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derek. sideblog. theunderworld-rpg. do not follow without permission. this blog is not tagged scroll at your own risk you lit a match with your nails on my back and something tells me I'll never learn.

[losingslccp]

me and my small brain energy: if you don’t have friends you can’t get into drama

me and my big brain energy: you need to make friends you fuck

[losingslccp]

i need to go hunting. i really shouldn’t while we’re out in LA. oh, god i’m going to get myself in trouble. 

[losingslccp]

You know what, I tried. I fucking tried. I put on a friendly front, I played nice. I did everything I could on my end to make sure Katrina’s birthday weekend was as drama free as possible because that was the absolute bare minimum. And you know what? I was doing a good job of it. 

But her ex couldn’t keep his god damn mouth shut.  

Katrina and I haven’t known each other long. Getting engaged at three months, sure it’s not conventional, but you know what? Sometimes when you know, you know. But he went off on her? Called her a slut for wearing a revealing dress? Just fucking talked down to her like he had some sort of superiority complex. 

Sure. I get it. Hurt people hurt people. But that was uncalled for.

I should have put him through the god damn wall. 

God, I can’t wait to get back to Albany and get the fuck away from him.

[losingslccp]

this is the first time in months that i have had a migraine. a skull splitting migraine. i can feel every single sound in the environment around me. it’s driving me insane. it feels like the telltale heart in my skull. fuck.

[losingslccp]

[losingslccp]

Board 004 :: Derek DiScanio & Martin Chandler

the last time i was in love, it was 1949. his name was martin. he was the most beautiful boy i have seen in my entire life, still, to this very day. i was 18. 18 years old. and god, was i in love.

we had plans. we were going to move away. we were going to buy a farm. we were going to live out in the middle of nowhere where no one could hurt us. we couldn’t be judged for being in love. and he couldn’t be judged for the color of his skin.

the world had different plans.

[losingslccp]

Board 003 :: Derek DiScanio - Self Image

It's such a problem when people come near you It seems ironic that most people fear you What a shame that you feel so insane, but the truth of the matter's Your shadow is cold and afraid

Monster. The word rolls off Derek’s tongue easier than it should. Derek absolutely hates who he is and what he has become. Since he was turned, he has been angry. This cursed infinite existence wasn’t a choice. No. The choice Derek had made the night of his twenty-first birthday was to get drunk and get behind the wheel of his car, knowing full well he wanted to run it into a pole on the way home. The world had other plans for him though, which was probably for the worst. Derek has never handled his anger, he has never coped with it, he has never sought out an alternate way to source his food either. This is rather unfortunate for... well, just about any female with a pulse in his area who all have a chance of being his next victim and adding another shiny token to his kill collection. 

[losingslccp]

Board 002:: Derek DiScanio & Katrina Stuart

And in the morning light we'll turn the wrongs to right Rearrange the odds and we can save tonight I thought our love was just a recipe Who would've thought that it'd mean everything to me 

After Derek understood what it meant to be a vampire, what it meant to be stuck in an endless cycle where he never got older, he swore he’d never fall in love. He had already lost one love, he couldn’t deal with another growing old while he stayed the same. That was until he met Katrina. It was supposed to stay casual, a fling, maybe a friends with benefits situation. That would have been a nice change of pace for Derek. But he fell, and he fell hard. Katrina, his opposite on so many levels. She was just so good - an actual angel on Earth. Why would she ever want anything to do with a monster like him? Why would she stoop to his level? Why would she consider giving up her wings for him? Why did she give him an actual vial of her blood to wear around his neck? Derek doesn’t think he’s deserving of her love and attention, he never will. But he is looking forward to his forever with her, once they can figure it out.

[losingslccp]

i am full of shit. that was a good shot. ouch.

[losingslccp]

i’m like. weirdly anxious. like skin crawling anxious.

the group chat i got yeeted into brought up parents. i never got to say goodbye to mine.

fuck. i miss mom.

[losingslccp]

and after today i remember why i’ve been such a fucking hermit.

[losingslccp]

Board 001 :: Derek DiScanio :: OOC Character Concept

Maybe I'm a bad person. Maybe I don't wanna walk before I crawl. It only matters if it's worth it, So does it even matter at all?

This board represents Derek’s character concept as a whole.

The Text: Derek is starting to come to terms with his humanity once again, and god does he think he’s an awful person. But if you ask Katrina she’ll tell you he isn’t.

Skateboarding, performing, hockey, singing: These are all things that Derek actively continues to enjoy. Hockey and skateboarding are two of his biggest hobbies. 

The watch: Time. Derek has so much time. And he has absolutely no idea what to do with it.

The blood splatter, the fangs, the hand around a throat, the body covered in blood: These are all to represent the vampiric side of Derek, the side he is growing to despise more and more every day. It’s like a darkness that is shrouding over him and pulling him back down. When he hunts, he makes a mess and often comes home splattered in blood the photo on the bottom right.

The car interior: Derek should have died in a car crash in 1952. He was behind the wheel of the car after having too much to drink.

The kiss: Derek’s first love, Martin, was taken away far too soon by a group of boys from their school. It was a hate crime, a senseless hate crime because it was the 1940s and racism was still running rampant.

The boys walking: This is just a photo to commemorate the era that Derek actually grew up in

The Journals: Derek writes and writes and writes. He fills journal upon journal. He has been since the 50s. The shelves in his office are lined with his journals. He is very protective of them, very particular about how they are sorted and making sure he is the only one to ever touch them.

It is important to note the center column is the only one in color to emphasize the color red. Red. Derek’s least favorite color in the whole wide world. Red, the color of blood, the color of the only thing that can sustain him, the color of his biggest vice, the color of the one thing he cannot and will never give up.

[httpstwinks]

[cappuccino1]

Why are you getting jealous, baby?. You know I would fingerfuck you right in front of her.

[sangporn]

[thatgalpal]

[beigetype]