Mike Driver
cherry valley forever
AnasAbdin
Today's Document
Cosimo Galluzzi
todays bird
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Origami Around
trying on a metaphor
styofa doing anything
sheepfilms
I'd rather be in outer space đž
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RMH
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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dirt enthusiast
shark vs the universe
⣠Chile in a Photography âŁ
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@lokimortal
Commissions Open!
Check out my Carrd!
For Coalmyne on Bluesky!
More people should get into poly shipping. Both because polyamory is awesome and because it's really fun to make complicated ass diagrams
Shout everyone else taking the vow of silence today
how it feels when one of your hyperfixations comes back and stronger than ever
how it feels when one of your hyperfixations comes back and stronger than ever
fried egg alert
My hottest fanfiction take is I think people should stop posting multi-fandom oneshots as a single fic with like 50+ chapters and instead post them as individual fics
the secret cheat code for women is realizing you dont have to date men
this doesnt just go for lesbians it goes for bi women and straight women too. i cant even count how many times straight women have told me âi wish i was a lesbian so i didnt have to date menâ but guess what ⊠u Dont have to date menÂ
to be clear this also isnt necessarily saying âgo date women instead!!â its just sayingâŠ. u dont have to date men. u dont have to be dating women in order to not date men! in fact if ur not attracted to women at all please dont date women just as a substitute for men. but if dating men isnt making u happy⊠u dont have to do that. u dont have to make a space in ur life for men
im singlehandedly destroying every mans mental health by telling women its ok to not date them
wish ppl understood the power nowadays in not giving something attention. things today are so focused on attention and reaction and #memes that the best way to shut literally anything down is simply not give it exactly what it wants. like you arent going to own that bigot on twitter youre going to boost their original message whether thats your intent or not and you arent just playing with ai for shits and giggles you are giving it free learning and data. just stop engaging with things that dont deserve it
Not that anybody asked, but I think it's important to understand how shame and guilt actually work before you try to use it for good.
It's a necessary emotion. There are reasons we have it. It makes everything so. much. worse. when you use it wrong.
Shame and guilt are DE-motivators. They are meant to stop behavior, not promote it. You cannot, ever, in any meaningful way, guilt someone into doing good. You can only shame them into not doing bad.
Let's say you're a parent and your kid is having issues.
Swearing in class? Shame could work. You want them to stop it. Keep it in proportion*, and it might help. *(KEEP IT IN PROPORTION!!!)
Not doing their homework? NO! STOP! NO NOT DO THAT! EVER! EVER! EVER! You want them to start to do their homework. Shaming them will have to opposite effect! You have demotivated them! They will double down on NOT doing it. Not because they are being oppositional, but because that's what shame does!
You can't guilt people into building better habits, being more successful, or getting more involved. That requires encouragement. You need to motivate for that stuff!
If you want it in a simple phrase:
You can shame someone out of being a bad person, but you can't shame them into being a good person.
Fun fact, that was literally what inspired me to make this post!
a lot of artists dont know how to draw bullets and to be real it bothers me a lot. here's my simple guide on bullets
Special shoutout to the DavidPro Phantom Blood opening where the bullets are fully brass, flush with the casing, no rim, perfectly undisturbed primer, and fired whole out of some webleys.
raising you this
12ga Recursionshot
You chumps don't know about 65% more bullet per bullet spring system
this isnât what i normally post here but firefox just switched ceos and this âanthonyâ dumbass is trying to put more âaiâ slopware into it, meaning more bloat and privacy loss
if you use this browser you should go to their support forums and complain about it
Autistic Advice #9
In a piece for The New Inquiry from back in 2017, George Dust states that when queer people complain about there being a top shortage, what they really mean is ânobody is fucking me the way I want, and I have no agency in that.â Alongside co-authors Billy-Ray Belcourt and Kay Gabriel, Dust suggests that many queer people align themselves with a passive or âbottomâ position because they believe that role will absolve them of the guilt of really wanting things. They present themselves as what they believe to be the sexual party with zero power; the receiver, the accepter of action rather than its cause.
This position is drawn in contrast to the bottom-identified personâs idea of a top: the one who approaches, the person with hungers and desires, the person who decides which sexual activities will happen and how intense they will get. The top, from this perspective, is the stronger, more capable, more dangerous person. Theyâre the only one who can ever be guilty of intruding or harming somebody else. This power is scary, but itâs also compelling.
Dust calls this fantastical version of a top a âbruteâ â and they are the most cartoonish stereotype of what it means in society to be a man. Because itâs a cartoonish stereotype, no human actually lives up to it â and weâd probably revile a person even if they could.
Though queer people know we are harmed by the gender binary and heteronormativity and all the social scripts those things force upon us, its biases are still embossed on our brains. Without meaning to, we reproduce tired gender stereotypes in our relationships. And so we see expressing a sexual want as masculine, and being masculine as being more capable of violence and coercive control, and thus bad. We see failing to communicate oneâs desires openly as desirably feminine, as well as a sign of blamelessness and purity â because on some level we still feel it is wrong to have desires.
But this entire worldview is a complete lie. Desire is not evil. Expressing attraction is not a violation. Failing to express oneself can be just as dangerous as not listening to someone elseâs limits. Women can be abusive. Bottoms can sexually assault. No matter our gender, presentation, or sexual role, we are each capable of harm. And the only way to make a safe, mutually pleasurable sexual encounter happen is by going after it, actively, and communicating from a position of inner strength.
