lou

la poesie est dans la rue en couleur pleine de vie — † —

[lorcane]

i have to clean my room cause im going on a 2 day trip on monday and dont want to leave it uhh like really messy and physically dirty but like... i really dont want to?

[lorcane]

also i need to do laundry and pack my shit but idk if everything will fit into one bag but i really don't want to take a suitcase since its really inconvenient and im going by bus and it would be really awkward and also i dont think itll fit so like uhh whatdoido

[lorcane]

i have to clean my room cause im going on a 2 day trip on monday and dont want to leave it uhh like really messy and physically dirty but like... i really dont want to?

[egberts]

the world's smallest carnivore is called the "least weasel" 😭😭 i'm dying but like if it's the smallest carnivore then it sure is the least amount of weasel you can have 😭😭😭

[sator-the-wanderer]

Look at him: this is absolutely the least amount of weasel you can have

[daughterofsarenrae]

To really put it in perspective

[flootzavut]

Immediately I love him

[snuffgurll]

@karcinogen you

[lorcane]

yesterday i had classes in a building i've never had classes in before. so we go with the day normally, we enter the geography room and i'm about to take an overdue history test. as i'm writing the test i look up at the teacher and notice that on the cabinet behind him there's a sheet of paper with a quote: «'numbers rule the world' - Pythagoras», and then i look closely and notice that it's been changed to «'prof. [my geo teacher's last name] rules the universe]' - Pythagoras». she's such a confident diva??

also, on the side of same cabinet was a calendar from 2010, which means that the only person older than said calendar in this whole classroom was the teacher, lmao

[star-ls]

I have the worlds most unattractive sneeze

[lorcane]

i have the worlds most unattractive nose blowing sound

[lorcane]

fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK

[lorcane]

im so fat i cant fit into anything i do not look good in anything i want to kill myself its getting so hot and i cant show my legs and arms and stomach i guess ill just boil myself inside the covering clothes

[lorcane]

i want to say some things but umm i cant really do that

[lorcane]

i decided to wear a lonsleeve and black full length jeans and now im gaslighting myself into thinking that it's really not that hot outside and that i seriously need the longsleeve to not freeze to death

[lorcane]

using the dinosaur video as a flashlight while going to the bathroom at 2 am

[lorcane]

tried plucking my eyebrows a lil but it genuinely hurts so much i started tearing up

[lorcane]

i tried to melt my stuffed nose away with hot water because it usually helps but it didn't and i'm dissapointed.

[lorcane]

25 degrees outside every single day and i STILL managed to catch a fucking cold

[lorcane]

tried plucking my eyebrows a lil but it genuinely hurts so much i started tearing up

[dlid0rass75]

Happy Mother's Day to Matty Healy

[lorcane]

'one day i was bored in bed and stalked you on the internet' no you did not. can we stop reducing the great danger of having a stalker to a quirky term for looking up someone's name or social media profiles.

also, why would anyone want to be called a stalker?? do they not realise how badly a stalker can ruin someone's life???

[lorcane]

"why doesn't my kid want to talk to me? let me guess...

because i don't respect them as a separate person and don't let them form their own opinion? nahh.

how about grounding them and throwing tantrums when they want to confront me or tell me about something? definitely not.

maybe because i always compare them to everyone, point out their insecurities and don't pay attention to their achievements, ignore their problems, never listen to what they have to say, ignore their needs, act overprotective, humiliate them, don't let them make their own decisions and constantly yell at them for not reading my mind instead of communicating? still not it.

oh, wait, i know! it's because of the leftist, rainbow agenda! obviously my kids have been brainwashed by those liars! back in my day, all these made up 'mental illnesses' didn't exist. no one knew what 'gay' or 'depressed' meant [but your uncle was forced to cut off his 'really close friend' and hung himself a couple months later]. we were all working on a farm, slept with pigs and ate what was the hen left. no one even thought about going to the doctor and everyone was perfectly healthy [but for some strange reason most of our siblings didn't make it to adulthood]. we didn't have smartphones, tik tok and those colorful flags and everyone was happy. we didn't need to show everyone how 'different' and 'unique' we were [because if we did, we would get beaten up by our parents for disobedience]. no one gave a damn about that. if someone saw two people of the same gender being affectionate towards each other, the whole town would keep a safe distance from them to not get infected [but your grandma and her roommate always joked about getting married if it was legal. or were they?]. we didn't feel the need to tell a stranger every detail of our private life and call it 'therapy' [and everyone struggled on their own, being too scared to ask for help]. the rainbow ideology has made everyone so sensitive these days. you don't even get the freedom of speech anymore. you cannot call things by its names [say slurs, be racist]. it's not even socially acceptable to correct your spouse when they do something wrong [beat them up, because they didn't meet your expectations]. i can't believe what these new generations are doing to our society..."

[pisshandkerchief]

"I'm sweating like a pig": scientifically innacurate (pigs don't sweat), mean (kind of implies you think pigs are gross :( not cool dawg)

"I'm sweating like a motherfucker: realistic. you probably would sweat if you fucked someone's mother. implies you've got game