(Also known as headcanons of being in a romantic relationship with Kaeya Alberich that I promised weeks ago)
A/N: Proofread as much as possible, please forgive me if there are any grammatical errors, I've been working on this post for so long the words are melting into alphabet cereal
Kaeya doesn't have a fixed type. He's met people from all walks of life and has developed a more open mind than most, especially because of his expeditions. However, he prefers a romantic partner who can keep up with him intellectually.
By this I don't mean you need to have a high IQ or be a chess champion; I mean you have to entertain intelligent conversation. Conversations with him aren't just bland discussions on politics or what weather you're having today (although he will participate for your sake), his topics of choice are usually extremely abstract or philosophical in nature. Expect debates and what-ifs that can range from ridiculous to thought provoking. He's also fond of deep discussions on whatever book, drama or even a TCG card that catches his interest.
If you're the type who shoots down flights of fancy or are extremely unimaginative (I’m talking about someone who says “Oh, I can’t think of anything” when offered an extremely basic role-play scenario) , Kaeya will get bored. He's a man who appreciates a challenge and enjoys pondering in general, so if you keep trying to pull him down to Teyvat all the time you'll find the romance fizzling out quickly.
As a lover, you will also be Kaeya's sounding board. Kaeya's job has him brainstorming solutions almost constantly and sometimes he needs help organizing his thoughts. So he'll bounce a few of his ideas off of you if you have the time, even more often if you're receptive. You don't have to contribute to solving the problem, just saying his ideas out loud helps him make sense of the storm in his head. Sometimes he'll accidentally slip into cribbing about his work and annoyances or the incompetency of the latest recruits. He doesn't mean to, but it happens. At this point you'll be his closest confidant so you really can't blame him.
Speaking of work, the most you'll get of Kaeya (save for bumping into him while in the city) is on government holidays and the weekend. Unfortunately he's a busy man and is already out the door by sunrise (we have to remember he's military and they have crazy reporting hours) and returns almost close to midnight. If you're living in (which will come much, much later into the relationship) and are already in bed by then, he'll snuggle against you as quietly as he can. If he wakes you up he'll murmur an apology and give you a chaste kiss on the lips, or wherever he can manage, and promptly falls asleep.
This man deals with official business and gathering intel so he's pretty much dead when he gets back home. On days he can afford to leave the tavern early, he rushes straight back to you. He's still tired though, so he's more loose lipped and cuddly than he usually is.
If you're awake on a busy day, you'll get to see a rare dog-tired Kaeya. He still smiles at you and presses his lips softly against your own in greeting but his flair for dramaticism is visibly muted. He'll still sass you but he's surprisingly direct. If you're both in the mood for it, he won't mind sharing a glass of wine with quiet conversation. But after his ablutions he heads straight to bed. Pillow talk- and sex- is more of a weekend thing.
Due to his schedule, dates are often brunches. He'd prefer not to bring you to the tavern because technically he's still working then. He can't really concentrate on eavesdropping or interrogating with you right around the corner. Especially because Kaeya has to play the 'bad guy' on many occasions and he'd rather you not see that part of him, especially when he could rather entertain you and make you laugh over a Chicken Mushroom Skewer or Sticky Honey Roast at the Good Hunter. Besides, it gives him more one on one time with you.
I've already mentioned this in my other posts, but Kaeya doesn't trust easily. He tests the people around him whenever the mood strikes him and silently gauges their reactions to predict their next moves. This still applies to you as a lover.
He will test your loyalty. It's not that he doesn't trust you but he is incredibly insecure, a fact he tries to cover with his devil-may-care attitude. He'll watch from the upper floor of Angel's Share as you search for him below, twirling the stem of his glass. His lone eye will not waver from you as the man he pressured into approaching you does his task- an admittedly weak attempt to woo you after all you've seen of Kaeya.
How you respond is carefully catalogued in his head, every micro-expression stripped and sorted for analysis after. But don't fret, if he sees you're genuinely uncomfortable he will come for you, playing the knight in shining armor as he waves the man off. The other won't mind, the comfort of mora jingling in his pouch is much greater than the offense.
