The Day of All Time

[INTJ] An ace fueled by copium

[bastionkeeper]

[lonelyhomosapien]

honestly, life is one big joke and I'm tired. I can't do this anymore. Goodbye and feel free to say good riddance

[theonion]

After running a thousand errands, working hours of overtime, and being stuck in seemingly endless gridlock traffic commuting to and from their jobs, millions of Americans were disheartened to learn that it was, in fact, only Tuesday.

“Tuesday?” San Diego resident Doris Wagner said. “How in the hell is it still Tuesday?”

Tuesday’s arrival stunned a nation still recovering from the nightmarish slog that was Monday, leaving some to wonder if the week was ever going to end, and others to ask what was taking Saturday so goddamn long.

“Ugh,” said Wagner, echoing a national sense of frustration over it not even being Wednesday at the very least.

Full Story

[lonelyhomosapien]

I can't do this amymore. My bank account has been going negative the day after I geg my paycheck because I can't keep myself afloat anymore, and every time I look at an app I'm being bombarded for money by so many people that I have no means to help. I can't fucking do this anymore.

[l0stvegas]

I know people mean well when they say it but hearing the phrase “you know your body best” as someone with chronic illness is so funny, like man no I don’t I ain’t got no clue what that fucker’s planning and I’m scared to find out

[l0stvegas]

Them: Listen to your body!

My body, whispering in the night: Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah-nagl fhtagn

[l0stvegas]

I know people mean well when they say it but hearing the phrase “you know your body best” as someone with chronic illness is so funny, like man no I don’t I ain’t got no clue what that fucker’s planning and I’m scared to find out

[l0stvegas]

Them: Listen to your body!

My body, whispering in the night: Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah-nagl fhtagn

[herpsandbirds]

Mauve Stinger (Pelagia noctiluca), family Pelagiidae, found in temperate seas around the world

Venomous. (stings are painful, but not considered medically serious)

photograph by @jellyfish_science

[great-and-small]

Everyone in my family is saying this replica of a dying Coelophysis looks like my dog 😤

[milkmp3-deactivated20141010]

birthday cake

[heartpeacenquiet]

[deadgirly]

Pretty stamps✨🩷

[a-maiz-ing]

Absolutely captivated by this very specific type of image

[hxh]

[catserotonin]

[catchymemes]

[penandinkprincess]

i do think that the funniest i've ever been was entirely on accident one christmas when i was little. i'm a lifelong animal lover and left out carrots and water for the reindeer each year because they were doing the real work, and my poor parents tried to make a magical memory for me and left one carrot on the plate with a bite out of it as if the reindeer had left it.

unfortunately little me had the reasoning skills of a little sherlock and surmised based on my experience with horses that the teeth marks were WAY too small to have been from a reindeer and HAD to have been from a human.

which led to baby pen being PISSED at santa's greedy ass for getting at the carrots that were NOT for him.

the entire christmas morning was derailed because of my fury at santa claus. we didn't even open presents immediately because i had to write a letter IMMEDIATELY to let him know those carrots were NOT for him and it was NOT NICE to not share with the reindeer especially when EVERYONE was leaving cookies for him and-

needless to say, my parents did not EVER try to manufacture christmas magic again for fear of setting off a tiny reindeer union leader.

[scottbaiowulf-deactivated201805]

[silkypicrew-deactivated20260725]

[cinikuscirmi-deactivated2025043]

csuuuszkalnak

[facklewackle]

they sure do