Finding Me

About the Author: I'm just an old soul, trapped in a young body, struggling to be an adult.

[videoflesh]

the second opening animation for Sailor Moon is literally one of the most aesthetically pleasing things I’ve ever seen so here’s the creditless / textless version

[spicemommy]

my brother and his ”“friend“” are having an argument over who would top between them if they were gay together

[spicemommy]

I’m sitting against his door listening to them and my brother says “i think my dick is bigger so i’d top” and his friend says “well i think mines bigger” and now there is silence i think theyre checking

[spicemommy]

It’s all quiet and my brother goes “bro, you’re fucking hung”

[spicemommy]

OK I THINK THEYRE FUCKING I’M GONE GOODBYE I DONT WANT TO HEAR THIS

[lostandfound1993]

Colors of Past Lovers

My love for Nathaniel was a four walled room, blank canvases of white, pure and naive. Eventually showered with crimson shotgun splatters of a shattered virgin heart. My love for Michael was the plain yellow of a daisy, a symbol of happiness. But a color ended prematurely because no one desired bedroom walls painted this color. My love for Jesse was a ravenous black, an eclipse that blacked out the windows to the sunshine of my previous love, a tribute to a dark chapter of my life, a place I refused to stay forever. My love for Stephen was the midday dusk, the darkest shade of violet just before black. The finale of a setting sun devoured by the horizon of an obsidian sea. My love for Josiah was a crystalline blue, warm, light, and happy, like the shores of Miami. Pale blue waters filled the irises of his stare, and the rough sand mimicked the scratchy stubble of his face tracing my flesh.

[lostandfound1993]

When it came to love, I found my curiosity to be too much, and my heart filled with naivety. The showers of spring brought flowers to my heart, and they budded with the essence of love. White lilies mimicked his smile, hydrangeas competed with his blue eyes, and sunflowers followed the radiance of his soul. The raging heat of summer sprouted a solidarity red rose; a passionate crimson that echoed the heated pulse of blood beneath my skin when his eyes met mine. It was lined with thorns that foreshadowed the pain that would inevitably be inflicted. Fall arrived. My broken heart was stitched together by thorns of a flower-less rose bush, decaying vines binding its peices into a tragic mosaic. Green turned to brown, and the shards of my heart littered the ground, buried beneath the orange and yellow of Autumn’s leaves. Winter is here. I sit upon the glacial bricks of a wishing well, tossing the pieces of my heart in like value-less copper pennies. They fall, devoured into a darkness, just as quickly as the day is devoured by night. I beg for my scar to stop aching, I wish for solace. When it came to love, I found my curiosity to be too much, and my heart too bitter to try again.

[be-fearless-brave-and-kind]

Dear future child If it’s 3am and you find yourself in a world of complete despair Please do not turn to strangers on the internet for solace as I did Please climb onto my bed And I will hold you until the demons sleep If it is Thursday morning and you are too sad to move I won’t force you I will buy ice cream and we will watch your favourite tv show and I will remind you of your importance If you feel as if you have no purpose I will remind you that you were created entirely with love and every pain you feel, I feel too When you’re sure you can’t go on anymore I will tell you that when I was 21 I searched for peace at the bottom of a vodka bottle chased by a bottle of pain killers But that five years later When you were placed in my arms in the delivery room I realised that you were why I had been holding on Without realising it, you saved me, do you know how amazing that is? So if you ever feel like grabbing that vodka bottle, put it down, we will get in the car and I will drive until the sky turns magenta I will show you how the sun rises every morning to encourage you to rise too Sweetheart I refuse to be unaware of your sufferings As my mother was to mine.

Your mental health is my priority. (via be-fearless-brave-and-kind)

Beautiful

(via nerdtasticmama)

[nevergooutofstyle-deactivated20]

taylorswift I hope you see this but we’ve been together for 4 months, he just texted me and told me he was done with me. Gave me no reason and kept trying to get me to do irrational things to get him back. Now he’s calling me names and I just feel crumbled. I don’t know what to do

[breakmelikeapromise]

[lskbe-deactivated20160223]

TAYLOR IS AN ACTUAL ANGEL SENT FROM HEAVEN

[sixteensmallstepstohappiness]

