im not going to put a kid on blast but a 14 year old just messaged me very upset that i support “transtrenders” saying ‘its not 2011 anymore’ and that “[transtrenders] are people who come into our community to tell us to die because we’re not the fun and trendy trans people because we feel more deeply because we’re embarrassing and serious“… first of all, you were 6 years old in 2011.
second, i am not the one who gets to decide someone’s intimate relationship with gender or decide that i feel things “more deeply” than them. i find it so strange and disturbing that other trans people think they get to decide for other people how correct their transgender experience is when they know what it feels like to have their bodies and minds poisoned by other people dictating what they’re allowed to be.
and there is no method to suss out fucking “transtrenders” anyway. why is that a priority at all, when other trans people aren’t the enemy, and the reason we aren’t taken seriously is because people don’t want to take us seriously anyway? that no matter how neatly we fit ourselves into a perfect ‘serious’ box, the people who don’t want to accept us simply won’t?
i’ll use myself as an example. do i look the part? why? why not? is looking at me enough to decide if i matter? everyone who knows me knows that my dysphoria has brought me nearly to suicide, my being transgender made me leave home at 17 from a lack of support, i am several years into a medical transition. another fun fact is that at every single stage of my transition i have been harassed, misgendered, and hurt.
at what point am i a transtrender?
was it one of the first times when i used he/him pronouns when this picture was taken, at 15 years old?
was it when i used he/him pronouns when this was taken, at 17 years old?
how about an actual picture of me from 2011? was this middle-schooler who knew deep down that being a girl was deeply unsettling, uncomfortable, and wrong… a transtrender? look! he doesn’t ~look the part~ at all!
how about the (i believe early 18) year old me who wore this to the unofficial LGBT prom because he did not feel safe at the official school prom, and had such a great time and felt elated at having somewhere he could be himself?
what about four months on HRT? oh god, he’s wearing shorts! AND FUNNY SOCKS!
oh, only a TRANSTRENDER (1 year on T) would be having this much fun!
a REAL transgender person (1 year on T) would NEVER pose funny in a binder, just because it was fun!
FUCK, would a real trans man wear PIIIIIINK?! would a REAL trans man really decide he just doesn’t want to wear binders ever again at age 20, 3+ years on HRT?
shiiiit, would a REAL trans man 3+ years on T wear some makeup and a silly outfit to pride?! I THINK NOT! FAKE!
oh, and heaven forbid, a REAL trans man would NEVER wear a woman’s blazer just because it looks good! that’s so incorrect!
a REAL trans man should only ever be serious, and be forever sad and stagnant about his plight. a REAL trans man would never enjoy life, love himself, learn to care for himself however he may be, have hobbies, or smile genuinely in pictures. MUST be fake.
at every point in my life i was transgender. just because i wasn’t transgender in a way you think is true or correct, doesn’t mean i didn’t get where i am now despite all that stupid bullshit i had thrown at me. i’m me. stick to you. learn to love you, love everything about you, care about you, before you think you get to decide who someone else is for them.