Why Can’t Life Be Like A Novel? @livelaughloveandread - Tumblr Blog

Wymack: You think I got to choose my players? Because you’re all such an exy dream team?! You, *points at Andrew* you’re lazy.

Andrew: *deadpan stare*

Wymack: You’re whiny.

Aaron: *looks deeply offended*

Wymack: Queenie over there is downright depressing!

Kevin: *looks a little hurt, but shrugs as if to say fair enough*

Wymack: And you Josten, you’re just annoying!

Neil: *grins diabolically*

#briefly considered switching Kevin and Neil #poor Wymack #all for the game #the foxhole court #aftg incorrect quotes #neil josten #andrew minyard #coach wymack #kevin day #queen kevin #aaron minyard

Dan: I think we’re missing something.

Matt: Teamwork?

Allison: Cohesion?

Kevin: A general sense of what we’re doing?

Dan: We lost Neil, guys. We lost Neil.

Matt: Ah shit.

#all for the game #neil josten #incorrect quote #aftg incorrect quotes #low key canon?#credit to @casually_chaotic for the format

Matt: Just be yourself buddy! Say something nice!

Neil: Which one? I can’t do both.

#all for the game #neil josten #aftg #matt boyd #matt is so done #he though he found a kitten and it turned out to be a feral mountain lion #the foxhole court #incorrect quotes #how i met your mother

Allison would hate that jorts are popular again.

#i hate it too #neil would wear them just to fuck with her #or because he can’t be bothered and picks the first basic thing he sees #neil’s terrible fashion sense #why are the 2000s back in style let them die #allison reynolds #neil josten #all for the game #aftg #aftg shitpost

*Organizing Thanksgiving dinner*

Abby: And Kevin, you can bring the mashed potatoes.

Kevin: I can do more than mashed potatoes!

Aaron: *Sarcastic* Sure you can.

Kevin: You’re damn right I can! I’m doing the turkey.

Abby: Kevin, honey, are you sure that’s a good idea…

Kevin: I’m doing the turkey!

*3 hours later*

Kevin: *Alone in a kitchen, desperately trying to stop more smoke from coming out of the oven* Hello? Butterball Hotline? If I cook the stuffing inside the turkey, is there a chance I could kill my guests? *Under his breath* Not that that’s necessarily a deal-breaker…

#kevin can’t cook but he also refuses to back down #they get Whole Foods turkey that Thanksgiving #Aaron is intolerably smug #none of the foxes let Kevin forget this ever #aftg #thanksgiving shenanigans #all for the game #aftg incorrect quotes #kevin day #clueless kevin #abby winfield #aaron minyard #andrew minyard #matt boyd #coach wymack #dan wilds #allison reynolds #nicky hemmick

tomhiddletson

Pride & Prejudice (2005), dir. Joe Wright

crimsonclad

We don’t talk enough about how part of Jane falling for Bingley is that he thinks Elizabeth is DOPE AS SHIT and openly loves hanging out with her. Cute nice boy has taken Netherfield at last? Great! Cute nice boy who would legitimately be super stoked if Elizabeth ended up being a spinster aunt who lived with them and taught their children to embroider their cushions very ill indeed as long as she kept laying down sick burns? MARRIAGE MATERIAL.

Post-book Mr. Bingley is ALWAYS excited before parties where Elizabeth will be in attendance, because he knows she is going to make some very unexpected jokes and he will be in STITCHES and also in AWE and yay for loving and supporting at least one of your in-laws.

geekybibliophile

@zombeesknees

ferociousqueak

#i mean Bingley genuinely LIKES Darcy#they’re a classic combo of golden retriever and aloof dignified cat#so of course golden retriever Bingley is going to meet Elizabeth and go YES GOOD A NEW CAT FRIEND#DARCY COME MEET MY NEW CAT FRIEND#Darcy: HISSS#Elizabeth: HISSS#Bingley: SEE WE’RE FRIENDS

via @pagerunner

gaiusthegenius

So are you saying that Bingley should have started by setting Elizabeth and Darcy at opposite ends of the table and gradually moving their food bowls closer together as they grew used to each other’s presence in order to successfully introduce his two cat friends

livelaughloveandread

We do not talk enough about how Mr. Bingley is the original Elizabeth-Darcy shipper.

Andrew: *Walks into the room and turns to Matt* Where are we today on the saga of Kevin and Neil?

Matt: They seem to be having a… disagreement.

Andrew: *Raised eyebrow* A disagreement or a fight?

Matt: It certainly has the potential to—

Kevin: *From the other room* OH FOR GOD’S SAKES, NEIL!

Matt: There we go.

#all for the game #neil josten #kevin day #andrew minyard #matt boyd #Matt is so done #Andrew just thinks Neil and Kevin are hilarious when fighting

Aaron: I have hatred in my heart.

Andrew: Toward whom?

Aaron: Go ahead and pick ‘em.

Dan: *so done* seriously, why do you two speak like this?!!