Is this a red flag? Yes. Does he want to manipulate you on purpose? No. The thing is, it is important to realise that Kaeya is not a soft man. He may be caring, thoughtful and enjoys taking care of you but this doesn't disregard his secrecy and 'the ends justify the means' mindset. So if you're expecting a soft lover boy, you will get him... along with the occasional sting (but let's admit it, every Kaeya simp has a thing for degradation).
As for taking care of you, on the occasion that you fall ill expect to be coddled by him. He'll take an off from captaining (yes, Jean knows it's an excuse for him to go home, but she doesn't have it in her to say no) and spend the day playing nurse with you instead. If you're stubborn he'll chastise you and drag you back to bed (but he will refrain from kissing you on the mouth, he has far too many responsibilities to fall sick). If you're content to be taken care of, and even order him around, he will tease you but assist most efficiently. If it's something serious he'll try to cheer you up and distract you as much as he can- though it's more of an effort to ignore his mounting anxiety.
He also doesn't mind reading to you if you'd like it. In fact he has plenty of experience with story-telling and will do his best to save you from boredom. If you want some quiet time instead he'll just read by himself beside you, checking up on you intermittently to give you your meds.
If he's the one who's sick he will deny it until he physically can't anymore. Then he's quite eager to be taken care of and though he will still tease you, you can tell he genuinely enjoys being taken care of by you. The guilt sets in when you've been taking care of him for a while, if the illness is extensive. He assures you he'll be fine without you spreading yourself thin for his sake, but if you insist he drops the matter quickly. Kaeya knows the burdens someone can carry for the sake of love. The last thing he'd want to do is make things harder for you by being stubborn.
Now, everyone knows this man is always looking out for fun. If you're with him, better be prepared for a lot of impromptu adventures- whether that be exploring Mond night life or a long walk to Windrise and back. Monotony is kicked out the door when Kaeya is around.
But of course, he is perceptive. If you can't always keep up with him he's capable of respecting that, though don't expect to be let off without a tease.
"My, my. Who know the great (Name) was such a slacker?"
"I see someone's already preparing for retirement. Will you have me helping you cross the street next?
Haha, alright, I won't pressure you."
That being said, if you are more of a homebody most of this exploration is mental. Like I said, he values intellectual conversation so he'll constantly think of new topics for discussion... or just blurt out whatever is on his mind. If he gets too bored though, he will resort to pranks. Don't worry, nothing particularly malicious, but definitely mildly inconveniencing. Stuff like mixing up condiments or surprising you with icey hands.
Still, he would appreciate a trip outside once in a while, lest boredom gnaw on his brain to numbness.
Gift-giving, acts of service and quality time seem to suit his love style. Words of affirmation did seem applicable too but we have to remember he's trained himself to say what the other wants to hear and how they want to hear it. Perhaps this may bleed into the beginning of your relationship but the more he relaxes around you he drops the sickly sweet praises in favor of something more genuine. Compare his earlier praises for the traveler to his highest friendship level line for context.
I've mentioned this earlier, but Kaeya is an amazing listener. The kind of person who, even if they may not have the slightest clue about what you're info-dumping about, will nod and add his own remarks. This is one of the rare moments where you get to see him drop the "tall, dark and handsome" charade and just stare at you with this dopey smile that's almost alien on him. Your excitement seems to bleed into him and he eagerly reciprocates.
Coming to the point of affections, I do see him into a pda but it varies with the situation. I don't think he'd hold your hand and frolic on the streets, instead he'd offer you his arm.
It's surprisingly traditional for him, but the learnings of a noble household are hard to forget. Especially when they serve him well. It's also a romantic way of 'claiming' you to speak. Kaeya is not violently possessive to the point of restricting you, but his insecurity of losing you can manifest in gestures like these.
He'll be all smug about it, calling you lucky as his chest fills with pride. If you didn't know any better, if he was preening himself on your attention.
But it's all a cover for the warmth gathering at the tip of his ears.
"Blushing? Me? Hah, you have quite the imagination, my dear."
