[ulibeanzz]

sometimes u just gotta put on your cowboy hat and be both the cowboy shooting at your own feet in rapid succession and telling yourself to dance and also the cowboy dancing away from your own bullets with stunning accuracy 

[the-sky-traveler]

my brother is teaching his cat how to high five by giving her a treat every time she successfully taps her hand to his hand, which is all well and good, but now she thinks that she is entitled to food every time she high fives someone.  i can’t eat in the same room as her anymore because she’ll just bap my hand rapid fire and then go nyoom straight in for my pizza like no Kelly that’s illegal go finish ur own dinner

[anonymous-bosch]

“No Kelly, that’s illegal.”

[lostonthefarm]

Gus wanted to watch Jurassic World and then fell asleep on the couch before it even started. I’m just going to watch it anyway he’ll wake up sooner or later. 

[moami]

hey, how long does it take before the forest god comes to get you after you leave a strand of your hair and a fresh loaf of bread in a mushroom circle by the lake? asking for a fr

[outofcontextcomicpanels]

[lostonthefarm]

I felt like I was being watched. 

[yesterdaysprint]

The Sunday Leader, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, February 20, 1898

[mypapawinchester]

[writing-prompt-s]

Bubbles, when they pop, whisper secrets that the dead took with them to their graves.

[dandydanja]

I didn’t read the url at first and I was fully prepared to accept this as reality.

[friendly-animals]

(Source)

[lostonthefarm]

There’s a duck in my living room. 

[vodka-con-amor-deactivated20221]

[wonderworldmotion]

[lostonthefarm]

@mrsmetalarm But he has SO many friends already

[clintseastwood]

[lostonthefarm]

Gus tried to convince me that Mr. Hops needs more friends. And if he had tried for another five minutes I may have caved. 

[evilsupplyco]

Folks talk about gateway drugs such as pot. Its crap. You know what a REAL GATEWAY DRUG IS?

BIBLIOGRAPIHES.

(shouting) I HAVE

(SHOUTING LOUDLY) TOO MANY BOOKS

(HOWLING) TO READ ALREADY

(dying gasp) may hell be well lit and stocked with tea