hidin' all of our sins from the daylight

LAURIE JAMES JORDAN twenty eight. lifeguard. fairford. desire was silent yet magnificent, like a thousand daisies attuning their faces towards the path of the sun, and here you come with a sheild for a heart and a sword for a tongue.

[ljjames]

every bottle I have stolen lay shattered on the floor

LAURIE JAMES JORDAN. TWENTY EIGHT. LIFEGUARD. FAIRFORD.

biography ◎ connections ◎ aesthetics ◎ musings

[ljjames]

[ljjames]

[bburich]

MICHAEL EVANS BEHLING @ Giorgio Armani

[ashaisabelle]

Studying his face, Asha could tell that all of this was weighing on him. It weighted on her too. Clawing at her back constantly. There was just this unbalanced scale of emotions, that she felt was mainly on her part. Sure, Laurie had played his part early on but these days it was definitely her.

Laying her head on his shoulder once more, she grew very quiet as her mind wondered. She was battling with herself. Tell him all of her trauma or continue to let him live in the shadow of her past. He deserved to know why she often held him at arms length and pushed him away any time he got too close.

Did this have the potential to ruin literally everything? Yes.

Was she willing to risk that? She wasn't sold.

"Did I ever tell you why I moved to Fairford?" She found herself asking him despite all of her reservations.

[ljjames]

@ashaisabelle

Despite the fact the back and forth between the two was incredibly draining, Laurie knew he would never truly stop fighting for Asha, not until there was no chance left for them, but he knew deep down he wasn’t at that point yet. He’d been told all his life, if you love something it’s always worth fighting for, and that’s exactly how he felt about Asha. He could tell she had a lot on her mind, it wasn’t often they sat in silence together, he knew she spoke her mind but this time was different, she was hesitant.

He kept his hand linked with hers, his teeth pulling his bottom lip in between them as he glanced over at the woman, concern filled deeply in his eyes as he let her take the lead. “No actually.. You didn’t.” He spoke softly, hoping his voice would have some comfort for her, make her feel safe and all that jazz, despite the fact he himself felt out of his comfort zone. Her quiet demeanour already told him it wasn’t something she liked to talk about, but he hoped she trusted him enough to share. “Before you do, just know I’ll still think the world of you, regardless of how or why.”

[ashaisabelle]

Asha knew she could be a walking conundrum. She was complicated in all the ways that mattered most. Still though, Laurie was there. Even when she upset him, hurt him, and pushed him away. He was there. He understood her on an unspoken level, even without knowing all the gritty details about her life.

He had patience for her. She wasn't sure if that was exactly the right word, but it's the one that she had in the moment.

She took a sip of her drink as he placed his hand over hers. Talk to him. The words were ever echoing in her head. The issue was, Asha never asked for clarity. What did Harper mean by that. Was she supposed to admit that she loved him, tell him about her trauma, or just talk.

Life was like Avril said why'd you have to go and make things so complicated? "The issue is... I don't know what to say," she tells him as she turned her hand up and interlocks their fingers. "So... we can settle for just... being here..."

[ljjames]

@ashaisabelle

If Laurie was honest, he wasn't sure why he had stuck around for Asha all this time, it was plucking away at his heart but he just couldn't leave. She was incredible, everything about her had Laurie in awe and even when he was trying his hardest to stay away she still managed to draw him in like a moth to a flame. It was infuriating yet he was head over heels for her, the angel on his shoulder telling him to cut things off but the devil pushing him closer only made him want her more. He swallowed down his feelings in this moment, as he grew older he was learning to listen better, think more and that's all he wanted to do for her, be there and listen.

Laurie wasn't sure what to expect, her sister had pushed for them to talk, a moment he had reeled off so easily in the comfort of his own home alone but now it's as if the words had just vanished, he didn't know if he had it in him anymore. His head nodded as she spoke, he wasn't going to push for anything from her, he had realised pressing her for answers or an explanation had only built a wall higher between them. "You don't have to say anything. It's fine, I'm here." He squeezed her hand softly, his thumb stroking her smooth skin as he took a deep breath in.

[ashaisabelle]

That was the thing about them. She wasn't sure if he had this too but she could often feel his presence when he was near. Like a sixth sense, the fine hairs on the back of her neck would stand at attention. She could also, often times feel his emotions. Obviously it wasn't always accurate but she felt that she was pretty good at reading him. Afterall at this point they'd known each other for a few years and there was a time that they were velcro.

So, that said, she could tell that he was nervous. She could sense his hesitation and his push and pull of wanting to respect the boundaries that she'd put in place and his longing to be near her. It was a gift and a curse to be in tuned with him in this way.

"I'm sure," she breathed and when he finally sat down, placing a distance between them, she closed it and rested her head on his shoulder.

