older (and wiser): i
synopsis: in which time could have never undone what she left.
A/N: FIRST WANDA FIC!!! had this idea long ago when i was crushing hard on this girl from the theatre program at my uni; around that time i had also seen ‘past lives’ and i wanted to do something similar with that film. also at my core i know wanda maximoff would’ve totally been a theatre kid, this is me paying ode to that. while this specific part doesn’t go into that, i am gonna work on a sort of prequel to this Short Series…anyways enjoy!!!
pairings: wanda maximoff x reader
genre: angst?
warnings: it’s sad. but it gets hopeful…
MASTERLIST
please do not repost my work anywhere for any reason at all. if you do see this happen to any of my stories, please let me know. thank you x.
it had been years.
wanda had finally decided to take a breather. she’d been working non-stop ever since she left for work all those years ago after college.
she didn’t think she’d get so lucky off that one job, that it’d immediately get her into another, or another, and so on and so forth.
she loved her work, sure, but now it was catching up to her. everyone in her life, her manager, her agent, her family had all begged her to slow down.
“take some time off, wanda.” her agent, daniel had said to her during a meeting. wanda’s eyes traveled between daniel and her manager, samara.
the meeting had all been a set up. what wanda thought was supposed to be a discussion on a new project, was actually a ploy. she had no idea the meeting was meant to convince her to take a break.
“yeah right.” she scoffed. not believing in what they were saying.
“we’re serious, wanda.” samara stated, her eyes stern but with genuine care. “when was the last time you had time for yourself?”
wanda remained silent at the words. all of a sudden she felt like a kid being scolded by their parents. and she wished to be anywhere else but in the room with them.
“really.” daniel starts. “go be a real person. smell the flowers, meet people, fall in love, take in the view—”
“i meet people all the time, daniel.” wanda quickly cut in.
all daniel could do was shake his head, a sigh escaping his lips as he tried his hardest to make the woman in front of him understand.
“you know that’s not what i meant, wanda.” he gives her a pointed look.
with a jaw clenched, she crossed her arms over her chest and looked off to the side. the windows overlooking los angeles now seeming more interesting than this conversation.
“we know how much it means for you to work, we know how much you enjoy it, but you’ve been doing it for so long. we just want you at your best.” she hears samara say. and as much as she hated to admit it, daniel and samara were right.
wanda hadn’t stopped working since she started. in fact, it’s all she can think to do. she didn’t have anyone outside of work—no partner, no obligations except to her family. why stop when there was nothing waiting for her?
wanda knew the answer but wouldn’t admit it. she might as well never have fully faced it.
the truth was, she’d loved someone once. she’d loved you. and no matter how much time had passed, the thought of you still gnawed at her.
though everything was perfect for a while, her career was well off, she was successful, and her family was proud.
but wanda couldn’t help asking, is this really it?
of course, she tried meeting people. she really tried. she didn't like being miserable over someone she hadn't been in contact with for years. but even that wasn't enough. it was honestly a bit pathetic. it had happened years ago. four years, to be exact. wanda should’ve been well moved on by now, but she isn’t. at least not entirely.
so, she poured everything into her work to distract her from that gnawing feeling inside her. the one that had been lit up all those years ago. the one that was tamable with you around.
but you’re not around, and wanda couldn’t help but throw herself into more work hoping she could get rid of it, get rid of you. but she hasn’t.
“listen, wanda,” daniel cuts her train of thought. “your work is important and people need it, but to keep it up to that degree, you need to go out and just be a human.” he finishes.
wanda sighs. she leans forward on her knees and drops her head into her hands. daniel was right. they were both so right.
wanda never properly dealt with things. maybe it's time she finally did.
she looks up from her hands, a look of defeat yet understanding, with pursed lips she finally says,
"fine."
and now, two months later, wanda finds herself back in los angeles, in an empty home, eating expensive sushi.
she had gotten off the phone with her brother, pietro, who had just joined her on the recent trip she’d been on.
a trip that he insisted he’d join her on to make sure wanda would do all the resting and touristy things she should.
she had done all the traveling she could do in the last two months, jumping from plane to plane. talking to strangers, being a tourist in european cities, and befriending random people in planes.
now, wanda actually had time for herself, time with her brain. a thing she honestly didn't want to face. because even thinking about anything made it even more real.
