Untitled

[i-like-the-stars-archive]

JAUNE ARC GIRL AND BOY LIKER REAL

[stagemanagerssaygo]

The BBC is releasing over 16,000 sound effects for free download

The BBC is releasing over 16,000 sound effects for free download

The BBC have released their incredible, expansive library of bizarre and obscure sound effects, all available for free download.

[wearemage]

THIS will be sooo good for my soundboard. Those online sessions are about to become even better :D

First music, then voice modifiers... Now this. Perfect.

Also, I’m pretty sure it can be used for a lot of other activities.

[musicalhell]

Yay, no more Soundbible!

[the-pun-jukebox]

Yellowstone National Park share a massive catalogue of ambient sounds

Yellowstone National Park are in possession of a treasure trove of ambient samples which they've released into public domain for your sampli

[stagemanagerssaygo]

The direct link: https://www.nps.gov/yell/learn/photosmultimedia/soundlibrary.htm

[pantmonger]

I like the idea that there is a bunch of free sounds, but of what quality? They troll everyone, its just a guy making various sounds with an english accent into a microphone.

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[arsanatomica]

We’re only finding out recently that a lot of animals have colors and patterns that we cannot see because they’re outside of our visual range. It calls to attention how much of the world we can’t experience because our senses are limited. When we shine UV lights on them, they glow pink or blue, but these are the colors that we CAN see…. they could be a bunch of different colors, which we SEE as all pink. It’s also interesting to consider that most of these animals are not aware of having glowing patches on their bodies…. isn’t it also possible that we have skin or hair patterns that were not aware of? . . (There is actually some research out there to support the idea that our own skin fluoresces as well and that there are gender differences in the pattern and glow.) Other places to see my posts: INSTAGRAM / FACEBOOK / ETSY / KICKSTARTER    

[liberal-memes]

[princessnijireiki]

This is Adam Erickson, pastor at the Clackamas United Church of Christ in Milwaukee, Oregon!

[saxgoddess25]

Oh finally. A real Christian.

[systlin]

Now THIS man’s read the book

[learningtoletgo]

Lämp

[the-greentext-guy]

[wisgi]

[modmad]

for the complete experience

[moistmailman]

Babysitter AU

Pyrrha, holding a 7 year old Weiss and Ruby in her arms: Look guys, can you at least try and get along today? For me?

Weiss, whining: But she's eating too many cookies!

Ruby, mouth full of cookies: No I'm not!

Weiss: Yes you are! You're getting crumbs everywhere!

Ruby, in fact, spitting out crumbs: Am not!

Weiss: Are too!

Ruby: Am not!

Weiss: Are too!

Ruby: IM NOT!

Weiss: ARE TOO!

Pyrrha, sighing: Look, why do you even care if Ruby eats too many cookies in the first place?

Weiss: Because the dunce might get a stomach ache if she eats too many!

Pyrrha:....so? Why do you care?

Weiss, awkwardly: Well because.....her tummy will hurt.

Pyrrha, smiling:.......

Weiss: W-what?

Pyrrha, cooing: Awww, are you worried about your friend Ruby?

Weiss, blushing: W-what?!

Pyrrha: You actually care about her, don't you?

Weiss, blushing more: N-no! I-its just that she is going to cry loudly of her tummy hur— H-HEY!

Ruby, hugging Weiss: AWWW! I CARE ABOUT YOU TOO, WEISSY!

Weiss, blushing: G-get off my, you dunce! Who d-do you think you are hugging me! Unhand me now!

Ruby, hugging tighter: But I wanna hug you!!!!!

Weiss: Ew! Gross. You're getting cookie crumbs everywhere! L-let go! P-pyrrha, help me!

Pyrrha: *giggles loudly*

Weiss, whining: PYRRRRRHA!

*a knock is heard at the door*

Pyrrha: Ope, I think that might be one of your sisters to pick you up. Be right back. *Stands up and leaves the room*

Weiss, trying to break free: Pyrrha! Come back here and help me! Pyrrha! PYRRHA!

Ruby, still hugging: Theres nothing wrong with hugging, Weissy!

Weiss: D-dont call me that!

Pyrrha, opening her door: Hello?

*Pyrrha opens the door to find a tall and older woman with white hair and piercing blue eyes, standing in an authority like stance*

Pyrrha, smiling: Oh, hello Winter.

