Wanderer

And so I'll continue down this path you paved for me...

[losian-sawol]

Dear S,

You are such a wonderful person. In the short time that we have known each other, you have become one of my safe persons, a friend I can go to and trust to be there for me. You are so caring and understanding and you also give great advice. Many times, I wish I was like you.

You've been hurt before and still you can continue to be so caring, so trusting and so open to love. For me, who was hurt deeply once and is now so afraid to trust and get hurt, it amazes me that you can still give so much of yourself to someone even if you feel like that someone won't stay. And he didn't stay.

He left because he wasn't ready for a relationship. He was still hung up over his past and you were there for him, caring for him, being understanding and just loving him.

He felt so guilty because he can see how wonderful you are and yet he can't reciprocate the affection and attention you give him. He said you deserve better and I agree. You deserve the world. For someone as beautiful, strong, genuine and loving as you, you deserve only the best.

You're not perfect, you've made mistakes but that doesn't define you instead, I'd rather define you by how you bounce back after everything and also how despite getting hurt so much, you've still not lost hope. I hope only the best for you S. I love you so much and I'll be there whenever you need me.

Love,

A

[losian-sawol]

I'm not exactly sure I know what home feels like. I just know that the times I was with you were the most comfortable I'd ever been.

A

[losian-sawol]

Dear J,

I thought I was okay. I thought I was successfully moving on. I thought I was finally getting over you. I was so wrong. I promised my friend that I wouldn't lose hope in love, that I would only be taking a breather in order to find out what I want and what works for me. I haven't lost hope in love and I never will but... I'm slowly losing hope of ever finding a life partner, someone who could replace you, someone who could be better than you. I still want you but I know that will never happen.

A

[losian-sawol]

Perfect on the outside, broken on the inside

I'm beginning to see that it's not until after everything is over, after you think you're okay that you realize you're actually not okay. Looking at the surface, you bore no visible marks. However, inside, you were full of cracks and once pressure is applied, you start to break.

A

[losian-sawol]

Birthday Greetings

Dear J,

You greeted me a happy birthday today and told me to enjoy my day. For a moment, I thought about replying but then realized that it would be better for both of us that I don't. Because if I do reply, even just to say thank you, there's a chance-albeit a small one-that we'll have a conversation. It might seem like nothing to you or to most people but to me, it could mean the world because that's how I started liking you.

We went from a simple conversation about what we're doing to conversations about our past, our aspirations, our insecurities, our failures and we would lift each other up. And to me that was beautiful.

I'm not saying I won't be replying to you. The day is long and I don't know if I can stop myself when I've had something to drink. I hope, for the both of us, that I won't.

Loving you always,

A

[abnormall]

i still wonder what its like to be loved. no second guessing, no reassurances, no pain. just pure, healthy, unquestionable love. 

[marvelousatrocity]

Ghostbur and Friend comic because I’m sad about Ghostbur just all the time now

[valentina-poem]

[losian-sawol]

Dear J,

Thank you and I'm sorry...

A

[abnormall]

i am utterly disappointed in who i have become. i wanted to be someone better, someone important, someone beautiful. but instead i waste space, i waste time and i burden the people i love. this isnt the future i had in mind for myself and i know its too late. i’ll never get that future i dreamed of as a child.

[marijuanamodels]

“We never realize we were in the good old days until we leave them.”

— Unknown

[yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou]

[beautifuldarkmind]

I think I’m getting better and then everything gets bad again. 

[painpoetry]

[perfectfeelings]

“I wanna be someone's first choice.”

—

[yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou]

[beautifuldarkmind]

I hate feeling this way

[stay-close]

“Do you ever lay in bed and realise how not okay you are?”

— Unknown

[losian-sawol]

It seems like that's all I'm doing these days...

A