1. push yourself to get up before the rest of the world - start with 7am, then 6am, then 5:30am. go to the nearest hill with a big coat and a scarf and watch the sun rise. 2. push yourself to fall asleep earlier - start with 11pm, then 10pm, then 9pm. wake up in the morning feeling re-energized and comfortable. 3. erase processed food from your diet. start with no lollies, chips, biscuits, then erase pasta, rice, cereal, then bread. use the rule that if a child couldn’t identify what was in it, you don’t eat it. 4. get into the habit of cooking yourself a beautiful breakfast. fry tomatoes and mushrooms in real butter and garlic, fry an egg, slice up a fresh avocado and squirt way too much lemon on it. sit and eat it and do nothing else. 5. stretch. start by reaching for the sky as hard as you can, then trying to touch your toes. roll your head. stretch your fingers. stretch everything. 6. buy a 1L water bottle. start with pushing yourself to drink the whole thing in a day, then try drinking it twice. 7. buy a beautiful diary and a beautiful black pen. write down everything you do, including dinner dates, appointments, assignments, coffees, what you need to do that day. no detail is too small. 8. strip your bed of your sheets and empty your underwear draw into the washing machine. put a massive scoop of scented fabric softener in there and wash. make your bed in full. 9. organise your room. fold all your clothes (and bag what you don’t want), clean your mirror, your laptop, vacuum the floor. light a beautiful candle. 10. have a luxurious shower with your favourite music playing. wash your hair, scrub your body, brush your teeth. lather your whole body in moisturiser, get familiar with the part between your toes, your inner thighs, the back of your neck. 11. push yourself to go for a walk. take your headphones, go to the beach and walk. smile at strangers walking the other way and be surprised how many smile back. bring your dog and observe the dog’s behaviour. realise you can learn from your dog. 12. message old friends with personal jokes. reminisce. suggest a catch up soon, even if you don’t follow through. push yourself to follow through. 14. think long and hard about what interests you. crime? sex? boarding school? long-forgotten romance etiquette? find a book about it and read it. there is a book about literally everything. 15. become the person you would ideally fall in love with. let cars merge into your lane when driving. pay double for parking tickets and leave a second one in the machine. stick your tongue out at babies. compliment people on their cute clothes. challenge yourself to not ridicule anyone for a whole day. then two. then a week. walk with a straight posture. look people in the eye. ask people about their story. talk to acquaintances so they become friends. 16. lie in the sunshine. daydream about the life you would lead if failure wasn’t a thing. open your eyes. take small steps to make it happen for you.

Sixteen Small Steps to Happiness    (via desertblooms)

[lostandfound1993]

What I Was

           I never understood what I truly was.

           I was different from everyone else, I was connected to something, something that others were not. I was burdened with this disconnect, and so I stood noiselessly amongst bustling crowds, but was utterly alone. My chameleon soul blended me to the same shade as everyone else, and they never knew differently.

           My mask was painted happily, but the side that pressed against my cheeks was sketched with sorrow.

           I looked for light in the darkest of alleys, found it in the darkest of people, but could never find it within myself.

           I was a paragon of empowered strength, but internally I was a brittle coliseum decaying to the rounds of a sundial.

           I was the sweet euphoria of heaven, with the acrid sting of hell.

           I was a set of angelic feathers, clinging to disguise leathered wings.

           I was frigidly cold, but I burned like fire.  

           I was a monster cloaked in white.

           Simply put, I was a powerful contradiction.

            I was powerful in ways that others could not understand. Powerful in a way that I did not comprehend.

-6:9

[dianaclairmonts]

There are two people you will meet in this life… (x)

[sulietsexual]

Buffy references in other media

[lostandfound1993]

"Stop building me up with proclamations of love, and tearing me down with the lack of sustenance needed to sustain the high. I need more than shallow messages during daylight hours, and drunken sonnets in the evening. I don't want to be the person that quells your three a.m. loneliness, if I can't be the one that crosses your mind on a busy day at three in the afternoon." -5:26

[lostandfound1993]

It was nighttime, and it felt like a nightmare. A living, breathless nightmare, I was so utterly alone. So alone in fact, I wanted to end my life, and maintain that cold bitter loneliness, eternally. But a great friend spent hours with me, over the phone, and somehow, I wasn't alone, and that nightmare underwent a metamorphosis, and freed itself into a dream. I didn't want to be alone anymore. I wanted to be amongst the world again. I awoke from the dismal trap depression had spring upon me, and suddenly there was light and color to a day I had deemed so dark and cold. 5:28

[nimbus-cloud]

I have 2 moods when writing.

Write 10 pages in one go, holy shit, my hands won’t stop moving, Imma get this fic done in like 2 hours WUT

I forgot how to English, oh god, write one sentence, watch 3 movies, write another sentence, the ideas are there but they just won’t come out how the frick do I end this, this Word Document has been open for over a week WELP

[lostandfound1993]

Mutilated Masterpiece

They say to stop viewing your pain as a work of art; that perhaps it’ll make it easier to set it free. What are you to do when the beauteous art that was birthed from your bloodied agony is the only thing beautiful about you? 

-5:27

[lostandfound1993]

"Regardless of how broken I ever was, I never used my sharpened shards to hurt another human being. I wasn't made, even in a shattered state with the capability of hurting someone the way you devastated me." -5:26

[lostandfound1993]

A Thousand

I write a thousand words, and they don't change the outcome. I suture this heart with a thousand stitches, and it's still broken. I pray a thousand times, and they fall upon a deaf deity. I light a thousand candles, and the darkness still surrounds me. I look to a thousand others, and I still think of only you. I beg with a thousand questions, and receive no answers. A thousand times... maybe just one more? -5:25

[lostandfound1993]

Finish the job that you started. End the prolonged disease that your love infected my heart with:

Reach into my chest, pierce through this armor of flesh and marrow. Rip from me the agonized beast within. It beats with rage, and howls in agony. Pry apart this cage of bone that traps it, one rib at a time. Pull from me this bloodied and mangled creature, end the misery buried within my chest. 

-5:25