Winter, bowing respectfully: Hello, Pyrrha. I hope your evening has been well.

Pyrrha, nodding: Oh it's been great. Thanks for asking.

Winter: Well that's fantastic. I assume my sister hasn't been giving you a hard time?

Pyrrha, chuckling: Oh heavens no. She's been an angel; maybe a little crabby though. But other than that, she's been fine.

Winter: Thats great to hear. Thanks for watching her by. You know, I really appreciate you being such a kind and sweet babysitter to my sister.

Pyrrha, modestly: Oh it's nothing to thank me for. I'm just doing what any other baby sitter would do.

Winter, chuckling: Thats honestly hard to believe. Weiss talks about you all the time. Talking about how sweet and amazing you are. She tells me how you are teaching her about spelling and other subjects. You are going beyond what a regular baby sitter would. And I really appreciate it. Thank you.

Pyrrha, smiling: No seriously, you don't need to thank me. Having Weiss around is always a pleasure. She's a bright and very sweet girl, even if her previous babysitter called her a brat all the time.

Winter: Well I'm still gonna. In fact, I think you deserve a little something too.

Pyrrha: What do you mean?

Winter, smiling: I have these reservations to this this beautiful restaurant, and I want to take you with me. It's for the golden clam.

Pyrrha, eyes widening: The Golden Clam? W-what? B-but that place is so expensive, Winter. I can't accept that.

Winter, smiling: But I want you too. You deserve it.

Pyrrha, slightly blushing: I-I don't k-know. T-this seems too much.

Winter: I promise that it's nothing, okay? I'm not even spending that much money. Now come on and let me award you for being such a great babysitter.

Pyrrha, hesitatingly:.....are you sure?

Winter: Yes, positive.

Pyrrha:......o-okay. I'll go.

Winter, smiling: Great. You won't regret it. I promise. The reservation is for this Friday night.

Pyrrha, nodding: Great. I can't wai— wait, this Friday night?

Winter: Yes, this Friday. Is there a problem?

Pyrrha, guiltily: Oh Winter, Im so sorry but I can't make it this Friday. I'm going to a concert with Yang.

Winter, gritting her teeth from the mentioned of the blond:......Yang you say? You're going to a concert with Yang?

Pyrrha: Yeah. She asked me this morning when she dropped Ruby off, apparently she had an extra ticket and gave it to me to not waste it.

Winter: Oh really? Well, isn’t that.....nice.....hmm.....so is it just going to be you two, or....

Pyrrha: Just us.

Winter: Wow, just you two? Man, that's....so she just so happened to had another ticket, huh? Isn’t that.....convenient.

Pyrrha: Yeah, I guess it is.

Winter, still gritting her teeth: Well that's just......wonderful.

Pyrrha:......Winter, are you alright?

Winter: Hmm? Me? Oh yeah, I'm fine. I'm all dandy. Don't worry.

Pyrrha: Oh okay. I really am sorry about this by the way. I feel really bad.

Winter: No no no, don't feel bad. I'm okay. I promise.

Pyrrha: If you say so. Anyway, allow me go get your sister for you. Be right back. *Enters her apartment*

Winter, growling under her breath: God damn it Xiao-Long! You little piece of—

???: Is that Winty I see?

Winter, under her breath: God damn it.

*Winter turns to see a tall buxom blonde swaying her way towards her with a smirk on*

Winter, annoyed: Hello Yang.

Yang, pouting: Awww, what's wrong, Winty? *Gasp* oh wait. I know that look anywhere. You just got rejected, didn't ya?

Winter, gritting her teeth: Shut up.

Yang: Man, that gotta suck now, doesn't it? So, what did you ask her out to?

Winter, sighing: If you just know....I had two reservations to....the Golden Clam.

Yang, laughing: Oh you gotta be shitting me! You must’ve wasted so much money!

Winter, gritting her teeth while trying to calm down:.......

Yang: You gotta be so pissed right now! So how does it feel, knowing that I have a date with Pyrrha? It's an awesome concert too. Does that bother you? Huh? Does it piss you off? Huh?

Winter, internally: Just ignore her. She's nothing to you. Don't let her get under your skin.

Yang: Hey, are you listening? Are you pissed? You look pissed? You look really pissed? Hey? Hey? Hey—

Winter, stomping: Okay, listen here you little harlot!

Yang: Oh ho ho ho~ I think you're mad.

Winter: I swear to God, Yang!

