A Total Portrait With No Omissions
Cassie Mckay x Victoria Javadi. NFSW MDNI
Title from Picture This by Blondie
Summary: Cassie doesn't love being photographed, unfortunately, she's Victoria's favourite subject. A collection of sweet and smutty moments Vic's captured and the way they make Cassie feel. Mentions of past addiction, Cassie has body image issues, oral sex (f reiceiving)
Author's Note: Been in my drafts ages so posting for Free Day of @pitt-yuri-week. Theyre such cuties this wrote itself. Also who wouldn't love soft morning Cassie or DIY dilfy Cassie
Something prickles in Cassie every time Victoria takes her photo. At first, she puts it down to generational difference. When she was Victoria's age nobody had a camera glued to their palm 24/7. Photos were organised affairs for special occasions or happened when somebody bothered to remember their camera. The need to photograph even the simplest things wasn't ingrained into Cassie the way it was to her younger girlfriend. Then she thinks about Victoria's life and how she was raised on a non-stop, relentlessly pressured schedule. It didn't allow much space to take things in and appreciate them, so why not capture everything to savour later. Cassie doesn't care that Victoria snaps a photo of brunch before she eats or makes TikTok videos in the spare room. Cassie only gets tense when the camera is focused on her. Unfortunately, she's Victoria's favourite subject.
~~
My cute little pumpkin 🎃🖤🎃🖤
Cassie is staring at a selfie Vic has sent. They'd taken it mid shift in the run up to Halloween. Someone had decorated the staff room with plastic pumpkins, paper ghosts and a cauldron of cheap candy. Cassie has one of said pumpkins balanced on her head, the photo catching her mid laugh. Victoria has a set of gummy strawberry flavoured fangs jammed in her mouth pretending to bite Cassie's neck.
Though the memory is fun, Cassie does not think she looks cute. Cassie sees a woman too old for the girl next to her. Cassie's mind overlooks how happy she is to fixate on the deepening lines by her eyes and the bags below. She zooms in, checking for the wrinkles she’s bombarded with ads promising to solve. She looks at how Victoria glows and sees herself sunken, her skin dulled and split ends long due a trim. She zooms in to her teeth and curses her teenage self for never wearing her retainer brace properly or learning to laugh more ladylike. She zooms back out and trains her eye on the wispy baby hairs escaping Victoria’s ponytail. Victoria looks cute.
Can bite me anytime xxx
~~
Cassie had spent the morning finally fixing the leaky kitchen tap. The sleeves of her flannel pushed up over her elbows and her hair thrown up out of her way. Victoria had sat at the breakfast bar watching Cassie tinkering, legs swinging in knee high fluffy socks Cassie had bought her. She's half watching a video on her phone and sipping a coffee, but her eyes keep wandering back to Cassie. She looks fit and for the first time ever Victoria understands why so many pornos start with handymen and plumbers. Watching her do simple manual tasks is oddly arousing, the way her hands are agilely working. Cassie is deep in concentration, approaching any job like operating. Her lip rolls between her teeth as she bites it in concentration. Victoria can't help but sneakily capture the moment with a photo.
Later, when she's showing Cassie pictures from her night out with Trinity, she swipes too far and flashes Cassie a glimpse of the incriminating photo. She sees how her girlfriend freezes and instantly feels guilty.
"I’m sorry. I can delete it... it’s just you looked um kinda hot."
Cassie doesn't know what Victoria could see in her scruffy appearance and goofy concentration face that's hot. Yet the idea that she'd wanted to commit the scene to a photograph intrigues her. What did she need to save it for? It’s amusing to think of Victoria sitting pretty and getting hot and bothered. Even more enjoyable is the idea of Victoria pathetically trying to get herself off to pictures of Cassie doing handywork.
"Keep it....But you don't need a picture when I'm right here."
Victoria launches herself onto Cassie with such force and neediness Cassie gets a sense of just how hot Victoria thinks she looks doing DIY.
~~
They'd spent the afternoon in the park with Harrison, making the most of the last days of autumn and a shared day off. Harrison's reaching the age where Cassie's grateful any time he agrees to be in public with his mother. Victoria had left them to mom-son time playing in the crisp leaves. She planted herself on a bench, sipping pumpkin spice latte and watching Cassie revert to a kid, troubles carried off in the autumn breeze. Running after Harrison with her arms outstretched there’s not a hint of the exhausted doctor who dragged herself home last night. Victoria saddens briefly, her mom never played around like that. Cassie's hair matches the burnished browns and oranges of the leaves she throws up in the air. Harrison kicks a pile of leaves round her, which makes Cassie laugh as she grabs him into a hug. Victoria sees the love between them, how carefree they both look pushing each other into a fat leaf pile. She snaps a picture to show Cassie later.
