Sex-Confessionals from a Four-Eyed Slut

Where I confess the secrets behind my sexual history.

[looselipsgethpv]

My nights with the Irish part 1

My first night spent partying with Irish men was some sort of Cinderella esque story. Although the carriage turned into a walk to Bart at 11 am. And my Irish prince never called. Jessica, my vibrant Latin coworker, and I decided to turn our groggy workday into a thirsty Thursday, except it was Monday… Either way we found ourselves in a tavern near work. After meeting three very cute Irish men the night escalated with drunken singing and shots of fireball whiskey. The night culminated into a brown out of sloppy sex. Sadly, I cannot remember how enjoyable it was. The morning after consisted of on and off again sex and stories told in the man’s sexy Irish accent. Okay, now I am bragging. All in all, it was a total bust, because the bloke didn’t call. Things to carry on: I can be frightened of a penis Cutie Mac tootie!

[looselipsgethpv]

Trevor

When I was a freshmen in high school, I got my first boyfriend. He bought me chocolates, fake diamond earings, and black fingerless gloves that he had stitched a broken heart and a T into. He make himself a matching pair. I have nothing witty to say, except for the just stating the facts of this silly "young love" I had. 

1. He said "I love you", and I did not return the favor.

2. He touched my breasts, and that was a huge deal.

3. He loved the fact that his mother hated me.

4. He chose "our song" which was a song by the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus about an abusive boyfriend, I don't think he caught that one.

5. His mormon friends referred to me as Satan's baby.

6. He once confessed to me that he masturbated to anime porn involving half human, half animal women. 

I cannot say much more than that... 

[looselipsgethpv]

AIM

The chatrooms brought to you by the good people of AOL introduced me to the world of some serious sex crazies. The men that claimed to be 18/m/ny we're probably in fact 45/m/nc, but who was I to judge? I claimed to be 16/f/ca but in fact I was 13/f/ca. 

These chatrooms gave me sexual thrills. Was it the taboo of being naughty with a stranger? The erotic messages of "I want to shove my cock in you"? Or my inner exhibitionist being set free onto the world? Regardless, I enjoyed unleashing my sexual frustrations as I masturbated to the words appearing on the screen, brought to you by hardrichard69 and lovespussycats87. 

[looselipsgethpv]

Witches

When I was 10, I had one friend and an expanding sexual curiosity, which culminated in the game that my friend and I called "witches".

This game consisted of my friend and I pretending to be witches, easy enough. The odd part was when she would play a part of an evil male witch, I was the beautiful lady witch, and she would proceed to capture me and then dry hump me into ecstasy. Sometimes, we would change the plot to have me sleeping, and her creeping into my bed to dry hump me awake, and accordingly into ecstasy. My sister once playing with us as my son, who was in no way involved in the sexual aspect of the game, pointed out the sexually "gross" aspect of the imaginative play. The game had to continue in secret, until my friend and I realized the actual implications of our game. 

Freud says our sexuality in childhood affects our sexuality as adults, could be why I am into being awoken by sex, being the submissive in a bdsm context, and why I get a lady boner for Professor Snape. 

[looselipsgethpv]

Stephen? Or something like that...

My first kiss: nothing romantic or incredibly sexy, just a 6 year old discovering that hanging out with boys led to naughty fun. 

Not incredibly naughty, but in the eyes of a first grader, sneaking off to my parents bathroom to practice "kissing like they do in Disney movies" (an act that involved open mouth movements on the others open mouth *NO TONGUE*), was extremely taboo. The pseudo-sexual thrill would have been a field day for Freud, especially after I tried to kiss my mother in the same way. Stephen (?) will forever live in infamy as not only my first kiss but my first redhead.