She sighed out and nuzzled herself into his side despite the stickiness of the summer air. "Harper said I should talk to you..." she admitted to him. "And I told her, hell no." Lifting her head from his shoulder, she looked at him. "Yet, here we are..."

[ljjames]

@ashaisabelle

The feeling Laurie felt when near Asha was something he would never be able to explain properly, as much as things were not always easy between them, he knew she just understood him and he didn't have to pretend to be anyone else or be that guy everyone had high expectations of. The idea of not being in Asha's life didn't feel like an option for Laurie, he cared so deeply for her and although it sounded dramatic or extreme even, he wasn't sure he would know what to do with himself. Asha was always on his mind.

He finally let go of the breath he was holding in as she spoke, his teeth pulling in his bottom lip to stop himself saying anything more than what he needed to in this moment. He wasn't expecting her to close the gap between them, let alone rest her head on his shoulder, it took him back a little but he stayed put as he just embraced how close she was. It toyed with his mind though, one minute she was knocking on his door for sex, the next she was avoiding him at all costs, asking for a clean split and space and now here they were sat next to each other, both closed off yet so vulnerable at the same time. Laurie stayed quiet as she spoke, he wanted to let her do the talking and if he was honest, he still wasn't sure what she wanted to hear from him. "Here we are." He whispered, his hand moving slowly to place it on top of hers gently.

[eclvpses]

open: @fairfordstarters location: shooters

"Mmkay," Leo hummed under his breath, eyes narrowed theatrically at the deck of tarot cards he'd stolen from a con man hours ago that'd been robbing people blind. If someone was going to scam a crowd too inebriated to know anything better, it was going to be Leo. "The cards are saying you're... going to go through a change. And it'll be good. And you'll be happy. Or sad! Depends on the change. Very intuitive, right? And that -," Eyes widening, he pressed a hand to his chest as if scandalized, "You want to buy me a shot! Baby bird it into my mouth? Pervert - ugh, fine, do it. Before I change my mind. I'm going through a celibate phase, y'know. Way to break my streak."

[ljjames]

Laurie raised his brow as his fingers tapped the table before him, he had never really been a believer in the whole tarot cards thing and definitely not from the mouth of Leo Fowler. He shook his head, taking a sip from his glass before leaning back in his chair, his forehead furrowing. "This is bullshit man. You can't say a change is going to happen but not have any idea what the actual change is." He threw his hands up, his eyes rolling before letting a chuckle leave his lips. "I'll get you a shot, but absolutely no chance I'm baby birdin' it into your mouth, gross."

[ljjames]

rumor has it youve taken up salsa dancing lessons to impress a certain someone

"I mean, I like to say I'm a pretty good dancer but there's no chance I'd take up salsa just impress someone, trust me."

[ashaisabelle]

To say she was sad about the situation with Laurie was an understatement. At this point, she genuinely didn't know how to feel. She should be ecstatic that he was respecting her boundaries but they were still friends, right? That's what she never wanted - for their friendship to be over. He was her first friend in Fairford and she loved him deeply, despite it all.

Sighing out, she tossed some hair over her shoulder, brushing her bangs to the side a little as she shook her head at herself. Just talk to him! It shouldn't be so hard, but it was. All that she'd gone through during her teenage years was traumatic and she never really dealt with it. She just swept things under the rug and kept right on pushing. She didn't have time to dwell - she had to survive.

Feeling Laurie at her side, she inhaled a breath. This is what she wanted, yes? For him to come to her. Slowly she lifted her eyes to him, her teeth catching her bottom lip as she gazed up at him. She nodded silently before she looked away, staring off in the distance. "You can sit," she offered him, patting the cold ground beside her as she continued to stare off at nothing and everything.

[ljjames]

@ashaisabelle

For some reason, this felt ten times harder than the last time they split up, it felt more personal and the more Asha pushed Laurie away, the harder it was to pull himself back in. He knew he had messed up last time by letting the woman go, he was foolish and he liked to think he had grown up more now, yet here he stood with Asha still trying to deny him. His eyes glanced around at his surroundings as his heart was screaming for him to just talk to her, he had missed her presence so deeply and yet he so desperately wanted to respect what she had asked, it was draining the soul out of him and he wasn't sure how much longer he could cling on to the thread hanging between them.

Laurie shuffled on the spot as she patted the curb beside her, his mind running over her words as he let himself actually believe she wanted wanted to talk to him. "You sure?" He whispered, he didn't want to overstep and damn, did he feel vulnerable right now. Pulling his hands out of his pockets, Laurie took a seat next to Asha, close but not too close to disrespect her. It wasn't often he was unsure what to say to her but he found himself speechless, hands resting on his knees as he sighed softly, eyes drifting to catch her gaze.

[ljjames]

rumor has it you’ve sworn off dating forever

"Maybe I'm just waiting for the right person to come along, never say never."

