My poetry n i against the world
Sade Olutola

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@loonyunicornn
My poetry n i against the world
All of life
All of life, is all of me. And all of you, is all I see
sunlight on my face is the way we are alive
but depletion on yours is the way we die
touch my face as a glimmering tomorrow
hopeful words but a shy dark sorrow
we won't know we've stolen time until we ask for more to borrow
please hold me here with words of love
I'm terrified to hear the morning dove
All of life is all of me, all of life is all of you
all of life is everything we say, and all of life is what we do
all of life is birth and death, all of life is this is in one breath
hold me tighter I'm not ready to go
time is winning and my brain will throw
all of life is all I see, all of life is you not me
all of life is love worth lost
all of life is something we got.
the unfavorable morality. Ever we are changing, ever we are alone. your mind is a terrifying place, one I never want to call home. In pretentious advocacy I say, "you don't know thyself, you have the gift of ignorance." taste my mouth as she fills with dread. Lick the wounds that the glass would never tear. Weather the incompetent storm ahead. embrace me when it's over. as the gory details of my body slowly rot away, spin me around. light dancing from your eyes into my soul. Cry from them, let me see what it is that makes you weak. Be with me in the fields of sorrow, let me know what makes you feel. I dance with the grace of the bellowing beast of madness. I drink from the cup of glory, I dance with monsters. I look at you with my eye of knowing, I see you. "Ask me, ask me what I see," I whisper, "ask me what it is that draws me to you. ask me, everything you fear to know about yourself and let me tell you. As you tell me."
this is a cute little reading from earlier about a friend of mine. This is my new deck though, it's cats rahaha. cutest thing evrrr
got new tarot cards today, who wants me to tell them terrible god honest truths about themselves that they don't want to hear!!
According to the experts, men are very fragile. They can get crushed down if you assert yourself in any way.
THE LOVE WITCH (2016) dir. Anna Biller
my man who hurts me as I hurt him. "My my," I say with my head in my hands, "how fucked are we that this inevitable pairing was always doomed," I regress into sadness that forecloses on my body. I let the anger and jokes pass and allow myself to feel what it is I really want. Why could it never work, I think in simplicity. I know we have to move on, I know you don't want to. We say we don't like each other but liars end up cursed together. The pain we cause the other will fuel this feeding pride we have of the contrast. Maybe one day I will let this feeling of grief wash over me somewhere standing in a field. Maybe one day the feeling of regret and wrongful timing will subside. For now I will let it linger, for now let me wallow in that.
I talk to the moon when she is full and I rest when she is empty
I read books when I am sad
I give people too many chances they don't deserve
I will never lower my standards again
I lay in the grass with my arms outstretched whenever I feel lost
I write in my diary the plans and misery of being me
I walk for hours hoping to find something or someone I am missing
I find that as the days pass I wish I could return to Jupiter
I keep poetry about the people I no longer love
I could forever get lost inside of my mind but instead chose to get lost in the world, get lost in the present, get lost in the room that has become my prison
thinking about a couple weeks ago when a ex boyfriend tried to insult me by saying I'm in my old world too much and I overthink? Like he was genuinely saying me overthinking is a problem but not even in a way that would make sense. He told me that I think too much and that I should think less. girl one, that doesn't even involve you, never once do I publicly overthink to you. two, if I could I would?? and the thing about being in my own world too much, like, SO? I mind my business and am an introvert and a homebody, fuck outta here
daily affirmations:
my nonexistent sex tape hasn’t been leaked
there isn’t a man watching me through the window
my fit is hard
like why do I even care bruh, I don’t have a set asthetic and it bugs me and i feel BORING
all a girl can really wish for is new lipgloss and calico critters
full on pretending my life is fine and we’re not about to get nuked by russia
the inflection of your hate used to feel like love
The Man | Part 6
In an instant, a single bang rings out. It tears through the sky and makes me flinch, opening my eyes. The dark pool of murky liquid with the sun now risen flinches with me. A deer has fallen, this time it was an elder. With his head of horns so ferocious and mighty, for this death the Man cheers. I know what is to come, but it breaks me to think. I lift my head to the surface of the water, which I have drifted far below, I look to the sun. why?
The Man clobber to the deer which lay dead on the valley floor, he was a father to many. They say a prayer to the thing, soulless and gone, if only he were alive to hear it. They begin to take off an article of clothing that surrounds their opposable thumbs, as they get weapons out of their bags, as if they have not done enough. I hear the other Man in the forest sigh, they always do that after a bang. In jealousy of not catching the deer himself. I begin to hear the ripping. The ripping of man cutting open the deer, gutting his stomach. I grimace as the organs pool out, onto the soft snow. This is the circle of life. I remind myself, kill or be killed. I never want to kill, I will never subject my sacred body to the torment of being a murderer. I hear the organs pool onto the ground as the cutting goes on. I rock my body side to side to comfort myself. How am I so sensitive to the killings just as the first? Any living thing would be used to it by now, a formality, the token of existing. Why not I?
The Man | Part 5
As I allowed my body to be fully submerged under the surface of the icy lake I took a breath, a deep breath which would touch every piece of my body and soul before I plunged my head under. I let my eyes remain closed for a moment as I sank a little into the soft floor bottom. I used to enjoy bathing in the lake but because of the underwhelming circumstance it had turned my experience sour. I could hold my breath for hours, I could remain floating for however long I liked but since my mind was distracted with the nerves of the surrounding world it made it hard to concentrate. The sealife was somewhat entertaining for my temporary stay, but I could only watch, I could not listen. The fish took on a different vibration than I, a much quieter and more simple way of talking, I used to wonder what they said to one another when I would arrive abruptly into their home. I made sure not to step on any structures or disturb any peace, in the best way I could. The trees would tell me they were not startled by me, that they found me fascinating to look at. I was sometimes jealous of the trees, they knew everything, they could speak with anything and everything. It was, they said, because they were more connected to the world than animals, they could hear her mighty roar with every turn and circle she made around the sun. That is how I know that Man are dumb.
Man think trees are not alive, they think they do not speak or feel. They chop and cut them and drag them out into the places they've built. The trees tell me horror stories about the things Man has done, I choose not to believe. But if I believe it’s not happening, will it still go on? They say Man steals from the earth, they harvest and take and take and take. They say they’ve doubled in population, they say it's mutiny. They have come up with different words for the same thing, that they have grown so much they do not trust each other. That every word, and every day, is filled and littered with deception and fear. They say they are killing the planet, and each other, they make these weapons to kill the forest and now each other, with great battles and death. I squeeze my eyes tighter as a single glimmering tear rolls down my cheek and into the lake. What is one tear? I think sadly, in such a pool of droplets alike. What lies beyond the field, is there more to life? Is this all that there is? Is this irreversible? How much has life fallen, will it ever be picked back up?