Yang: Why are you even after Pyrrha anyway? You're much older than her.

Winter: Im only 4 years older!

Yang, looking Winter up and down:......really?

Winter: Oh you lit—

Pyrrha, starting to walk out with Weiss: And here she is!

Winter, feigning excitement: —tle one right here. There you are, Weiss! *Ruffles Weiss's hair*

Pyrrha: Oh, hey Yang.

Yang, smiling: Heya, P money. Excited for the concert?

Pyrrha: I sure am. I'm sure it will be grand.

Yang: Me too. I was just telling Winter about it actually.

Pyrrha: Really?

Winter, smiling: Yep, she sure was. Hey, if you don't mind me asking, what concert are you going to?

Pyrrha: Oh it's uhm....*starts snapping fingers* Shoot, what was they called again?

Yang: The Achieve-Men. They're great, and sold out as well. So no one will be able to get in now. Nobody. *smirks*

Winter: *Growls under her breath*

Yang: Oh, and got front rows seat as well.

Pyrrha, nodding: Thas right. Seat 6 and 7 I believe?

Yang, nodding: Corecto, p money. So these seats are totally AMAZING! It's a shame you can't show up, Winter. Since you know....it's sold out.

Winter, clenching her fist: Yeah... It's a real....shame.....anyway, I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow, Pyrrha.

Pyrrha: O-oh. You're leaving? O-okay. Bye.

Winter, picking up Weiss: Goodbye. *Starts to leave*

Yang, smiling: Well anyway, I'm here for the Rubster.

Pyrrha: Hmm? Oh, right. I'll be right back.

Winter, walking away: Hmm.... Seats six and seven huh?

Weiss, being carried: What?

Winter, smiling: Nothing, snowflake. *Pulls out scroll and dials a number in it before calling someone*.......hey Klein? I need a favor? Can you do some....research about a certain sold out concerts? I need to know who bought a certain ticket to it......great, thanks.

*days later, Friday night at the concert*

Yang, smiling: So, are you excited?

Pyrrha, smiling: Yeah, I kinda am. I've never been to a concert before.

Yang: Well I hope your first time will be unforgetta— wait, what the hell?!

Pyrrha, turning: Wha— Winter?

Winter, walking over to them: Hello you two. What are you doi— wait, are these your seats?

Yang, annoyed: Yeah! Remember, Pyrrha told you?

Winter: She did? Hmm, I must've forgetten.

Pyrrha: How did you get in here? I thought it was sold out.

Winter: Oh I pulled a few strings. Nothing too special. But hey, isn't this cool? I'm going to hang out with you two.

Pyrrha, smiling: Well that’s nice. Isn’t it, Yang?

Yang, gritting her teeth: Yeah, it's so....amazing!

*meanwhile*

Coco, on the phone: No Velvs, you don't understand! This rich chick walked up to me and paid me 20 grand for my concert ticket! Isn't that amazing?!.....I don't know how she I had a concert ticket. Who cares! I got 20 grand!

[teathattast]

chanbanhi

[lolt64]

[maripr]

[badjokesbyjeff]

A politician dies…

And ends up standing in front of the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second, flicks through his book, and finds his name.

“So, you’re a politician…” “Well, yes, is that a problem?” “Oh no, no problem. But we’ve recently adopted a new system for people in your line of work, and unfortunately you will have to spend a day in Hell. After that however, you’re free to choose where you want to spend eternity!”

“Wait, I have to spend a day in Hell??” says the politician. “Them’s the rules” Says St Peter, clicks his fingers, and WOOMPH, the guy dissapears… And awakes, curled up with his hands over his eyes, knowing he’s in Hell. Cautiously, he listens for the screams, sniffs the air for brimstone, and finds… Nothing. Just the smell of, is that fabric softener? And cut grass, this can’t be right?