[ljjames]

rumor has it that you fumbled the bag with asha... twice.

"Ya boy has no bag, actually. Nothing to fumble."

[windsorbay]

FAIRFORD MEME #2 — RUMOR HAS IT...

Everyone loves to keep up to date on all the latest gossip and drama that goes on around this town...whether you want to admit it or not. Now is your chance to anonymously (or not) send everyone the juiciest rumors you've heard about their muses.

Rumor has it...

REBLOG THIS POST to participate. Like anything else, common courtesy applies — make sure you're sending asks out to others that are taking part! We all want to have notifications next to our inboxes. Have fun 🤍

[rouxed]

she  was  interested  in  the  idea  of  drag  shows.  despite  what  she'd  seen  on  tiktok,  aviva  had  never  been  to  one  in  person  --  she  didn't  really  know  what  to  expect.  the  crowd  seemed  lively,  excited  for  the  event  to  start.  as  the  other  turned  toward  her,  she  rests  her  elbow  on  the  counter,  glancing  at  the  menu.  it  was  just  a  little  intimidating  trying  to  pick  what  she  wanted.  frown  on  her  face  as  eyes  read  the  menu  over  again.  "oh?"  eyebrow  quirks,  shifting  the  weight  on  her  feet.  "trying  something  new  for  the  occasion  or  just  'cause?"  she'd  been  thinking  about  the  same.  "usually  a  rum  kind  of  girl,  but  their  long  island  margarita  sounds  pretty  good  too."

[ljjames]

@rouxed

Laurie shuffled on the spot slightly, turning to face Aviva with a smile on his face as he leant on his elbow on the bar. "Just 'cause, decided it would be good to mix things up once in a while." He shrugged, taking a sip of his drink before catching a glimpse of the crowd around them. "Long island margarita, sounds like it could be one of those drinks that gets you wasted without realising."

[ashaisabelle]

After the song rolled from one to the next, the realization dawned on her. He wasn't coming to her. He was respecting her wishes. That was something that she was extremely happy about, but at the same time - damn him!

She could approach him but she'd approached him at the festival, she'd gone to his apartment a few days later. At this point, considering everything that's transpired since his love-bomb, she'd look foolish.

She wasn't going to be the fool for anyone. Not even Laurie.

So, when a guy pressed himself behind her, she glanced back at him with a smile before she began moving with him to the music. She tried not to look, but her eyes kept finding their way over to where Laurie was standing, just to see if he was watching.

And when the dance was over, Asha found herself thanking the guy for the dance, but she was done. She needed some fresh air. Moving through the crowd, Asha shuffled and scooted until she was outside on the sidewalk. She let out an air of relief as she settled for sitting on the curb watching the cars go by.

[ljjames]

@ashaisabelle

The resistance to keep himself from gravitating towards Asha was immense inside of Laurie, it had felt like forever since he had been anywhere near her and he had to admit, he missed her massively. Yet he found himself stood firmly against the wall, cup gripped tightly in his hand and his feet grounded to that spot on the floor, he wasn't going to be that guy this time. As the songs rolled on, Laurie sunk his teeth into his bottom lip, he admired Asha from afar and watching her dance with the guy in her presence definitely began to start a fire inside of Laurie. His eyes fell to the floor, then around the room, focusing on anything he could without directing back at Asha as his mind went into overdrive.

With the next song blaring over the speakers, Laurie glanced back over to the dance floor, his body perking up from the wall as he noticed Asha had gone. Shit that was it, his chance was gone in an instance. Checking his watch for the time, Laurie placed his cup in the trash before heading through the crowd and out the door, shoving his hands in his pockets as he wasn't in the mood for partying any longer. Avoiding the swarm of drunk bodies, Laurie shook his head before noticing a familiar figure sat on the curb. His mind was at war with itself and whilst he debated on whether to approach Asha, the words a clean split ran through his mind at a million miles an hour, space was what she wanted yet he found himself stood inches away from her. "Asha, you alright?" His voice was soft as he stood beside her, his hands still buried in his pockets. "I know you want space, please know I'm respecting that.. But I just wanted to check that you're ok.."

[tallulahcarter]

"Hmm," Lu considers his answer from her seat on the countertop, taking another sip from her red solo cup.

"Bet you do a lot of online shopping, huh?"

[ljjames]

@tallulahcarter

Laurie tapped his fingers against the side of his red cup, a small chuckle escaping his lips as he listened to her response. He did actually enjoy physically going shopping, but if he was honest the mannequins did freak him out so online shopping was a better option. "I do and I don't, I like to go shopping but if I'm busy online shopping is the way to go." He shrugged, taking a sip from his cup. "Enlighten me then, why don't you trust birds?"

[1000-year-old-virgin]

Libianca ft. Ayra Starr & Omah Lay - People (Remix)