Cassie's brain short circuits when she sees the photo. It overlooks Harrison's beaming smile and begins rhyming off a well-read list of her failures as a mother. It shows her pictures of Harrison's early years, stained by the presence of Chad and her patchy sobriety worn in her gaunt face and anxious smile. Reminders of all the let downs her little boy has suffered.
"It looked like you guys were having the best time." Victoria explains.
A different part of Cassie's brain takes over then. The fresh memories of the afternoon baking into her mind, warm and sweet like pumpkin pie. Harrison had laughed with her, letting her hug him and ruffle his hair. She doesn't know how many more times he will before that’s decidedly uncool. Her job saps so much from Cassie she worries she'll forget how to smile as well as cry. Some days she looks at Harrison and only sees the terrible things she knows can happen to kids and feels sick with worry. Today, she'd watched him scatter leaves over her head, and felt only a surge of the special kind of love she felt the first time she held him. He told her he'd had fun, that he likes hanging out with her and she feels endlessly grateful that he does despite all the bumps they've been through. He said he liked hanging out with Victoria. That meant a lot to Cassie. A lump catches in her throat looking at the photo and hoping one day there'll be family photos of the three of them. Maybe with a cute dog, like the one Harrison and Vic had met and gushed over earlier. Maybe a new addition with Victoria's big brown eyes. Cassie pecks a kiss on Victoria's nose.
"We really were!"
~~
There's a gaggle of staff round the notice board in the break room. Curious, Cassie squeezes in to see what the excitement is all about. She wishes she hadn't bothered. It’s a glossy group photograph from last week’s gala dinner. Cassie wishes she hadn't gone in the first place, but Dana insisted. Cassie barely recognises herself in the picture. The mask of makeup and floor length gown look so unnatural on her. Her posture is visibly stiff and awkward. It’s like looking at a bad wax work of herself. Cassie had hardly felt like herself that night. Every interaction was steeped in pressure to make a good impression with whatever big whigs were milling around. She'd tried to sheepishly trail behind Dana and let the older woman do all the charming and chatting. It done little to distract her from the way her dress itched and shoes pinched her feet. She should have worn a suit.
"Woah Javadi looks a million bucks!" Princess points out excitedly to Perlah who gives Cassie a knowing look.
Victoria had indeed looked gorgeous. Cassie would happily cut Victoria out the photo to keep in her wallet (and away from med students wandering eyes.) At Cassie's suggestion she'd left her natural curls flowing, framing her deep smoky eye makeup beautifully. The burgundy of her dress was offset by the glow of her skin, a slit running high up the skirt nearly made Cassie drool. When the others have cleared out Cassie inspects the photo more closely, deliberately avoiding her own image. She looks at the boldness of Victoria's outfit, such a contrast to how the younger woman had confessed to feeling that night, surrounded by people who knew her parents and remember her as a diaper clad toddler. Cassie had kept her distance all night, afraid of setting tongues wagging about the two of them. It meant fighting her instinct to swoop in whenever she spotted Victoria stuck in a conversation or grab her hand when Vic started to fidget nervously. All in all, it'd been a night to suffer through until the first opportunity to bail came along. Cassie and Victoria had dashed to the coatroom and fled before anyone could try tempting them to stay.
Running down the street, hand in hand, with her painful shoes in her hand Cassie had felt like a teenager ditching prom. They sped up when the drizzle of rain descended, diving into the first fast food joint they saw. Sliding into a booth, laughing wildly made Cassie feel more like herself than she had all night. Victoria shoved a handful of fries into her mouth.
"So much better than those canapes." She groaned as she chewed.
The rain had brought a wild frizz to her curls, and her lipstick had smudged round her mouth. Cassie watched her, slurping on a milkshake and stealing fries to dip in it, which Victoria always tells her is gross. Victoria had taken a selfie to send to Dennis, bragging that she'd escaped whilst he was being paraded round by Robby. They look a little rougher round the edges, Cassie's mascara smeared from rubbing her tired eyes, Victoria's lipstick replaced by residual traces of barbeque sauce. Cassie liked that much better than the photo before her now.
~~
Victoria took her favourite photo of Cassie almost by accident. They'd been waking up slowly, talking in sleep coated voices about small silly things that made them laugh. Vic had reached for her phone right as Cassie had sat up, stretching in the first sun of the day.
"Don’t move!" She'd snapped the photo and tossed her phone back on the bedside before Cassie could even register. Cassie's hair was stuck up in more than one place, live with static from her pillow, even more falling in her than usual. Her eyes still hooded with sleepiness as she tried to urge her body to life. With her head tipped back, the sun beams caught on the chain round her neck. She looked soft.
"What are you up to?" Her voice is softer too, tempered by the tiredness that hasn't faded yet. Victoria climbed over to settle over Cassie's lap and takes her head in her hands.
"You're cute in the morning." Cassie chuckles deep in her throat while Victoria kisses her forehead.
"So you just had to get a picture?"
