I haven't been a teenager in over a decade. Mind has yet to change on the subject.
At 14, I told my guidance counselor that I didn't want kids. He chuckled, patted me on the back, and informed me that when I got a little older, and I was with a guy, I would change my mind.
At 16, my grandmother nearly had a heart attack because of her three granddaughters, myself and the youngest agreed we didn't want to uave babies. Ever.
At 17, my father asked about my life plan. I told him: graduate high school, get my college degree, do some traveling and writing, go for this particular job I wanted, retired around X age, take month-long vacations to places I wanted to spend time in, etc. He asked, "What about a husband? Children? Normal things a girl is supposed to think about?" My response- a husband if a man came along that could share an adventure with me, kids were a No Go. He assured me I would 'grow up' qnd change my mind.
At 19, I shocked my former babysitter who had known me since I was a toddler, when I confirmed the rumour she'd heard that I didn't want kids. She patted my mom's arm and reassured her in a sweet voice that, "Don't worry, girls say a lot of silly things before they meet the right fella, and wise up. She'll give you grand babies"
At 22, I was talking to a college professor who chuckled at my making a comment about how, "thank goodness I'm never going to have to worry about juggling child rearing eith marriage, work, and life", then she realized I was serious. She asked if I was alright, thinking I could-not (not didn't-want) kids. I told her the truth, could have but didn't want to. She was aghast, then told me that I'd change my mind when my husband wanted some kids.
Well, I'm over 30, still have absolutely no desire to give birth, adopt, raise, or have much of anything to do with children. I don't hate children, I don't think people who have them are crazy (more power to you, to create and/or care for another person), and I don't think it's impossible to have a life AND have children. I recognized at an early age that I don't have that biological imperative to procreate, I don't have the patience to deal with children (something that has shown very little improvement as I've gotten older, in fact it might be getting worse), and I don't feel my life is incomplete without creating another life- I am good with living my own and doing my best to enrich the lives of those I care about (I try my best to be a good friend, to be a good sister, good daughter, good pet-owner, and a good person in general).
So please, please stop telling girls (or really kids at all, but especially girls) that they will change their minds. Please don't tell them that meeting 'the right guy' will make them suddenly feel broody, that their potential future husband's desire to have children will make her reconsider and see things his way. For one, a couple should have had that conversation and decided if it was a deal breaker, LONG before they got hitched. For another, it's her body that gets to grow and birth another human being- her husband's desire to be a father doesn't supercede her autonomy.
Please, let girls make their own choices? Girls are forced to mature too fast as it is and are bombarded from all sides with SHOULD (you SHOULD be a size 2, you SHOULD wear this dress, you SHOULD have a boyfriend to be a normal teen, you SHOULD always smile), they don't need another judgement from someone who hasn't walked a mile in their particular shoes. Respect teenage girls and their ability to look at the world, themselves, their situation, and their future, and make an important choice.
*gets off soap box, slides it back under the sofa, lets out a sigh*
Please stop telling people who insist they do not have any sexual and/or romantic interest that "one day that will change."
"you're young now, but when you meet the right person, that will change. You'll want a relationship."
"Oh, honey, it's just a phase, trust me!"
"You've just had bad experiences. Some day, you'll fall in love and want to be with someone."
Maybe they will, maybe they won't. But give people the space to figure it out. And if they tell you that they *don't* want a relationship, and/or they *don't* want a partner, accept that and move on. Don't bring it up, don't shame them, and stop treating them like they're a fool who "just hasn't met the right person, yet."
I have written for Bucky Barnes, Agatha Harkness, Carol Danvers, Natasha Romanoff, and Sam Wilson.
I have WIPs for Yelena Belova, too.
My stories may have adult themes. You are responsible for your own media consumption.
Multi-Character Pairings
One Shots
Birds of a Feather (Bucky Barnes x fem!reader x Sam Wilson x Joaquin Torres)
You and Bucky were already in a committed relationship when you both fall in love with Sam. What happens when Joaquin comes into the picture and starts questioning his sexuality?
Bucky Barnes
One Shots
Beautiful Mess
Bucky tries to cook you a food youâve been craving. It goes wrong, but it also goes right.
Almost Kisses
Bucky's kisses have become a daily part of your life together, but it wasnât always that way.
All These Things That I've Done
In which Bucky leaves behind a loving note every time he goes on a mission. But what happens when you stumble on a letter not meant to be found⌠yet?
