life's the walking in between

New Orleans native, currently loving living in the Valley of the Sun.

[lmfbagala]

Does anyone even follow me still?

I’ve had this tumblr for a few years (and had a semi successful fitblr like 8 years ago) and have mostly been creeping on fitblrs that I used to follow. I’ve really been trying to figure out how to love and accept myself as I am. But somewhere along the way I think I started using that as an excuse to completely stop trying to take care of myself. Instead of viewing being healthy as something GOOD that I should want to do because I deserve it, I’ve viewed it as a punishment. 

Why do I HAVE to do this? Why can’t I just eat what I want and not do physical activity if I don’t want to? Why isn’t it okay to just be how I am?

I’ve been having a lot of anxiety about my size and overall health lately. I started planning a mini trip to Disney World and felt overwhelmed with anxiety over not being able to ride a single ride because I’m too big. 

We’re going to Iceland in 5ish months and I panic thinking about it. It’s a once in a lifetime trip. I want to be able to do whatever I want. Whatever activities I want while I’m there. I want to be in a good headspace so that I don’t squander this amazing trip by being anxious and incapable of doing all of the beautiful hikes/activities that country has.

I’ve been loosely trying to lose 50 pounds since January and have gained 10. I’ve been trying myfitnesspal for a few days and then go off the rails. Literally 1 minute ago, I was inhaling candy, and had to throw it in the garbage and cover it with trash halfway through this blog because I felt sick thinking about eating it. 

How do you love yourself while trying to make yourself better? Is making yourself better a direct result of loving yourself and wanting the best for yourself? If you’re not happy with your health/appearance, can you still love yourself at the same time?

I know I can’t keep living like this. I know I don’t deserve it. I deserve everything I want, and I deserve the strength & dedication it takes to consistently stick to making better decisions for my mental and physical health. 

[lmfbagala]

I know this might be a minority opinion out in the valley, but I am loving Monsoon season. After living in a place that never got thunderstorms for a year. my southern Louisiana heart is over the moon at hearing thunder and seeing lightning again.

We also decided to go for a bike ride on the trail by our house this afternoon. Not the brightest idea because while it was under 100, it’s still the desert, but you live and learn. And I also got a big smoothie after, so worth it? Probably.

Please enjoy these pictures my fiance ( ;) ) took while I took shelter in the only shade we could find. And please also notice my cherry tomato red face.

Lols.

[lmfbagala]

Oh hi there. I've been in Phoenix going on two weeks now and we're finally getting settled. For a while we didn't have Internet, so we were the most productive humans ever but I kid you not, the second the internet was returned, all packing came to a screeching halt. We're down to our last 10 or so boxes and man is it a struggle. The first week, we joined a gym here and we've been swimming laps and today I had a mod day elliptical jam. So you could be seeing the sweaty selfie return...beware. This past weekend we went to Phoenix Flea After Dark, which is basically a local art market where people set up booths and man, I wanted to buy EVERYTHING cacti. I had to reign myself in. I did get a few prints and am officially OBSESSED with a Phoenix artist, Paige Poppe. AND she has a YouTube, so I've been binging it. And I may have bought some water colors because her vibrancy has inspired me. I'm going to try to post more, because im tired of just stalking everyone on Tumblr and I'm ready to start slowly becoming more active here and IRL again, so wahey! Er...the end.

[lmfbagala]

Lassen Volcanic National Park, California

July 15- July 17, 2016

G and I met in July of 2011 in New Orleans. After 1 1/2 years of dating we uprooted our lives and moved to Chicago, and then San Francisco, and next week we are moving to Phoenix (surprise!!). This past weekend, just 2 weeks shy of 5 years since we met, he proposed to me at the end of our hike to Kings Creek Falls on Saturday, July 16th. It was beautiful and after screaming NO NO NOOOO in shock, I said duh. We celebrated with soft serve at our campsite and then again with champagne and cheese when we got back to SF.

It was perfect and I’m so excited for what’s to come for us.

Seriously best weekend ever. And naturally, Lassen is my #1 favorite national park forever now.

[lmfbagala]

True Life: Why am I such a baby?

Getting my pack ready for 3 days in Lassen NP has me like:

And then I see people talking about how often they come across bears while hiking and it turns into:

[lmfbagala]

Big Bend National Park

Tuesday June 14, 2016 & Wednesday June 15, 2016

We used a wedding we had to go to in El Paso, Texas last month as a means of knocking this pretty remote national park off of our list. 

