Unbusogable

[lloydnaga]

Warning: Do not backread

Unless you like Jollibee!

[lloydnaga]

Happiness and sadness coexist. It's just a matter of perspective.

[lloydnaga]

Change of plans...

I was not able to update my blog for weeks and it saddened me because one of my New Year Resolutions was to create an online diary through Tumblr. I was hoping I could continue the routine for the whole year but it turned out the task was hard to maintain. I was busy and the work had really drained my energy these past days. I was not able to find time to share what had happened to me. I thought it would be great to summarize my February. This day marked the end of this love month and a couple of other things. My best friend, whom I have known from the first time I stepped in Convergys had filed her resignation letter and today was her last day. I would really miss her. But she said she felt wonderful because she would finally experience a normal life again. I thought it would be best to be happy for her. Today was our fourth month in this company. I was glad we made it this far. I had build friendships and more in Convergys. I was blessed to be put in here. My bosses, my colleagues, the staffs, and everyone were all fine people. They inspired me to a better person and of course, had given me a lot of opportunities. I learned more things, discovered places, became acquainted with more people. On the day the I would file my own resignation letter, I would never forget to thank these guys. Today, like many other days, I was in the mood for it was pay day and my shift was only for four hours. It was an overtime I committed as per TL's request. She was not there. I still had a bit of doubt about her. She was angry at what we did a few days ago. I posted a picture of my friend on Facebook. She was sleeping, and I could not blame her. I, too, was sleepy that day. It was just for fun and my friend knew that. My TL, however, was not in the mood for games. She suddenly seemed so serious and said she could issue a DAF for our behavior. She thought sleeping in the floor was a big deal as much as using a phone inside. She never bothered to ask who really took the picture. It was taken by one of our friends and was just sent to me through Facebook. It was not me who took it but she probably thought otherwise. I was not bothered at all. It was for her to decide. Bottomline was, there was a bad blood currently going on between us. Not only that I was not feeling good about her. I also found out I failed the SME Intern exam by one mistake. It was my fault. I would not blame anyone because the answers were chosen by me and it was a serious regret. I was not thinking right and it caused me more than what I had gained. On the bright side, my name was still posted on the bulletin board as one of the top agents in the whole production floor. I was ranked four for NRR Champions and one of the few people who got perfect 5.0 in the scorecard. We were Amazon Victors for month of January and it was really a pleasure for others to find out my hardwork. There were a lot of stuff going on in our office right now. One of them was the opening of the Amazon Store, where we can purchase grocery items in exchange for the points we earned for our NRR. Since I had a lot of points, I was able to buy chocolates, chips and a lot of other good stuff. I was thankful for the creativity and encouragment from the management.  I could definitely feel their support and trust. My life outside work was equally fun-filled. We had a lot of food adventures lately, French Baker, Tapsi Ni Vivian, My Little Store, Gerry's Grill, Gumboo and a lot more. I was glad to have all my friends to take me with them and let me experience little but exciting adventures in life. I was also able to try gun shooting. It was an achievement to be able to use a real gun. I knew it would be tiring but at least I had tried. I knew I needed to pamper myself. Today, I had my first facial from Flawless. I used to go for a treatment monthly but when I started working, I forgot to take care of myself and I became less conscious of how I look. I just realized I had to bring back some of my good old habits because we only live once and I want to live this life. I thought to change my plans in reaching my goals in life. I would start first on myself. I would lose weight and have them look at me and think to themselves. I would stay humble and less extravagant for my future. I would be on a more positive look and would make use of everything I have. I would enjoy my simple life until I became ready for more. The good thing is, I still have my Twitter account, that I never fail to update. You can read through bits and pieces of my life there. Just search @LloydNaga. Till next time!

