step one:
artemis fowl movie:
failed step one
The casting call for Artemis Fowl described him as a boy with a “fun-loving, open heart” so you knew before they even landed their eyes on the first mediocre white person the movie was irretrievably fucked
The casting call described him as what now
last i checked back in 6th grade, artemis was a fuckin dick of a child
“emotional intelligence” artemis fowl literally would rather die than express an emotion
im pretty sure he actually has on multiple occassions
im reblogging this again because i just remembered that artemis fowl hates being a Human Being With Feelings so much that he emotionally and mentally devastated *several* psychologists so badly that they gave up the profession, just because he didn’t want to admit that his father being declared dead and his mother falling into severe untreated mental illness such that she couldn’t recognize him on most days might, maybe, have upset him a little.
He literally found a way to kidnap a fairy and hold her for ransom in order to use half of said acquired funds to buy his mother a cure so that he wouldn’t have to admit to anybody that his mother’s mental health actually made him feel sad. You know, like any fun boy with a sense of humor.