"A bounce in my step...? Has Jean been lending you her novels? I didn't realize you were such a romantic!"
But he'd prefer this out of office. After all, his subordinates already find him questionable and he doubts they'd respect the sight of their captain skipping about with his arm looped with yours.
When at work his love gets more subtle. He'll give you a smile as he passes, brushing against you as he murmurs "Wait for me, I shan't be too long" or a silent conversation through looks alone, especially if you're in the same room.
(He searches for you amidst the crowd as the ambassador continues her audacious tirade. He leans forward to smother his growing smirk when he finds you and you see him tilt his head almost imperceptibly to the side. But it barely lasts. When Jean looks over he's back to his previous impassive attention, as if the little exchange with you had never happened.)
He doesn't shy away from kisses either, both in public and private (though please don't expect one when he's being watched on official business). Your poor, unsuspecting self will be attacked by surprise pecks on the cheek at every turn when out in the city. Particularly during shopping.
The soft pressure on your upper cheek shocks you out of your daydreams and you're greeted by that familiar, self-satisfied grin.
"Well hello there." Kaeya holds you by the waist, already reaching for your grocery bag with the other. "What a pleasant surprise to run into you here!"
"Slacking of? Me?" He huffed, pushing his lips into a pout and furrowing his brow. The dilating star of his eye reminded you of cat pawing at yarn. "How could you think so, when I have nothing but the highest regards for you, hm?" He steals away your rebuttal with a peck on your lips, smiling all the more as Marjorie hides her own with the back of her hand.
When not having his arm interlocked with yours, Kaeya enjoys guiding you gently with a hand on the small of your back. It’s his own way of saying “taken!” without being all over you. He fancies himself a gentleman, as trained by the Ragnvindrs, and will treat you as such.
Speaking of gentleman, he will carry your bags for you. If you refuse his assistance, he will huff and sulk until you give in. Whether it’s your handbag, a shopping bag, a satchel, a purse, etc., he will relieve you of the load.
“Please, let me.” He flexed his bicep subtly, your groceries dangling on his arm. The way he’s beaming at you is almost boyish and young, as if the slyness had never been there. “What’s the use of lifting if I can’t lift your burdens?”
“What do you mean ‘that’s cheesy’? Is chivalry dead to you? I’ll have you know it’s the mark of a true Knight of Favonius!”
But of course, as the Cavalry Captain there is only so much time he can spend with you. Expeditions can take him away for months and despite his love for you, his duty as a knight comes first. He clears his schedule and prepares before time to spend the last few days before the journey with you, whisking you out on dates of a more private nature. He also gets quieter during this period and lets you do most of the talking, content with holding your hand and thumbing your pulse as he nods along. There is a heaviness to him despite his graceful gait; his gaze lingers on you and his smile seems hollow and strained.
Kaeya is a careful man, but he acknowledges the risks that come with his line of work. It didn’t seem to matter too much in the beginning, though thoughts of Klee and— though he’d never admit it— Diluc had curbed his recklessness, with you it felt like a different burden altogether. You who had so much faith in him, you who would wait for him into the early hours as he sweet talked all sorts of folk in the tavern, you whose laugh he adored the most; ambrosia in the city of wine and song… he almost scoffed at the thought. Look at him. How many times had he sworn to never open his heart to another? Yet here he was, holding your wrist like a sailor clinging to a rotting plank. And what if he couldn’t come back? What if he kept you waiting forever?
For once Kaeya surrendered the silence to the chirping crickets, having little faith in his voice with the thickness of his throat. The rhythmic pulse of your vein beat against his thumb and he adjusted your head against him. If you had commented, he had only smiled. Whatever playful rebuke came to mind died long before it reached his tongue. He felt your pulse once more, breathing in quietly. Like it or not, your heart was another burden to bear— though a much more appreciable sort.
His cryo vision caught the setting sun, flashing suddenly in the corner of his eye. His attention drifted to it and he reached to fiddle with the holder. Sometimes he’d take the sphere out and turn it this way and that, though it was usually the long nights that made him do so . By now he was sure he’d be able to tell the make blindfolded, groove for groove.
