[livee-loudly]

Hi, hello!

You may know me as @spinny-bois or @writing-outloud or @ethan-is-sleepy. You may not know me at all. That’s okay.

My name is Ethan or Key. I’m 19 and I use he/any/neo pronouns. Im chronically ill, neurodivergent, and disabled.

I wanna talk about being disabled(and similar topics) more so I made a side blog.

I’m honestly not sure this will gain any traction, but if it does then that’s amazing!

The list™️

Legally blind

ADHD

Autism

FND

fibromyalgia

Rheumatoid arthritis

POTS

Bladder pain syndrome (also called IC)

NPD

ASPD

Hypersomnia 

Chronic migraines

OSDD

Gastroprasis

@pixopix for dividers

[ivy-is-dreaming]

I’m probably going to get hate for this, but i’m tired of seeing people with ASPD romanticizing "free cruelty".

Let’s be real: having ASPD doesn’t force you to be cruel for no reason.

​If you have ASPD and you’re a complete asshole, then you’re just an asshole.

The disorder might explain why you don't feel guilt or why you’re impulsive, but it doesn't hold a gun to your head and make you go out of your way to ruin someone’s day.

Conscience and conduct are two different things. Plenty of people with this diagnosis manage to exist without being toxic, if you can't, that’s a personality flaw, not a symptom.

I’m just tired of seeing people use their lack of empathy as a justification for being a bottom-tier human being.

I know it’s hard sometime. I deal with the same impulses, the same problems. But having those urges isn’t the same as acting on them. Not feeling empathy doesn’t remove the ability to recognize harm and choose not to cause it especially when its just free and without reasons.

Cognitive empathy exists for a reason, you can understand that an action is shitty without needing to feel the other person's pain.

If you choose to be a jerk because you think your diagnosis justifies it, you’re just proving everyone’s worst stereotypes right.

Lack of empathy isn’t a free pass. If you understand something is harmful and do it anyway, that’s a choice. You can have zero feelings and still have enough logic to not be a nightmare to everyone around you.

One is a neurodivergence, the other is a choice.

[livee-loudly]

This!! I understand it’s hard, but your aspd does not cause you to be an asshole. You’re just a jerk.

My girlfriend and I have spent years working on helping me improve because for a while; I just acted purely on impulsively urges simply because I wanted to, and then I’d blame my aspd. That’s not okay.

I still get angry. I still lash out. The difference is; I know my aspd isn’t an excuse. When I hurt people, I apologize. I apologize because I know it’s wrong. Even if I don’t feel sorry, I know it was hurtful because I have basic common sense.

[msh2o2]

My hot take this that people with ASPD have some of the lowest self esteem of any demographic, even worse than BPD, but it's coupled with such apathy that they think they're unbothered. Oh you think you're basically evil? You don't care what happens to anyone, including yourself? You don't think you can love or be loved? Your objection to describing yourself as a terrible person is the person part, not the adjective "terrible"? You hurt people and animals because nobody, including yourself, believes anything better of you? If someone's nice to you they're just trying to manipulate you? Please ... tell me more about your mother.

[livee-loudly]

Hey, just by the way if you get uncomfortable with my disability, you’re uncomfortable with me.

Fuck taboo, if I wanna talk about the fact it hurts to piss, I will If I wanna talk about the fact I throw up so much it’s what I expect after I consume anything, I will If I wanna talk about the fact I spend so much time on the toilet that I once fell asleep there, I will

And if someone wants to talk about their feeding tube? Their stoma? Their catheter? Then they can.

And if you’re uncomfortable with anything I’ve listed - and anything I forgot to mention - then you need to reevaluate yourself. Because it’s all normal. It’s all part of being disabled.

And if you get uncomfortable with taboo parts of disabilities, than I can’t imagine how you treat people with them.

[livee-loudly]

So I was diagnosed with mild gastroparesis around late May. We think there might be more going on. Something with my acid levels. Kinda nervous honestly

[livee-loudly]

I think I might have Gastroparesis, currently working on contacting my doctor

I’m only able to eat one meal a day, and it’s about half the size of what I used to be able to eat. I don’t throw up my food, but I gag constantly and get really intense stomach cramping and pain.

Zofran helps me keep my food down.

It’s got to the point where I went to the er the other day, the only thing that really helps relieve the pain was morphine.

If I want to eat more after my one meal, I just eat crackers. It’s all I can eat.

The er did a ct scan with contrast, they said from what they could tell nothing is burnt, torn, inflamed, or damaged. They also said it’s not crohns.

Any tips? Advice? I really don’t know what to do here :/

[ethan-is-sleepy]

Okay, hi. More serious post than normal;

I want to ask that if you interact with reblog bait and do not tag it properly to please not interact with me.

Reblog bait is very upsetting for people with ocd, intrusive thoughts, paranoia and anxiety. It can cause panic attacks, spiraling and more.

I don’t care if it’s “clearly a joke.” Tag it. Tag your posts. It’s the bare minimum on this app.

If you don’t care about people with mental illnesses, do not interact with me.

[ethan-is-sleepy]

Hi, okay I’m still mad, so posting again:

Just because something doesn’t disable you, doesn’t mean it doesn’t disable someone else.

We can have the same condition and be affect different, but don’t deny the fact that it can have a negative impact on someone else in a way it doesn’t you.