turned around grabbing some cupcakes as snack while Ethan found himself gripping the handle so hard his knuckles were turning white. Something was happening. His chest felt tight. Something was happening. He didn’t think he could move. Something was happening. Something was happening. He couldn’t get the words out of is head. Something was happening. He couldn’t breathe. Something was happening. Now. He was freaking out and he couldn’t do anything to stop it now. He was shaking. The brunt of it hadn’t even begun, but he already wanted it to be over. Shivering. He couldn’t breathe though he tried to gasp for air. Trembling. That was the worst part. The gasping. Feeling like you’re going to die. Like you’re trapped. Helpless. He should’ve held on. He should’ve tried to stop it. He should’ve tried to calm himself. He shouldn’t have taken that first breath. That was why he gasping now. He couldn’t help it though. His body was telling him he needed it. He was in danger. The only problem was that he wasn’t. Everything was perfectly fine, but he was drowning. He was dying. That must’ve been what was happening. It felt like that. It felt like his chest was being crushed so tight he’d shatter into a million pieces. It felt like he was being chased and hunted down by a hunger tiger, but he couldn’t move. His feet were cemented to the floor. It was happening. It was happening now.
To make it worse.
Max was right next to him angrily whispering at him to stop it. To “fucking stop being a pussy.” He was “embarrassing” him. To get it together. He was trying. He was trying so hard. Max moved the cart away from him so he could stand in front of him. The one bit of support Ethan had was gone now and he collapsed. It couldn’t have gotten much worse. He was shaking so much he couldn’t hold himself up anymore. That was sure to gain the attention of shoppers around them. This wasn’t happening. It can’t be happening. In public. It was getting worse. Not better. He was struggling to catch his breath and now tears were running down his cheeks. Maybe they had been the entire time.He couldn’t think straight right now. He was aware of what was going on. He’s had panic attacks before, but he never figured out how to collect himself. How to calm down. He needed help with that. Everything was just chaotic.
“M-ake it stop!! Please! Please!”
Blurry vision only revealed to him the lights above far too bright for him right now. Cereal boxes stacked up on shelves and numerous looking eyes. A pair of hands had gotten to him now. They were soft and gentle. Delicate hands trying to prop him up. A reassuring voice was trying to guide him back, but he couldn’t follow it. Breathe. Breathe with me. She was telling him. He was trying. His chest felt so tight and his lungs were on fire. A little voice in his head was telling him he couldn’t do it and the longer this went on the more he came to believe he couldn’t. Deep breaths were disrupted as he struggled to make things stop hurting. The moment he felt like he was able to get a little hold of himself the woman was gone. Big, rough hands replaced the delicate and caring ones. Max was heaving him to feet. Making him get up even though he wasn’t right yet. Max had pushed the lady away. Max was making everything worse. Max always made everything worse.
Curse words were barked at him harshly but he could barely understand. He was being carried away, slumped over his “lovers” shoulder as if that would help. He couldn’t do anything right. He couldn’t even control himself. He didn’t know when or how but that rush of adrenaline was gone now. Now he was just crying and chasing after his own breath. Stumbling endlessly. He was shoved into the back seat of the car with a little slap to his face. He needed to get his shit together. He was embarrassment. An Idiot. He shouldn’t even be there anymore. Max told him things like that. Maybe they were all true.
Ethan curled in on himself. He shouldn’t have. It wouldn’t help. It was cold again. Though Max was right there in the front seat of the car, driving recklessly to throw Ethan around in the back seat, he was so alone.
To say the past two weeks had been rough was an understatement.
It can be. I know where to get them like..giant sized..I can even make you some...What? Wait..No.. No..Not um..not like that..Um..No..Sorry..about..that. Again.
I suppose so, but can you really make everyone happy without displeasing someone? It’s a tricky thing, hence why I never wanted to get into politics — and I never did. Setting your genie free, though… that’s a nice thing to do.
Well...yeah, but I mean if you make everyone else happy then you’d really only be displeasing yourself..and I think that’s sort of okay. Cause you can always find other ways to make yourself happy. I think they’d deserve it. Having to grant people all these wishes for years and years. Everyone sort of needs their own little time.
Whoa bro, you really got it like that? Throwing away your shoes ‘cause a bug nested in it? Aha, I’m sure you’ll be fine. I was just messing with you. At least it’s gone now.
What? I mean...they’re just shoes..I have no idea what that bug was doing in there or for how long..I don’t think I want to end up with tiny bug babies in my socks..That’s even worse. It’s gone, but I have no idea where. Which is horrible.
theartofmadeline
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