So how do you do that, if societyâs been telling you all your life that youâre meant to date by acting like a deer passively snapping twigs in the woods, waiting for some hunter to hear you, and pursue you? (That really is dating advice that Evangelical Christian counselors give to women, if you can believe it).
By not fixating so much on what youâre doing or not doing to draw other people toward you, and instead thinking in terms of what you want and what you observe beyond yourself.
thanks for these additions !
i'm going to say something insane. i think the overall pronounced fandom cultural slide away from complex plotty violent work and towards kidfic and coffee shops AUs and cozy domestic romcoms is a symptom of fascism.
okay actually this is a great phrase for it
Reblogging this for the term "neopastoralism", because I think that's fantastic.
Coffee shop AUs are, like... fine. They're not my thing, but they're hardly going to end the world. We don't need to have a moral panic about people enjoying coffee shop AUs. I'm also not about to come for anyone seeking escapism in the current hellscape.
However, I do think it's interesting to examine the tendency within these AUs to project a sort of idyll onto the coffee shop: here is a whimsical place where you can spend time with your friends and potentially meet your true love; here is a world where the greatest dilemma you may face is choosing the right coffee syrup for a new beverage or sneaking your number onto that to-go cup without being obvious.
The fantasy of the coffee shop AU is divorced almost entirely from the reality of an actual coffee shop. There are no abusive, creepy customers or bosses; there is no mention of the barista's wages; we don't see the dishwasher sweating at their station, the cashiers' aching feet; the person whose job it is to clean the (customer-only?) toilets. These topics are Political and Depressing and Must Be Avoided, because Political and Depressing things are antithetical to this kind of escapism.
The coffee shop AU exists, not in a world without capitalism (because this is a setting where commerce is actively happening) but in a world where capitalism has no teeth: a world where capitalism somehow works. In order to be convinced and soothed by this fantasy, you must suspend your disbelief and avert your eyes. You must filter the coffee shop through a neopastoralist lens.
To me, there's something very uncanny about it.
I've made this observation before, but there's a distinct and strong correlation between "wanting simplistic, saccharine, and morally binary media" and "authoritarianism". It's not a 1 to 1, which is where a lot of people seem to misunderstand things; it's not "If you like fluff, you're a jackbooted authoritarian." Very much not. This is a pattern that grows up out of thousands--hundreds of thousands--of individual interactions, out of culture, out of a shift of perspectives on what is seen as the norm and what is seen as outrageous.
Individual people liking cutesy fluff? Not a problem. Thousands of people insisting that fluff is the only acceptable option and if you dare make them think and consider, you're the problem?
That's a Problem.
It's the shifting of norms in culture, and fandom is not an isolated bubble--it's a representative of larger trends. And the trend right now in our larger culture, especially in America, is authoritarianism. Authoritarianism that has gone past "creeping" and is now "prancing", "dancing", "galloping", or dare I say goosestepping. Of course that's going to have an impact on the cultural scenes, including fandom!
And there's a correlation in societies that want saccharine fluff and their own authoritarianism. I can point to numerous examples--Victorian England with the censored stories for children. The USSR with an entire kitschy style of stories and art. The USA before the rise of Trump with Thomas Kinkaid's art. And that's just scratching the surface.
The main point in bringing this up is to be aware of the trend, not to take it as a personal attack for enjoying fluffy stories.
And I think the way to keep this from pendulum-swinging into âfluffy stories badâ (because we know this does happen with any observation of problematic trendsâsee: feminist critiques of objectification turning into puritanical sex-negativity, critiques of appropriation turning into enforcing cultural âpurityâ, etc) is to shift the focus from the presence of this kind of fiction to the proportional absence of the alternative.
Obviously, the presence is easier to spotâyou can actually see something that is present, but you canât directly see something thatâs absentâso it makes sense that this is the first piece of evidence in building this critique, but the critical thing that makes this an issue is the absence of engagement with challenging works, not actually the engagement with unchallenging ones.
Positive emotions and things that make us feel safe and cared for are as important a part of the human experience as for the negative. And safety-seeking can be as much a response to the rise of fascism to get away from it as an indication of people falling into it. We just canât only have the safe, unchallenging stuff. Because it is that censorship and cutting out of fundamental parts of human experience that feeds into the social conservatism & puritanism of authoritarianism.
y'all need to relearn the word erratic and stop using schizophrenic/bipolar/psychotic as a replacement
y'all need to relearn the word particular and stop using ocd as a replacement
People need to relearn the word "egocentric" and stop using narcissist/narc as a replacement.
People need to relearn the word "impulse" and stop using "intrusive thought" as a replacement
People need to relearn the word "manipulative" and stop using sociopath/psychopath/psycho as a replacement
people need to relearn the word "lying" and stop using "gaslighting" as a replacement
People need to relearn the word "uncomfortable" and stop using "triggered" as a replacement
how it feels to watch a ship you like become too popular and get mischaracterized and warped to hell and back by the popular fandom consensus until people who arent personally invested in the ship automatically assume youre stupid and shallow if you like it
adding onto this but. why do a lot of the people who dont like the (innocent) ships/characters/whatever you like try to come up with reasons as to why youre Morally evil for liking said things. Whats with assuming the most bad faith things about random people you dont know. Why are we doing this over fictional characters when its so easy to just block people you dont like and move on