We spent 2 days and 2 nights at the Chisos Mountain Lodge where we had some pretty spectacular views of the sunsets and the full moon shining over the mountains. 

Tuesday was spent concurring my extreme fear of open water by trudging through the Rio Grande to get to the trailhead of Santa Elena Canyon. We didn’t manage to walk the entire trail because the heat here in June is U-N-R-E-A-L. It was 120 degrees easy and when you add no hats (we are stupid) into that equation we didn’t last long before having to turn back for fear of heat exhaustion.

Wednesday we did the Lost Mine trail in the Chisos Mountains and then headed east in the park to the port of entry to Boquillas, Mexico. 

When visiting this national park, if you have a passport, for $5/person roundtrip you can take a row boat across the Rio Grande river and cross into Mexico then either mule it or walk a mile to a tiny Mexican city.  We went over and had some mexican food for lunch, walked around with our guide, then headed back.

From the moment you see the river, and hear someone singing songs to you from across it (who was not shy about asking for tips for his singing once you cross the border FYI), to having to use a guide, to having to tell a 5 year old kid every 10 steps that no, you really didn’t have any money to buy a trinket from him...this entire experience was interesting but very, very weird.

The park as a whole was beautiful and made me like the desert just that much more, despite the sweltering heat.

[lmfbagala]

Redwood National and State Parks

Saturday, June 4, 2016 & Sunday June 5, 2016

We spent the first weekend in June surrounded by the redwoods in Redwoods NP & SP. 

It was a hectic, hurried attempt to see a park I’ve been dreaming of seeing since we moved, before we move again (MORE ON THAT LATER. /shrug). 

Since this beast of a forest is almost 6 hours away, and the boy couldn’t get a day off, we fell out of our beds at dark o’clock on Saturday and headed north to our campsite in Prairie Creek Redwood State Park.

Due to having to drive 6 hours Saturday and then 6 more Sunday to get back home, it was mostly a relaxing trip instead of a hiking trip. We made smores, played cards, used our brand new (roomier!!) tent, wandered around some of the most beautiful trees, and just enjoyed each others company.

Sunday morning we did the tiniest of hikes to see Fern Canyon, which had all of the Jurassic Park/Star Wars vibes.

On the way home we stopped for a root beer float from A&W so it was basically the best weekend in while.

[lmfbagala]

Saguaro National Park, Arizona

Sunday February 28, 2016

The last national park we visited on our trip to Arizona was Saguaro National Park, just outside of Tucson, Arizona. We were on a mission to see all of the huge cacti and man did that park deliver.

These things were MASSIVE and I loved them. I was definitely obsessed with the desert the minute I saw it, which was surprising since I’m a hater of the heat. 

We only had time to visit the west half of the park, which doesn’t have that many hikes, so we mostly drove around and hopped out at whatever small trail heads we found.

I read about this park having the Arficanized ‘killer bees’ so any second I heard a buzzing noise I took off like my life depended on it. It was hilarious looking I’m sure, but I don’t play when it comes to animals that sting, especially when they are called “killer”.

After spending half the day at the park, we made our way back to the Phoenix area where we relaxed at the hotel for an hour and then headed to Goldwater brewery where I proceeded to guzzle down some Desert Rose beer. UM...YUM. ( I also may have proceeded to debate with myself on the logistics of flying a growler of that stuff home with me...) Then I was on a mission to find some some cactus candy to bring home for...myself. 

I realize cactus candy is probably a tourist trap but dang that stuff was yumma, so I didn’t care what I looked like buying $25 of it at the grocery.

We ended the trip with some seriously delicious BBQ and that’s all she wrote.

Arizona was seriously so, so amazing. I don’t know why I always wrote that state off as being a place I wouldn’t be sad about never seeing, but man I am obsessed with it now. I already can’t wait for another trip there.

[lmfbagala]

Petrified Forest National Park, Arizona

Saturday, February 27, 2016

Park 2 out of 3 for our Arizona trip was the Petrified Forest National Park. It was about an hour and a half drive from Flagstaff through no man’s land. 

This park has two entrances, a North and a South entrance. We started with the north entrance and drove through the park before exiting through the South Entrance.

The Painted Desert is what you will see first if you go to the north side at the start, and oh man...it was amazing. They have a lot of back country area in the Painted Desert and we definitely were itching to go back and spend a few days hiking and camping in the red sand. It turned out to be one of our favorite parks to date, which was really unexpected.

