Uzoamaka Aduba Cultural Superiority and Laze
So I am starting this discussion based on a quote from the amazing Uzo Aduba of Orange Is The New Black. In an interview with The Improper Boston, Uzo explained why she does not change her name for the sake of our convenience:
“My family is from Nigeria, and my full name is Uzoamaka, which means ‘The road is good.’ Quick lesson: My tribe is Igbo, and you name your kid something that tells your history and hopefully predicts your future. So anyway, in grade school, because my last name started with an A, I was the first in roll call, and nobody ever knew how to pronounce it. So I went home and asked my mother if I could be called Zoe. I remember she was cooking, and in her Nigerian accent she said, 'Why?’ I said, 'Nobody can pronounce it.’ Without missing a beat, she said, 'If they can learn to say Tchaikovsky and Michelangelo and Dostoyevsky, they can learn to say Uzoamaka.’”
Mad props, Uzo, mad props for not assimilating and for using your platform to encourage others to be their unassimilated selves.
(Important note: Obviously there is a time and a place for assimilating for the purposes of safety and advancement in society, and I do not mean to discredit those that do. You also deserve props for survival and thriving in what is a challenging world to navigate, particularly for queer, trans, Black, Brown, Asian, Native American, non gender conforming, LGB, differently abled, big bodied, darker skinned, and honestly a host of other potentially intersecting identities.)
So here I will take some advice from Hitch, that absurdly charming match-maker played by one of my favorite actors, Will Smith.
In your communication with people, go the 90%… Don’t try to kiss everyone, but give a little extra leeway and a little more effort.
There is a psychology study that I have not been able to locate (please let me know if you find it), and it goes something like this. A bunch of college students are split into two separate groups. Both listen to the exact same lecture, but one half watches an image of a white-looking face:
and the other half watches an image of an Asian-looking face:
After the lecture, all students are asked to rate the lecturer on clarity, pronunciation, etc. Across the board, regardless of the race of the student, the half of the class watching the Asian-looking face gave lower scores.
So we see an Asian face and we are unconsciously led to believe that it must be harder to understand that person.
What does this have to do with Aduba’s quote? Everything.
We meet a person with a name we have never heard before, and we have two options. One, we try to say the name, fail miserably and sound foolish.
Two, we decide that we are going to preserve our cultural superiority in that space by not stooping to attempt something new and possibly looking like a fool.
(While the sentiment is understandable, This adorable two-year-old white boy is not someone to learn moral lessons from. He’s just lazy.)
We see an Asian face and automatically begin to assume that they will be difficult to understand. We have two choices. One, we leave our dirty little racist assumptions unacknowledged and go about our day.
Two, we take a peek under the rug.
I am here to tell you that you have nasty little racist thoughts creeping around your unconscious, and they really need to be exposed to the light. There are 12 steps. The first is to acknowledge the behavior. Only when we are conscious of our unconscious biases can we work with them in any way. So take that 90% of your iceberg thoughts and lift them up momentarily to observe what resides on the underside of your conscious thought. Its quite a lot you probably didn’t expect to see. It might smell, as low tide usually does. But youll get used to it, then grow to love it, and when you cant smell it, you might find yourself missing it. (Does anybody else miss the smell of low tide?)
Take it upon yourself to learn someone’s name and at least build your 50% of the communication bridge. Just because we are in ‘Murica (I’m talking especially to you, white person) doesn’t mean you can dismiss anyone without a mainstream, white, midwestern, newscaster accent. Don’t be a cultural elitist. Don’t discard somebody’s name or drop the ball on your portion of the effort in communication. Don’t be that person who thinks they are too special to take time out of their precious day and energy of their precious mind to attempt to connect and understand another human being who communicates in a different cultural fashion.
Especially if you are white. Get over your caucasian self and be respectful. Don’t be a toddler.
