Anonymous Superhero @loribegins - Tumblr Blog

Shalom, Salaam, Peace Part 1: Inappropriate First Date Conversation.

I know the rules when it comes to first dates, and seeing as how I suck at first impressions, I always stay away from discussing religion and politics. Unfortunately, that leaves my mental health issues, my gratuitous use of the word fuck and shit because fudge and sugar are sweet, and there isn’t anything sweet about me but where I would hold my gun if I had one. Most appealing Id say, is my…

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Out Catching Paint US at the top

Dancing w Demons - WIP

Dancing w Demons – WIP

Dances with Demons

A girl stood atop of a car in the middle of a parking lot. The lot was empty with the exception of one vehicle. One of the tallest buildings in the gigantic city in which she lived, with so many windows that it stood as a four sided full length mirror for which the entire city could see itself. The reflection revealed a massive metropolis, in which she felt small and…

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dancing with demons - a scene

dancing with demons – a scene

They blamed themselves. They knew assigning blame was not the move, not in a situation like this. Whatever will be, will be.

It was through so many things that they were all connected. Just mere geography and same age range were enough to put them together as children. They grew up together. Her oldest friend would tell this story about Joey, they met when they were five. A purple polo shirt with…

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insomnia exorcism

Welp. This is just how it seems. An SOC dump on very little sleep in an attempt to write my first short paper of the semester. It is hard to focus on lit theories and boring old novellas when other words, other images, maybe some soft voices, are crowding your beautiful brain space.

Nappy always said make sure you have a clean work space. Most of America has ADD or ADHD. Some of just have short…

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About A Boy Who Loved A Girl

WARNING: Disclaimer, call it whatever you want. For those of you who do not like sad, sad stories, this one does not have a happy ending. This is a story about a boy who loved a girl, but you probably will not too thoroughly enjoy the ending. Unless you are a sucker for sad stories. This one may be the saddest story ever written. About the saddest girl who ever lived,…

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ode to fuckboys

i wrote this a little while ago about a fuckboy i once knew, but it is a hopeless romantic punk drunk love song, an ode to all those that were before and after and all that will ever be…

I knew the second i got here As soon as I got here In a moment too clear When there became here Far turned into near And all that distance Between you and I Since the last goodbye Told myself more than one lie And…

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About A Girl

This story does not have a happy ending. That is just a warning for those of you who do not like sad, sad stories. This is a love story, but it isn’t the one where the girl loves the boy and he loves her back for an eternity, for infinite lifetimes, and their souls never die but live together in perfect harmony forever and ever.

This is not that kind of story. This is a sad, sad story about a…

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To Be Or Not

The news about Stone Temple Pilots frontman and a man of many other rhymes and reasons, Scott Wieland, has by now hit the streets aka webs pretty virally. Last night, when I first read the news on my feed, I wanted so badly for it to be among the false death and fake articles that cloud newsfeed and timelines. Fuck, headlines at this point. Please, I said to myself, let this just be another…

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#Kurt Cobain #Scott Weiland #STP

Dirty, Filthy, Jersey: Fuck You. I am out.

Lessons are rarely learned anymore that are totally new information, in certain circumstances. It is just reiteration of these things I already know, that I keep telling myself, yet they never seem to fully break through my thick skull and stay in my brain for any elongated period of time. So, I end up doomed to repeat my own mistakes before I forget what I was supposed to remember in the first…

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Today. What the fuck is today? I bought coffee and sugar, but forgot filters. I have lighters, but nothing to smoke. I feel like this is some twisted episode of the house with the green glass doors, but I already solved that riddle, and cracked the code there so this must be some other level I don’t yet understand or know.

Please, just don’t restart me again. I am making big strides. I am…

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Today is not my day.

I try to tell myself it is just one of them days, that a girl goes through. Just one of them days. I just want to be all alone and you think I treat you wrong…

Just one of them days.

And then I remember that I am bipolar. There is a split second where I forget and think that I am just going through some dumb girl shit where I cry about chipped nail polish or spend hours…

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It seems I take the morning to reflect on my yesterday.

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. And it doesn’t look like they are here to stay today. Yesterday felt like I am finally getting my life back. Yesterday, I felt like a music journalist again. I hash tagged all access all weekend, and I meant it. Yesterday was amazing, and today is going to be chock full of all of that fun I have…

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Yesterday, I almost relapsed. I almost fell back into bad habits. I had a moment of hysterical tears because someone, something hurt my feelings and I couldn’t control myself.

Calm down, said my mom. Breathe, she said.

And it was really as simple as that. It worked. I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t need to pop a pill and wait for it to work. I simply needed to breathe. Breathe right. Breathe in.…

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So I guess this is becoming my daily bread. I get up way too early to talk to anyone about what is going on in this twisted, topsy-turvy brain of mine. So I can talk about it here.

I am not religious anymore. I am no longer the good little Jewish girl that I once was. That doesn’t mean I forsake the traditions and culture I was raised with, it just means that this world can’t possibly have the…

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I think I am going to start being more honest about my mental health. Yesterday, I had an episode of hypomania that made me feel like I might have been dying. It was that bad. I couldn’t breathe at times, I was crying uncontrollably, and I couldn’t sit still even for a minute. My hands were shaking and so were my legs. My thighs were gyrating so badly, you would have thought I put one of those…

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#Bipolar Disorder #Depression #Mania #mental health

kaitlynnjbell

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