@lln0tcoolj - Tumblr Blog

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batbetbitbotbut

Safety first!

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For those who needed to hear it today

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the-big-mood

Costco CEO Ron Vachris did the “CEO eats his own product” challenge by destroying a hot dog (and confirms the Costco hot dog combo is staying at $1.50 forever). LEGEND.

Show your unwavering support for Costco’s iconic $1.50 hot dog combo

Your favorite $1.50 Kirkland Signature Costco Hot Dog, now on a T-Shirt! American Apparel Mens Shirt Iconic AA classic tee shirt in our fin

ruinedchildhood

Most people know the warning from Costco founder Jim Sinegal to Costco’s previous CEO about raising the price of $1.50 hot dog combo: “I’ll f**king kill you.”

This exchange Sinegal has with the Seattle Times is better:

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thememedaddy

toolusingmammalgirl

This is 100% the gay supervillain music video I’ve been waiting for.

I love campy gay villains, but gay villains of this type are amazing too and sorely underrepresented.

psshaw

…Oh, so by “gay”, you mean. Actually gay.

groovy-bastard

I don’t usually reblog stuff like this but tbh this is the kind of content I live for.

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Happy 10 year anniversary to these two, specifically

(single dropped Dec. 3, 2015, music vid hit youtube Jan 12, 2016)

the-august-one

Happy Pride Month!

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I was innocently buying a soda and a Kit Kat bar from a snack shop recently when the cashier said, "Oh, a Kit Kat! That's what I named my cat!" and then launched into An Monologue.

Nobody was behind me in line, which seemed to be a good reason for her to treat me to a five minute retelling of the identification, rescue, and argument over initial custody of Kit Kat, who was so small they thought when they first heard him crying for help that he was a bird and not a kitten in a tree, and is now fifteen pounds of "pure, sculpted lardass".

And I didn't mind, precisely, I wasn't bored or anything, but around the time she was bringing me up to speed on Kit Kat's current status it occurred to me that this woman is a cashier in a store that primarily sells candy bars and beverages. People must buy Kit Kat bars from her multiple times a day. Does she do this every time there's nobody in line behind the purchaser? Did I just have that I Own Several Cats And Will Enjoy Your Cat Stories look about me? Was it the first time it occurred to her that she sold the brand of candy bar she named her cat after? Was she new to the job of selling Kit Kat bars?

The idea that every time she sees a Kit Kat bar she is gripped by the urge, Manchurian Candidate style, to retell the story of Kit Kat the Cat, elevates her from a friendly cashier to a deep enigma. Truly there is no knowing the mind of another.

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IT GETS FUNNIER

I was in the same snack shop, which I'm in, like, once a month, recently. I only recognized her because I spent five minutes listening to this monologue in sincere wonder. But I did recognize her, so as I was buying a soda and a Milky Way bar (this time) I said, without thinking about how this would come across, "Hey, how's Kit Kat?"

She looked genuinely horrified and said, "What...how?"

"Oh fuck!" I blurted. "Sorry! You told me about him last time!"

This is still quite cryptic as responses go but she gave me a frankly frantic look of sudden recognition and said, "He's fine! You bought a Kit Kat! I was unmedicated!"

I did not inform her she is small town famous on Tumblr and instead just said, "Glad you're both doing well!" and we parted as confused and mortified friends.

Gosh she's fun. I hope she's there next time. I want to reenact the Spiderman Pointing meme with her.