[byjove]

Resteraunt servers have the funniest and most surreal workplace stories of any profession. They have the job that mean nurses think they have. The entire world is working against them the entire shift. And then you feel terrible for laughing. It’s not funny that you tripped and spilled an entire ice tea all over a toddler and the kid started screaming at the top of his lungs. Nobody was having a good day, thank God it wasn’t a hot coffee. That’s not funny. I did laugh so hard tears started rolling down my face when you recounted this mortifying ordeal though.

[byjove]

whatever you’re going through, you’re not them

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Metahuman with super healing powers whose entire job is that once a week they go to a nearby hospital and are put into a medically induced coma for 24 hours while all their organs and blood are harvested, and kept there until they've healed up again.

They get paid a small stipend by the Heroes Council for this, and they live off that.

No crime fighting, no obvious heroics, and they only took a Super Identity because it's technically hero's council policy. Nobody's ever seen them in a cape.

Every so often the Heroes council will release an official report to the public, and there'll be another bunch of news articles wondering how some unknown super calling themselves 'Meat Factory' somehow consistently holds the record for most lives saved across the city.

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

It is essential to my vision that they are not at all sanctimonious about this.

Like, they regularly act like they're getting away with something. They joke about how they get to earn money in their sleep. They show up to their hospital visits in deliberately ridiculous disguises, on the excuse that they need to 'protect their identity'.

Part of their employment contract is that they get served the same post-operation vanilla ice cream that they normally hand out on the childrens' ward. Also a sticker. Their overnight bag is covered in stickers.

[shinyhappygoth]

Okay, Meat Factory is awesome and hilarious, but if they're being harvested for and regenerating absolutely everything, may I suggest an alternative super name: Theseus.

[loth-caatgirl]

That's the name the hospital has on record for Meat Factory, because hospital administration refused to go forward putting that on their paperwork

[thememedaddy]

[fishingcatz]

My beetles keep stacking on each other and NO they aren’t fucking

[sandsvendor100]

True Comraderie Between Men Who Are Normal

The Bond Between Two Strong Men... Unbeetlable

[tendie-defender]

[byjove]

Tumblr is truly a prison. I’ll be like “I hate the way this website works. Broken filtering, broken search option, shitty moderating, glitches.” and then I’ll try to use any other social media platform and find it is somehow worse.

[sacred-portal]

[depsidase]

[thebibliosphere]

The kid next door (talking toddler age) is playing outside and just wiped out in his Fisher Price car, and I just heard the babysitter say, “oh no, your insurance premium is definitely going to go up!” And the kid who had only been mildly sniffling before made the most confused, but startled sound you’ve ever heard.

Just very clearly an attempt at saying, “my what?”

He straight up forgot about his scraped knee and is now worried about whatever the fuck an insurance premium is.

[depsidase]

[medievaljournalist]

forgot to leave a note for my doordasher to bring a blunt weapon to get past the catacomb skeletons so congrats to whichever necromancer is about to get my banh mi i guess

[loaf--of--toast]

Delivery marked dangerous and delivery left at the edge of the catacombs. Picture of food shows armed skeletons approaching the driver (and banh mi).

[animentality]

[clockybrunette]

tranny bathroom

[byjove]

TERFs keep arriving on that post to be like “actually! we don’t believe in bioessentialism!” yes you do. You believe sex and gender are synonymous and there is one sex that is the oppressor and one sex that is the oppressed. You believe this is intrinsic. No nuance, no understanding, no space for non-Eurocentric concepts of gender, no space for the concept of variance in gender identity. You acknowledge that gender is a performance and that what one considers to be an expression of their gender is informed by the society they live in but you refuse to acknowledge that gender can be at odds with a person’s sex and the societal expectations placed on them by that. You bitch and moan about the tiny little box women are kept in and then you do advanced phrenology to try to prove a woman is a ‘actually a man’ and punish her if she does not look, sound or behave the way you expect women to behave. You insist trans women have ‘male privilege’ while you visit the exact same misogyny on them that cis women experience, same tools, same shame-based punishment. Shut the fuck up. Go back under whatever rock you dwell under.

[pingo1387]

having a headache while hydrated is so unfair. you were supposed to protect me.

[nyancrimew]

I am addicted to hardcore pornography

okay

[loaf--of--toast]

yay!

[farmgf]

what the FUCK is going on right now. what is going on

[farmgf]

this post is so funny because it has over 10k notes and no context but all you have to do is look at the time stamp to know exactly what the context is

[shinraalpha]

i do think lobbying for data centres over climate goals should be considered a crime against humanity btw