As you work your way through the park from the north, the landscape changes from that red color, to more gray and blues. Another highlight was the Blue Mesa, those different blue hue colored geological structures. There weren’t as many hikes you could take to explore these, but they had a 1 mile paved loop that brought you down through a bunch of them.

This park gets it’s name from the Petrified wood that is found scattered throughout it (2nd to last picture). It was crazy looking. You obviously aren’t allowed to take any out of the park, but every shop outside of it was selling pieces from private lands for hundreds of dollars, it was insane and made me a bit sad.

After spending a good 6 hours exploring, we headed out to make an exhausting 3.5 hour drive down to the Phoenix area to go explore Saguaro National Park on Sunday, my last day in Arizona.

[lmfbagala]

Grand Canyon National Park, Arizona

Thursday February 25, 2016 and Friday February 26, 2016

Our first encounter with the Grand Canyon was Thursday, when we moseyed in right at sunset and proceeded to sit around in the freezing cold for 3+ hours in an attempt to get some pretty star pictures. I think the bottom left photo shows it was pretty dang worth it.

Friday was our first (and only) full day at the Canyon. I was seriously scared it was going to be overrated, but it really was one of the most magnificent views. We were in no shape to even attempt an overnight hike to the bottom, so our day activity consisted of pulling over at every overlook and walking along the edge until we were far enough away from everyone that we felt secluded. 

Sitting close to the edge and just peering down at the steep drop-off, and out into the vastness were my favorite parts of the day.

I just want to point out that that very first photograph is my proof that I dared get any semblance of close to the edge of those scary cliffs. Realistically, it wasn’t that close, but my heart would’ve told you otherwise.

Saturday will start off with a trip to the Petrified Forest National Park and then who knows.

*This was our first outdoor adventure with our new Nikon D750..it was pretty exciting*

[lmfbagala]

Man, San Francisco. You’ve been so freaking good to me these past few months.

Let me tell you a little something about that Where’s Waldo guy up there. His name is Bryce Avary and he makes music as a one man band called The Rocket Summer.

Back in high school I was full blown obsessed with his music. We’re talking posters on the wall, multiple t shirts owned, playing his music so much that my mom could sing along to the songs, O-B-S-E-S-S-E-D. I once even bought a pair of shoes that he was notorious for wearing...yeah, I went down that road.

I have been waiting to see him live since 2007. It only took 8 years and moving to the West Coast to have that dream realized, but man oh man was it worth it.

I waited around for AN ENTIRE HOUR (how embarrassing) after the show to meet him and get a picture. I kept true to my awkward nature but he was so kind and so eager to try to have an actual conversation with me and it was so endearing.

The show was full of energy, inspiration. love, and gratitude. 

It was everything I could have wanted and so much more. I left feeling gobsmacked with a lighter and happier soul, and I expected nothing less from a Rocket Summer show.

It was electric.

Now excuse me while I stealthily listen to his cds on youtube at work because I can never ever tire of them.

[lmfbagala]

We were lucky enough to spend Halloween weekend in Yosemite and it was such a lovely way to spend time together. We stayed in an unheated tent in Curry Village as the campgrounds were all full, and man oh man did I forget how cold 30 degrees could feel without heat!

Saturday:

Let it be noted that we took a 30 minute detour just so we could chow down on a chickfila chicken biscuit for breakfast. You can say we miss living down the street from one of them. Worth. It.

We drove up Tioga Road to Tuolumne Meadows. We stopped at random places and walked around and it was just lovely.

We checked into our tent, inhaled a pizza for linner, and then walked around the valley for a little bit.

We spent about 3 hours stargazing in the immense darkness of Yosemite Valley and it was so amazing. One of us (Hint: it was me) was super anxious about how dark it was and every sound heard was a bear running to come maul us. The boy’s patience with me getting angry and anxious was unwavering and he is such a good sport.

Sunday (after a restless sleep in which we froze our noses off #poorplanners)

We did a super short hike to Mirror “Lake” which in California drought land has been washed up for some time. The view of Half Dome though was A+++. We even saw a little deer walking around looking adorable.

Added to our growing collection of National Park patches via the Visitors Center and then we set out to explore the Valley.

We stopped at El Capitan and roamed around for a bit before heading up to Glacier Point.

It was a weekend full of beautiful sights and love. And it was the best.

We’re hoping to go back in the winter to see Yosemite Valley (hopefully) looking like Narnia.

I’m so ready.

[lmfbagala]

That moment though when one of your absolute favorite authors gives you some healing words and you break down in tears and instantly feel like a weight has been lifted off.

Fangirling forever.