but now wanda was bored, and the movie playing on her eighty-inch television wasn't doing much to entertain her. and it also didn't help that it was eleven pm on a thursday night and all wanda could do was feel bad for herself.
so she does the next thing she had been really trying to avoid,
stalking your social media.
wanda herself wasn’t much active online these days. she had much to do day-to-day and week-to-week, rarely would she ever have the patience to sit down and scroll through her phone much. that and she honestly tried to stay off of it.
but now she has the time. and the patience. and honestly, she’s a little scared at what she could find.
she tells herself it doesn't have to mean anything. just a little check-in to see how you were, after that she'd really work on trying to forget about you altogether.
and with the simple type in of your name, wanda finds your instagram. your profile picture, a professional headshot of you, and a bio that reads,
editor in chief.
New York Times contributor.
something that shouldn't have made wanda's chest burst with joy, but it does. and as she scrolls further and further, she finds that you now reside in new york city, that you've moved on well without her and that you have a cat and a boyfriend.
boyfriend.
she shouldn't care so much, but she does.
you were living your best life. the one you had always wanted.
just not with her. not with wanda.
but she doesn't stop there, and she ignores the lump in her throat as she exits your profile and searches for your mother's name.
and maybe she feels her heart break a little when it turns out the boyfriend you had is actually your fiancé. she finds out through a photo your mother posted.
the picture shows you, and a handsome man next to you. you’re both sat outside some restaurant in the city, his arm is thrown over your shoulder while your right hand clutches his left, and there it is. in all its glory—with the diamond on it catching the suns light perfectly. the ring on your finger.
it doesn’t help that he looks so in love with you.
out for lunch with y/n and paul again! i promised them an engagement lunch and we were NOT disappointed. make sure you try Jack’s Wife Freda if you are ever in SoHo!!#motherinlaw #NYC #loveinnewyork
is what the caption reads.
wanda freezes at the fact and immediately throws her phone on the empty seat beside her. she stares at it like it had just offended her.
many things go through her brain. how did you meet him? was it shortly after you broke up? was it really him you wanted to spend forever with? how long did it take for him to ask?
wanda had always loved your mother. a sweet woman who always had your best interests in mind. she had always pushed you to do what you loved. and wanda had always seen that some of her favorite traits of yours had come from her.
after the break up, your mom made sure to check in on wanda. without you ever knowing, wanda and your mom kept in touch, until eventually wanda had cut her line for the sake of fully moving on.
though, she never really fully did.
wanda evaluates what to do next. was this her sign? she doesn’t want it to be sign.
wanda doesn’t want to admit that it seems like you had moved on so completely.
on impulse she looks up your fiancé’s name. “paul” is all she had to type out in your mother’s following before she found his account.
she finds that paul is just as successful as you are. he’s an investigative journalist, born in ireland. he briefly worked at a publication in london but transferred to a firm in new york after a year.
he’s gorgeous, she thinks. he has blue eyes, a kind smile, and he has an accent. it would make perfectly good sense why you would choose him.
wanda’s stomach twists with a mix of happiness and regret.
“fuck!” She whispers to herself.
“of course, you’re happy. of course the man you’re engaged with is actually a decent man! fuck.” wanda says to no one in particular. in frustration, she burries her hands in her hair.
wanda is annoyed at herself.
“i need a drink,” in an instant she’s on her legs making her way to the kitchen. she finds a bottle of wine that has been kept cool in the fridge and she wastes no time in popping it open, she pauses briefly, debating on whether she’d need or glass or not.
to hell with a glass. she thinks, and makes her way back to the couch, she holds the bottle by its neck and takes a long swig from it.
it’s all so perfectly miserable. wanda maximoff stalking her ex-girlfriend on social media while she gets wasted. the self loathing has got the best of her. she finds it all ironic.
wanda maximoff could have anyone she wanted. she knew this. she has everything she could ever want or need. she has credibility, a nice home, the luxury of traveling at any moment she wants.
yet, her mind kept coming back to one thing. the one thing she’d decided she’d leave behind all those years ago. it isn’t fair, she thinks. wanda was young and stupid back then, but she was so so in love. she knew that for sure.
but sometimes…sometimes she really wishes she had fought harder.
briefly, wanda wonders if your number was still the same. if you had ever changed it or at least tried calling her. she wouldn’t know, she had changed it years ago once she started getting more attention for her work.
wanda was really drunk at this point. her better judgment had gone away as soon as she’d picked that bottle out the fridge. there was no better time than now.
she taps on her phone until she lands on the number keypad. her fingers hover over it, would she regret it if she didn’t? probably. would she regret it if she did? probably.
but if there was one thing wanda had, it’s that she’s got nerve and audacity.
so she types in the number that she doesn’t think she could ever forget, and lets it ring.
your fiancé answers the call.