In Another Life
Bucky is certain you only see him as a friend. It only took him travelling to a different reality to realise otherwise.
Comfortable and Easy
You are the only person Bucky could ever spend a domestic evening with.
Bloodstains and Daydreams
You and Bucky fantasize about starting a family while tending to each otherâs wounds.
Under my Skin
Bucky is always ready to give his girl cuddles.
Hot Chocolate?
Bucky wakes up from a nightmare and canât find you.
Do Humans Dream of Normal Sheep?
Generations ago, your family was cursed to never sleep. Now that the curse is broken, Bucky helps you rest by telling you a bedtime story.
Of Black Ink and White Lillies
Bucky wants to get a tattoo, so he asks you for advice.
Morning Coffee
A short fic in which he makes you coffee every morning, without fail.
The Great Wave
Bucky would do anything to make his girl happy. He would even risk his life to get you the perfect gift.
Altar Ghosts
While on a mission with Bucky Barnes, youâre forced to confront your ex-fiancĂŠ, who left you at the altar. Bucky helps you realize you deserve far better than the man who broke your heart.
Happily Ever Eventually
Sam and Yelena are helping you and Bucky plan your wedding.Â
Love in Full Bloom
Bucky thinks everything he touches dies, but the plants in your apartment prove otherwise.
Dangerous Game
Bucky Barnes is dating a trigger-happy antihero, and she has him wrapped around her finger. Sheâs just Buckyâs pretty girl, and he lets her get away with everything.
Temple
Bucky Barnes is struggling to say âI love you,â so he says other things to make sure you know he cares.
Breaking Point
You and Bucky had always hated each other. When Bucky gets injured during a mission, you start wondering if the hatred was just masking something else.
Strays
Bucky has a soft spot for strays.
Soft Lights
A short fic in which you and Bucky get high together.
Kickoff
A short fic in which Bucky tries supporting your favourite football team.
Hypothetically: Version 1 / Version 2
The Thunderbolts* crew gossip about Bucky's love life / Your ragtag group of supernatural superheroes gossip about your love life. (A one-shot told in two perspectives!)
Sleeper
When Bucky falls in love with the antihero heâs sleeping with, he offers her a place in the Thunderbolts*.
Match
You finally found your intellectual match in Bucky Barnes.
Full Throttle
Bucky thinks he hooked up with a really pretty mechanic.Â
The Catalyst
In this universe, you and Bucky are happy. In other universes, it might not be that simple.
Portals
You teach Bucky how to open portals using a sling ring. Turns out, heâs a menace with that thing.
Getaway
No one knows Bucky is dating an F1 driver until you show up in a getaway car for mission extraction.
Papercuts
You, a mutant loyal to Magneto, gets transported to a world where mutants donât exist. As you fall in love with Bucky Barnes, you start questioning Magnetoâs views and start embracing the ideas of your old teacher, Charles Xavier.
The Art of Thieving
Bucky starts investigating a series of art thefts⌠and starts helping the thief.
Back on Track
After a brutal crash during a race, Bucky wonât leave your bedside.
Word of the Day
A short fic in which you teach him modern slang words.
Depths
Bucky is an open book and you donât trust anyone enough to reveal your past. What happens when Bucky insists you donât have to go through it alone?
Armed and Dangerous
A short fic in which he gets an upgraded arm and it gives you (dirty) thoughts.
Alpine and the Alien
Your and Buckyâs cat, Alpine, fucks around and finds out.Â
Snow
You love the snow. Bucky canât stand it, but he canât bring himself to tell you, either.Â
The Land Shark
A short fic in which Bucky gets attached to Jeff the Land Shark.Â
Loose Ends
Your husband, Bucky Barnes, finally meets your multiversal best friend, Wade Wilson.
Swipe Right
You matched with Bucky Barnes, your teammate, on a dating app.
Golden
Bucky watches the Golden Globes with you, only to be adorably jealous when your celebrity crush, Sebastian Stan, wins an award.
Irresistible
Falling in love with Bucky Barnes is a little complicated when you also happen to be Yelenaâs ex-girlfriend.Â
Devil's Backbone
When you fall in love with Bucky Barnes, you start hunting down anyone who has ever wronged him. What happens when he finds out?Â
Dinner and Diatribes
Bucky has a crush on you⌠and your knives. Who knew weapons turned him on?