[lloydnaga]

February 12, 2014

Even good things must come to an end. Rest days are over because I'll be back to work again tonight. I'll have to make sure I can get the most sleep I can. That I finish reading a considetable amount of pages. That my mind is refreshed from the stress I carried last week. That I have catch up with all the stuff needed updating. Today I was able to survive the scorching heat of Manila, by being on bed and eating the amazing food my mom prepares. I was left alone in soltitude, having the thoughts of life, of what the future holds. Oh. Sometimes I can be deep. I just don't understant why people fuss about their dates on Valentine's Day on the Internet. I couldn't help noticing everyone is buzzing about their relationship status, or other's, and how bitter they are with love. Well, much as I enjoy the concept of love, I hate the people being so stereotypical about it. What if you don't have a date? What's wrong with being single? What's the fuss about being alone? Like, is it required to have a date? Last time I checked it, it's the day where we celebrate the day of a saint. Not the day to find a better half. Don't get me wrong. I know it's seems sweet to have someone on a dinner and bring you chocolates and flowers but that's only if you already have someone before. Do not hurry love because love is to be built, not to be found. And don't judge me for judging you because I know you think I'm right. On other news, I am now nearly done reading Blood of the Fold. Things are getting exciting as I come close to the end. I have already downloaded the next book in the series, Temple of the Winds. I bet it will be as great as the previous one. I want to personally thank the author for putting so much of this awesomeness into words.

[lloydnaga]

February 11, 2014

After what it felt like forever, I finally got my day off. It hadn't occur to me before that working in a call center would be so stressful. I knew it would be hard to find time to sleep but not the fact that some callers would be a headache. I was right though that the environment would be fun. Thanks to my team. It's like being at school and home at the same it. Today is basically about sleeping and being able to do what I like aside from everything I'm able to do at work. Oversleeping, over-eating, over-browsing on the Internet, and all the lazy things. I'm able to catch up with my cyber life and keep my mind sane by pondering about my life and how blessed I am. My mom, of course, is here to feed me with good food and to take care of everything. She's my superwoman and I will never get tired of loving her. Dad, on the other hand, is here to spoil the fun. I don't know what he thinks of himself but I don't like the idea of him. And my sibs, I can't bare to be disturbed by now so I'd like to thank them for not going about my business. I like how many great things I discover when I'm alone. The same as when I'm with other people. Life is about learning to me and it's good to know something you hadn't known before. Imagine if you know the things you should know, then you shouldn't have faced the problems you have right now and was enjoying life instead. A few days from now and we'll get our salary again. I couldn't wait because I have a lot of things to buy for myself and maybe for my family too. I must consider now that I'm done with my old life and be the responsible guy I know I am. I can't be the same person because this is what I wanted even before. I remember I told myself I'd have to learn English because one day, I'd use it and it would be my key to success. I remember when confidence is not present in my dictionary. I remember the days when I'm still afraid to try, that everything will be served to me. I learned. I knew I'd have to work to get what I deserve and I'll make sure I'd get every single bit of what's for me. One day.

[lloydnaga]

February 10, 2014

What I like about being able to sleep at home and taking cab in the morning is the fact that I don't get the hassle, it's fast and everything is smooth. What I don't like is the fact that it's costly. I love going to work on Mondays. Because it means it's Sunday in US and we receive low volume of calls on this day. It was such a nice day because we're not stressed and we're not bothered much. We were able to chat with each other and we absolutely made the day as fun as possible. I, however, was focused browsing my computer. I was on lookbook.nu where I found all the fashionable and lovely people. I was in love. The more I scrolled, the more I fell in love. I was hooked by some people. Especially men and women with very artistic photos. I'm jealous and inspired at the same time. Haha I was also able to eat a lot today because my mom gave me extra money. She's the best. The only problem I had today was my schedule. I was confused earlier as to what's my real shift. I was informed my shift was supposed to start at 3am and ends at 12pm but what I saw on our schedule folder and on our Facebook page was different. I was at work from 5am-2pm and I just advised the moderators and my lead about all the miunderstanding. Anyway, good thing my offs on my real schedule was plotted for tomorrow and on Wednesday. I just needed to know that because I was craving for a rest day for almost more than a week now.

[lloydnaga]

There is no growth in cycle.