[lmfbagala]

Saturdays are for:

one yoga video turning into two yoga videos

then talking yourself into and out of spending $77 on Yoga with Adriene’s new RISE yoga program. (This is still happening every 20 minutes)

outside Caturday hangs

all of the word vomiting into my journal

spoopy book readings

snacks. snacks. and more snacks.

Adele’s new song on repeat for longer than you should probably admit

researching life things

adding then deleting then re-adding books into your Amazon cart

prepping ingredients for gumbo making. hometown food is good for your soul.

Hope everyone had a lovely Saturday! :)

[lmfbagala]

About last night.

First of all, these are the only pictures I have from the entire night. I had a really good seat during the interview and performance, but there were crazy scary security guards on the prowl for people trying to sneak pictures. It sucked but it did make me pay more attention to being in the moment instead of looking at it from behind my phone camera lens, so it was good.

I wish I could write a post that was as eloquent and thought provoking as 85% of the things that Sara talked about last night, but I’m just not that kind of writer (yet...?). The other 15% is for her awkward/sassy/hilarious stage antics...in case you were wondering. 

She talked a lot about body image. And about how you deserve to love yourself. And that you are enough. You may make mistakes and things may not go the way you want them to but it’s okay and you’re okay and you are enough.

It was just beautiful. And she has a beautiful mind and soul. 

I came away from it feeling empowered and that I had just spent an hour with my big sister. And I basically love her person about 500% more after last night. So yeah.

And did I mention I got to meet her and get my book signed? 

Because BOOM. 

[lmfbagala]

Here’s the thing.

San Francisco has been a really good move from Chicago, but it’s just not New Orleans. 

I have days where I think I can live away from New Orleans and then I look at pictures from past visits and my heart aches for that city.

Part of me is worried I’ll move home one day and will realize that my homesick heart has romanticized the place for me. That distance made me love it more because I was missing it. That after ten years of being home I’ll be ready to pack up and leave again.

But then I think about the future. And being married and having kids and I can’t help but want them to be little New Orleanians through and through. To have them be around my family and G’s family and grow up in the same environment I did. Going to parades. Eating gumbo. Getting snowballs after school. Having that swamp water in their blood.

I know that every person is prideful to a fault when it comes to their hometown, but I can’t help but think that the nola pride runs deeper. Something in that city is hooked inside of my body and no matter how far I go, I can always feel it tugging me back. Telling me that I’ve gone far enough and it’s time to come home.

I’m grateful to get to experience new places and it boggles my mind that I can now say I’ve lived in Chicago and San Francisco. 

But at the same time, I miss those nola sunsets. I miss daiquiris. I miss Mardi Gras. King Cake. The sound of the marching bands drum line as they go down the route. That coffee & chicory. The giant oak trees with their spanish moss hanging down the branches. I miss crawfish. Snowballs on a hot day. Po boys and that Mississippi River.

And goodness gracious do I miss my momma.

[lmfbagala]

“You said: “remember that life is not meant to be wasted, we can always be chasing the sun. So fill up your lungs and just run, but always be chasing the sun.

All we can do is try and live like we’re still alive.”

--Chasing the Sun by Sara Bareilles

This song has carried me through the grief I’ve been dealing with about my dad. Every time it starts playing I start crying without fail. She perfectly captures the after of someone you love dying. Being at the cemetery and realizing that the world you are in is now that person you love’s ceiling. It’s heartbreaking and it’s healing.

I’ve been a fan of Sara Bareilles for some time now, but that song I heard two years ago just sealed the deal that she was my spirit animal.

A few months ago I found out that she was going to be coming to San Francisco on a stop for her book tour, to talk about the book she just released as well as perform a few songs. I tried to get tickets ten minutes after they went on sale to the general public, but they were already sold out.

Color me dramatic, but I’ve been heartbroken about it since. And then last week after inhaling her book in one sitting, I got desperate.

I went full on fangirl in an email I sent to the event’s website pretty much begging them to let me sit on the floor, promising I wouldn’t make a peep. At the request of the lovely girl who answered my email, I called the box office yesterday (3 days before the show) and lo and behold they had ONE ticket that got returned that was available for purchase.

I got the ticket emailed to me not long after and realized a few bonus things:

my seat is in the SECOND ROW. THE SECOND ROW.

not only is she speaking and singing, she’s signing books after so I’ll probably get to meet her

the venue has a wine bar

So I’ll be adding this to my list of things I’m adventurously doing on my own, but the nerves are losing a battle with my excitement