“Open your eyes!” says a voice. “C'mon, wakey wakey, we’ve only got 24 hours!”. Nervously, he uncovers his eyes, looks around, and sees he’s in a hotel room. A nice one too. Wait, this is a penthouse suite… And there’s a smiling man in a suit, holding a martini. “Who are you??” The politician asks. “Well, I’m Satan!” says the man, handing him the drink and helping him to his feet. “Welcome to Hell!” “Wait, this is Hell? But… Where’s all the pain and suffering?” he asks. Satan throws him a wink. “Oh, we’ve been a bit mis-represented over the years, it’s a long story. Anyway, this is your room! The minibar is of course free, as is the room service, there’s extra towels next to the hot-tub, and if you need anything, just call reception. But enough of this! It’s a beautiful day, and if you’d care to look outside…” Slightly stunned by the opulent surroundings, the man wanders over to the floor-to-ceiling windows through which the sun is glowing, looks far down, and sees a group of people cheering and waving at him from a golf course. “It’s one of 5 pro-level courses on site, and there’s another 6 just a few minutes drive out past the beach and harbour!” says Satan, answering his unasked question. So they head down in the lift, walk out through the glittering lobby where everyone waves and welcomes the man, as Satan signs autographs and cherrily talks shop with the laughing staff. And as he walks out, he sees the group on the golf course are made up of every one of his old friends, people he’s admired for years but never met or worked with, and people whose work he’s admired but died long before his career started. And out of the middle of this group walks his wife, with a massive smile and the body she had when she was 20, who throws her arms around him and plants a delicate kiss on his cheek. Everyone cheers and applauds, and as they slap him on the back and trade jokes, his worst enemy arrives, as a 2 foot tall goblin-esque caddy. He spends the day in the bright sunshine on the course, having the time of his life laughing at jokes and carrying important discussions, putting the world to rights with his friends while holding his delighted wife next to him as she gazes lovingly at him. Later, they return to the hotel for dinner and have an enormous meal, perfectly cooked, which descends into a food-fight when someone accidentally throws a bread roll at the next table (where Ghandi is having a game of truth-or-dare with Marylin Monroe). As everyone is falling about laughing and flinging breadsticks at each other, his wife whispers in his ear… And they return to their penthouse suite, and spend the rest of the night making love like they did on their honeymoon. After 6 hours of intense passion, the man falls deep into the 100% Egyptian cotton pillows, and falls into a deep and happy sleep… And is woken up by St Peter. “So, that was Hell. Wasn’t what you were expecting, I bet?” “No sir!” says the man. “So then” says St Peter “you can make your choice. It’s Hell, which you saw, or Heaven, which has choral singing, talking to God, white robes, and so on”. “Well… I know this sounds strange, but on balance, I think I’d prefer Hell” says the politician. “Not a problem, we totally understand! Enjoy!” Says St Peter, and clicks his fingers again.

The man wakes up in total darkness, the stench of ammonia filling the air and distant screams the only noise. As he adjusts, he can see the only light is from belches of flame far away, illuminating the ragged remains of people being tortured or burning in a sulphurous ocean. A sudden bolt of lightning reveals Satan next to him, wearing the same suit as before and grinning, holding a soldering iron in one hand and a coil of razor-wire in the other. “What’s this??” He cries. “Where’s the hotel?? Where’s my wife??? Where’s the minibar, the golf-courses, the pool, the restaurant, the free drinks and the sunshine???”

“Ah”, says Satan. “You see, yesterday, we were campaigning. But today, you voted…”

[comet-lorcan]

Jeff, this isn’t a joke; I’ve just had a spiritual awakening.

[immortalcheesewedge]

This feels less like a joke and more like a parable

[mmezo]

[kaijuno]

In highschool I wrote a story about a middle-generation of stellar travelers. Their parents were born on earth and left as children, and the middle generation will not live long enough to see their destination. They live their entire lives on the ship and I wrote about them trying to find their place in everything. They will never know blue skies and warm beaches and open fields with warm breezes. They’ll never know birdsong or crickets or frogs. They’ll never hear the rain on the roof of a dreary day. I never could find the right way to end the story. I wanted it to be a happy ending, but I didn’t know how to do it.

I realize now that it was a book about me dealing with depression before I even knew it. Looking back at how blatant the projecting was, it’s obvious now. It wasn’t then.

In the story, the middle-generation people are lost. They’re apathetic. They’re just a placeholder. The only job they have is to keep the ship running, have kids, and die. As the middle generation of people began becoming adults, suicide rates were skyrocketing. Crime and drug rates were jumping. This generation was completely apathetic because they felt that they had no use.

In the story, a small group of people in the middle-generation create the Weather Project. They turn the ship into a terrarium. They make magnificent gardens and take the DNA of animals they took with them and recreate them and they make this cold, metal spaceship that they have to live their entire lives on into a home. They take what little they have and they break it and rearrange it into something beautiful. They take this radical idea and turn the ship into a wonderful jungle of trees and birds and sunshine.