His stomach churned at the sudden heat that passed over him. Flames erupted in the eye of his mind, engulfing his entire right side, eating away the uniform he no longer donned. It twisted this way and that in its barbaric dance as it sunk its amorphous fangs into his skin and feasted in delight. He felt the boils fester and swore the afternoon breeze carried the stench of burning flesh and leather.
Then he blinked and the flames were gone. He flexed the fingers of his right hand, an odd emptiness occupying the dread that consumed him prior.
Kaeya smiled, a dreadfully determined thing he was glad you couldn't see. Here he was, a living threat to Celestia, reject of the Heavenly Principles and cast out of the only family he'd come to know. Yet you'd let him hold you? You, who could not fathom the lengths he would go to for the sake of this city, and now, you?
Well then. It would seem he would have no choice but to return to you alive and well. No matter the cost.
But don't think he'll leave you completely alone. See, Kaeya always has his eye on you, even from Sumeru or even Inazuma if his travels take him that far. Why, he has Vile and a dozen other informants all around Mondstadt, his eyes and ears away from home. They're already looking after the Knights, Treasure Hoarders and the Winery, so why not add little you to their roster? Don't worry, nothing too invasive. Just to check if someone is giving you trouble, how your health seems from a distance, if you've gotten into trouble yourself if no one's given it to you already and how you're doing in general. And... well... if your eyes wander in his absence.
He also keeps in contact through letters as often as he can. He writes in a descriptive, almost story-like way that makes it easier for you to imagine you're there with him. And he expresses how he'd love for that to happen in each one. If his absence is particularly long he'll send you little gifts and trinkets long with them. Never wine though. Oh no, "The bliss of Death After Noon can only be truly relished in the presence of your fine company", as he'd say so himself.
Surprisingly there is a lot of tough love with him. Yes, he'll give you cheesy one liners, yes he'll hold the door open for you and yes he'll go on numerous soliloquies into the early hours of lone nights for your sake. But he will also call you out if you deserve it and will not be gentle about it.
Kaeya eyes your hunched form from the doorway, though you do not see the slightest bit of sympathy on his face.
"I assume you'll be working till dawn again?" His silvery voice is flat, holding none of the usual animation. "How typical of you to push work to the penultimate moment despite-", he held up his fingers one by one as he counted, "-one, two- four days time! Really, you absolutely must hold class on the art of procrastination."
Whether you accept his words in begrudging silence or turn back to give him a tongue lashing of your own, Kaeya's lips remain firmly pressed into a thin frown. You get the feeling that you've disappointed him more than you've upset him.
He has a similar disposition during arguments. Cold and snide, painfully direct. Kaeya will stand up for himself even if he desires your companionship, so if he believes he's in the right you best be prepared for a long battle of the wills.
But he rarely raises his voice in them. He doesn't need to. Kaeya faces extremely volatile political situations on a weekly basis and he knows how to use his patience to unnerve his opposer.
If you're the type to take on a more aggressive defense or are prone to going ballistic often- he'll let you scream your heart out and brand him with insult after insult, all the while watching comfortably while resting his cheek on his palm. Don't worry, he is listening, but he's also preparing to unleash the most soul-shattering jabs at your character the moment you stop for breath. And he won't falter if you speak over him, instead he'll continue in that low, eerily level tone. His eye will never leave yours. But if you continue to be unreasonable (i.e. not hear his side out) he will simply walk away and ignore you until you're ready to be civil. Even then he is full of condescension.
But if you're the type to avoid conflict or are sensitive to it, he will be gentler. But he'll still make it clear he's upset. He will refrain from any snide digs, though it's hard; he has a tendency to get snappy when defensive. Arguments are resolved surprisingly amicably if you're open to just talking it out without any finger-pointing or name calling. Just keep in mind that if you dish something out with an intent to hurt him, he'll give it back to you ten times worse.
