Just Another Blog

[nyyyoooooooom]

quick “STOP THE COUNT” meme dump so I don’t lose these gems

[brimalandro]

[samjoonyuh]

Some days I feel like Beyoncé and some days I feel like Rihanna…

[farahjxsmxn-deactivated20150612]

there are no in betweens

[theroguefeminist]

little known fact, once you are older & no longer in school, time stops being real. did that thing happen one year ago? two? five? a few months ago? who knows. 

[egzpl-deactivated20160802]

Licia Ronzulli, member of the European Parliament, has been taking her daughter Vittoria to the Parliament sessions for two years now.

[ceevee5]

Every time this is on my dash, it’s an automatic reblog.

[love-personal]

[mangocarta]

so i went to the zoo yesterday and saw the cutest family of otters ever

and then i checked their names

they’re all NAmED aftER fOOD

EXCEPT kEVIN

WHY

WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS

[thetalkingcrocus]

i was curious (and kinda hoped that kevin was like, the manager of the whole foods) so i googled it and: 

[liberissima]

RUTABAGA. THE POLL ONE IS RUTABAGA NOT KEVIN.

[getgoingilbert]

[curlsandstems]

Don’t do drugs, ladies and gents. 😂😭😂😭😂😭

[thewanderingnegro-deactivated20]

“Whats your safe word?”

[curlsandstems]

That part had me weak 😂😭😂😭😂😭 

[paninimami]

“You think I’m in pilates?”😭

[trashg0d-deactivated20180217]

“watch ya fingers bootyhole man!!” Lmfaooaoaoaoooo

[justcariii]

Lol i need to be his friend

[southernbitchface]

“Every strong man got a sensitive side”

[h3llraizer]

Lmaooooooooooooooooo

[7thblacksheep-deactivated201907]

“Ooo that’s cute”

[decolonialtheoryandweed]

Bruh I love this dude! Why is he getting arrested and is there a link for us to send money to bail him out?

[meladoodle]

my friend angella was doing a comedy gig, and as soon as she came out a guy shouted ‘can i give you my number?’ and all the crowd groaned cause it was so inappropriate but angella was like ‘yeah sure’. the guy started shouting out his number and she started entering it into her phone. the whole crowd was like woaaah. she got the whole number and then dialled it and it rang. everyone lost their shit. finally the guy answered and angella just said “hello? shut the fuck up” and it was the most incredible thing i’ve ever seen 

[alex-plante]

So some of these details are probably wrong, it happened a long time ago so I don’t remember the specifics leading up, but it was incredible. A friend of mine who does stand up was doing his bit at open mic one night, and a guy was heckling him. Just being a total asshole, and then his phone rang and he started talking loudly on his phone about how he’s at open mic and this guy isn’t funny, etc. Now the weird thing about hecklers is that they just want to be a part of something most of the time, so my friend said, “hey man, what’s your name? Can I see your phone for a second?”

The guy actually handed over his phone, and my friend hung up, and scrolled through his contact list until he found the person he was looking for. He hit dial, and starts.

“Hello? Is this [Name’s] mom? Great! It’s very nice to talk to you. I’m a comedian in the middle of my standup routine, and your son is being very rude, [lists off some of the things her son said]…. hold on, can I get you to repeat that?”

He takes the phone away, puts it in speakerphone and holds it up to the mic.

“I said, I’m sorry my son is being such an asshole.”

Everyone lost it. Fuckin’ destroyed by his own mother. My friend said it was one of his proudest moments ever.

[avfwdrugec]

Gentle reminder that the human eye is naturally drawn by noise and movement, so the next time you walk into a crowd or a bit late into a lecture or something like that, they’re not staring at you or judging; it’s just an instinctive reaction that has nothing to do with you doing anything wrong.

[amymaymusings]

This really helps my anxiety.

[princess-quiet]

trying to spell necessary like

[verinistired]

That’s more letters than nesseccessary

[vessel-ryan]

A tip for spelling necessary: a shirt has one Collar and two Sleeves. One C and two S’s. You’re welcome

[tardis221b]

i organise my homework in order of urgency by how scary i find the teacher

[wayneradiotv]

hey… that’s…. uh…..

[unclefather]

She learned that on Pinterest

[weavemama]

CHRISSY OMFG

[popsgod]

[anarchetypalarchive]

i was talking to my cousin yesterday and he was talking about an accidental mistake he was dealing with, and proceeded to describe it as, “i picked a whole fuckin’ bouquet of whoopsie-daisies” and tbh i’m still thinking about it

[largishcat]

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