“hello?” an irish accent sounds through the speaker. paul. wanda’s blood runs cold and she stays silent for a moment. all of sudden she feels incredibly sober and regretting making the call.
“hi.” she pauses. “uhm, i’m looking for y/n?” wanda manages to squeak out.
“right! who is this? your number isn’t saved.” paul says,
“an old friend. i changed my number a while back.” wanda replies smoothly.
“oh! let me pass her to you, she’s just in the kitchen.” the line goes quiet for a few moments, and she’s able to hear a few words exchanged between you and paul.
“hello?”
wanda freezes again, a hand covers her mouth as she tries not to shake at the sound of your voice. it’d been so long. she grips her phone tighter.
“hey…” her voice shaky and unmistakable. you know it’s wanda.
“wanda?” your voice betrayed the surprise you felt. from the couch paul caught your eye, a raised eyebrow on his face. everything okay? he mouthed.
you shook your head.
“i wondered if your number was still the same.” wanda says after a moment. her tone light, but with an undercurrent of something else.
your mind raced. why was she calling you? why now? your fiance was in the other room, you were getting married soon. you’d built a life perfectly fine without her in it. so why was she calling you now?
“how have you been?” her voice cuts through the line again. wanda holds the phone close to her ear, wanting to make sure she could hear every word you say.
and all you can think of is how confused you were.
“i- i’m fine. i’m good. yeah.”
“that’s good—”
“i’m sorry, uh…why are you calling?” you find yourself cutting her off. your fingers press against your forehead in act of trying to understand what was happening.
wanda pauses. she realizes just how impulsive this whole thing was. she’s on the phone with her ex of four years, while your fiancé was probably in the other room. she goes silent again. her words have to be carefully measured.
she gulps,
“uhm…i just—i just wanted to know how you were. heard you’re based in new york now...so…” wanda trails off. you don’t miss the tone in her voice as she says those words. the familiar rasp, the lowness of her voice, she’d used it many times on you when she wanted something.
you close your eyes with a sigh, “yeah. yeah, i live in new york now, engaged and everything.”
wanda smiles through the phone, her eyes almost prick with tears at the corners.
“i saw," she says just above a whisper. "congratulations, you…you’ve always wanted that.” and she means it. she knows better than anyone how much you’ve wanted this.
suddenly a wave of nostalgia hits you, and you’re brought back to when you were both in college. so young, so dumb, but god, it was one of the best times of your life. you try not to let it affect you, how much this call seems to be doing for you. you haven’t yet figured out if it’s a good or bad thing.
“thank you." your voice softens. "how have you been?” you find yourself asking her next.
wanda smiles at your question, “life has been…insane, you know?” she pauses on the line. “still missing some pieces, but overall i’m doing well,” you pretend not to hear the sudden shift in her voice when she said that.
you exhaled quietly, unsure of what to say. the air between you felt charged with unspoken words, old memories stirring to the surface.
“can i see you?” she asks, her tone hesitant. “catch up in person? i’d really like to see you.”
with your bottom lip between your teeth, you contemplate your next words. paul notices your tick from the other his seat on the couch, despite you telling him it was okay he couldn’t help but worry. he’d heard enough of the call to know something was wrong. still he knows you had it down, so he waits until you need him.
you struggle to find your words for a moment, the question being so…why?
“oh, wanda, i don’t know if—”
but wanda ever the stubborn woman she is, doesn’t relent.
“please. Just for some coffee and conversation.”
your mind is torn between keeping your peace or taking wanda up on her offer. but you were curious.
with a sigh you finally decide.
“where and when?”
you can hear wanda’s smile through the phone,
“i can fly to new york anytime you’re free. you can pick a spot and i’ll be there.”
you think for a few moments.
“okay, meet at caffe reggio in greenwich. i’ll be in touch with when.”
wanda’s heart stutters, something she hadn’t felt in a while. her eyes flutter closed, she breathes in— out. her eyes open again. and though you can’t see it, there’s a new look in her eyes.
“i’ll be there.”
Oohhh I already am so excited for this!!!!!!