[lloydnaga]

February 9, 2014

Today I was able to get a nice sleep. I woke up in a dark, cold room, stretching and prepared to work. I got a long call that lasted for two hours. It was a call from an old lady who wasn't a tech savvy. She's naturally talkative and wanted me to explain to her every details of details and was able to be patient. It was all worth it because she gave me a commendation at the end. She specifically asked for my supervisor so she could tell how wonderful I am. It made really happy. My food today was all from the 10th floor. I realized I'm obessed with their hotdogs and pasta. So I went there back and fort. This day was somewhat special because I felt the peacefulness of the workstation. We were only a few but I was able to laugh and move freely. There were no loud people around me. Just my closest friends whom I like to share jokes and stories. It was actually an entertainment to listen to their calls. These lovely people. After the shift, my friends and I ate first at McDonald's before going the back to the floor to finish our board. It was our final chance because it will already be judged tomorrow. I'm not excited though. Haha. But at least my picture on the board was exceptionally cute. Just kidding! A funny thing happened when I went home. I was supposed to go down the train at Pureza station but when I realized where I was, it was already too late. I missed one station. It was kind of annoying but also hilarious. I was daydreaming so I didn't notice I was already on the station. Well, good thing it was only one. That was my first time to miss a train.

[lloydnaga]

February 8, 2014

I woke up at 3:00am because my mom set her alarm. How nice of her to wake up that early just to make sure I will not be late. But because I was too stubborn, I nearly didn't make it on time. Good thing I was able to clock on just in time. It was a critical day because today would decided if I was a key contributor for the week or not. I did all my best today to lower down my NRR because I already got a lot of unwanted responses. It was a tough job but I still managed to reach the thin line. There was a lot of drama and moments earlier today. My friends were having individual problems. One had a problem with his schedule. One had a battle against himself. One with her partner. It was a chaos but we still survived. Or so I thought. We ate separately but in the same place. A sign there really was something wrong between the two of my teammates. It was sad. But everyone went on their daily business. I, myself, continued to strive lowering down my metrics. I did it and I was glad I got enough positive responses. Before we end the shift, we were pulled out by our lead for team meeting and for us to work on our board. There was a competition between all the waves in the production floor. Whoever got the best bulletin board wins. I wasn't actually expecting because all we had in ours were feathers. But still proud because our wave always belongs to the top when it comes to metrics.

[lloydnaga]

Sometimes I wish...

Sometimes I wish I was a different person. A better one. Someone with a British blood, maybe. So I could have tantalizing eyes and a cute accent. Or Brazilian, perhaps, for great skin and well-defined cheekbones. Or even American, to be blond, fair and well-built. Sometimes I couldn't tell. But I knew from the start, that I could have chosen any, if given the choice. I don't really hate how I look. As a Filipino, I have the normal Asian-look. I have normal-sized nose, normal-looking eyes, normal body-type. I have a brown skin. Nothing stunning. I stand 5'10", which is already considered tall. But for me, it's not enough. It's never enough. I mean, I'm thankful for all of these but.. If I was someone else.. It'd be better. I'll feel better. I'll live a better life. Or I think I will. Probably. It's not all physical, of course. Sometimes I wish I have a different personality, too. I'm too emotional. I feel jealous and insecure all the time. I can't control my anger and I make wrong decisions most, if not always. Sometimes I feel confident but it fades easily. I usually comfort myself with imagination which leads to lies and deception. Even I, fear to be honest. Because honesty may hurt and being hurt is the last thing I want. Sometimes I think.. What if I was born on a different time? At a different place? I wouldn't know what I know today. I wouldn't be with whom I'm with today. It kind of pains me to admit. It kind of make me feel guilty to think that I sometimes wish to be different. But deep inside, it seemed the what I really want. Every time I feel the comfort of life,  I feel less lonelier. But show me someone or something beautiful, and my world will turn upside down. That's how easily I get conscious and envious of others. Sometimes I wish I wasn't the good guy other people think I am. I never smoked. I do not drink. I hated tattoos and piercings. Because all of it suggests what kind of people you are. But sometimes, I wish I do all these. To get rid of my old self, somehow. Everyday and night is daydream for me. Sometimes I wish I was rich, or that I had magic, that I had a perfect somebody who's always there by my side, that I was famous for being genious, or that I could solve all my problems. But dreams weren't real. Dreams were made up stories. Almost a lie to oneself. Overthinking is a habit to me. Sometimes I wish I know how to stop myself from minding what happened and what will happen because sometimes, I tend to forget what's currently happening, what is being served to me by life.