In fact, there's actually a way to tell when Kaeya's mad at you. He'll try to maintain casual and open body language, but if you look closely he's actually quite stiff. Physically restraining himself from saying something ugly - because Kaeya Alberich does not in fact want to get ugly with you. Condescending quips corrupt his playful sassiness and his lax smiles tighten. People usually look away when they get defensive or feel threatened, but Kaeya is one of the few who's stare doesn't waver. In fact it becomes harder and more- for the lack of better word- dead. Think of Cillian Murphy's iconic death stare as Thomas Shelby but imagine he's smiling (which, if you ask me, makes it much worse), that's the closest I can get to an example.
It's not that he's trying to intimidate you (though it definitely serves him well when he's interrogating someone), there are just a thousand possible outcomes he's predicting from what he'll say to you- especially how he'll say it- and he just defaults to 'empty'. It's actually one of his most vulnerable moments because he's steeling himself for whatever is coming after. The problem with him is that you have to figure out most of his cues by yourself because he will not risk opening up too much about his inner world. One, because it's ruined him before, two, because he doesn't know how to be emotionally open anymore after years of suppressing them.
You can't just tell him "Everything is fine now that I'm here, I believe in you and love you and you don't have to hide around me, I know this in't the real you," and actually expect him to go "Oh, I'm such a fool for hiding my true self after having secrecy instilled in me during my formative years which has both stressed and traumatized me and still does! Let's hug it out and make love and talk about how much we love each other!" . If you actually say that to him he will just stare at you for a good while. A few minutes actually. In absolute pin-drop silence. Then his shoulders will start to shake. Then he'll burst out laughing, slap his knees, collapse on the floor and wheeze like an asthma patient.
You stand absolutely frozen as the Cavalry Captain rolls about on your floor, wheezing and flopping like a dying fish. If it wasn't for his laughter you'd think he was being electrocuted by Lisa for delaying yet another book return.
"Archons!" He gasps and you know he doesn't call on them often, "You're so- so-!" He doubles over in laughter again, rubbing a tear rolling down his cheek.
...
His laugh dies down shortly and he just... lays there catching his breath. Slowly, he sits up and rubs his face. His lips twitch into a smile again despite himself when he gazes up at your confused and embarrassed self.
"The real me? Really?" He huffs out something that sounded somewhere between scoff and a sigh, though he looks quite endeared yet annoyed. "Did you try to compete with Dahlia's tolerance? You call me a sap and yet here you are spouting a drunk bard's prose."
Thankfully, Kaeya does not get mad often. Even when he' had an exceptionally foul day he'll give you plenty of signs- or just straight up ask you- to give him some alone time. The only time I see him actually getting mad is if you cross a boundary, such as poking around his study, not giving him space, pestering him for his secrets or forcing his eyepatch off.
You can also trigger his anger if you doubt him or his words, i.e. accuse him of being a liar (though this is a more reasonable argument considering he will hide plenty of secrets from you) like everyone else does. If Kaeya loves you, it's because he feels comparatively safe with you than most others. If you start to doubt him it's nothing less than heartbreak for him, which is why he reacts so strongly to it.
But then in this case, he does know he's in the wrong and it's unfair to you. It will take a day or two of distance for him to come crawling back with none of his dramatized bravado in sight and actually apologize to you. Kaeya may have pride that borders on arrogance, but he's not an asshole- well, at least not that big an asshole, as he consoles himself- and he will accept his mistakes and try to be better.
Overall, I won't say a romantic relationship with Kaeya is easy (are any of them?) and he's definitely has his... issues. But you will not find many men as sweet and devoted as he is. He has his secrets and he has his trouble, his future is uncertain and he finds himself obsessing over it constantly. But one thing he is certain about is that he is absolutely, irrevocably, ridiculously in love with you.
And maybe, just maybe, he'll try taking that chance he took three years ago. But there's still a long way to go before he even considers it.
A/N: Well, I hope you like this. Once again, thank you so so much for reading and loving my work!
There was initially going to be an NSFW portion for this but I cut it out at the last moment. Might consider posting NSFW headcanons of him after, though I'm not too confident about writing smut. Let me know if I you all want it.
Well, take care of yourself now, till the next post!
