Okay, it's been a while.
I am fully recovered now, never had a so low stable weight for so long before. I am enjoying the food I want, I don't binge anymore, I don't snack compulsively 'cause I am already having what I crave. Sometimes I still have some fucked up thoughts but those day I simply do not look at mirrors. Have a satisfying breakfast is all to me, sometimes pizza sometimes soy milk and biscuits... I am 47 kg (103) more or less, I don't weight myself much, sometimes I lose 1 lbs, sometimes I gain it.
Coming back here and read all these posts made me feel like looking at something miserable, so poor, so obsessive without even lasting result. Do yourself a favour, there are many ways to lose weight without controlling everything. Try have fruits and yog for breakfast, fruits or sweets during the day, a good pasta for lunch, vegetables and something at night, pizza sometimes... Do you really want to spend your youth eating ice? Feeling the fatty one who never eats? Is that for attentions? People has their own lives, they don't care for long about your problems, the only ones who do it (getting stressed, tired and sad) are your parents. Do you feel that you have a personality besides "that one who doesn't eat" (people don't find it glamorous, it looks like you don't have real interests, feel strange and self centered).
How many years have you been here? I've been stucked in this stupid circle for 8 or 9 years, being happy not having dinner and losing imperceptible weight the next morning (like you really lose fat in one night wtf), crying for a t-shirt... Are we really spending our life on this earth crying for a t-shirt? Do we have an identity without ed?
I don't mean to judge, I had been stucked there for a long time. Reflect on how you want your life to be, because in ten years nobody will care about you looking thinner or not...