And I realize now how much it reflects my state of mind as I transitioned from a child into an adult while dealing with depression. You always hear “it gets better” and “when you’re older things will be easier” and I was so sick of waiting for it to get better. I was in the middle-generation stage. And I was sick of it. I was so sick of waiting.

When I was in highschool I didn’t know how to end the story. I didn’t know how to have a happy ending. I didn’t have the life experience then to finish the story in a meaningful way. I didn’t know how to make it better for these middle-generation characters.

But now that I’m older, I’m learning. That if you sit and wait for things to get better, it never will. You have to take your life and break it apart and rearrange it into something beautiful. You have to make the cold metal ship into the garden that you deserve. You have to make your own meaning. You have to plant your own garden.

You have to teach yourself that being happy is not a radical idea.

[kaijuno]

God you guys I never thought this would become so popular 😱 I was gonna name it The Weather Project after the art installment that inspired it

By Olafur Eliasson

[sexy-necromancing-bird]

This actually made me a bit teary ngl

[undercoverwizardninjaturtle]

this is ART

[rwby-analysis]

People have fun with Nora wearing the trans flag colours and of course now there's discourse about it. I didn't really miss this fandom.

#ruinNorafortransphobes2019

[gahdamnpunk]

Reblog to make a transphobe uncomfortable eating M&M’s

[0nighthawk0-deactivated20200912]

They did the same with the Brown M&M

Clearly they’re together too, two happy Trans Women Lesbians.

[universe-punk]

[badjokesbyjeff]

It’s getting crowded in heaven, so one day Saint Peter decides to only accept people who make him laugh.

A man came walking up to the Pearly Gates, and Saint Peter said to him:

“Alright bud, you’re only getting in today if you can make me laugh, so why don’t you tell me about how you died.”

The man looked at Saint Peter and said, “Oh man, it was awful! I was absolutely sure my wife was having an affair, so I left work early to come home and try to catch her in the act. When I got home, sure as shit there she was, naked on the bed! I looked all over the apartment, but I couldn’t find the guy anywhere. So I went outside on our 25th story balcony, and there he was!! Hanging over the edge by his fingertips! So I ran inside, and grabbed my hammer and ran back outside and started smashing his hands and fingers with it! He finally let go, and he fell down 25 stories but he landed in some bushes, so I ran inside and using all of my might, I grabbed my refrigerator, picked it up, and threw it over the rail and on top of the guy, crushing and killing him!! But all of the strain and exertion from picking up the refrigerator gave me a heart attack and I died.”

Saint Peter let out a faint chuckle, and since it was a crime of passion, he decided to let the poor soul in.

Another man came walking up to the pearly gates, and Saint Peter told this man the same thing—that in order to get in, he was going to have to make Saint Peter laugh. So the second started to tell Saint Peter how he died.

“Oh man, it was awful! I was doing aerobics out on my 26th story balcony of my apartment, when all of a sudden a flock of birds came out of nowhere and started attacking me! I was trying to get away, but I fell over the edge of my railing! However, on my way down I managed to grab the railing of the apartment below mine…but then this maniac suddenly showed up and started smashing my hands and fingers with a hammer until I let go! Fortunately for me, I landed in some bushes, but then some guy dropped a freaking refrigerator on me!

Saint Peter chuckled again, let the second guy into heaven, and was realizing he has found a way he could really start enjoying his job! About that time, a 3rd man comes walking up to the pearly gates, and Saint Peter gave him the speech about needing to make him laugh, and asks him how he died.

“Oh man, you’re never going to believe this shit! Alright, so picture this—I’m butt naked and hiding in a refrigerator…”

[dove-among-bats]

WE’VE TALKED ABOUT YOUR URL JEFF

[thetruepartygod]

Just realized something

In season two when Mercury fights Pyrrha, he got to choose his opponent - by this logic that means Pyrrha got to choose hers – by THAT logic this means Pyrrha deadass looked Glynda in the face and said “Team CRDL.” and then she literally just did that. Pyrrha, feeling that they got off too easy for bullying Jaune (and others) decided to take it upon herself and humiliate them by solo-ing their whole team.

Pyrrha Nikos may be a cinnamon roll but she doesn’t hold back

[mrk50]

Pyrrha “its bone crunching time :)” Nikos and Jaune “ohmygod” Arc