Autobot Dad
Buckyâs daughter loves the Transformers cartoons. She asks Bucky if heâs an autobot.Â
Bloody Mary
When you inherit a criminal empire from your father, Bucky Barnes decides to investigate you. He hadnât expected you to be so⌠charming.
Perception
Congressional Candidate Bucky Barnes starts sleeping with his campaign manager. What happens when he wants more than just sex?
Princess
You fall for Bucky Barnes, the Avenger assigned as your bodyguard. When a photo of the two of you kissing leaks to the tabloids, your clients start questioning your companyâs integrity.
All American All-Star
Falling for the clubâs American striker, Bucky Barnes, was never part of the planâ especially since your father happens to own the club. (Football/soccer au)
Better Man
Trapped in an abusive relationship, you cross paths with Bucky Barnes. Maybe, you deserve a second chance at love.
The Congressman's Secretary
Bucky forgets his birthday. You, his secretary, remember.
Menace
A short fic in which he showers with one arm (and with you).
Smitten
Sam finally meets Buckyâs girlfriend, though youâre not who he thinks you are.Â
Midnight Zoomies
Your super soldier husband always gets a burst of energy after a mission.
Cheer Up, Barnes
When you go undercover as a Professional Cheerleader, Buckyâs thoughts become filthy.
The Lady, or The Tiger?
Bucky is in love with you, but he doesn't even know what you really look like. What happens when he finds out?
Sanctuary
Bucky needs to vent, and youâre there to listen. One day, you both try a powerful sex magic ritual that blurs the line between healing and love.
Siren
Bucky is obsessed with you. He is insanely, hopelessly, unhealthily obsessed with you.
Praise
Bucky realises he has a praise kink after getting a tattoo.Â
Jackass
Everyone is horrified that Bucky is flirting with a married woman, but then they realise there's a reason why.Â
Simplify
Bucky falls in love with his best friend's ex-girlfriend.
Spare Parts
Your boyfriend gets used to life with one arm.
Hypersonic Missiles
Congressman Barnes falls in love with a fiercely progressive senator. What happens when he starts regretting going into politics at all?
Have We Met Before?
America Chavez says that you and Bucky are together in every universe.Â
Don't Touch the Tech Girl
Sam told Bucky that you, his new tech engineer, was off-limits. But that just makes Bucky want you more.
Frostbites
Bucky found you injured in the middle of a snowstorm.
Hold On
Bucky has trouble holding hands until he meets you.
Small Circles
Bucky Barnes is still getting used to modern dating⌠and hates that you have to work with your exes.
The Beholder
Bucky Barnes struggles with intimacy. Perhaps, he just needed to see himself through your eyes.
Kindred Spirits
Bucky starts courting you, a woman out of time.
Series / Multi-parts
Of Heroes and Heartstings Masterlist (Completed)
Bucky Barnes develops a crush on the researcher who interviewed him.
Waste a Moment Masterlist (Completed)
Bucky had always kept his distance, but seeing you get hurt on a mission changed everything. For the first time, he has a chance to start over with you.
Dark Necessities Masterlist (Ongoing and Paused)
You drink Buckyâs blood out of necessity and accidentally form a primal bond that has the ability to unlock an ancient ritual magic.
My Own Soul's Warning + Supporting Stories Masterlist (Ongoing)
This is a series of one-shots that revolve around you, a cosmic entity who falls in love with Bucky Barnes and sacrifices everything.
In Her Corner (completed)
Bucky had already found the love of his life in the 1940sâ a boxer, just like him. But as a woman in a male-dominated sport, your success looks different from his. In the present day, Sam offers to help Bucky track your family down⌠never imagining you might still be alive.
Super Soldier Support Group (completed)
Sam Wilson starts a Support Group for Super Soldiers. You and Bucky sit next to each other during the sessions.
Spoils of War (ongoing)
Your father, the God of War, trained you to be his executionerâ his weapon. When he assigns you a mission on Earth, you encounter Bucky, who helps you see yourself as more than a weapon. He offers you refuge and helps you go into hiding. Knowing that his favourite child has gone rogue, your father sends your half-brothers, Phobos and Deimos to bring you home.
Agatha Harkness
One Shots
To be Loved
A short fic in which Agatha makes sure you can never die.
Perfection
You and Agatha are on a perfect picnic date when its started raining. Why not dance in the rain?
Safe and Sound
You have been cursed. Agatha will stop at nothing to destroy the witch that cursed you.