#all for the game #andrew minyard #the foxhole court #aftg #aaron minyard #seriously the twins speak like their in a Dostoyevsky novel way too much #aftg incorrect quotes #west wing quote

Neil: I swear on my life, I’m telling the truth!

Kevin: *raised an eyebrow* I’ve seen your life, swear on something else.

#all for the game #neil josten #kevin day #Neil’s life is a mess #aftg #incorrect quotes #chaos

Abby: On a scale from 1 to 10, rate your pain.

Neil: Pi. A minimal, but never ending number.

Abby: *facepalm* Neil what the fuck.

Wymack: What do you mean minimal?!!! You were fucking shot!!!

#Neil is canonically good at math #Abby is trying to roll with it #wymack wants a raise because this is above his pay grade #Andrew is definitely two seconds away from murdering someone #all for the game #neil josten #the foxhole court #aftg #coach wymack

Neil: Alright, I’m going to call my uncle-

Aaron: I already called the police.

Neil: *deeply offended* You called the police before you called me?

Aaron: *incredulous* I’m supposed to call you first when I find a dead body?

Neil: *so done with this* YES!!!

#tbh neil probably has more experience with dead bodies than the police #andrew would have definitely called neil first #all for the game #aftg #aftg incorrect quotes #aaron minyard #neil josten

Nicky: *after becoming the Minyard twins’ guardian* I need an adult!

Nicky: *with a rising sense of horror* I AM an adult.

Nicky: I need an adultier adult!

Wymack: *knocks on the door to recruit Andrew*

Nicky: *with obvious relief* You!

Wymack: Huh?

#poor Nicky is going through it #wymack to the rescue #poor wymack doesn’t know what he’s getting into #all for the game #aftg #the foxhole court #andrew minyard #aaron minyard #nicky hemmick #coach wymack

Allison: What do you want me to do? Apologize?

Dan: Yes.

Allison: Over my hot, rich, dead body.

#Kevin and Neil are having the same conversation in the next room #all for the game #the foxhole court #aftg #allison reynolds #dan wilds #leading the foxes is hard #aftg incorrect quotes

Allison: We’ve got daddy issues, daddy issues! *points at Matt*

Allison: Chaos junkie *points at Neil*

Neil: *feral grin*

Allison: Mommy issues *points at Aaron*

Aaron: *glares*

Allison: More daddy issues *gestures to Nicky*

Nicky: *pouts*

Allison: Obnoxious ASSHOLE issues *points aggressively at Andrew and Kevin*

Andrew and Kevin: *no reaction*

Allison: Then YOU— *points at Renee and Dan* you seem kind of weirdly self-actualized, as far as I can tell.

#trying my hand at this #the foxes have ISSUES #the girls have more of their shit together than the guys #with the exception of Allison #Neil actually qualified for all of these #all for the game #andrew minyard #neil josten #the foxhole court #aaron minyard #kevin day #aftg incorrect quotes #aftg #allison reynolds #matt boyd #nicky hemmick #dan wilds #renee walker #neil josten is a chaos gremlin

livelaughloveandread

Andrew and Neil fit the good girl/bad boy trope with Neil as the bad boy and Andrew as the good girl

livelaughloveandread

Guys, Andrew is the guy with straight A’s and a sport scholarship just trying to get his brother and cousin through college. Then we have Neil, with his laundry list of crimes and involvement in the mafia, who keeps picking fights with dangerous people.

#neil josten refuses to keep his mouth shut #Andrew is just trying to get through college guys #minus the drugs thing #that was messed up #Andrew needs better coping methods

Andrew and Neil fit the good girl/bad boy trope with Neil as the bad boy and Andrew as the good girl

#hear me out #back on my bullshit #all for the game #the foxhole court #aftg #andrew minyard #neil josten #andrew x neil #andreil #tropes #book tropes

quasi-normalcy

It’s Not a Plot Hole, It’s Foreshadowing

vs.

It’s Not a Plot Hole, It’s Just Something That They Opted Not to Spoon-feed You Because It Would Be Obvious If You Thought About It For 20 Seconds

vs.

It May Be a Plot Hole, But It Still Works In Terms of the Story’s Themes and Character Logic

vs.

Okay, It Is a Plot Hole, What Are You Going to Do, Cry about It?

quasi-normalcy

vs.

All Works of Fiction Represent Constructed Realities and by Demanding a Lack of Plot Holes, You Are Improperly Importing the Rules of Objective Reality into a Subjective Creation that Must Be Judged Primarily on Its Aesthetic Merits

vs.

Dude, Just Come-up With a Headcanon Like A Normal Human Being

lostsometime

vs.

Is It Really a Plot Hole, or Are the Characters Just Not Making the Choices You Want Them To?

livelaughloveandread

Also, people should stop asking the impossible of others. Especially fanfic authors, who are writing for fun and so others can enjoy. They are not getting paid for this shit. Be. Nice.

#fanfiction #fanfic psa #be nice #not commenting mean shit doesn’t cost you a damn thing and might even save you some time

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Why Can’t Life Be Like A Novel?