"Sorry." Victoria's eyes cast downward but Cassie's quick to raise her chin. "If it makes you happy, I'm happy."
Cassie tries to remember that when she notices the photo is now Victoria's phone background. Cassie can't think of anything uglier than her half-awakened face and stomach peeking out from her sleep shirt as she stretches. Seeing it makes her suck her breath in, pretending her abdomen was still as flat as it once was. She tries not to pine for a body long gone. The one she has now is healthier, clean of the poision she once relied on. Its grown and carried her baby. It’s worked a lot of hospital shifts and lived 40 years but she can't help the disgust she has for it sometimes.
She'd been too shy and ashamed to take her shirt off in front of Victoria for months. Their first few times together Cassie insisted on taking her from behind not wanting the pretty girl laid before her to see too much. Vic was young, unblemished, Cassie already felt like she was sullying her without making her look at her unsightly state. She'd cringed when her tummy grazed Victoria's back. It changed the morning Victoria had asked, near begged to take Cassie's shirt off. Her voice was so gently needy Cassie didn't have the heart to say no. Victoria had moved slowly, reassuringly and marvelled at what she found. Cassie had a body that was strong yet soft, a sturdy home made to comfort. Her mouth had played with Cassie's nipples for what felt like hours, mesmerised by discovering what made Cassie breathe deeper and groan, Victoria had lost herself in the softness of Cassie’s breasts and their weight. Victoria adores rubbing her hands over Cassie's soft tummy and gripping at the thickness of her hips, they feel like something certain. She gets sinful joy whenever Cassie relents and lets her grind herself over the curve of Cassie's stomach. After she'll lick her own wetness up while Cassie praises her. Cassie's body has done much more living than Victoria's and she loves to admire it. She curls up some nights with her head on Cassie's belly, the perfect position for Cassie to lazily play with her silky hair until she falls asleep. Victoria's never felt safer.
Cassie thinks of the warmth of sharing her bed and Vic's body next to her as a distraction from how she looks in the photo. She must give Victoria credit for catching the morning light at just the right angle given how quickly she'd taken it. Cassie hopes Victoria likes the sight of her in the morning enough to spend many more together.
~~
Cassie isn't sure her favourite photo should exist. It'd been a risk taken in the heat of the moment, now stored in a complicated series of folders and digital security she didn't quite trust. Wasn't a problem back in Cassie's day. Photos like that you paid the weird guy in the college dark room to develop and kept in a shoebox at the back of the wardrobe.
It’s an obscene image, vulgar even but Cassie adores it. Taken from Victoria's point of view Cassie's face is barely visible between her girlfriend’s legs. She'd been there ages, coaxing the orgasms out of Vic and reducing her to whimpers. Cassie's face is hovering over Victoria's glistening slick skin, her tongue peeking forward to play amongst Vic's folds. From the camera's angle it’s possible to see the shiny evidence of Victoria's pleasure smeared on Cassie's chin. Her lips are swollen from obsessively kissing her girlfriend’s cunt. Her eyes are darkly clouded with the lusty intention to have Victoria cum again. And again. And again. She'd happily live like that, it’s evident in how ecstatic Cassie looks in the photo. Simply looking at it makes her ravenous to be that pussy drunk again. With want clouding her thoughts and that singular goal in mind there's no time to analyse her flaws.
~~
It'd been an impromptu after work trip near the beginning of December. The time of the false quiet before the Christmas chaos hits the ED. Victoria and Cassie had accidently left Trinity, Dennis and Samira behind waiting for hot chocolate. Victoria was bundled up in a furry pink scarf and matching earmuffs. Like a marshmallow as Trinity had put it. Cassie has their gloved hand's linked as they admire the lights, waiting for the others. Something about the time of year makes everything feel extra sappy. Cassie thinks of all the families she's met through the year who'll have an empty seat at the table and the patients who'll have no table at all. Maybe it’s not sappiness, its gratitude. She watches the lights shine in Victoria's doe eyes and feels her grip her hand. She wonders how this sugar sweet girl fell for someone like her. Public displays of affection aren't really Cassie's thing but the warm rush of loving and being loved in the coldest, darkest time of year makes her lean over and kiss Victoria's lips.
"Put her down, Doc!!!" Trinity's voice breaks the moment.
When they're home and tucked up in bed Vic nudges Cassie to show her a message from Trinity.
You two are so gross and in love❤️🤢
She'd caught the moment right before they kissed on camera. Somehow it looks like how Cassie feels when she's with Victoria – bright and sparkling even against the black sky. The twinkling lights surround them, wrapped up in their winter gear they’re oblivious to anything but the smile on one another's face. Cassie's nose is bright red from the chill, lightly nudging Victoria's.
"Send me it."
Cassie saves the photo and sets it as her lock screen, unbothered by anyone who sees it. Trinity's right she's so grossly in love.
