But then there is his whole dynamic with Ahab and Holy fucking Moly, the tension is unbearable. The rollercoaster of emotions these two take you on throughout the narrative? Insane. There is a whole new post to be written about "The Quarter-Deck" alone, because that is a manipulation masterclass if I have ever seen one. What I will say though, I finished this book with a ton of head canons for these two especially in my head (and tears streaming down my face on a beach but yk) and I was shocked to find that some people think this is their first whaling trip together. Like, WHAT? There is definitely history there. And plenty of it, if you ask me.
What I really want to get into, though, is their last scene together. All throughout the story we find Starbuck practically begging Ahab to be let in and when Ahab lets him, for a moment of "The Symphony" it's almost enough, almost but never quite. At this point he spent years trying to convince Ahab to live - and let live, but he keeps on failing. But even as a reader you'll feel this surge of hope, you can feel AHab really considering it and then he presses too much, wishes too much. Because in the end he loves too much. Something else happens though: Ahab decides that he wants Starbuck to live. Ahab himself considers himself too far gone, beyond saving. The moment he shares with Starbuck, maybe even the man himself, makes him think of home, of his wife, of his son. And I wondered, did he try to find peace in the thought of Starbuck returning home and being able to tell his son of less ghastly stories of the old man, who they say has gone mad? Did he manage to find some hope in the way he knew Starbuck would not let Ahab's son think of him as the "old cannibal" if he were lost at sea in the hunt for Moby Dick? So: Starbuck has to live. The problem however is that Starbuck doesn't want to live if that means sacrificing his captain. And it's not just a sense of duty, not even just his religion that makes him hold on to him. And hold on he does.
Or at least, he tries. The scene between them on the third day of The Chase hurts enough to take the numbness you feel beforehand away. The way Starbuck disregards everything and physically clings to Ahab, begging him with tears streaming down his face not to go, not to leave (him) broke me. And honestly? Ahab tearing his arm free and leaving without looking back, in my humble opinion, shows just how much any second more of that would've torn at his conviction. Starbuck surprises him a few times throughout the narration and everytime it shakes Ahab up pretty bad, but I think this might be the most intense one. Yet, even then, even halfway through the Chase he still tells Ahab that it's not too late, that he still wants him safe, that they can still go home. Even if by then, he doesn't believe it himself anymore. He doesn't believe anything anymore.
Starbuck tries to hold as hard as he can, yet when they die at the hands (fins?) of the same foe, they die seperated. And somewhere here lies the true tragedy. There is no saving one another, no comfort, no nothing. Instead, Ahab has to watch them all die, has to watch Moby Dick take the last of his hope, the last of his love, because I do believe that in his own borderline, twisted way he did love Starbuck. The prophecy is fulfilled, another ship sunk, another Starbuck drowned. And the drama is done.
This is, however, where the play does come into, well, play. Because after an abbreviated Chase, we see these characters again, twice actually. One time in the black attire we've seen them in for most of the play drifting towards the audience and later, dressed in all white in a scene that seems entirely too happy for a drowned crew, singing about being "too wild to die". And while it is a goddamn catchy song (as almost all of Anna Calvi's songs are) and the little dance moves make it very charming, I never get through it dry-eyed. And that is- for me, aside from the general tragedy of the story itself, in huge parts accredited to a teeny-tiny acting choice Heiko Raulin, the actor who plays Starbuck (and does it phenomenally, I might add) makes. One after one the characters come trickling back on stage, singing the song, dancing a little, looking almost happy, relieved maybe... but not Starbuck, he still seems tense, still on-edge, the dancing feels slightly stiff, performative in a way up until one moment; when at last, Ahab rejoins the crew as the last one. Upon this reunion of sorts, the biggest, softest smile known to mankind appears on his face and he hardly glances away from Ahab for a moment, all the fight, all the tension bleeding out of his body. And I'll be damned, if I ever stop crying at that.
(My friend keeps telling me I'm delusional and that it could actually also be him being happy about being back on stage with Rosa Enskat, the wonderful actress (yes, you read that right) who plays Ahab, which I would 100% understand, but don't believe.)
What I really want to say is: These men will be the death of me.
ellievsbear
izzy806
gracieabrams
areudirty
stormborns
theartofmadeline
snowghoul
pixelskylines