[lloydnaga]

February 7, 2014

I'm having serious problem with my NRR this week. I can't think of anyone to blame but the carriers and some customers are just plain stupid. Looks like I just have to make up next week. I don't think I can still lower down my current metrics. It's sad because I'm currently number one in ranking. We ate lunch at Jollibee and had funny conversations. I could feel the change in my body. I'm so fat already. Ah. This is not good. We went to Countryside again after shift. My friend drove her car under a sunny afternoon so we can taste again the yummy bopis and lechon kawali. It was worth it. I always love the food and ambience in that restaurant. I also ordered a box of chocolate that we consumed on our way home. It was a relief to see mom back home. At least I got a nice sleep and I also got some personal time. Yay!

[lloydnaga]

February 6, 2014

Last night before I slept, I went to Jollibee to eat my dinner. I was so tired but I still tried to finish a few chapters in my book. I also ate my breakfast in there and ordered the same spaghetti. I really love it. The taste is perfect for my liking. The calls I got today were somewhat bad. I was saddened I have a high NRR. I needed to work really hard to lower it down. I couldn't let my standing and my team to fall down. I managed to get my score as 5, fortunately, before the shift ended. At lunch, alone and went back alone too. Earlier, I was really occupied with reading. I was in a really good part. Today was kind of exciting for me. My best friend gave me two iPhone cases. She's so sweet. It was just sad that she already filed a resignation letter. She was the first person I've known when I applied at Convergys. She was with me from the time we were taking computer exams and was with me when we signed the contracts. We already shared a lot of fun experiences. I understood why she wanted to leave. But it didn't change the fact that it was a sad news. I felt like I'll be losing one of my close family. Anyway, just as the shift ended, I hurriedly went outside and headed to Cubao. I was thinking of eating something different. It just dawned on me that mom will be back later. Maybe that's the reason why I'm hurrying up home. I went to the foodcourt first inside Gateway Mall and decided to eat. There were a lot to choose from. I also ate an ice cream before finally taking the train home.

[lloydnaga]

Failure is never wrong when you give your best.

[lloydnaga]

February 5, 2014

Last night, I was so tired I couldn't will myself to even stand. I haven't eaten dinner nor cleaned myself. I was just in bed. I  wasn't able to go to Convergys. I actually woke up early. I just couldn't figure out what kind of sorcery made me get out of bed an hour before my shift. I took a cab in the hopes again that luck will side with me. I was on time. Just in time to take calls. At first I was seated in the farthest bay, near the huddle room. But after we came back from eating breakfast, I was back in my favorite station. Before we end the day, our team lead pulled out us to have a team meeting. It was actually a very sad moment because our lead told us a shocking news. It was sad that she'll be alone in the floor. She'll have us of course. But to lose your better half is a different story. After shift, we decided to eat at Ristorante Bigoli. My friends and I were influenced by me. We ordered pastas and our favorite parmesan potato chips! We were so full! I always love the service and great food in there! Then we parted and took separate cabs on our way home.