Winter of 1984
Agatha always makes sure you fall asleep safe and warm in her arms, even as the coldest winter in generations raged on outside.Â
Natasha Romanoff
One Shots
Muse
You are an artist, and your greatest muse is an assassin.Â
Pirouette
Steve and Sam set Natasha up with a professional ballerina, but they already know each other.Â
Sam Wilson
One Shots
The Future's Overdue
A year after breaking up with Sam Wilson, he shows up at your doorstep.
Use Somebody
Itâs Valentineâs Day and neither you nor your best friend Sam has plans, so he invites you over for movie night.
Carol Danvers
One Shots
Peace and Quiet
A short fic in which Carol always seems to run off to save a distant galaxy before breakfast.
Various blurbs and ideas!
Bucky, Steve, and Sam as dads
Bucky has a light up arm
Sub!Bucky headcanons
Happy and Bucky spend Christmas together
You're dating Bucky and also Olivia Walker's Best Friend
Dear friends, kind hearts, and everyone who has stood with us,
When I first opened my heart to the world and shared our story, I never imagined the amount of love and solidarity we would receive. Thanks to your incredible support, weâve now reached $12,837âa milestone that brings real light to some very dark days.
From the deepest corners of my heart, thank you.
đ A Journey of Loss, but Also of Strength
As many of you know, Iâve lost 25 of my loved ones during this devastating war. That grief lives with me every single day. Itâs in the silence that once held laughter, in the empty spaces where we once gathered as a family.
But through your help, Iâve also felt something else: hope. And that hope is priceless.
â21/Oct/2023 Before It Reached Us: The Day Our Neighborâs House Was Destroyedâ
A quiet moment of fear, filmed just before everything changed.
â22/Oct/2023 The Morning After: Our Family Home in Ruinsâ
This is what was left behind after the bombing of our home.
đż What Life Looks Like for Us Now
Despite everything, weâre still here.
Still surviving. Still hoping.
But things have only gotten harder.
The war has returned, more brutal than beforeâand for over a month now, Gaza has been completely sealed off. No food is coming in. No medical supplies. No aid. No trade. No one is allowed to leave, and no one is allowed to enter.
Weâre trapped.
đ We live with the fear of tomorrow, every single day. Airstrikes, drones, and the uncertainty of what might happen next.
đ¨âđŠâđ§ Our family is forever changedâwe havenât just lost people; weâve lost pieces of ourselves.
đ Basic needs go unmetâeven clean water feels like a luxury now. Medicines, if they exist at all, are unreachable.
And yetâŚ
Your support reminds us that weâre not forgotten. It reminds us that someone, somewhere, is still listening. That someone still cares. That weâre not completely alone in this.
Every message. Every share. Every dollar. It tells us:
Youâre walking this road with us.
And that gives us the strength to keep going.
đ What You Can Do
If youâve already donatedâthank you beyond words.
If you can share our story again, it could reach someone who can help.
Even $5 means warmth, comfort, and a chance to breathe a little easier.
My name is Mosab Elderawi, and I am a survivor of the war in Gaza. Life as I knew it has been completely destroyed. I have lost my home, my
⨠Why It All Matters
This isnât just about reaching a fundraising goal. Itâs about surviving war with dignity.
Itâs about believing in tomorrow. Itâs about making sure my daughter grows up knowing that the world did not look away.
Thank you for your kindness, patience, and belief in our humanity.
Youâve helped me find my voiceâand I will use it to keep hope alive.
đ From the Heart: A Quiet Apology
Thereâs something I need to sayâsomething thatâs been on my heart for some time.
When I first began sharing our story, I didnât know what the right way was. I was scared, grieving, and trying to protect my family in any way I could. I reached out to many people, hoping someone, anyone, would see us. In that process, I now realize I may have overstepped, and I might have made some feel overwhelmed.
If that happened, I am truly sorry.
Please believe me when I say it was never out of disregard or pushiness. It came from a place of fearâfear of being forgotten, fear of not being able to keep my family safe, fear of watching everything I love slip away in silence.
Iâm learning as I go. Iâve slowed down. Iâm more mindful now, trying to share our journey in a way that feels respectful of the space and hearts of those listening.
If my words ever came at the wrong time, or in the wrong way, I hope you can understand where they came fromâand I hope you can forgive me.
Thank you for seeing past my mistakes. Thank you for still being here. It means more than I can ever explain.
Vetted by @gazavetters ( #309 )
With love and endless gratitude,
Mosab and family âĽď¸
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