i love my cat

Her name is Mingus. I would die for her.

[lorkinit]

I need someone to write a multi-chap long fic rewrite of Role Model where instead of Adrian de la Cruz being Troy’s gay awakening, he has a series of incredibly toxic hookups with Dallas Kent.

And it will explore the phenomenon of straight men who have sex with men and also the blow up in the locker room that gets Troy traded will be 10x juicier (bc what do you MEAN the guy he was catching feelings for is a rapist) and everything will be angstier and there will be citations for Jane Ward’s book Not Gay: Sex Between Straight White Men. And at one point Harris will punch Dallas Kent outside of a gay bar and the gag order from the commissioner will be even crazier because Crowell can accept rape but he draws the line at gay sex and-

[sacred-portal]

[lorkinit]

Roseander era Ilya

[shetheyshenanigans]

*banging on table*

HOLLANOV DONT WORK IF THEYRE NOT EQUALLY GOOD PLAYERSSSSS

NEITHER OF THEM IS THE "BEST ONE" THEY ARE ALONE AT THE TOP TOGETHER

[lorkinit]

HOLLANOV AUs ONLY WORK IF THEYRE IN THE SAME INDUSTRYYYYY

[waningg-star]

fanfiction where rose and shane do that thing where shane takes boudoir photos and rose hands them out to ilya on their wedding day stat

[lorkinit]

Omega verse is the COWARDS’ way. Make that bitch trans if you’re gonna knock him up!

“Oooo imagine a world where women can impregnate men.”

Congrats, you just reinvented T4T. Should we throw a party? Should we invite Bella Hadid?

[lorkinit]

Headcanon that when they get married, Ilya doesn’t just hyphenate, he also changes his middle name. David Hollander is one of the last dry eyes in the house. But when the officiant says, “Ilya Davidovich Rozanov, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband,” David starts sobbing and doesn’t stop until halfway through the reception.

The same thing happens when he hears the full “Ilya Davidovich Hollander-Rozanov” read out at Ilya’s citizenship ceremony a few years later.

[lorkinit]

RIP Jackie Pike you would’ve loved Good Luck Babe by Chappell Roan

[lorkinit]

Biblically accurate ship name for Skip is actually Grunter I dont make the rules

[lorkinit]

If you’re using Google Translate to put a foreign language in your fic, and I’m using Google Translate to read it, then who’s flying the plane?

[lorkinit]

If a centaur plays hockey, is that not just polo?

[lorkinit]

Yes, my character is half Asian. Which parent? His overbearing momager mother of course. What makes him so good at hockey? Hmmm… probably his Hockey IQ. The top?? No no he only bottoms. What a silly question.

Rachel when I catch you Rachel-

[lorkinit]

I do not like her, Rachel Reid.

I do not like her on my feed.

I do not like how she writes gays.

I do not like her hockey plays.

I do not like her book Long Game.

I do not like how she wrote Shane.

I did not like its shitty plot.

I did not like it when they fought.

I do not think that she is queer.

No, Rachel Reid does not go here.

[its-ate-oclock-somewhere]

fun fact: the average male heart weighs approx. 300 grams while the average male brain weight approx. 1400 grams which means that the judge's brain should be outweighing the heart on the scales by at least 4 times - except it isn't.

Which means that Hannibal purposefully set up this tableau to have the heart outweigh the brain, just like how his own heart (feelings for Will) has started to outweigh his brain (strategic thinking)

[lorkinit]

I think it’s cuz he ated it all up 🤷🏻

[lorkinit]

Yes, my character is half Asian. Which parent? His overbearing momager mother of course. What makes him so good at hockey? Hmmm… probably his Hockey IQ. The top?? No no he only bottoms. What a silly question.

Rachel when I catch you Rachel-

[lorkinit]

“His eyes narrowed dangerously.” The fuck they did! He only got the one!

[lorkinit]

Did you know that if you bring up that Heated Rivalry doesn’t pass the Bechdel test, they take you out back and shoot you.

[lorkinit]

I’m currently obsessed with the idea of Ilya’s niece going to college in Canada and reconnecting with him. But have we CONSIDERED. Ruby Pike excitedly bringing home her girlfriend for the first time. Hayden and Jackie doing their oversupportive ally parent thing freaking out over making the perfect dinner. Hayden opens the door to his daughter hand-in-hand with a tall girl with curly blonde hair and a very familiar smirk. She introduces herself as Irina Rozanova and Hayden’s blood runs COLD. Jackie and Irina are already queening out. Hayden’s still standing at the front door in shock. The possibilities here are hilarious and I demand more Pike daughter/Rozanov niece fics immediately

[lorkinit]

I DO NOT ACCEPT THE TWINKIFICATION OF SHANE MOTHERFUCKING HOLLANDER

Oh yeah let’s femme-twink-omega-girlypopify the asian bottom. Even though he’s a PROFESSIONAL HOCKEY PLAYER and one of the most painfully straight-coded gay men to ever walk the earth. I don’t CARE how submissive and breedable he is, that man is NOT a twink.