[lloydnaga]

February 4, 2014

I was at the sleeping quarters, hearing the familiar sound my friend was playing in his phone. It was on repeat and I couldn't take it anymore. He said he didn't want to change the song because he would not sleep. I went to the floor, with the hopes of getting good calls. But all I got today were dull, irksome ones. I nearly ran out of patience for most of my customers. All of them were complaining even though you already offered help. And sometimes, I needed to sound with authority, to stop their madness. I mean, what's the point of calling for customer service if they wouldn't listen? Good thing my friend and I were already okay. So we ate together at Jollibee for lunch. I ordered three plates of spaghetti. It was so good. Since we only got few calls in the afternoon, we were allowed to fix our bulletin board and were pulled out from our stations. We decorated ours with lots of feathers for our eagle team. Since the name of our team is Primera Harpiya, I thought it was just relevant. After our shift, we decided to try Countryside Restaurant. A spacious diner with pictures of food arts on the walls. It was one of the best place I've visited in Quezon City so far. We ordered different food from the menu so we could taste them all. I asked for longganisa, bopis, my new favorite lechon kawali and two servings of rice. They were all good! The lechon was heavenly! It was crispy and juicy at the same time! I'd definitely go back! On my way home, I was with a friend. He dropped me at Teresa Street, Sta Mesa so I only needed to take a short jeepney drive.

[lloydnaga]

February 3, 2014

I overslept today. And I liked it. These past few days all I wished for was to have enough sleep and now I got it. Especially that I was so tired yesterday from walking and traveling back to Manila. This was my prize. It was already noon when I woke up. I was alone and was starving. No one was home yet because they were all in the province. It was somehow good to have the house all by yourself. No one's talking and making loud noises. No one's there to contribute more to my stress. Everywhere I look, there was a mess. The room, the cabinets, the living room, kitchen and bathroom. I didn't dare go to the toilet. I wouldn't. I ordered my dinner at Jollibee. My usual spaghetti, chicken, and ice cream. I also realized how thirsty I am until I finished up two cups of Coke. It was a relieving moment. At night, my dad arrived. And that was my cue. I had to go to work. But  as I headed to go work, more realization hit me. I saw this extra cute couple at the train station. I kind of wished I also had someone with me wherever I go. That we can be in our own world even though there was a crowd. Then when I was in the jeepney, there was this person whom I didn't like at first but when we shared eye contact twice, I was strucked by the cuteness of the scene. Ah. Cruel life. What you want is not always what you get. Only then did I felt conscious by what I wore, how I look, my hair, my face, my built, my smell, my actions, my all. How I wish I was able to stick with my diet. No rice again? Let's see...

[lloydnaga]

February 2, 2014

After I arrived yesterday here at Aliaga, mom insisted that I ate first before going to bed. I was so tired and sleepy by the three-hour bus ride. And even though there were a lot of people outside, making noise, I was still able to fall asleep. In fact, I was thankful to these people because of they came to the wake. It  can only mean one thing. My grandfather was loved by many. I slept in the room, the one only place where there was privacy. It was a nice sleep although it was cut-short because of my wicked sister. She did it again. What an annoying brat. So that morning, I stayed beside my grandmother and talked to her even though I'm half asleep. Then I realized how much I missed her. She told me stories that happened before, probably thinking that I already forgot them. In exchange, I told her everything that's happening in my life. She seemed happy. That morning also, we had a mass with the priest. The last step before going to the cemetery. It was a very sad event. Everyone was crying and I couldn't bare to see it. I stayed at the back, in silent prayers. He is with God now. He will never leave us. It was just the physical body of him that left. His presence, on the other hand, will stay with our mind and heart. The number people present in this day was incredible. I couldn't start to explain how much thankful I am for their presence. Especially to everyone who was there from the first night, and who was with us in his final day. Although it was a really long walk to the cemetery, and the sun was giving intense heat, they  stayed with us. There was even an incident that happened in the cemetery. Everyone sobbed and I couldn't stand the scene. When we were already home, we took advantage of the time to bond and share stories. We also ate a lot. The tears were turned to laughters. It was like being a kid again. I decided to go back to Manila at night because I knew I couldn't sleep. So I bid goodbye to everyone and started off towards the road. I waited for a bus for about half an hour. It tested my patience. I almost decided to go back. Then when I arrived at Cubao. I chose to ride in a jeepney. But there was a creepy old guy, who was seated just beside me, who smiled and stared at me like crazy. It was annoying and disgusting at the same time. Before finally going home, I bought myself a tuna casserole and spaghetti for snack. I fell asleep really quick.